


Just one time

by achoo987



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Explicit Language, M/M, Mpreg, Other, RPS AU, Regret, Work In Progress, asshole Jensen, hard choices, unhappy relatives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-31
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2017-10-25 03:17:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 124,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/271146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achoo987/pseuds/achoo987
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter 30 contains chap 30 A and 30 B. Chap 30 B has thoughts of suicide at the end.</p></blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

"I don't know why you have to push this issue, Jay." Jensen is fuming after Jared brings the issue of having kids up again. "You know that it could be dangerous for you and you also know I never wanted any."

"Jen, having kids is no more dangerous than walking across the street if you watch what you’re doing. And you knew I could conceive and carry since we've been together. Did you absolutely think I'd never want this?" Jared pleads with Jensen.

"You know what Jared. I don't want any fucking kids. I don't see why you just won't let it be. Every damn time you see your family or Chad and his 50 damn kids you start riding my ass to have fucking kids. I'm sick of it. Just drop it." Jensen grabs his keys and slams the front door as he leaves.

Jared stands in the living room staring at the front door, sobbing unable to understand how Jensen could be so cold hearted about this one issue.

It's the only problem they've had in their five years as a married couple. Jensen knew right after they got together that Jared could get pregnant and they had discussed it. Jared had said yes, children would be nice to have after awhile. But at first Jensen said we'll see and then after a couple of years that became a definite no and every time the subject came up it became a fight.

As Jared began to settle down he became aware that it was never going to change. His decision was made, he would move on on his own and leave, try and see if he could make a life by his self and maybe eventually he could start over. But first he had to get away from here so he could think straight. He dries his eyes on his sleeve, turns around and goes to pack some of his things.

He heads for the bedroom pulling his luggage out of the closet, clearing out his dresser and his things from the closet and nightstand. He glances at the wedding picture on top of his nightstand, rubbing his fingers across the glass and dropping it on top of his clothes. He desperately loves Jensen but he couldn't deal with the denial of not being allowed to have children anymore. If Jensen didn't want any with him maybe someone would someday.

He takes his things to his truck and sits staring at his dark home, remembering the good times they had there. Giving one last look as he pulls out of the driveway and travels out of the suburbs he's spent the last five years in.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

Jensen pulls into the driveway of the house hoping Jared would be in bed and he could start over in the morning. He had been an ass and he knew it. He would rather keep Jared childless then lose him during pregnancy or childbirth. He knows that men carry kids all the time and live, but who knows if Jared would be one of the hundreds that couldn’t do it safely.

 

He notices that the house is completely dark. Not even the porch light is on. He unlocks the door walking through it and notice the unearthly quiet. He slams the door shut and walks through the house checking every room downstairs before going upstairs.

 

He goes straight to his and Jared’s room opening the door, turning the light on, staring at the half empty closet, the cracked open drawers of the dresser, the missing wedding picture from Jared’s nightstand and letter propped against his picture of them from their honeymoon.

 

He walks over to the stand picking up the letter with shaking hands, sitting down on the bed, sobbing, realizing what he has done and probably never being able to fix his colossal fuck up. Unfolding the note, staring at Jared’s words and breaking into a million pieces knowing he has finally destroyed both of their lives because he couldn’t get over himself.

 

 

Jen,

I’m sorry, but I can’t take this any longer. I love you with my whole heart and I can’t understand how you couldn’t bear for us to share our love of each other with someone that would be the best of us both. I just can’t take this argument anymore and need to think and figure out what’s best for me. I do love you, but I just can’t do it anymore. I needed this for us. A baby would of brought us even closer together. He or she would of magnified our love by hundreds or million’s of times over. But now I see it was never meant for us to share this. I’ll let you know I’m okay and what I’m going to do about us. I still love you, but Jensen I can’t do it anymore.

Love,

    Jared

“Oh, Jay what the fuck have I done?!” Jensen falls to his knees, burying his head in his hands. He cries for what seems like hours until he can cry no more. His eyes hurt, he can’t breathe through his nose and his chest hurts.

 

He pulls his phone from his pocket, calling the one person who would answer, “Chris, I fucked up.” Jensen’s wrecked voice comes over the line when Chris picks up.

 

“What’s going on? Why are you calling me at ass fuck o’clock and what happened?” Chris says gruffly.

 

“Jared left me. We were fighting over the whole kid thing again and I was being an ass, said some shit and took off. When I got back he was gone. I fucked up.” Jensen says close to breaking down again.

 

“Alright, I’ll be there in about thirty minutes. Hold tight.” Chris grunts getting out of bed. “It’ll be okay, Jen. We will figure it out.”

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

Jared drove all night to get to his parents. When they asked what happened he refused to discuss it telling them he would figure it out.

 

“Mom, seriously I’m tired. I need to sleep. I will explain later. I’m going to lie down.” Jared smiles at her, hugging and kissing her cheek.

 

He takes his overnight bag up to his old room, locking the door and flopping down on the bed and passing out immediately.

 

Waking up hours later with dry, sticky eyes and starving, he takes a quick shower, then goes down to face his mother.

 

“Mornin’ momma.” Jared walks into the kitchen.

 

“Afternoon, JT. Are you okay, honey? You still look upset.” Sherry gets up to hug her son.

 

“Yeah, momma. Not so much, but there’s not much I can do about it. I just can’t take it anymore. Jen, just can’t understand how I feel about wanting to have kids. And I don’t understand how he can’t want any. He walked out last night during a fight and I just can’t want this by myself anymore. I just can’t.” Jared cries into his momma shoulder.

 

“Oh, baby. I’m sorry. I thought he would of came around by now. I’m so sorry, honey.” Sherry wipes the tears away from his face, drawing him back into her arms and rubbing his back.

 

“I’ll figure it out. I just need to figure this out. It will be ok.” Jared pulls back from her.

 

“What are you going to do, JT?” Sherry looks at him teary-eyed.

 

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I can’t stay with him if he won’t allow me to have this. I need to do this for me.” Jared looks at his mom with a sad smile.

 

“We’ll get it figured out.” Sherry rubs his cheek.

 

“I know momma.” Jared gets up to get a cup of coffee hanging his head. “I need to call my boss and tell him I quit. I can’t go back and chance seeing him. It hurts. I still love him, but I just can’t do it anymore.” Jared stands at the counter sobbing.

 

Sherry walks over and turns him around and wrapping him up in her arms and slowly rocking him back and forth. She whispers soothing sounds and words to him. Finally being able to settle down he patted his momma on her back and she lets him go.

 

“Are you hungry?” Sherry asks.

 

“Not right now. I’ll eat supper. I’m going to lie back down.” Jared smiles sadly.

 

“If you’re not up I’ll get you up.” Sherry smiles back at him just as sadly.

 

Jared goes up, laying down, and dragging the blanket up over his head and deep breathing, trying not to cry again. He didn’t know what to do about this, but he really had to work it out. He didn’t want to give up Jensen, he still loves him and wanted to be with him, but if he couldn’t want what Jared did and was so hateful about it he just couldn’t do it. He’d need to find a job, get his own place and figure out if they were going to get a divorce. If he could ever afford it. Maybe if he left Jensen alone he’d file first. Jared groaned and rolled over on his stomach. The next thing he knew he was jolted awake with his stomach rolling and needing to throw up now. He bolted out of bed, running to the bathroom and hugging the toilet.

 

Megan comes running into the bathroom. “Jared, are you okay?” Megan gasps. “Mom, Jared’s sick!” She hollers down the stairs.

 

“Sherry comes running up the stairs. “Jared, are you okay?” Sherry says worriedly.

 

“Yeah, just really stressed out.” Jared says to the toilet.

 

“Well come on get up and get yourself together. We’ll get you downstairs and get something light in your stomach. You haven’t ate today.” Sherry shakes her head.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter  4

 

“Jen, Jensen you need to get up!”Chris hollers from the door.

 

“Chris, go away and leave me the fuck alone.” Jensen rolls over and pulls the pillow over his head.

 

“No, you woke me up at 4:30 this morning and I fuckin’ came over here to you freakin ’the fuck out because you didn’t know where Jared was. Now get your ass up so you can make some call to see if you can at least make sure he’s alive.” Chris comes over ripping the blanket off Jensen.

 

“What the fuck, Chris!” Jensen bolts up straight.

 

“Get your dead ass up and get your shit done. I’m not staying to babysit your ass forever. I’ve got my own damn life.” Chris looks down at him.

 

“Okay, go away, I’m getting up.” Jensen groans as he rolls out of bed. He feels like shit. He can’t understand how he messed up so bad and lost Jared. Only if he could of let him have one kid. It’s the only thing he wanted. He loves Jared. He was just afraid he would die and he wouldn’t have him or he would die and the baby would live and he would have a constant reminder of what he had lost.

 

“Get your ass movin’ the coffee’s in the kitchen.” Chris bellows from the hall.

 

“I’m getting.” Jensen mumbles, standing up from the bed looking at his red eyes in the mirror and scrubbing his hand down his face. He stumbles into the kitchen finding Chris sitting at the table with a steaming cup of coffee.

 

“You look like shit, son. Now what are you going to do to make this right, so I don’t have to deal with this shit no more.” Chris says gruffly.

 

“I don’t think I can fix this, like ever. I broke us when I walked out. If I could of not been such a hard ass about letting him have one kid..” Jensen looks at Chris with the tears welling up in his eyes yet again.

 

Chris gets up and grabs Jensen pulling him up into a tight embrace. “Oh, Jen, I don’t know how to help you. Maybe you should call your mom.” Chris tells Jensen.

 

“She doesn’t give a shit Chris. She’ll be happy the gay- love fest is broken. She would pay for the divorce. If he wants one I’m not doing it. He’s mine and he’s going to be just mine.” Jensen whines.

 

“Jen, if he won’t come back and wants the move on you can’t hold him to you. It would destroy you both.” Chris tries to reason with him.

 

“No. He can’t stay gone forever.” Jensen sobs.

 

“Okay, why don’t you calm down and see if you can find him, make some calls.” Chris pats Jensen on the back stepping back from him.

 

“Alright maybe he’ll talk to me.” Jensen shakes his head at Chris.

 

He takes the house phone and calls Chad first, resulting in Chad going off on him about what stupid shit he pulled now and Jensen hanging up. Next he calls Jared’s phone which goes straight to voicemail, he leaves a detailed message. The next call at least lets him know that Jared is alive and at his parents but refuses to talk to him right now. And he will call in a couple days. Sherry tells him to give it a little while. Jensen sobs into the phone how sorry he is and how much he loves Jared and that he wishes he could take the argument back.

 

Sherry tells him that Jared still loves him but just can’t take the arguing about this anymore. She tells him goodbye and that she still loves him even though they aren’t getting along right now. Sherry tells him even if they can’t work it out he will always have her to call upon if he needs to talk.

 

After they hang up Jensen sits and rocks back in forth in the kitchen chair holding his head in his hands not being able to think about anything other than what a shit storm he has made of his life and Jared’s.

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

“JT, you know you’re going to have to talk to him and work something out about your situation with him. You two have been together for seven years Jared and five of them married. There has to be some way for the two of you to come to some kind of agreement so that you can have exactly what you want and he can still have you. Did you ever ask him why he is so dead set on not having children, get down to the real reason why he’s so against it?” Sherry loves Jensen as if he was actually one of her own children it will break her heart as well as the boys hearts if they can’t figure this out. Jensen’s mother and father didn’t take him being in love with Jared to well when he came out to them with the information and the Padalecki’s took him in just like they had took Jared’s sexuality when he told them.

 

“Momma the only thing that happens when we talk about having kids is a fight. No matter how I start the conversation it ends up with us going toe to toe about it again. It doesn’t matter if I reason, beg or breakdown about it it’s a fight. I just can’t fight it anymore.” Jared stares at her wondering if she could pull an answer out of her wonderful bag of knowledge.

 

“I wish I had an easy answer for you JT but I don’t. You need to talk it out. He told me he was sorry and that he wishes he could take the fight back. He loves you Jared.” Sherry gets up from the table and leaves Jared to think about what is going on in his life.

 

“Yeah but why couldn’t he of been sorry before he started all this shit and ran off.” Jared says as his momma walks out of the room.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Megan asks from behind Jared.

 

“Not really Meg. I just need to figure out how I’m going to make this work without him. He just doesn’t want to be a father to a child that would be us. I just wish he would though.” Jared lays his head down in his hand resting on the table.

 

“Well if you need someone to talk to besides mom you can come to me. I’ll listen. Hell maybe I can give you some outside piece of mind. I’m older than I used to be big brother. Wiser.” Megan pats Jared on the back as she leaves him to his thoughts.

 

Jared gets up and goes to his room. Flops down on the bed trying to puzzle out what his next move will be.

 

He decided that he would wait another three days to let things cool down a little bit more before calling Jensen. He had some money set back and would go looking for apartments tomorrow and put some applications in to try and find a job. If he could get those two things out of the way he would be on the way to starting a new life. Jensen hadn’t changed his mind about kids in the last three years and it would be no different if he went back. With those decisions thought out he decided to just go to sleep nothing much else to do right now and this whole situation had him feeling drained.

 

After a fitful night of sleep once again he woke up with an extreme urge to throw up. He thought about what it could be and how after wanting this for so long if he could actually be getting what he wanted most while everything else fell apart. As he thought about it, it made his stomach roll again and he started puking again. As he sat dry heaving into the toilet Megan came into the bathroom getting a washcloth and wetting it laying it across his neck.

 

“You knew you were pregnant before you left didn’t you. That’s why you brought it up again. Were you going to tell him? Is that why you started talking about having kids with him again?” Megan asks Jared as she rubs his back.

 

Sobbing Jared shakes his head. “Yes. I’ve been sick for over a week. I took a test the day before and it was positive. I was going to tell him but he was so angry and then just took off. I can’t put this child through something like that. If he was so against me even getting pregnant what would he be like if he knew I already was.” Jared sits against the wall pulling his legs against his chest, crying and rocking back and forth.

 

“Oh, Jared you will never know unless you find out.” Megan hugs her brother to her chest.

 

“No, he can’t know. Jensen would want me to get rid of it and I will not get rid of this baby. It is the only thing I’ve wanted for so long.” Jared shakes his head violently at Megan’s words. “None of you will say a word to him. I leave and never come back.”

 

“Jared you can’t just take off. And it’s not right for you to keep this from him. Mom said that he was sorry. I think he would be okay with this if you went back and told him you were pregnant and he couldn’t stop you from having this baby.” Megan looks earnestly at her brother trying to get him to see reason.

 

“No I know how he will react. Just like he always does when I bring it up he will be judgmental and hateful like I’m taking something away from him.” Jared shakes his head at Megan.

 

“I think your wrong about this. I think he’ll finally get it if you tell him you’re already pregnant.” Megan stands up from her brother.

 

“Megan you can’t tell him. It’s not your right to tell him.” Jared states.

 

“And it’s not your right to keep it from him either. That baby is as much his as it is yours. I’ll go get mom for you.” Megan leaves Jared sitting on the bathroom floor.

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 

“Jensen. What are you doing? Are you wasted?” Chris walks into the living room that has beer bottles lined up along the coffee table and a fifth of Jack damn near empty.

 

“What would it matter if I was? No one gives a damn anyhow. The only reason you’re here is so I don’t do any stupid shit. But guess what it’s too late. I’m drunk.” Jensen stands from the couch almost falling into all the bottles lined up on the table.

 

“JEN, THIS IS NOT GOING TO SOLVE SHIT!” Chris screams at him as he grabs his arm.

 

“YOU DON’T SCREAM AT ME!” Jensen yells back.

 

“Well, I think you need to give that bottle up and take your drunken ass to bed.” Chris grabs for the bottle.

 

“Get the fuck off. You don’t know shit.” Jensen sneers at Chris.

 

“I don’t know shit. Who the fuck listened to you when everybody else walked out on you, Jensen, can you tell me that? Who the fuck has sat and listened to you cut yourself down when your parents told you that the “fag” didn’t need to come to them when nobody wanted him anymore. ME, JENSEN! Not anyone else. I have been with you since before you even told them, before you fell in love with Jared, and before you went fuckin’ stupid.” Chris grabs the bottle while he has Jensen distracted with his words. “Now take your ass to bed. Your done for tonight.”

 

Chris watches him stagger up the stairs not even attempting to follow him because he might just have to kill him to put him out of his misery. Chris waits ten minutes to make sure he’s out and goes to check on him. Jensen is laying flat on his back, snoring and Chris rolls him over on his side and piles the pillows behind him to make sure he stays that way. He goes back downstairs and calls Steve.

 

“Hey, how is it going?” Steve asks Chris.

 

“I don’t know. I think I might have to kill him myself.” Chris huffs into the phone.

 

“That bad, huh. You’ve known him the longest you’ll figure it out. I have all the confidence in you” Steve says with affection.

 

“I don’t know about this time, man. It’s bad. He finished off a twelve back and almost a whole bottle of Jack. He more screwed up this time than with his parents.” Chris tells Steve.

 

“Do you need me to come over and hash it out?” Steve offers.

 

“No. I’ll figure this out. I always do.” Chris says. “He knows it’s not going to make it any better, but he also doesn’t know how to fix it, if it can be fixed at that.”

 

“Well maybe you just need to get him to think about other shit.” Steve replies.

 

“Like what?” Chris retorts.

 

“I don’t know. Get him to come out with us for a couple of shows.” Steve says.

 

“I don’t think that would do any good. He’d be all emo and shit and still not get any better.” Chris snorts.

 

“Well, it always gets worse before it gets better. You know that right.” Steve tuts.

 

 “Yeah, you’re just a ray of sunshine now aren’t you? I’m just going to go to bed and see what the morning brings if he makes it. I love you, you know that right.” Chris asks.

 

“Yeah, I love you, too. But try not to kill him I won’t get to pay you a visit in prison and take care of you.” Steve laughs at Chris.

 

“Ha ha, very funny. I’m going to bed.” Chris hangs up his phone.

 

When Chris gets up the next morning Jensen is still asleep. He takes a glass of water and aspirin and sets them down on the nightstand and goes down to make something to eat. After he’s done eating and sitting reading the paper he hears Jensen making the customary run for the bathroom. About fifteen minutes later he comes downstairs.

 

“Ah, Chris… I’m sorry about last night. I felt like I needed to just loose myself somehow. But I guess that wasn’t the best way to do it.” Jensen looks at Chris with sad eyes.

 

“Dude, if you ever do that again I’m out of here. You will deal with this shit all by yourself. I have Steve waiting for me at home. And he don’t give me no shit, ever.” Chris smiles at Jensen.

 

Jensen looks down sheepishly at the floor. “I kind of lost it last night. I think my marriage is over. I’ve lost him. He still hasn’t called me. I think…I don’t even know what to think.” Jensen looks at Chris through his eyelashes blinking back tears.

 

“Man, it’s not like it’s over yet. He’ll call and maybe you guys can work it out.” Chris tries to be reassuring.

 

“I don’t know Chris.” Jensen shakes his head.

 

“You’ll figure this out, even if it is over.” Chris gets up, patting Jensen on the shoulder and leaving the room.

 

Jensen gets up and gets a cup of coffee. And damn near breaks his neck when the phone starts ringing. It’s Jared number.

 

“Jared.”

“Yeah it’s me. Um, Jen I don’t think I’m going to come back. We’ve fought about this for three years and nothing has changed. I can’t mentally or physically take it anymore. It’s killing me. I’m sorry.” Jared apologizes.

 

“Jared, no don’t say that. I’m willing to discuss this. We can work something out. Please Jared don’t do this. Please.” Jensen begs.

 

“Jensen, we’ve argued about this until you walked out and I made my decision I can’t fight any longer. It’s not healthy for you or me to keep doing it. I’ll see what I can do about getting separation papers started and go from there. I’m sorry. I love you; I’ll talk to you later.” Jared hangs up before Jensen can say anything else.

 

“NO!” Jensen screams and throws the phone at the wall as hard as he could.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 

“JT what did you just do? Don’t tell me you are going to leave this like that. It’s wrong. You cannot keep this from him. He has all the right to know that you are carrying his child rather or not he wants it or not, Jared.” Sherry catches the tail end of the conversation.

 

“What about the baby mom? Should the baby be made to feel all the emotions I go through when I have this fight with him over and over? Should the baby be made to deal with the animosity that I feel whenever we discuss children?” Jared glares at his mom.

 

“Jared, that baby cannot tell whether you’re talking about the weather or what you ate last night. How far along are you that you think that it can feel those things already?” Sherry is livid that Jared is making this decision without actually talking to Jensen and telling him everything first.

 

“Momma, don’t take this out on me. He’s the one that always says it’s the wrong thing for us. I can’t do this right now.” Jared gets up and leaves his mom gapping at his back as he walks out the door.

 

“Mom, he isn’t thinking right. He’s going about this all wrong. Jensen deserves to know about this child. He told me last night that I have no right to give this information to Jensen. I won’t tell but someone needs to get this out of Jared’s head if he thinks I’m going to be okay with keeping this from Jensen. You know I’m right mom.” Megan is seeing red as she talks to their mom.

 

“I know Meg. I’m trying. I don’t want to push him away. You know he’ll run.” Sherry looks at her daughter pleading.

 

“I know. He already told me that. But mom he can’t do this it’s wrong.” Megan states angrily.

 

“I know Megan. I’m going to talk to your dad tonight. See if he can try and see if he can work something out with him.” Sherry is at the end of her rope not knowing what else to do.

 

Jared left the house getting in his truck driving to the park he used to play in as a kid. It hasn’t changed much. A new swing set and slide. But it still has the same benches from his youth the one sitting close to the woods. He walks over to it; it’s out of the way and slightly hidden. He gets out his phone and calls Chad.

 

“Jared. What the hell is going on with you and your knuckle-headed husband? He called me wanting to know if I knew where you were.” Chad starts before Jared can even say hi.

 

“Well, hi to you Chad. Well long story short I’m pregnant and I left Jensen.” Jared says flatly.

 

“You, what! Does he even know?” Chad says dumbfounded.

 

“No, after I left your house the other day I tried to tell him and we started fighting about having kids again, said some mean shit and he left. So I pack some of my shit and left too. I’m at my parents.” Jared says coldly.

 

“Jared, I know you. You don’t want to do this alone. You love him; tell him he’ll get over this.” Chad tells his best friend.

 

“No he won’t. It will be the same as always. We will fight he’ll get mad, I’ll get upset and he will end up sleeping on the couch. I know how he is about this whole kid thing. It’s all rinse and repeat on this subject. I’m not getting rid of this baby.” Jared is done crying over this.

 

“Jared, you’re not thinking this through dude. You can’t just leave him. Not over this. You need to tell him.” Chad knows how it will be if Jared goes about it this way.

 

“Why does everyone keep saying that? He’s the one so dead set on not having this with me. Not the other way around. I’ve wanted this for three years. Now I have it and I’m not losing it.” Jared almost screams into the phone.

 

“I’m not saying that. All I’m saying is I know what it will do to him if he finds out after the fact. I know what I’d feel like if Marybeth had done something like that to me.” Chad tried to reason with Jared.

 

“I’ll think about it. But I probably won’t tell him.” Jared states matter of factly.

 

“Alright but this ain’t going to be pretty when he finds out.” Chad quips.

 

“That’s why everyone is going to keep their damn mouths shut and not talk about it.” Jared states.

 

“Jared that’s not good.” Chad says.

 

“It will be fine. Hey, I’ll talk to you later. I got something to hash out with my family.” Jared tells Chad.

 

“Just think about what I said, Jared. Use that head of yours for something besides to grow hair.” Chad tries to lighten the conversation. “I’ll talk to you later, bye”

 

“Bye, Chad.” Jared hangs up the phone and goes back to his truck heading back to his parents house. When he gets home he calls Jeff and asks him to come over without Jane and the kids. He says he will but has to talk to his wife and explain first.

 

After supper Jared asks everyone to meet him in the living room so they can discuss his situation. “Okay, I know you have all discussed what has happened within the last few days with each other and I feel you should understand my point on this. Just let me get this off my chest and then I will listen to anything you have to say, but I doubt it will change my mind.

 

“When Jensen and I got together we had discussions about having kids. He was always stand-offish about the whole subject. It went from we will see and then to no. Then the fights every time I even breached the topic.

 

“So I decided to take it into my own hands, I stopped taking my birth control about two months ago. I did this on purpose.” Jared stops for a minute after the gasps from his family holding his hand up to stop their outbursts.

 

“Now I thought I would be able to just pop out the subject of feeling sick and we would go to the doctor and the both of us would be surprised when the doctor told us that I was pregnant. But I started to tell Jen the other night about how Chelsey, Chad youngest, had started walking and then I asked him how he would feel if we ever had a kid and we sat and watched his or her firsts and he just lost his shit. Saying how every time I saw you guys or visited Chad and his ‘damn 50 kids’ I always start on him about having kids. He just went off and then stormed out. That’s why I can’t tell him about this child. And he doesn’t even know yet and he’s going ape shit about it. I can’t do it.” Jared looks each and every one of his family in the eye after the last statement.

 

“Jared don’t you think you should give him a chance to redeem himself. Maybe there is a reason that he feels this way. You know how his family treats him since he’s came out to them.” Sherry looks heart broken when she brings up Jensen’s family.

 

“Momma I have tried for years to get him to talk about that. It’s a brick wall. Nice and cemented shut. I know I went about this the wrong way but I can’t not have this. With or without him I’m having this baby.” Jared smiles sadly at his momma.

 

“Jared, you tricked him into this and then after it actually happens you don’t let him in on the plan and then don’t tell him the outcome. He didn’t even know you stopped taking your birth control. Was all that you were doing when you got here just a ploy for us to feel sorry for you and make us…” Megan stops only because she is interrupted by her dad.

 

“Enough, Megan.” Gerry bellows at his youngest. “This is not for you to judge.”

 

“Dad this is wrong.” Megan glares at her brother and father.

 

“But he will have to deal with making this bed.” Gerry says.

 

“But he wants us to lie for him about it all. I will keep my mouth shut and I’ll love the kid but this is wrong and I’ll keep saying it.” Megan walks out of the room.

 

“Jared how can you do this?” Jeff asks his brother.

 

“I thought it would go differently.” Jared says honestly.

 

“Jared you need to think about this more before you just walk away from him” Sherry tries one more time. “I’ll support the pregnancy but this decision is wrong.”


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 

Chris rushes into the kitchen as Jensen screams. “What the hell, son.” Chris is startled as the phone barely misses him.

 

“He called he’s not coming back and wants a separation. What the fuck Chris he won’t even talk about it.” Jensen cries out.

 

“I think we should make a trip to the Padalecki home and do a little face to face talkin’ to this boy and get this hashed out.” Chris walks over to Jensen kneeling down in front of him. “Get his ass to see the light.”

 

“No I don’t think it will do any good. He sounded so distant; like it doesn’t matter anymore.” Jensen wipes the tears from his face.

 

“Jensen you can’t give up on this. Go down there and make him see sense.” Chris pleads.

 

Jensen looks at Chris sadly.

 

“Well the only thing we can do is try. Go pack a bag we leave when you’re done. We can stop and pick up Steve in case it goes south.” Chris says.

 

“It won’t come to that. I’ll leave first. His parents have been really good to me Chris. I can’t do that to them.” Jensen looks at Chris with a tear streaked face.

 

“Come on Jen get up and go pack some things while I call Steve.” Chris walks into the living room to call his boyfriend.

 

Jensen gets up slowly and goes to the bedroom to get a few things to take to his in-laws. He will have to move out of this house if Jared doesn’t come home. He wouldn’t be able to stand living here.

 

“I’m ready when you are Chris. I just think this is a wasted trip though.” Jensen says miserably.

 

“We have to try something Jensen. Maybe we can get him to see reason or at least talk to you about why he doesn’t want to try and talk this out.” Chris looks up from the couch.

 

“I already know why he’s not coming back. Me.” Jensen whimpers.

 

“Even if that is his reason he needs to talk to you.” Chris gets up and moves towards the door.

 

Jensen follows Chris to his truck and climbs into the back not feeling like having any more conversations about his shitty place in life. The drive is quiet and almost deafening in the silence. The radio playing turned down low. By the time Chris reaches his house Jensen is asleep. He’s pale and restless but he’s out.

 

“Shit he doesn’t look to good.” Steve says as he climbs in the front seat.

 

“He’s taking this shit hard and Jared ain’t pulling any punches. He is not coming back and Jen has basically given up. Shit I don’t think he’s ate in like three days. But he sure consumed enough alcohol last night to seriously kill someone.” Chris groans.

 

“Are we stopping on the way down or going straight through?” Steve asks.

 

“No we will probably stop. I don’t want him stuck in here and then having to face him unless he’s slept in an actual bed. But we all bunking together I do not want to leave him by his self.” Chris states.

 

Steve nods his head but stays quiet. He sits back after taking another look at Jensen. “You know he probably won’t recover from this. Jared was it for him. He came out to his family and lost them because of Jared. You know how he never let Jared in on those meltdowns he always came to you because you have known way before Jared even happened that he was gay.” Steve remembers those long nights before Jen and Jay became the hot item in town.

 

“Yeah Steve I remember. Those where some hard nights trying to get him through that and now for this to happen. You know the reason behind the no kid thing was because of his family right. That they said that any child that they had would be an abomination and Jared would die and Jensen would be punished for it by Jared’s death and possibly the kid, too.” Chris looks over at Steve real quick before looking back at the road.

 

“Shit was it that bad? I didn’t realize it ever got that bad.” Steve mumbles.

 

“Yeah, you know he almost said fuck it there for a while and was going to go back and say him and Jared broke up so that they would get off his back. And on top of all that he never said a damn word to Jared about it. Just sat there and argued with him about kids. Before Jared and his parents shit he wanted to have kids.” Chris looks in the rearview mirror to meet sorrowful green eyes. “Jen I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry about it Chris. My life sucks now so everybody should know about how fucked up I am.” Jensen rolls his head to push up against the glass of the window.

 

They all fall silent at that point. Chris because he doesn’t know what to say, Steve thinking about his own family and how they really don’t care as long as him and Chris gets along. Jensen just sits and wallows in his sorrow.

 

Chris stops an hour out from reaching San Antonio so they can get a room and settling in for the night in the same room for Jensen’s ‘safety’. Laying in bed listening to his weary best friend crying softly to himself until he runs out of tears or just drops off into sleep. Next thing he knows its morning and its bright coming in the curtains.

 

“Jensen come on get up so we can eat and get over there so we can see what’s going on.” Chris shakes him awake.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

 

“Chris, I don’t think I can do this.” Jensen looks out through the front window of truck. He is conflicted between going in and seeing Jared probably for the last time or just letting everything set as it is.

 

“Jensen the only way you’re going to get any closure with any of this is if you talk to him. But you have to know it’s not going to be any easier later if you don’t talk about what’s going on here.” Chris looks back at him.

 

“Damn it. All right come on.” Jensen says opening his door.

 

Jensen walks slowly up to the front door and knocks. Holding his breath waiting to see who would open it up. When it opened he was bombarded with an arm full of Megan.

 

“Oh, Jensen. I don’t understand you two. I wish you guys could figure this out and stay together.” Megan says teary eyed.

 

“Megan what are you so upset about? It just something that we can’t get through, can’t see eye to eye about. I wish he would let me try though. But I think I just screwed up for the last time.” Jensen says to her quietly.

 

“Jensen it’s just not you he’s not thinking right. He got a problem right now and he not using his head.” Megan pleads.

 

“Megan who is it?” Sherry asks coming down the hall. “Oh Jensen I didn’t know you where coming?”

 

“Sherry. I just wanted to talk to Jared one last time if this is it. See if there is anything we can work out before we call it quits.” Jensen raises his eyes up to look into Sherry’s eyes.

 

“Jensen, honey.” Sherry pushes past Megan to get to her son-in-law pulling him into her arms. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. Just give him a little bit of time maybe it will work it’s self out.”

 

“What are you guys…Jensen what are you doing here?” Jared looks at Jensen over his mother’s shoulder.

 

“I came to talk to you. Well Chris made me come. He said that we needed to talk about this before we just give up.” Jensen looks forlornly at Jared.

 

Clearing his throat before he talks, “Yeah, sure. Come on let’s go out back.”

 

“Jared.” Sherry looks at her son.

 

“It will be fine mom.” Jared glares at her.

 

“It had better be.” Sherry looks at him.

 

Jared follows Jensen into the kitchen and out the back door. “So I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry that I can’t do this fighting over wanting kids anymore Jen. I want to be happy with you and have a family but I guess that’s not going to happen because you don’t want that.”

 

“Jared can’t we talk about this with someone and try and work out something so we could both be happy about this. I have some issues I’ve never talk to you about and I have keep them bottled up for so long that they have became a big thorn in our sides and made things happen that we should of never had to deal with. I’m willing to work on them if you just give me a chance, Jared, please.” Jensen pleads with Jared as the tears streak his face.

 

“Jensen I’ve tried for three years and it has been the same thing over and over. Nothing has changed other than I can’t fight anymore.” Jared shakes his head at a Jensen.

 

“So there can’t even be one more chance. You won’t even try to go see someone about my issues and try. Not even so we can stay as a couple. That is all I’m asking is one more chance. Jared we have had seven years of being together and you’re going to throw our lives away even when I’m asking you to try one more time, please.” Jensen sobs.

 

“Jen, I love you and I can’t do this anymore. I have been trying to get you to talk to me about kids forever and it’s always the same you fight and then we both get upset and then you sleep on the couch. The next day you act like everything is just fine. You just don’t realize that this fight has been something that would destroy us. And it finally has.” Jared stares at Jensen as if nothing is wrong. That this is a normal everyday discussion about anything normal except it’s not. It’s the death of them.

 

“Jared this is not how this is supposed to end. We were supposed to grow old together and die of old age or something, not this. I love you, Jared. Don’t do this.” Jensen tries once again.

 

“Jen, just let’s wait and see, okay. But I’m not coming home right now. I can’t. I need to clear my head. Just go home and I’ll see how I feel in awhile.” Jared has tears in his eye the first sign of showing any emotion at all.

 

“Jared please.” Jensen cries out.

 

Jared walks back into the house leaving Jensen to stare at his retreating form.

“Jen, come on let’s go.” Chris walks up to him grabbing him by the arm to guide him back to the truck so they could get the hell out of there.

 

“Chris he won’t even try.” Jensen buries his head in his friends shoulder when he stops and wraps his arms around him. Sherry and Megan come out to join them after asking Jared what the hell he had just done. Sherry doesn’t understand what the hell is going through Jared head to totally drop this marriage like it doesn’t mean anything at all.

 

“Jensen baby I will try to get him to talk to me. I’ll work at him I will. This is so wrong. If you need me just call. I might be his mother but I love you like you are one of my own. I just don’t get him right now either. I love you Jensen.” Sherry kisses him on the cheek.

 

“Jensen you need anything call me. If you want I can come up and stay with you if you want. I can’t stand my brother right now.” Megan rubs his back looking at him.

 

“No Meg you stay here. You’re his sister.” Jensen shakes his head at her offer.

 

“I don’t give a shit he’s being an ass.” Megan huffs.

 

“No I’m going home. I’ll make it. I have before.” Jensen wipes his face off.

 

“Come on Jen let’s get out of here.” Chris grabs his arm again.

 

“Bye Sherry, Megan.” Jensen looks at the ground as he walks out the side gate.

 

After they leave Jared comes back downstairs, face tear streaked. “What did you guys say to him?” Jared asks his mom and sister.

 

“That we loved him and that we are here for him. You’re wrong Jared. He’s willing to give it another chance. And you just basically tell him to just go home and deal with it on his own. Damn you Jared this will destroy him.” Sherry looks at her son in disgust.

 

“Mom it’s been him for the last three years fighting me on this. He has stopped any conversation that has ever started by going out of his way to turn it into a fight. Now I have a child on the way and he can’t stop it with a fight.” Jared looks from his mom to his sister.

 

“Jared he is ready to talk this out with you. He wants you to come home and start over again. He loves you. He gave up his family for you. You know they treat him like shit because he married you. Now you’re throwing him away for your own selfishness instead of talking to him about this. Your being a bastard.” Megan walks away from her brother. “Mom I’ll be back later.”

 

“Megan, where are you going?” Sherry asks.

 

“OUT! Away from HIM.” Megan calls back over her shoulder.

 

“Mom let her go. I’ll leave. I’m going to go find an apartment today and put some applications in. I need a job. But just know I can do what I want with this situation.” Jared says with no real feeling.

 

“Jared, you can’t possible think we are going to be okay with this. I won’t tell Jensen but know if he straight asks me and he’s right I won’t deny it. I will support this pregnancy but I won’t support your decisions.” Sherry sternly tells Jared.

 

“I’ll be out by tonight.” Jared turns around and walks back into the house.

 

“Damn that boy.” Sherry fumes.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 

“Chris, take me home.” Jensen asks between sobs.

 

“We will get through this Jen. We made it through everything your parents have put you through.” Chris says confidently.

 

“Yeah and look where that got me alone with a busted marriage and a man who thinks I don’t want something that I would of given my life for seven years ago before I gave him everything. Fuck my parents were right.” Jensen laughs hysterically.

 

“Okay let’s go home and get you settled down and go from there.” Chris is at a loss about what to actually do.

 

“I’m not a little kid ‘that needs settling in’ Chris. I’m a grown man with no life now.” Jensen says.

 

“All right man. Just keep it cool. We’ll go home and I don’t know.” Chris is stuck.

 

“Yeah that makes me feel better. You don’t even know what to do about this I’ve finally broke you too.” Jensen smirks.

 

“Not broke just dumbfounded. How fuckin’ stupid can he be? Because you just laid yourself out on a silver platter to him so he can find out what has kept you from going ahead and just giving him a kid and he walks away. Whatever.” Chris shakes his head.

 

“Maybe Megan is right. Maybe he is unstable. You are his husband you can get him committed for an evaluation.” Steve says frankly.

 

“No I’m not committing him. If any of us needs committed it would be me. All of this because I can’t get over some stupid shit my mom and dad implanted in my head. Fuck.” Jensen bangs his head against the window.

 

“Hey on the bright side you’re not cryin’ anymore.” Steve comments cheerily.

 

“Shut up, Steve.” Chris and Jensen say in unison.

 

“I’m just sayin’.” Steve quips.

 

“You’re not helping.” Chris looks at him.

 

“Alright I’m shutting up.” Steve looks out the window.

 

“When we get home I want to spend some time alone. And before you start I’m not going to do anything stupid. I just want to think about this by myself. Hopefully get some clear insight.” Jensen admonishes.

 

“You know I’m going to be thinking you are doing something stupid if I’m not there. I know how you spend your thinking time when you’re alone.” Chris looks at him via the rearview mirror.

 

“Chris I am a grown man and I can be alone all on my lonesome. You can drag me to one of your gigs in a couple of days. Just let me wallow for a night and see if I can come out on the other side.” Jensen defends himself.

 

“I don’t know Jensen. I’ve seen you wallow before it always turns out bad.” Chris interjects.

 

“Chris I need to think, my husband just left me and you being there will only hinder my wallowing with your questions about me being okay.”

 

“One night and one night only then I’m coming to get you and your singing with me on stage and you will like it.” Chris amends.

 

“Alright, Chris I understand you’re worried. But I will be fine. I’ll call if it becomes too much.” Jensen tries to make Chris feel better.

 

The drive back to Houston is quiet with each of them lost in their own minds. Chris and Steve drop Jensen off at his house and go back to their own.

“Do you think he’s going to be okay?” Steve looks over at Chris.

 

“I don’t know but I’ll be on damage control tomorrow and then he’s bringing his ass out with us and he will be okay whether he likes it or not.” Chris looks back at him

 

“Yeah, if you say so.” Steve smirks.

 

“You have been snarky ever since we started out this morning what the hell is wrong with you?” Chris asks.

 

“I don’t know maybe I don’t think you should clean but Jared’s mess. I think Jensen should jump all over his shit and make him spill the beans. I think there is something else going on besides a fight about having a kid.” Steve makes his uninformed impression of the problem at hand.

 

“Maybe your right but we will never know if Jared takes off. We need to let this settle and see where it goes from here.” Chris replies.

 

“Come on let’s head home. I’ve been lonely for a couple days now and I think you should take care of it for me.” Steve smiles slyly at Chris.

 

“You have just missed my body not me.” Chris rolls his eyes.

 

“No I’ve missed more than your body.” Steve winks at Chris.

 

“Alright home it is.” Chris pulls out of the driveway.

 

Not ten minutes after Chris and Steve leave Jensen at home he is headed out the door to the bar. He knows that he told Chris he wouldn’t do anything stupid but he’s not planning on being stupid he just wants to get lost for the night. If the liquor can stop his brain and he can unwind he will feel better. Deep down he knows it’s a lie but at least he’s lying to himself not anyone else.

 

After driving to the bar and damn near drinking himself into the bottle of Jack he wobbles back to his car and sits with his head leaning against the steering wheel trying to decide if he can drive home. Against better judgment that he doesn’t have right at the moment he makes it home in one piece but that says nothing for the garage door he takes out when he got home.

 

Stumbling into the house cussing up a storm about the stupid garage being in the way of his front end he flops down on the couch and passes out.

 

Waking up the next morning with Chris hovering over him he realizes that he’s in for a shit storm because he lied to him. Chris is scowling so hard at him he had nothing other to do than look away. “Save it Chris. I know I lied but I didn’t kill myself. You should be proud.”

 

“Damn it Jensen. I knew I should have stayed here last night. You could have stayed at home and got fucking drunk. What would of happened if you did kill yourself what then? No don’t answer that I don’t want to know.” Chris shakes his head.

 

“No harm, no foul.” Jensen says nonchalantly.

 

“What the fuck am I going to do with you?. He is not worth you ending your life. If he doesn’t want you, you need to move right along with your life go back to work, make your money and move on.” Chris says sternly.

 

“You know what I think your right I’ll just take the shit storm my life is and just go be happy that it is in a ram shackled pile of shit. And believe you me that’s exactly what it is.” Jensen is beyond pissed at Chris’s suggestions.

 

“Well lying around getting drunk and driving your car through your house isn’t going to solve the problem that you have at hand now is it?” Chris wonders how he will get Jensen out of this disaster he walked into this morning.

 

“You know what you need to leave me be your always stickin’ your nose in my business and I’m tired of it.” Jensen sits up and grabs his head because it wants to go live somewhere else right now.

 

“Son don’t even. Your ass called me the other day havin’ a fit. I dropped what I was doing even though it was only sleepin’ at 4:30 in the **morning.** And I have been here since except for two times and both of those resulted in you getting shit faced. Maybe Steve is right maybe you should just go off the deep end and tear him a new one. Maybe if you hit him you can work off some of this funk.” Chris gives the suggestion his boyfriend offered.

 

“So not only do I lose my husband but go to jail for beating the shit out of him, awesome idea.” Jensen quips right back.

 

“You’re lucky I don’t beat the shit out of both of you.” Chris glares back at him.

 

“GO AWAY, CHRIS.” Jensen raises his voice then groans.

 

“No you called I’m here deal with it.” Chris retorts.

 

Jensen gets off the couch heading to the kitchen for aspirin, water and coffee with Chris close behind him.

 

“I don’t even know why we are friends, you ass.” Jensen looks down into his glass of water.

 

“Because you love me and you would have killed yourself a long time ago if it wasn’t for me. And don’t call me an ass, you jackass.” Chris says, saying stubborn fucker under his breath.

 

“If I’m the stubborn fucker why are you still here?” Jensen replies back.

 

“I don’t know maybe because I am a good friend and we’ve known each other forever.” Chris looks at him side long.

“Damn it Chris why can’t you just leave me alone.” Jensen slumps down in a chair.

 

“Because sometimes friends are better than your family and you’re more like a brother than anybody else I have.” Chris walks over and wraps Jensen up in a tight embrace. “We will make it out of this we always do.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 

“Jared how can you be so cold about this. Did you not see how much he loves you and then to just walk away from him. I know that you are upset but how do you know he won’t accept the baby unless you tell him about it. He’s willing to go to counseling with you so he can get over whatever is bothering him.” Megan stands in the kitchen with Jared.

 

“Megan have you even had a fight with the person you love before and I’m not talking about some stupid little tiff about what restaurant to go to or what movie to see. I’m talking about an all out screaming match that gets neither one of you anywhere except in separate rooms. He walked out on me and didn’t come back until after I had already left. I can’t live that way anymore. But you don’t understand and no one ever will.” Jared turns and leaves Megan standing mouth agape and horrified with her brother.

 

“Megan you need to let him alone for just a little while.” Sherry walks in and wraps Megan up in her arms.

 

“Mom you have no idea what I want to do to him right now. I love my brother but I can’t stand him. Jensen gave up everything for him and now he won’t even talk to him.” Megan groans.

 

“I know baby girl. We will just have to be there for both of them without crossing to many lines between either one of them. Keep Jared’s secret and show Jensen that he won’t lose us as well.” Sherry tries to reassure her daughter that everyone involved will be looked after.

 

“Do you know how hard it is going to be to keep something this big away from him when we see him? It is going to be like a national secret but not with as many guards.” Megan rubs her forehead.

 

“I know but if we want to be able to keep an eye on the whole thing we have to go with what Jared wants.” Sherry contests.

 

“This is so wrong.” Megan whines, walking out of the room.

 

“Sherry.” Gerry says walking into the kitchen.

 

“That stubborn ass of a son of yours. I wish we could get him to just open up to Jensen. We will have to stretch our pooled resources to make sure he’s okay, Gerry because you know what he lost when he got with Jared and told his family.” Sherry buries her face in her husband shoulder.

 

“I know but maybe we need to look at it from Jared point, too. He has been fighting for this for three years hell probably longer.” Gerry replies.

 

“You were not here yesterday when Jensen was here. He wanted to try counseling for them and make it work. Jared was cold and distant with him and then just walked away. There is something that we don’t know and probably will never figure out.” Sherry steps away from her husband to look out the window.

 

“I can try and see if I can find out anything. Don’t know if it will do any good.” Gerry suggests.

 

“Yeah, maybe because I’m not getting shit.” Sherry swears.

 

“Alright let me go see what I can do.” Gerry heads up the stairs to his middle child.

 

Walking up the stairs and standing at Jared door listening to his son’s sobs, he knows that he is hurting just as well as Jensen and the rest of the family. “Jared, can I come in?” Gerry asks as he knocks.

 

“Dad what did they send you to badger me, too?” Jared says opening the door wiping his eyes.

 

“Nope just came to see if I could do my part. See if maybe you can talk to me since you can’t seem to talk to anyone else.” Gerry pats his son on the arm.

 

“Dad nobody can see that I’m doing this for the both of us. We would both be miserable if I stayed and then Jensen would hate me for tying him to a kid he never wanted. He can never talk about kids without having a blow up. He just can’t be happy about this if I told him.” Jared tries to plead his side.

 

“Jay, you will never know how he feels about this unless you tell him. When me and your mom found out about Jeff we had just got married, started jobs and bought the house. We were not ready to start having kids but you have a brother and a sister. We dealt with it a day at a time and you three are grown. A little hard to get rid of you know though.” Gerry gives a small laugh. “What I’m trying to say is that you need to work as a couple to make plans for your futures. This little bump in the road has turn in to Mt. Saint Helena, because you won’t talk to him about it. Hell I would walk up to him and say ‘I’m Pregnant’ what do you think about that. Do a shock and aw on him and see where the conversation goes from that point. But I’m just your old man so what do I know.” Gerry looks Jared straight in the eyes trying to see if any of the conversation has sunk in.

 

“Dad but Jensen has been so adamant about this whole subject. It’s like he can’t see past the blinders he has on.” Jared tells his dad.

 

“Well maybe if you tell him it will knock them off.” Gerry tries for a line in the same context.

 

“Or he’ll try and knock me out.” Jared replies.

 

“I don’t think so Jared. He loves you, that’s why he walked away the other day. I know it. You two have been together for seven years and you guys have never hit each other don’t think this will start a fist fight. He would probably be struck dumb but he would get used to it. You’re cutting him short.” Gerry stands up to leave Jared think about what he just said. “Think about it, Jay. I bet I’m right.”

 

“Hey tell mom I’m going apartment hunting, she’s not too happy with me right now.” Jared asks his dad.

 

“Alright Jared but none of us are too happy with you right now. Some of us just know how to keep a lid on it.” Gerry says shutting Jared’s door.

 

Jared gets up making sure he has his wallet and keys wanting to leave the house and not come back until he finds a new place to stay. The stress of leaving Jensen and telling his parents he planned to get pregnant then drop the bomb shell on Jensen at the doctor’s didn’t turn out as planned and it’s getting to him. Now not only is Jensen so upset that he’s pleading for Jared to give him another chance; his family is looking down on him. Not his best thought out plan.

 

He picks up a paper and looks for jobs and apartments. There is a simple flat that has an open floor plan with one bedroom he could turn into a nursery which could work and three jobs in management. The one at the Hilton seemed more promising with more benefits and chance to advance.

 

The landlord for the flat will let him move in today, but it is unfurnished, just having the basics in it. He can do without furniture until his first paycheck maybe his mom will let him have his bed. The bedroom is actually big enough to suit a bed and the baby’s stuff when he gets it. Just means they will be sharing for a while and hoping he can eventually afford a two bedroom somehow.

 

The Hilton was nice. They were desperate and did his interview right after he filled out his application. The position wasn’t what he was looking for but he explained that he was just coming out of a five year marriage and pregnant needing benefits and a job. He took it starting the next day working at the front desk. Hey not upper management but he had a foot in the door. He was hopeful that it would lead to higher options in a short time. Maybe even a city transfer just to put some more space between everyone. Let the air settle some so it wasn’t as charged with drama.

 

He left with three uniforms and a name tag. Becky, HR head, informing him he needed to be back tomorrow at 7 o’clock sharp for his orientation. Coffee and donuts served. Jared thanks her and said he would see her tomorrow. The day might not be as bad as it started out as. Still he went home with a heavy heart knowing that everyone was upset with his decisions. He just couldn’t let this slip out of his hands.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 

Jared gets up rolling out of bed; he’s been living in the flat for three months and still is disoriented when he wakes in the morning. Wondering where he is; he thinks the feeling might go away by the time the baby is born. Thinking of the baby gives him a happy feeling but also some sadness. He hasn’t talked to Jensen in about two and a half months. The last conversation ended in Jensen slamming the phone down and refusing to answer when Jared called back. The anger that Jensen feels is justified but Jared can’t go see him now he’s starting to show not by much just a small bump. In about two weeks he has his first ultrasound. Just to check to make sure everything looks ok. He is very excited.

His job is going well but no sign of advancement yet. He is just hoping that a he can get into a better position before the baby is born so he would have some extra money before he or she gets here. He has been able to make some friends from work there is George in maintenance, Carrie from housekeeping and Fred the doorman that has seen many people work at the hotel and leave the hotel. They have drinks before work and spend their day chatting when the workload permits. Jared talks to Chad at times and his parents. The way they feel about the ‘situation’ hasn’t changed. Jensen has been down to talk to his mom on a couple of occasions, but Sherry had phoned Jared to make sure he knew Jensen would be around. Making himself nonexistent while Jensen is in town. Megan still won’t talk to him about anything but she asks about the baby and the pregnancy, but usually leaves shortly after he shows up.

 

Jared has the day off for his ultrasound appointment. And as usual is going by himself. Everyone always looks at him funny in the office when he walks in but the staff is really nice.

 

“Hey, Sara.” Jared says with a smile.

 

“Hi, Jared how’s the daddy to be today?” Sara asks him.

 

“I’m good nervous and excited.” Jared beams a smile at her.

 

“Well have a seat someone will be out to get you in a little bit.” Sara hands back his medical insurance cards.

 

Jared sits looking at the magazines on the table, picking up a copy of _American Baby._ He’s hoping that the baby will be far enough along that they can maybe see what it might be. He had been pregnant for about a month without knowing it before he left Jensen. So he’s a little over four months now. Morning sickness is gone and the weird cravings are starting. Eggs and pickles might sound gross but don’t knock it until you try it he told Carrie the other day.

 

“Jared Padalecki.” The nurse at the door says. Jared gets up and walks over. He doesn’t recognize her must be new.

 

“Ok, Jared let’s get a weight and then you can pee in this little cup.” She smiles at him.

 

“My favorite part. I don’t see how women do that. I think it might be near impossible.” Jared replies.

 

“Hey at least you have an advantage over us girls. You can see where it’s going. We have to guess and pee on our hand.” She says the last part quietly and laughs.

 

Jared laughs with her. “Yeah I see that as an advantage. Until it comes time to have this baby then I think the female anatomy is better equipped.” Jared replies.

 

“Oh it’s not that bad. Your body will adapt to that when the time comes.” The nurse says.

 

“What is your name? This is the first time I’ve meet you.” Jared asks.

“Jessica. It’s nice to meet you, Jared.” She says.

 

“It’s my pleasure.” Jared shakes her hand. “Well I guess I better go pee.”

 

“Yeah then you can head down to waiting area b for your turn with Tessa in ultrasound.” Jessica directs him.

 

“Thank you.” Jared says as he heads into the bathroom. He fills up his cup and doesn’t pee on his hand. He sets it on the counter in front of Jessica with a small smile and going down the hall to wait his turn with Tessa.

 

After waiting about ten minutes his name it called and he walks into the little room with a middle aged technician who introduces herself as Tessa.

 

“Okay big guy up on the table. Raise your shirt up and I’ll tuck his into your waist band so the jelly doesn’t get on your pants. Its cold, sorry.” She apologizes at Jared cringe.

 

“That’s ok. I think I’m too excited to really care.” Jared supplies as an answer.

 

“Ah, first timer. By the time this baby comes out you will be a pro at this. Okay let’s see what we can find.” Tessa says as she moves the wand around his stomach. We it looks like I’m going to go get your nurse and have a second eye look at this to make sure I’m right. I’ll be right back. Don’t worry.” Tessa sets the wand back on the machine, gets up and leaves the room.

 

Oh, shit is there something wrong with my baby runs on a loop through Jared’s mind. Why would she say something about getting a second eye to look unless it’s something bad? Please tell me I’m not being punished for not telling Jensen.

 

Tessa walks back into the room with Jessica trailing behind her. She picks the wand back up and scans across Jared belly. “See right there. A and B.” Tessa looks over her shoulder at Jessica.

 

“I am seeing the same thing you are.” Jessica confirms.

 

Jared is starting to get a little more panicked. “What’s going on? Is something wrong?” Jared asks about ready to cry.

 

“No, I’m sorry honey. Nothing is wrong. It just looks like you have more in here cookin’ then I expected.” Tessa teases.

 

“What do you mean?” Jared not so scared any more just perplexed.

 

As Tessa turns the screen for Jared to see he notices two something’s instead of one something. “It seems as if you are going to have twins.” Tessa smiles at him.

 

“What? You mean I’m having two.” Jared eyes go wide as he holds up two fingers.

 

“Yeah that’s what it looks like. Do you want me to see if I can see their sexes?” Tessa asks.

 

During the whole experience Jessica has been rubbing Jared shoulder trying to calm him down.

 

Jared swallows around the knot that has taken residence in his throat as says, “Yes, please.”

 

“Well it looks like Baby A is a little girl and Baby B is a snot, hold on give me a second.” Tessa says as she moves around trying to get B to cooperate with her. “Ah ha looks like it’s a boy. Now I do have to tell you that this is not 100% accurate. The next ultrasound could show that totally different but from what I can see it looks like one of each.”

 

“Holy shit.” Jared says as the tears run down his face.

 

“I take it you weren’t expecting to be expecting more than one.” Jessica looks down at him.

 

  

  1. Shaking his head and responding with a hushed, “No.”   
  



 

“Come on let’s get you cleaned up and get you back to see the doctor and I will be seeing you again in about four weeks. Multiples require more work, honey.” Tessa wipes off his stomach and hands him about six little pictures of his twins.

 

“Holy shit.” Jared takes them from her and stares down at them. “Holy shit.”

 

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? Jared.” Jessica shakes his arm.

 

“Yeah, sorry just a tad bit surprised.” Jared says rubbing his forehead.

 

“It will all work it’s self out in the end honey.” Jessica helps him off the table and makes sure he doesn’t pass out or fall over.

 

Jared looks over at her and gasps, “I’m pregnant with twins.”

 

“Yes Jared you are and you’ll get used to it believe me. This body had triplets about two years ago. Never think that would you.” Jessica smiles at him.

 

“I need to sit down.” Jared is shaking like a leaf.

 

“Come on let’s get you to your room. Then you can lie down and breathe for a minute before the doctor comes in.” Jessica rubs his back as she guides him to the room. Making sure he makes it to the bed and lies down slowly. “Are you going to be okay, Jared?”

 

“I don’t know.” Jared looks at her wide-eyed.

 

“I’m sure you will be fine. You rest for a minute and I’ll be right back in to do your blood pressure okay.” Jessica walks over to the door.

 

“Yeah. Okay.” Jared says in a rush of breath.

 

At the desk Jessica looks over at Tessa as she brings her report over to stick in Jared’s file. “Is he okay?” Tessa smirks.

 

“No I think he’s about to have a heart attack. But let it sink in he’ll be okay.” Jessica smirks at Tessa

 

“You know it can be quite a shock to the system finding out your having more than one.” Tessa says.

 

“Oh, yeah I had triplets. I know.” Jessica smiles. “See you later Tessa I have to take his blood pressure.”

 

Jessica knocks on the door before walking in. Jared in lying on his left side looking at the wall, crying. “Hey, it’s going to be okay, Jared.” Jessica steps up to him

 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can handle one baby by myself but two at once. I don’t know.” Jared sobs.

 

“Jared it will be okay I’m sure your family will help you if you need them.” Jessica tries to comfort him.

 

“Their already mad at me for the way I left my husband. And I definitely can’t go back to him now. He didn’t even want one kid.” Jared is full out mess now.

 

“Jared you are a strong person and you will make do with what you have and be able to come out the other side.” Jessica says sternly.

 

“I hope so. Just one time I wish I knew what that would be.” Jared sniffles.

 

“Come on you need to settle down so I can get a good blood pressure. Reign those hormones in for a few minutes and breathe deep for me.” Jessica rubs his back. She stands there for about two minutes waiting for Jared to calm down and takes his pressure.

 

“It’s not so bad 130 over 95, little high but you’ve been through a lot this afternoon.” Jessica smiles at him.

 

A knock at the door lets them know the doctor is coming in. “Hey Jared seems like you had some big news this afternoon. Twins are a lot to look forward too. You will have extra appointments now so we can keep an extra close eye on you, okay.” Dr. Madison smiles at him.

 

“Okay. Um how much different is my daily routine going to have to change since there are two of them now?” Jared asks.

 

“Well as long as you and the babies are feeling and doing fine you wouldn’t have to change anything you do. But if it gets to a point that your feet start to swell, blood pressure goes up or you feel extra drained might have to cut back on your work schedule.” Dr. Madison says. “But those things don’t usually happen until later on.”

 

“Okay. I’m kind of blown away right now.” Jared looks at her stunned.

 

“As it is to be expected it’s a big thing to find out your carrying two little ones around inside of you. It is especially when they are your first children.” Dr. Madison smiles at him.

 

“It’s something I’m going to have to get used to.” Jared smiles back at her feeling a tad bit better.

 

“There are support groups that can help you. Other parents that have gone through similar pregnancies they can give you insight to help you. You’re not alone in this Jared.” Jessica says because she knows about this she went through it herself.

 

“I’m better now some of the shock has worn off.” Jared gives a small laugh.

 

“It’s a big step going from a family of one to a family of three in one day. It can catch you off guard.” Dr. Madison pats his shoulder. “Okay let’s get you measured and listen for heartbeats and get you out front for your next appointment.”

 

“Okay.” Jared nods his head.

 

Dr. Madison measures Jared stomach and informs him he is measuring high and that’s normal for twins and then they find both the heartbeats. Baby A slightly faster than Baby B but it makes it easier to tell them apart. Afterwards Jared goes up front and before he leaves Jessica brings him a stack of pamphlets with different organizations that help soon to be parents of multiples with finding resources. Jared thanks her and leaves to go sit on his truck and gather his thoughts before calling his mom.

 

“Mom I’m having twins.” No hello or it’s me just jumping right in without preamble.

 

“Jared, what are you shittin’ me?” Sherry says.

 

“No mom I’m not shittin’ You. I just had my ultrasound and there is a Baby A and a Baby B. I about had a heart attack. I don’t know what I’m going to do I can do one baby but I don’t know if I can take on two at once.” Jared says close to tears.

 

“Come over Jared. I’ll sit and listen to you but you know how I feel about your decision.” Sherry will show Jared some compassion about the twins but he made his bed as Gerry put it.

 

“Okay mom.” Jared says.

 

“Bye, Jared I’ll see you when you get here.” Sherry hangs up before he says anymore.

 

“Who was that?” Gerry asks his wife.

 

“Your son he’s pregnant with twins.” Sherry shakes her head at the statement.

 

“What!” Gerry exclaims.

 

“You heard me. If it isn’t one disaster after another with this the bombshells keep coming.” Sherry sits down at the table with her cup of coffee. “Jensen was here last week and if Jared would have shown up I bet he would of been able to figure this out. Jared already looks like he’s five months along so I guess twins would explain that.”

 

“Sherry maybe you should take it easy on him just for today. This is going to be a big shock to his system. Just maybe not be as snappy. I know he has to be really freaked out.” Gerry looks at his wife with pleading eyes.

 

“Maybe I can tone it down for today. Maybe they found out their sexes. That would be a highlight.” Sherry smiles at Gerry knowing that he means well.

 

“Thank you. It’s just as hard on him as it is us.” Gerry knows that being away from Jensen hurts him too. At least Jared talks to him about how he feels but swears that if he outs him to the rest of the family he will stop talking to him about it.

 

“If you say so didn’t seem to bother him too much the other day when I told him Jensen was coming down for a visit. He just snidely asked what for. I told him if it matter he could come find out for himself.” Sherry looks at her husband for his reaction.

 

“Sherry you know I can’t make Jared change his mind. I’ve talked myself blue in the face just as well as you have.” Gerry gets up from his chair turning towards the living room.

 

“I know Gerry I know.” Sherry walks over to the sink and dumps the rest of it down the drain.

 

Jared walks into the house about fifteen minutes later. “Hey mom where are you?” Jared shouts into the house.

 

“Back here in the den trying to get this mess cleaned up.” Sherry returns his call.

 

“Hey momma.” Jared walks in to find his mom surrounded by everything that was supposed to be on the shelves. “What are you doing?”

 

“Well I have about five months to get a play/nursery set up for when you and the kids are over so I thought I’d start now.” Sherry looks up at him from under her bangs.

 

“Are you sure that’s a wise idea with Jensen visiting you?” Jared asks.

 

“Nobody uses this room anymore it has become a catch all for all kinds of crap. Anyways the door is always shut.” Sherry keeps looking at Jared.

“If you say so mom I’m not going to argue with you. I’ve had enough stress for one day.” Jared shakes his head. Walking over to his mom and hugging her tight taking what comfort he could even though it wasn’t much.

 

“I’m not going to go into it today Jared your dad asked me not to. I’ll listen and suggest some stuff that might make it easier on you, but I’ll pull the snappiness back for today but be warned it will be back tomorrow.” Sherry squeezes Jared.

 

“Thank you mom I need you today. Is this my punishment for stopping my birth control, lying and not telling him about the pregnancy?” Jared asks as the tears start to fall.

 

“It’s not punishment you’re only given what you can handle and you can handle this and since your dead set on not telling him you will have to endure it by yourself. We will help but you will have to do most of it by yourself. We can’t do it for you.” Sherry kisses him on his forehead.

 

“Momma I’m scared. I had it all figured out now there’s an extra one. What am I going to do with two babies?” Jared whimpers to Sherry.

 

The front door slams shut and Jensen hollers into the house “Sherry, are you here?”

 

“Oh shit, Jared I swear I didn’t know he was coming over here. I promise. Just stay in here. I’m coming honey hold on a minute.” Sherry practically runs from the room slamming the door shut.

 

“Sorry Jensen, I wasn’t expecting you today.” Sherry hugs him and kisses his cheek.

 

“I wasn’t expecting to either but they had to have someone come down to set up some new software and I volunteered. I saw Jared truck outside is he here?” Jensen asks sheepishly.

 

“No he’s with his dad. They went to the hardware store.” Sherry covers flawlessly.

 

“Oh. Well I came by to see if you minded if I came by this weekend because Chris and Steve are doing a show and I wanted to see Megan.” Jensen asks.

 

“You know you can stop by whenever you want. Just call and make sure we are home is all.” Sherry looks at him fondly.

 

“Okay, I’ll see you this weekend.” Jensen gives her a hug as he turns towards the door. “I’ll see you later.”

 

As the door shuts Jared comes out of the den and peeks out the window as Jensen gets in his car and drives away. Sherry wraps her arms around Jared waist as he cries.

 

“Jared wouldn’t it just be easier if you just tell him and do away with all hurt.” Sherry says into his back because he won’t turn and face her.

 

“I can’t momma. If he rejected me now it would be even worse. I have twins on the way and I can barely deal with my issues. If I added those to what I’m already dealing with I’d have a nervous breakdown. I feel like shit now. I was wrong momma but dad was right I made my bed now I have the lay in it. I fucked up.” Jared turns around to wrap himself around his mom.

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

Chapter 13

 

“Hey Chris when we go down to San Antonio for that gig this weekend I’m going over to see Megan at the Padalecki’s.” Jensen says to Chris.

 

“Please tell me you aren’t going to go see if Jared will be there.” Chris asks.

 

“NO! I’m just going to see her; she hasn’t been getting along very well with him since he did this. They fight quite a bit and she is quite verbal about her dislike for how he handles our situation.” Jensen replies to Chris.

 

 “You mean him dropping you like he was burnt. Except he burnt you; you didn’t burn him.” Chris snarls back.

 

“Chris stop I am finally starting to come to some semblance of peace with this whole situation, okay just drop it.” Jensen pleads.

 

“You know if I see him I’m putting my fist in his face.” Chris comes back.

 

“He stays well out of the way when I’m around.” Jensen tells Chris.

 

“I’m just letting you know. I’ll get him sooner or later.” Chris snickers.

 

“Chris just let it be.” Jensen tries again.

 

“I’m not you, Jensen.” Chris amends.

 

“Okay let’s stop this before it goes totally south here. I just wanted you to know that if I come up missing that’s where I will be. We will be sharing some quality brother/sister time together.” Jensen laughs. “I lost my husband but gained his sister.”

 

“Well at least you got something out of this shit.” Chris could literally kill Jared and not think twice. He could take him apart with his bare hands.

 

“Chris please.” Jensen pleads.

 

“Okay I’ll stop. So you are singing this weekend, right.” Chris asks.

 

“If I must do you know what we are singing, yet?” Jensen asks.

 

“Nope not until I get on stage.” Chris tuts.

“How come you can never be the least bit organized and still have them eating out of your hand.” Jensen wonders.

 

“Because I’m just that fucking awesome.” Chris laughs.

 

“If that’s what you think.” Jensen laughs with Chris. “Alright I’ll talk to you later, bye.”

 

“Later, Jenny.” Chris laughs.

 

“Don’t call me that.” Jensen says before hanging up.

 

Chris looks at his phone trying not to think about the ways he could seriously hurt Jared at this moment in time. That little fucker had made their lives hell since he decided to hot foot it out of Jensen’s life. It took almost this last three months to get Jensen not to cry on a daily basis. Maybe it has finally gotten to the point that he just doesn’t care anymore. But probably not he does it when he’s alone and no one is around to see him at his worst. Chris knows this from his experiences of dealing with a broken Jensen. He has called at random times to see if he wanted to talk and to make sure that he is still alive. It pisses Jensen off but Chris doesn’t care. At least he knows that he’s breathing.

 

“Did you use the last of the shampoo?” Steve asks from the doorway of the bedroom.

 

“There’s more in the closet.” Chris looks at Steve.

 

“You were talking to Jensen I can see it in your eyes. Having murderous thought about Jared aren’t you?” Steve shakes his head.

 

“Know me all too well don’t you.” Chris smiles at Steve.

 

“Well it’s kind of hard not to be able to decipher that look you only have it when you’re pissed about something and he’s been your trigger recently.” Steve walks over to run his hand through Chris’ hair. “Why don’t you join me and we will get you distracted from plotting murder for awhile.”

 

“All you have to do is ask.” Chris gets up and strips on his way out of the room.

 

Jensen has been having a lot of trouble focusing on the latest ad campaign he was put in charge of for the newly opened line of coffee shops in Austin. It’s not that the content he’s working with isn’t fresh just that his mind is far from giving a shit about their damn coffee. He has been thinking about taking a really long vacation and doing nothing but run around with Chris, drink and in general just fuck off. He doesn’t have to answer to anyone and if he actually play and sings with Chris and Steve they would support him for awhile. The house is on the market and everything has been put in storage, even Jared stuff. He tried to give it to his parents but they refused to take it say if Jared wanted it he could get over himself and go get it himself. They aren’t very happy with their son. At least they still love Jensen. He has spent more time with them now then he did when Jared and he were together. It’s kind of cool.

Okay his mind has taken off on its own again this has happened six times in the last two hours. So he stands up walks out of his office and goes to talk to his boss. Knocking on Jeff’s door and waiting for him to answer, he turns the knob and walks in. “Hey, Jeff do you have a few minutes to spare.” Jensen asks.

 

“Sure Jensen what do you need?” Jeff looks up from his reading.

 

“Well you know I’ve had a few bad months with Jared leaving and I was wondering if I could take a leave of absence to try and get my head straight.” Jensen looks Jeff in the eye trying to see if he could figure out what he would say before he says it.

 

“Well you do have quite a bit of vacation time left because you never use it. It adds up to about a month and a half. It would be up to you if you took unpaid leave of absence or paid vacation time.” Jeff tells him.

 

“If you wouldn’t mind I’d rather take the paid vacation. That way I still have money coming in.” Jensen says.

 

“That’s fine with me. How have you been doing with the coffee house account?” Jeff asks.

 

“Not very well I keep spacing out and losing my train of thought. I can find any purchase on what I need to be doing. I’m sorry Jeff I just can’t focus.” Jensen apologizes.

 

“No, need to apologize thing happen in life that can totally throw you for a loop.” Jeff says. “When do you want to start your vacation?”

 

“Is tomorrow too soon? I can use the rest of today to get my stuff put together and pass it back to you for someone else to take over.” Jensen looks at John.

 

“That’s fine with me. Just let me know how long you want to take.” Jeff says.

 

“If you don’t mind could we do it at a week at a time?” Jensen asks.

 

“That’s fine. Just make sure you call me so I know what you’re doing.” Jeff tells him.

 

“That I can do.” Jensen smiles at Jeff.

 

“Just go get yourself in order so that when you come back you can get back in the groove.” John tells him hoping that this break will pull him out of his funk.

 

“Thank you Jeff and I hope I can come back and focus on my job and not my messed up life.” Jensen stands up and leaves his boss to get back to what he was doing.

 

Jensen heads back to his office to pull together the few things he’s been able to do with the coffee shop account and then calls Chris to tell him that he’s taking a vacation and will be spending it on tour with him and Steve.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 

Jared had gone home and slept the rest of the day away and called in sick today. Carrie called him when he didn’t show up for his shift wanting to know what was wrong.

 

“Hi, Carrie. Yeah I went to my doctor’s appointment yesterday and I’m having twins. I’m still coming to terms with the news. I thought taking an extra day off work would help me relax.” Jared tells his friend. Actually the only ones who know anything is his family.

 

“Oh that’s cool. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything bad. But I guess finding out your having twins would be stressful. How did your parents take it?” Carrie asks. She knows a little about his situation but not all of it.

 

“Mom was actually nice yesterday. She didn’t snap at me. She did ask if it just wouldn’t be easier for me to tell Jensen and do away with all the hurting. I just can’t. I don’t think he will react well.” Jared tells her.

 

“You do know that the only way to find out is to tell him. And before you go of on your rant you’ve already told me.” Carrie reminds Jared that he had already gone over the whole Jensen didn’t want kids’ thing.

 

“I just don’t want to talk about that right now, okay. So what are you doing this weekend?” Jared asks to change the subject.

 

“I’m going to the bar with some of my other friend to see Kane. He’s actually pretty good. Why don’t you come with?” Carrie offers.

 

“NO! I mean I can’t go to the bar pregnant. That would be asking for trouble being a guy at a bar with being pregnant. Not such a good idea.” Jared calms his objection down a bit.

 

“If you say so Jay, I thought it might be fun. You don’t get out much and you’re always at work or home. Maybe we could have a girl’s night out, go to a movie or something just you and me.” Carrie suggests.

 

“That would be fun. But you do know I’m not a girl right? I mean just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m a girl, Carrie.”  Jared trying to make a point.

 

“Yes Jared I know you are not a girl I was trying to be cute.” Carrie gives a little laugh.

 

“Ha ha well you’re not funny. And just because I can be emotional and I have man issues doesn’t mean I’m a girl” Jared snarks.

 

“I know Jared take it easy. You are too serious sometimes. You need to find away to unwind. We will go to the movie on Saturday and have a small dinner afterwards.” Carrie states.

 

“Don’t you usually eat dinner before the movie?” Jared asks.

“Yeah but if I fill you up on popcorn and candy you won’t eat as much at the restaurant.” Carrie gives a hearty laugh.

 

“You are so wrong. I can pay for myself.” Jared retorts.

 

“Yeah but I asks so I’m paying. You can pay next time.” Carrie replies.

 

“You’re dead set on making me do this aren’t you?” Jared asks.

 

“You can’t stay in your apartment and at work for the rest of your life. You can’t be a hermit that’s pregnant with twins forever.” Carrie informs Jared.

 

“But I can be pregnant with twins and want to stay at home.” Jared tells her.

 

“Jared. You need to go do something. Being in your apartment by yourself all the time isn’t healthy.” Carrie pleads with him.

 

“God woman can’t a guy get big and fat in his own home and not be bothered with friends that always have to run, run, run.” Jared tries for sarcastic but breaks at the end.

 

“No because if you did when you go into labor they would have to roll you to the hospital.” Carrie says with a laugh.

 

“Are you trying to hurt a pregnant persons feeling by trying to say he’s fat.” Jared says mockingly.

 

“No, I’m saying that if you stay in your apartment during your whole pregnancy you will get fat.” Carrie laughs.

 

“Okay I give I’ll go see a movie and have dinner with you.” Jared gives in.

 

“Awesome. How about around 4 on Saturday?” Carrie asks.

 

“That’s fine. We can talk about it more at work.” Jared agrees. “Tell George and Fred I said hello and that I’m fine.” He tacks on at the end.

 

“I will tell them and I assume I’ll see you tomorrow before work?” Carrie asks.

 

“Yes I will meet you guys at the coffee shop on time with my twins in tow.” Jared jokes.

 

“Alright, bye Jay, see you there.” Carrie sing songs into the phone.

 

“Bye, Carrie.” Jared hangs up the phone and tosses it on the end table. He looks around the living room trying to decide if he should go out shopping for some small baby items or just hold off until Friday after work. He wonders if by chance if Megan would give him much flack if he called her to go with him. He decided to give it a try. Picking up his phone from the table and dialing Megan and waiting for her to pickup.

 

“Hello Jared. What do you want?” Megan snips.

 

“I know I’m not your favorite person but I wanted to know if by a great big chance you might go baby shopping with me. Please Megan I really need you right now. Please.” Jared pleads with her.

 

“I don’t know why I should you’re a Dick. But I guess I can be sympathetic for one day.” Megan sighs.

 

“Thank you Megan. I am sorry you don’t understand my reasons, but I still love you.” Jared tells his sister feeling slightly better except for the ‘dick’ comment.

 

“Don’t make me change my mind Jared.” Megan quips.

 

“I’m sorry. Do you want me to pick you up or do you want to meet me at Baby Depot?” Jared asks.

 

“I’ll meet you there. It’s no use for you to drive all the way here and then back again.” Megan shakes her head even though Jared can’t see it.

 

“I’ll see you in about twenty minutes, then.” Jared inquires.

 

“Yeah that’s fine Jared. See you in a bit.” Megan hangs up.

 

Jared thinks that maybe if he works on her hard enough he can get her to not be so mad at him all the time. He gets up and changes out of his night clothes into casual clothes and heads out the door. It only takes him 15 minutes to get to the store. He walks to the front door when he sees Megan pull in and park.

 

“Hey baby sister I’ve missed you.” Jared pulls Megan into a tight embrace.

 

“I miss you too but that doesn’t mean I’m forgiving you anytime soon with the way you’re treating Jensen.” Megan snaps.

 

“Hey I don’t want to fight can we just get along for a little while?” Jared asks

 

“Okay I will try and be comfortable around you for an afternoon.” Megan says wrinkling up her face. “Oh shit that’s fucking Mackenzie you better go stand behind something. Here she comes.” Megan shoves Jared in front of clothes rack trying to keep it between Kenzie and them

 

“Hey Megan, Jared.” She says Jared name with a sneer.

 

“Hi Mackenzie how are you?” Megan says cheerfully.

“I’m good. Jensen told me about the ‘separation’ Jared. You know we knew you would end up doing something like this to him and leaving him high and dry after pulling him into this sorted affair with you.” Mackenzie rudely glares at him.

 

“Please Mackenzie we are in public. Doing this here won’t do any of us any good.” Jared whimpers.

 

“Whatever, Jared. Sorry to interrupt you’re shopping. Later Megan.” Mackenzie walks away from them throwing a hateful look back at Jared.

 

“Jared are you okay you don’t look to good.” Megan asks rubbing his back.

 

“I’ll be okay. She’s just mad for me ruining her brother’s life before I got pregnant.” Jared reaches up and wipes at his eyes.

 

“Come on. We’ll go look at stuff and get your mind off of it all for awhile. So twins huh? Are you excited?” Megan asks.

 

“Yeah twins and no I’m scared shitless, Meg. I don’t know if I can do this.” Jared says almost breaking down.

 

“Jared I’m not going to your side because I really feel you are doing Jensen wrong with this hiding everything from him. You do know that he had been spending time with me, right.” Megan informs Jared.

 

“Yeah I know I was hiding at the house yesterday when he popped in to see if he could come by this weekend. It hurt Meg seeing him after so long.” Jared let’s some of his tears fall.

 

“Jared you made this bed you can either lie in it or get out and make it right.” Megan shakes her head at her weeping brother.

 

“I know Meg, I know. Can we go looking around now?” Jared starts to walk away from her. He heads toward the furniture and starts looking at cribs. He really likes the dark cherry finished ones, and it has a matching changing table and rocker.

 

“I like the lighter colors Jay. It would make the room brighter.” Megan suggests.  

 

“Yeah but I was going to paint the two walls on that side of the room in pastels blue and pink. The dark cherry will give off a contrasting look.” Jared says.

 

“Decorating with the gay eye of my pregnant brother.” Megan laughs.

 

“Shut up Megan you’re going to make me cry. I looked outside the other day and saw it was raining and I started to bawl.” Jared looks down at her.

 

“Hormones Jay hormones.” Megan laughs again. “Are you going to do themes or are you just going to pick something well rounded for both of them.”

 

“I haven’t thought about it much. I could do fairies and teddy bears.” Jared smiles at Megan.

 

“I like the fairies. But I don’t know about the teddies maybe oh how about turtles or monkeys. This bedding is really cute Jay.” Megan points at the little sea turtle blankets.

 

“Those are really cute.” Jared walks over and rubs his hand over the soft material. “That’s a good suggestion Megan. I will definitely consider it.” Jared reaches around and hugs her to his side.

 

“Glad I could be of help. You know Jay you can’t hide forever.” Megan looks at his face. Seeing how heartbroken he is just in his expression.

 

“I know Meg. I just can’t right now.” Jared pleads.

 

“Okay. I’ll let you be for right now. You know he still talks about you. He asks me every time he sees me how you are. He knows I’m really mad at you for your bad decision. And I tell him some of the truth that you’re ok and doing as well as can be expected with all this. I really wish you would just see him and talk to him.” Megan tries one last time.

 

“I know you do Meg. I fucked up and now I have to deal with my decisions. I’m sorry.” Jared swallows hard before looking back over at his sister.

 

“Okay. What kind of stuff did you want to look at today?” Megan asks as she changes the course of their day.

 

“I was thinking about bottles, t-shirts, socks and stuff like that. Just small stuff nothing big yet.” Jared smiles at her.

 

Megan and Jared spend their day walking around Baby Depot picking out different things that are so cute they couldn’t pass up. Jared decides to go with the sea turtles for Baby B and Baby A. They have very cute options for both of them. The feeling of doing fairies just didn’t sit right for him all by himself. Maybe if he and Jensen were still together the fairies would have been an option. He damns his brain thinking about what they could be doing with the nursery right now. But he screwed that up in the beginning and is afraid to try and change it now. Like panic attack scared to try.

 

“Okay I think we have been here long enough Jared. I’m tired and your obviously dragging let’s hit the cashier.” Megan heads toward the front of the store with her brother trailing behind her slowly.

 

“Would you mind coming back to the apartment and helping me put some of this away?” Jared smiles brightly at her.

 

“I would but I have to work tonight. If you let it be I can come over after I see Jen on Saturday.” Megan tells Jared.

 

“Carrie wants me to go to a movie and dinner with her Saturday.” Jared tells her. “What are you doing Sunday?”

 

“I can come over then I can bring mom with me. She will love this stuff. You remember how she acted when Jane and Jeff found out they were pregnant.” Megan grins back at Jared.

 

“Yeah I remember.” Jared frowns at her. He hasn’t had the same reactions as Jeff and Jane. He has everyone telling him he’s wrong and supporting him with the pregnancy but not at all treating him personally as a great person who’s bringing new life to the family.

 

“What’s wrong Jared?” Megan looks at worriedly.

 

“Just tired I think I’ve over done it. Need to go home and take a nap.” Jared yawns to emphasis his statement.

 

“Well let’s check out and get on our way home.” Megan starts to lay everything out on the belt. Then when its checkout helps Jared load it into the truck. “I’ll see you Sunday.”

 

“I’ll call you when I get up. And if you want I’ll make you breakfast.” Jared replies.

 

“That would be great Jay. I’ll see you then.” Megan walks to her car.

 

Jared waves at her before getting in his truck and driving home. He makes three trips between the truck and the apartment before he has everything in the bedroom.  He walks back out making his dinner and relaxing on the couch watching TV eventually falling asleep on the couch. Waking up a couple hours later stiff and uncomfortable and having to pee.

 

Going into his bedroom, changing and flopping down on his bed thinking that not only is Jensen going to be town but so is Christian and Steve. He needs to be careful with all three of them being around. Normally when Jensen is in town he cocoons his self in his apartment until his mom calls and tells him Jensen has went home. But this weekend wasn’t a visit to his family it’s for a gig which probably means that they are going to be here all weekend and Jensen is spending the day with Megan. Hopefully they don’t cross paths. Jared hopes and prays that they go do something like go to the bar and watch Kane play. But it’s his sister and she doesn’t need to be at the bar. He starts to freak out at the possibility that Megan and Jensen might go to the movies or end up at the same restaurant as him and Carrie. But if that happens then he will just have to stay calm and deal with it. He stops thinking and just takes deep breaths because it could be worse. Yes it could be worse. They could book into the same hotel he works at. At least at the movie it will be dark and at the restaurant he would be sitting at a table.

 

Relaxing and drifting off to sleep he dreams of what it would be like to raise his children with Jensen. They love their kids with everything they have and celebrate the coming as a great event and love each other more than they ever have. In the morning waking up is hard because he just wants to stay in his dream because it is how all this is supposed to be.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 

“Hello Megan.” Jensen says. “I will be at your mom’s house about 10 on Saturday. Do you know what you might want to do?”

 

“Do you feel like going to the mall? My friend just found out that she is pregnant with twins and I found something at J.C. Penney’s that she would love if you don’t mind. We could look around then eat at the food court and see a movie afterwards. Maybe even have dinner.” Megan has a plan cooking in her head and she hopes nobody catches her.

 

“That would be fine. That’s not too early, is it?” Jensen asks.

 

“No that’s fine. That will give us the whole day to run around and make fun of people.” Megan laughs.

 

“You do know you’re not a teenager anymore, right. Don’t be offended I’m just asking.”

 

“Yes I know I’m not a teenager but it never gets old.” Megan retorts

 

“Okay just checking. I’ll see you Saturday. Bye.” Jensen says.

 

“Bye Jensen. I love you.” Megan hangs up.

 

Megan can see it in her head. She knows that she is getting ready to get in a lot of trouble but maybe she can be sneaky enough that the two of them will have to talk about this pregnancy and each other. If they can be hard headed so can she. If she can figure out what movie and/or restaurant she could make it happen. But if she can do it without being caught would be even better. He’s going with Carrie maybe she will help her if she explains it to her. She has Carrie’s number in case she can’t get a hold of Jared at any time. She calls Carrie and tells her she wants to get Jared and Jensen in the same place at the same time to see of anything good could come out of the meeting. Carrie is stand offish at first but she has seen how Jared reacts when someone mentions his husband. She’s in. Megan finds out they are going to watch “Real Steel” at the Regal Live Oaks 18 the 4:20 showing and then eating at the Golden Corral in Universal City because Jared doesn’t know what he wants to eat and it’s the closest one to the theater.

 

Megan thanks Carrie profusely and emphasizes that none of this will be on her shoulders she will take the full brunt of the attack afterwards from both of the guys. Megan is going to try and play it off as total coincidence. Hope against all other hope it works. Hopefully they don’t try to kill each other. Maybe Carrie and her can casually walk away and leave them to it. Just maybe.

 

Megan talks to Carrie twice more over the next two days. Carrie voicing her fears and Megan assuring her everything will go as she plans and not to worry. Because she truly believes it will all turn out to be right as rain.

 

D-day has arrived. Jensen comes over to the house at 10 exactly on the nose. Sherry has breakfast on the table and after eating and talking for awhile they head out to the mall.

 

Megan heads into the J.C. Penney’s to buy the sea turtles she saw online in both pink and green/blue. Jensen following behind her commenting that those were cute decorations for a baby’s room. Megan thinks if he only knew who they were actually for he would be thanking her.

 

After purchasing the turtles she suggests going to Spencer’s and looking around the specialty shop. Jensen asks her if she’s sure she is actually allowed in the store at her young age. She smacks him in the shoulder exclaiming she not a little kid anymore.

 

“I do not want to contribute to your deviant tendencies. I will not be responsible for your downfall.” Jensen snarks.

 

“Jen it’s not like I’m 13 again and just learning what cocks are used for.” Megan lets out a peal of laughter when Jensen turn beet red.

 

“Megan not in the middle of the mall you’re as bad as your brother.” Jensen rubs across his forehead.

 

“It is just too precious to see you light up like a Christmas tree light.” Megan grabs Jensen arm to pull him across the aisles to head into the store.

 

“You better not embarrass me in here. Megan I’m being serious.” Jensen looks around the store kind of scared about what Megan was going to embarrass him with next.

 

“Oh Jen relax I’m not going to do anything.” Megan drags him to the back of the store looking at some of the more racy items on display.

 

After looking around Megan wants to go to Aunt Millie’s pretzels. It’s the only real reason to come to the mall anyhow.

 

“So what movie do you want to see?” Jensen asks Megan.

 

“I want to see “Real Steel” it looks really cool. And it has Hugh Jackman in it so win, win.” Megan smiles at him.

 

“If you say so. Are we eating before or after?” Jensen asks after another bite of his soft pretzel.

 

“Well the showing I want to go to 4:20 and there’s a Golden Corral right across the parking lot.” Megan smirks. “All you can eat for one price.”

“If that’s what you want to do it fine with me but we had better not eat too much popcorn or candy at the theater.” Jensen suggests.

 

“I’m not. I don’t even think I want any. Too bad I can’t sneak the pretzels in.” Megan smiles fondly at Jensen. He has no clue what she has cooked up for him and her brother.

 

“Is there any place else in here you want to drag me to or can we go someplace else?” Jensen asks.

 

“No I want to make sure we get good seats at the movie so we can head out now.” Megan stands up and heads for the trash.

 

“Let’s go.” Jensen follows her out of the food court.

 

It’s a quiet drive to the theater and the wait in line wasn’t bad. Megan walks into the theater scanning to see if she can find her brother but they haven’t gotten there yet. Damn that one didn’t work out. They take seats in the middle of the room.

 

 

Jared walks into the theater and scans the room looking for seats that would be comfortable and still be good to see the whole screen as he looks across the room he sees his sister and Jensen sitting in the middle. He gasps loudly and Carrie asks him what’s wrong.

 

“It’s my sister and my husband.” Jared whispers. “Let’s just sit here hopefully they won’t see me.” Jared motions.

 

“Jared I think we will be okay the movie is getting ready to start.” Carrie says softly.

 

At that moment Megan looks up and her face goes from shocked to amazed as she recognizes her brother. He points at her and put a finger up to his lips and taps it. Jared is about to have a panic attack as he realizes that everything is hinged on his sister keeping quiet and not saying anything to Jensen. He shakes his head at her. Megan blinks at her brother and turns back around. Jensen is saying something to her. She shakes her head no and says something back.

 

“Are you going to be okay?” Carrie asks quietly.

 

“Yeah as long as they stay where they are and don’t notice me, we’re good.” Jared rubs at his forehead, laying one hand across his bulging stomach.

 

“Just stay calm and keep breathing.” Carrie advises him.

 

 

“Hey we have about five minutes before this starts. I’m going to the bathroom do you want anything when I come back.” Megan asks.

 

“No I’m good.” Jensen looks up at her as she stands.

 

Jensen stays seated as Megan walks toward the back of the theater and motioning for Jared to follow her. After getting outside the doors Jared confronts her.

 

“What are the two of you doing here?” Jared asks.

 

“I had no idea you were going to be here. The J.C. Penney’s in the mall was the only one that had a certain thing I wanted and then I decided we could watch a movie and then go out to eat. Jensen has to be back before Kane is ready to play for tonight. So we are doing it early. I’m sorry Jared.” Megan says near tears.

 

“Okay Megan I believe you. Just sit through most of the credits and to make sure we can get out of here.” Jared shakes his head leaving Megan standing there as he heads back into the theater.

 

Megan follows a few seconds later making her way back down to Jensen so she can watch the movie and try to come up for a reason to watch some of the credits. But everything falls into perfect sync when Jensen wants to know what one of the songs on the soundtrack was. That means Jared had a good five minute head start. Jensen had to go to the bathroom before they left for the restaurant.

 

Golden Corral was packed when they walked into the building. Luckily Carrie and Jared had made it through the line before they even made it in the door. Megan could see them at the counter getting food as she and Jensen were lead to their own table. She saw them head to a table towards the salad bar end while they were seated by the grill. Which meant that if Jensen wanted salad he would without a doubt see Jared sitting there eating.

 

“Hey do you know what you want from the grill I can get it while you go get the salads?” Megan asks.

 

“Yeah get me a piece of fried chicken, rare piece of steak and some of that pot roast if they have any.” Jensen looks at Megan.

 

“Okay just put eggs, ham, cheese and black olives on my salad with ranch.” Megan tells Jensen.

 

Megan watches as he makes it down the walkway. He doesn’t notice Jared on the way up but Megan can see when he turns around and he registers Jared’s laugh coming from the right as he walks back.

 

“Jared.” He looks almost grief stricken.

 

Jared looks up from his plate when he hears Jensen say his name. “Jensen, what are you doing here?” Jared says as he goes white with fear.

 

“Me and Megan just watched a movie and she wanted to come here to eat.” Jensen says quietly.

 

“Oh.” Jared says looking at Carrie like she might know something he doesn’t. She looks back at him dumbfounded turning around looking at Jensen.

 

“Hey, I saw you last night. You were on stage at the Kane gig.” Carrie smiles at him. “You have a nice voice.”

 

“Thank you.” He blushes. “Jared you look good.”

 

“You do to Jensen. You probably should get back to Megan before she wonders where you are.” Jared looks away from Jensen in dismissal.

 

“Yeah right I should. It was nice seeing you Jared. I miss you.” Jensen steps away from the table and heads back to Megan.

 

When he gets back to the table he looks at Megan through hurt eyes, “Did you know he was going to be here?”

 

“No Jensen I wouldn’t of came here if I knew, I swear.” Megan is near to tears at the look on his face.

 

“Okay.” Jensen says as he picks up his fork to start eating his food but is only able to pick at the food asking if they could leave after the first twenty minutes. Megan agrees and they leave in silence. Jensen catches one last look at the man he loves before dropping his head down and walking out.

 

 

“Jared are you okay. This has got to be a sign, honey twice in one night. Maybe someone is trying to give you a shove in the right direction.” Carrie tries to give him a shove with her words.

 

“No Carrie. Let’s wait until they leave and then another few minutes then get out of here. You can drop me at home.” Jared looks about as bad as Jensen did when he was told to basically leave.

 

How could this happen twice in one day. First running into them at the theater and then here at the restaurant, he didn’t see how this was anything but pure coincidence. A bad set of circumstances that the universe threw at him to test his reserves. Not ten minutes later Jensen and Megan walked out of the building and five minutes later Jared and Carrie left too.

 

Once they leave and Carrie drops him at home Jared cries himself to sleep in his lonely bed. Looking across the room at the items he and Megan had found and purchased earlier in the week.

 

While across town Jensen is sitting at the bar waiting for Chris to show up so they can do the show and get the hell out of San Antonio. When Chris does finally arrive Jensen is well on his way to being trashed.

 

“Damn it Jensen what the hell are you doing?” Chris walks up to him sitting beside him at the bar.

 

“What does it look like? I saw Jared today and he dismissed me like I was old news and looked away from me.” Jensen makes an anguished sound.

 

“Jensen, I knew it was a bad idea for you to spend so much time down here. In the same town he lives in.” Chris pats him on the back.

 

“Yeah well I’m done if Megan and them want to see me they will have to come to me from now on.” Jensen says to his almost empty glass.

 

“You want to go back to the hotel or you going to stick around.” Chris asks.

 

“I’m good. I don’t think I can sing without falling over though.” Jensen laughs into his glass.

 

  “Alright sit here and try to stay out of trouble. I’ll collect you when we are done.” Chris stands and walks to the back room.

 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 

Jared and Jensen never figured out that Megan had been behind the chance run-ins with each other on that day. Megan saw how the two looked at each other. Both of them broken and neither of them being the one to just step up and say their peace. She lost all hope of ever getting them back together from that point on. Jensen had called the following day and said he wouldn’t be down to visit anymore; it was too hard to even be in the same town as Jared and have him not even acknowledge his existence. Megan told Jensen that she understood his feelings and would be up in a couple of weeks so they could hang out.

 

Earlier in the day she had spent time with her brother helping him put the babies’ things away. It was just as bad to spend that time with him as having the phone conversation with Jensen. Jared just sat there looking at the items as he cried himself into a mess.

 

“I can see that both of you are hurting so bad, Jared how come you just turned Jensen away like that. Can you not see that this is breaking you both to pieces and it’s not going to be an easy fix for either of you?” Megan tries to reason with Jared.

 

“I know Meg but I can’t go back and fix what I have destroyed by telling him I got pregnant on purpose and then didn’t tell him and just left.” Jared says with tear filled eyes.

 

“Well don’t tell him you got pregnant on purpose you dumb ass. Tell him you missed a few days and before you realized it you were unprotected.” Megan tells her brother.

 

“What so you want me to cover a lie with another lie. Like that will go over well.” Jared shakes his head.

 

“Well the second lie isn’t as bad as the first. And then explain that you were scared because he was so adamant about not having any kids that you freaked out and felt that running was the only alternative you had.” Megan looks at him sorrowfully.

 

“Megan I don’t think any of that will work.” Jared looks at her through his bangs.

 

“He is as broken up as you are. I bet he would take you back right now even if you were expecting a litter and had teats for nursing them all.” Megan quips.

 

“Ha ha Meg I don’t think something like that is going to happen.” Jared stares at her.

 

“I’m just trying to tell you how stupid this situation is damn it.” Megan stands up and walks over to him grabbing his face and making him look at her. “You don’t even know until you try.”

 

“I can’t Megan if he turns away from me I don’t think I would be able to go on.” Jared frowns at his sister.

 

“Well like this is any way to live. Both of you feel like you’re dying and neither of you can see the cure that is right in front of your faces. He can’t get to you because you’re acting like a big idiot and you’re too damn stuck in thinking that he will walk away.” Megan stomps her foot like a toddler.

 

“Megan, can we please just stop talking about this?” Jared asks.

 

“I guess because I’m getting absolutely no where.” Megan turns and walks back to the dresser.

 

“Maybe this is the best for us to stay away from each other and let things be for right now and let me get myself set to be a father and go from there.” Jared tries to rationalize with Megan.

 

“Okay Jared I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing and deal with the two of you separate.” Megan says as she folds the little shirts and puts them in the dresser.

 

After she finished helping put everything away she leaves to go home to talk to her mom.

 

“Mom I have something to tell you and I don’t want you to be mad.” Megan looks at her mom sheepishly.

 

“What did you do Megan?” Sherry asks her.

 

“I kind of set up a meeting with Jensen and Jared and it didn’t turn out the way I hoped. They didn’t say more than ten words to each other.” Megan explains to her mother.

 

“Oh Megan that’s why I haven’t tried anything like it here at the house because I knew that it wouldn’t get me anywhere except for both boys hurting more. So I expect that they are both shot to shit right now, both wallowing in their own little worlds.” Sherry looks at Megan.

 

“Yeah Jared is feeling pretty much the same as he has been for ever and Jensen isn’t coming back to San Antonio, if we want to see him we have to go to Austin. I messed it up worse than it already was.” Megan looks teary eyed.

 

“No nothing could make it worse than it already is. These two boys just can’t seem to get on the same page with each other.” Sherry hugs Megan to her side.

 

As the months pass by Megan still goes up to see Jensen. Sherry and Gerry have been up to see him a total of 6 times and have made sure he understands even if Jared isn’t with him anymore doesn’t mean they are dropping him as family. They really do love him and want to stay connected to him as such. Megan would go out with Jensen when she was up. They even went to many of Kane’s gigs together. Megan reminds him very much of his own sister before she became overly influenced by his parents. He still feels rather stupid for telling them about the break-up. They have hounded him unbearably since he had told them and he keeps telling them that he is fine and doesn’t want to date any of the people, usually female, that they keep throwing at him. He also refuses to spend any time with his family and he was right when he told Chris his mother offered to pay for the divorce. He told her to back off and he wasn’t getting a damn divorce because he wasn’t ready. And also when he was good and ready he could pay for his own damn divorce and she needed to keep her nose out of his marriage.

 

Jared how ever did not spend as much time with Megan or his parents. He was working as much as he could saving and scrimping to save as he could to get what he needed and have money for when he had to go on maternity leave. He did manage to talk to Megan after her weekends with Jensen and see that he was doing better to a point but still hanging on to the notion that Jared was still his and no one could change that thought.

 

When Jared went to his eighth month appointment the twins had settled into the birthing position and had been fighting for two months for room. He felt big as a house and thought he looked like one too. He was resigned to sitting at a rolling chair at work because standing for longer than ten minutes made him want to fall over. His balance was shot and had to walk at a very slow pace. Carrie, George and Fred laughed at him because if he waddled anymore he would have to walk around going quack, quack. Which he informed them that it wasn’t fuckin’ funny and wanted to know how they would feel about walking around with an exercise ball in their stomachs?!

 

At the doctor’s appointment Jessica wanted to know if he felt as pitiful as he looked. He informed her that he wasn’t pitiful, but in extreme discomfort and that it’s was seriously time for them to come out like now. Unfortunately since he was doing so well at keeping them baking Dr. Madison decided to take him off work until he went into labor. Which damn it; could be another month or more before they showed up and that all depended on if his body ever got tired of carrying the twins around?! It sucked because he wasn’t comfortable anywhere at any time.

 

After his appointment he went to his parents to whine to his mother where she informed him that Jeff was two weeks late and he was three days early. While as for Megan cooked until her actual due date.

 

“You do know that you are not making me feel any better right momma.” Jared laughs at the happy expression on his momma face.

 

“Yes I know but those two will come when they are damn ready to. No sooner, no later. You have just given your entire life over to those babies and they will rule you until they decide to go on their way but still come back to give you a heart attack when you least expect it.” Sherry smiles slyly at her very pregnant son.

 

Jared’s shoulders slump over as he looks at his mother. “I’m just so tired all the time, my feet are swelling and my back is killing me.”

 

“That’s what you get for getting pregnant and then not having any one to take care of you. You need to go home and lie down and relax. Get as much sleep as you can. Don’t worry about getting your house clean or setting up what can wait for someone else to do for you. When you go to have those babies Megan and I will take care of those things. You need not worry about them.” Sherry cups Jared head in her hand.

 

“Okay momma.” Jared hugs his mom and stands to go home coming to a slow rise. He waits a minute or so before he waddles to the door with Sherry following close behind him. She makes sure he gets in the car and tells him to call her when he gets home and in bed.

 

Two nights later he is awoken with a very wet dream he thought at first, but then realizes that his water broke while he was asleep. His back is killing him and the contractions are about fifteen minutes apart and damn if it doesn’t fuckin’ hurt. He reaches for his phone calling his momma letting her know that it was time to go to the hospital. She makes it there in ten minutes, grabbing Jared and his hospital bag and they are out the door.

 

When they get there Jared is a mess of nerves and can think of many other things he would rather be doing at 3 o’clock in the morning. The idea of going in to labor has him more scared than when he found out he was having twins. When Dr. Madison walks in the room the first words that come out of his mouth were if she wasn’t sure he couldn’t just have a cesarean and forget about the actual labor. Dr. Madison informed Jared that would be the end result if labor took too much out of the twins and him. And that a c-section would be a hard heal for him since males took longer to recover from them.

 

Finally after twelve hours of hard labor to get to ten centimeters he was able to start pushing. It only took another 45 minutes for Baby A to crown and another five for her to appear completely. But Baby B the little boy was a little more stubborn. Instead of just falling in line and following his sister out he waited another three hours to appear. Dr. Madison had told Jared sometimes it happens that way. Some babies could take days to be born. That thought almost made Jared break down in tears. Sherry was standing there rubbing his arm as he shuttered. But when Baby B finally did descend down Jared was damn near too tired to even push him out. As much as Dr. Madison did not want to she had to use forceps to help extract him from Jared also having to perform an episiotomy on him which warrants sutures.

 

When Jared was finally ready to meet his twins he was just ready to lie down and pass out. But for both of his children that desperately reminded him so much of Jensen with their blonde hair and long lashes. He wouldn’t be able to truly know their eye color for at least six months were blue for right now favoring neither of them. He stayed awake to be able to hold them both for awhile until he fell asleep holding them and his mom removed them from his arms. He didn’t have the time to offer the twins names before he passed out. He hadn’t even discussed the names with any of his family. They were sent to the nursery as Baby Girl Ackles and Baby Boy Ackles beings that was still Jared last name. They were still legally married.

 

The next Jared knew it was well after midnight and he was very sore and hungry. His mother had woke him up long enough to tell him she was going home to get some sleep and would see him and the babies tomorrow. He rung for the nurse he wanted to see if he could get something to eat. She came in and checked his stitches and helped him sit up and brought him in a sandwich and a pudding. After he was done eating she brought the twins in for a proper visit with their father. The little girl was the only one awake when they arrived in the room. She stared at him through bright eyes. He sat there staring at her picking out Jensen feature on her. She had his cheek bones, eyelashes, his pouty lips, chin and nose. Somehow she had ended up with Jared’s forehead. Both of his children had Jensen’s blonde hair. He had a feeling that was fate at work. It would make him remember every day what he had walked away from because he was afraid.

 

“Well, little girl, I guess I should give you your official name, huh? How do you like Annabella Marie?” Jared kisses her on her forehead.

 

At that moment her brother decided it was time for him to also wake up. Fortunately the bassinet was close enough for him to lay Anna down between his legs and reach over and pick up his baby boy.

 

“And you little boy is guess you deserve to have your own name too, huh. How do you like Brayden Ross? That is your other daddy’s middle name Ross, Jensen Ross I will tell you both all about him as you grow up.” He reaches down to rub Anna on her belly while he holds Brayden close to his chest. He can see Jensen just as much in Brayden as he can in Anna. Jared feeds both of his children and then the nurse takes them back to the nursery after giving Jared his dose of pain reliever which he is grateful for.

 

The next morning he is woken up by the nurse coming in to check his vitals and stitches also to let him know his children were up if he was ready for them. He asked if he would be able to get a shower before they were brought in. She said he could eat and take a shower first. She told him he would also be learning how to bathe his children properly today along with having to watch the shaken baby video.

 

About a half an hour after his shower the twins where brought in and he was sitting on his inflatable donut in the chair. Getting around now was worse than when he was pregnant. His nether region felt like it was on fire and not even that spray stuff was helping. He would have to ask what he could do to relieve it a little. Another nurse came in about ten minutes later to show him how to wash the twins. She did Brayden first and then she helped him with washing Annabella. By the time that was done Jared wished he could just lie back down and sleep the rest of the day. But it was time to feed them and his mother and sister had just showed up and the nurse was bringing in a sitz bath for his rear end. He left the feeding up to his family and the nurse instructed him on how to use the bath.

 

After he was done with the warm water bath on his tender rear end he came out to find the twins asleep and his sister telling his mother how much the twins reminded her of Jensen.

 

“I wonder if they will have Jensen’s green eyes or will they have a shade that is a mix of both of them. Do you see how Anna has Jensen’s nose and Brayden has Jared. It’s just the little things that are slightly different between them.” Sherry comments.

 

“Yes I see it.” Megan grins down at the little girl she is holding.

 

“They are so beautiful aren’t they?” Jared asks as he walks over to the bed.

 

“Absolutely and positively, but I might be just a little prejudice being that I love their daddy’s very much.” Sherry says with tears in her eyes.

 

“I know, momma, I know.” Jared looks away from her tears.

 

“Do you want me to have the nurse take them back to the nursery?” Megan asks.

 

“Yeah because I am very tired after yesterday might as well sleep before they come into wake me up again. I don’t understand if I’m supposed to rest why they keep coming into check on me.” Jared says confused.

 

“Because they want to make sure the bleeding isn’t too bad and the stitches aren’t getting infected.” Sherry replies. “You’re lucky you don’t bleed as long as us women.”

 

“Mom that’s just gross. I didn’t want to know all that.” Megan whines.

 

“Well I don’t want to feel it.” Jared whines back at his sister.

 

“Well like I said be lucky you only bleed for about a week. We can bleed for up to six weeks.” Sherry replies.

 

Megan goes to get the nurse to take the babies to the nursery, and then they say goodbye and promise to be back later.

 

They end up keeping Jared for four days because he was so sore. Then everyone descends on his apartment when he arrives home. His flat is overflowing with people. The little space can barely handle the extra seven people, he almost feels like he is suffocating. Jared, being rather relieved when everyone leaves, sits down and calls Chad who is still living in Austin. Chad is rather confused about the situation; still wondering why Jared is in San Antonio and Jensen is in Austin. But he does not question Jared when he finds out that the kids’ have been born at last.

 


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 

Jensen hadn’t heard from any of the Padalecki’s in about a week so he calls Megan.

 

“Hey Megan I was just wondering where you have been haven’t heard from you recently.” Jensen asks.

 

“Oh Jensen I didn’t mean to worry you. I should have called you and let you know I was going to be really busy. There has been a lot of things going on lately.” Megan says.

 

“Hopefully nothing bad?” Jensen inquires.

 

“No nothing bad. Things are going well here.” Megan wishes she could tell him more information as to what is actually going well. “I’m going to try and come up this weekend if things work out right.”

 

“Okay that will be good. I’m not going to be doing anything this weekend. Chris doesn’t even have a gig.” Jensen replies.

 

“Maybe we can all sit down and have a meal together. It has been awhile since we have just sat down and talked like normal people without the music going and being in a bar.” Megan replies wistfully.

 

“That would be nice but I don’t know what Chris and Steve are doing. I’ll need to ask them.”

 

“That’s fine even if they can’t come we can just eat on our own.” Megan says.

 

“Okay I’m going to let you go and I’ll see you this weekend.” Jensen says as his goodbye.

 

“Alright, Jensen later.” Megan ends the call.

 

“Who were you talking too?” Chris asks walking into the living room. Jensen moved in with Chris and Steve when the house was sold. No need to find his own place when they offered their spare room.

 

“Megan, I haven’t heard from her for about a week and wondered if everything was okay. She wants to try and come down this weekend so we can eat a real dinner with each other and she wanted to know what you guys are doing this weekend.” Jensen informs him.

 

“We aren’t doing anything. It’s just a weekend to relax and a real meal sounds good.” Chris smiles.  “Who’s cooking?”

 

“Hopefully Megan. It was her suggestion.” Jensen smirks at Chris.

“Yeah I hope. I’m getting tired of eating the same shit all the time. It seems like we can only make the same things with as much as we are here.” Chris smirks at Jensen’s mock hurt face.

 

“My cooking is not that bad.” Jensen walks by Chris cuffing him in the back of the head.

 

“I’m not saying its bad just that I’m tired of eating the same shit all the time.” Chris protests loudly.

 

“You do know you can pick up a pan or skillet every once in a while too.” Jensen says from down the hall.

 

“Yeah but then what would you do.” Chris asks.

 

“Bitch about your cooking.” Jensen says as he returns to the kitchen with his suit jacket so he can leave for work.

 

“Go to work and leave me alone.” Chris replies.

 

“What does it look like I’m doing?!” Jensen erupts in a laugh.

 

Chris thinks about how good it sounds to finally hear him do that again after so long. He watches his best friend walk out the door. He wonders if Jensen will ever move on from Jared or if he will forever be tied down by the man that basically threw him to the curb. And none of them know what the real reason why Jared bolted like that. It has to be something besides just that Jensen didn’t want kids. He is still pissed that he hasn’t seen Jared because he really wants to beat the shit out of him. He will only beat him down until he fesses up to what he did and why.

 


	18. Chapter 18

 

Chapter 18

Three years later.

 

Jared was woke up this morning by two very fussy three year olds, they are still adjusting to the move from San Antonio to Houston and not seeing their grandparents, aunts, cousins and uncle as frequently. He really wishes that they would give it a break though because he was tired the transfer had been a god sent but the twins see it as true torture. They don’t know anybody at day care and are having a really hard time making new friends. Jared had been called about three times in one week to talk to them on the phone because they had both broke down at nap time. The transition had been hard for him, too. He could not rely on any of his family because they lived to far away to help him but they were coming down every other weekend to spend time with the kids. Megan still went to Austin twice a month to spend time with Jensen and his parents saw him now and again. From what Jared could get from Megan Jensen tried to date at times but it would always end badly. The people he tried to date didn’t understand his commitment issues since his estranged husband left him. But neither one of them had filed for divorce. Jared because every penny he made he needed to support him and the kids and Jensen because maybe he was still holding out that Jared would finally come back.

 

Jared gets up and walks into the twin’s room and sees that once again it looks like a tornado had touched down and not even in tornado season. He hangs his head and tells them they have about ten minutes to get it looking half way decent before they had to come out and eat breakfast get dressed and head out. Both of them groan because why do we have to go there is said in unison.

 

Jared carefully tells them that he has to go to work if they want someplace to destroy on a daily basis and a place for Henry and Henrietta to sleep, those are their stuffed turtles that Jane, Jeff’s wife got them for their first birthday, they needed to get a move on. He knows they are still too young to understand that cleaning will take less time if they don’t destroy it as bad. And he also knows that he can’t expect Anna and Brayden to get the concept of hurrying up so if they just put a couple of their toys away he will be happy. He leaves them to it and goes to get the bowls of cereal made and juice poured into the cups and tells them to come eat.

 

Jared watches as the twins get milk all over the table and cereal on their night clothes along with the juice that dribbles down their chins. There will be enough time for him to wipe them off, get himself dresses, them dressed, into the car, to daycare and them to get an extra strong coffee and then head to the morning meeting before actually starting his day. With having control over head management of the front desk he now makes sure everything runs smoothly on a daily basis except Saturday and Sunday that was his one condition for accepting the job in Houston. The hours are slightly longer and the pay is really higher because of the added responsibility but Anna and Brayden have been feeling the loss of time spent with them too. It makes Jared feel bad for moving them but had to do what he needed to. He had been just scraping by for the last two years and really needed the added income. His sister still tells him that if he would have just told Jensen that he was pregnant he wouldn’t be worrying about money right now. Same old, same old.

 

Jared takes a breath as he herds the twins to the bathroom to get them cleaned up and dressed. Unbelievably they aren’t as bad as they looked at the table. He is thankful he was able to get them both potty trained before the move with his mother’s help of course. And he kept his promise from the hospital to tell them about their Daddy Jensen. He tells them about how they meet and when he proposed. What he liked to eat and more trivial things but he never forgets to tell them that they are loved by everyone.

 

 Jared rushes through getting ready for work, ushering the toddlers to the elevator and to the car. When they pull into the daycare both kids start to whine.

 

“Papa me don’t want to go here. Nobody like me.” Annabella whines.

 

“Papa me doesn’t like them. They’s mean in there.” Brayden chirps in.

 

“Anna, Bray we have talked about this many times. It’s not that they are mean to you it’s just that you are both used to staying with family and at this point none of the family is close enough to help out with taking care of you. So we will deal with this and make the best of it.” Jared has explained this every morning since they started daycare.

 

“But, Papa.”  They both whine.

“Come on you two, please.” Jared pleads.

 

The twins get out of the car after he unfastens them from their boosters. They follow him dragging their feet across to the door. “Come on step it up a little. I have to get to work.” Jared looks back over his shoulder walking to the room the kids stay for most of the day.

 

“Papa when can we go home?” Anna asks.

 

“Baby girl I will come get you right after work I promise.” Jared says.

 

“Me, too Papa?” Brayden whimpers.

 

“Yes, Brayden I will be here to get you right after work. Now the both of you come here and give me, my until later kisses and hugs.” Jared squats down and motions for them to come to him.

 

Anna kisses his cheek and tells him she wuvs him and Bray tells him he will miss him. Jared then sends them on their way. He stops to say a few quick words to their room provider and heads off to work.

 

The meeting started five minutes after he arrived. All the department heads are to show for the meeting and he was last to arrive. They understand that he has the twins to get off to daycare before he can be there.

 

“Ok let’s get this started. We have a big customer set up for next week if everything goes off without a hitch they will be having their yearly convention here instead of at the Austin site. We have a bigger conference area. The Morgan-Singer Ad Group will be here all week.” Ken says.

 

Jared looks at Ken with a shattered look. “Did you say the Morgan-Singer Group?” Jared asks with a shaky voice.

 

“Yes. Jared are you okay?” Ken is getting worried because Jared is white as a ghost.

 

“Yeah, I’ll explain after the meeting.” Jared offers.

 

“Okay then let’s continue. Maintenance is taking care of a leak in the 13th floor master suit.” Ken starts off with the rest of the meeting as Jared’s mind races. At the end everyone files out leaving just Jared and Ken in the room.

 

“So you want to explain what that was about?” Ken asks with seriousness.

 

“Well, my estranged husband is a head of one of the departments at Morgan-Singer and I know he will be here. It just caught me off guard.” Jared stares at a spot beyond Ken’s head.

 

“Jared, you will have to be extremely professional while he is here. You do understand that right?” Ken emphasis each word.

“Yes Ken no doubt. I will treat him like every other patron of the hotel with the utmost respect.” Jared nods his head.

 

“Okay just as long as we are on the same page with this.” Ken confirms.

 

“Yes we are. I need my job.” Jared finally looks him in the eye.

 

“Okay get to work then.” Ken dismisses him.

 

Holy shit. I’m fucked runs through Jared head as he makes his way downstairs. The other front end girl, Donna looks at him when he finally makes it down there, “Hey are you okay you look like you have seen a ghost?” She asks.

 

“Yeah I just found out that the company my estranged husband works for will be here all next week and I’m a little freaked out, but I will be okay. You know the saying suck it up buttercup; well I guess I better suck it up.” Jared gives a self-deprecating laugh.

 

“Oh. Well I’ll try and play buffer if I can. Don’t know how well it will work though.” Donna tries to reassure Jared that she will help if she can.

 

“I don’t know how well it will either.” Jared looks back at her.

 

After work and picking up the twins he calls his mom so he can talk.

 

“Momma.” Jared says wrecked.

 

“Jared what’s wrong? Are the kids okay?” Sherry is worried.

 

“The kids are fine, but Jensen’s company is having their conference at the hotel next week and I’m freaking out. What am I going to do?” Jared is beside himself with worry.

 

“Jared you just do your job and everything will go fine.” Sherry tells him.

 

“But what if I screw up and he finds out. What will I say to him? How do I explain that yes I have kids and they are his?” Jared sobs into the phone. This is his worst nightmare come to life in Technicolor.

 

“Jared you need to stop worrying that something bad is going to happen until it happens if it even gets that far. Be nice and respectful and do your job.” Sherry stern motherly voice comes across the line.

 

“But if he finds out then he will know everybody has lied to him for over three years and then he will be mad at you guys, too.” Jared is almost hysterical.

 

“Jared worst case scenario is the one you just said.”

 

“No momma worst case scenario is he takes my babies.” Jared realizes he has fucked up. Jensen could really put the screws to him if he finds out that Jared had his kids and never told him. Damn it he’s been stupid all these years the kids have Jensen’s last name and he couldn’t deny that they belonged to Jensen just by looking at them. From the top of their heads to their toes they were mini-Jensen’s, their eyes even ended up being green.

 

“Jared you need to stop and breath. The only thing you are going to do is give yourself a nervous breakdown. I don’t think Jensen will try and take them away from you. He’s going to be damn pissed off, that’s for sure, but to take them away I don’t think so.” Sherry advises.

 

“You don’t know how hateful he could be when we used to fight about having kids. He would say mean things. And show so much anger. But then like a switch would flip he would be okay in the morning like nothing had happened. He was never physical but he would walk away.” Jared shakes his head even knowing that his mom couldn’t see it.

 

“Jared there had to be another reason besides him just not wanting to have kids for him to act that way. You should have taken him up on his offer to go to therapy and you would have found out that reason.” Sherry tells him.

 

“Momma I need to focus on the here and now not the past.” Jared argues.

 

“You’re bringing up the past talking about how you used to fight about having kids. Now you need to settle down and worry about what you are going to do if he finds out. How are you going to explain those children to their father and how are you going to introduce those children to him because if he finds out; you have to let him meet them.” Sherry tells her son sternly.

 

“Momma I’m freaking out as it is; how am I going to be able to do this?” Jared is near to his breaking point.

 

“You should have thought about that before you left, Jared. I am not going to baby you with this. Stand up and be the man who took it upon his own to walk away and destroy the family he could have had. Now you had better start thinking and I mean strong and hard because you have a lot to decide on.” Sherry says sharply. “I tried my damnest with you, Jared, and you would not listen. Try as I might I could not get you to think about your choice. I knew that one day you would have to deal with this and it looks like the day has come. You better hope you can figure it out. And you had better damn sure make it clear that if we told you would have run and we wouldn’t even know what happened, because that boy isn’t going to take this out on us.” Sherry is pissed now because Jared started all of this.

 

“Momma.” Jared says.

 

“No Jared you know how I felt about this since the beginning maybe you should call your father if you are looking for a sympathetic shoulder because it’s not me. Jared if you would of fuckin’ used that head of yours you wouldn’t be in this position.” Sherry says.

 

Jared is taken back his mom has never talked like that. He knows that she must be extremely pissed with him. He is unable to say anything to her.

 

“Now you will use your head and you will stay calm and collected if Jensen finds out and you will be respectful and you will tell him the truth if it kills you.” Sherry states. “Now Jared you do understand me right.”

 

“Yes momma I understand. I’m sorry that I let everything get this bad. I will figure this out and make it right.” Jared quietly responses to her words.

 

“Thank you and be sure to keep in contact with me. I am done holding punches with you. I do love you because you are my child but I do not have to like you right now.” Sherry says calmly.

 

“Yes Momma. I’m sorry.” Jared replies.

 

“I love you, Jared.  It’s time for you to stand up and take the responsibility for your actions. I’m sorry that I lost my temper. But this has eaten at me for almost four years and I cannot take it any longer.” Sherry has calmed down considerable.

 

“Yes Momma. I understand. I love you, too. I will take all responsibility for my actions and if he finds out I will tell him I made you all keep my secret on threat that I would run and disconnect from you all, not just him.” Jared confirms.

 

“Thank you, Jared that’s all I ask. I love him as much as I love you. You brought him into this family. And he is one of us now.” Sherry says. “May I talk to Anna and Bray please?”

 

“Yes but then I need to fix supper and get them in bed.” Jared holds the phone away from his mouth and calls for the kids. When they are done he says his goodbyes and hangs up.

 

He never thought that his mom would go off on him like that and make him see that he had brought this down upon them all by his self and he had denied that for the last three, almost four and a half years. Jared had been a big pussy when it came to facing Jensen and telling him he was pregnant and had even threatened his family with disappearing off the face of the earth. He should have known that with life getting better that something would uproot that easiness. He would have never thought that it would be Jensen finding out about the twins that would total change his life. He had thought he was in the clear with that one. Clearly he was wrong. Jensen would be in town for a whole week and he had to watch his every action because one slip would undo everyone’s lives as it presently was.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 

Author’s note I did a name change on Jensen boss’ name from John to Jeff.

 

Jared thought long and hard over the rest of the week about what to do ‘If the shit hit the fan’. The most unrealistic options was to run away screaming like a mad man and to fall off the face of the earth like he had threatened to his family but that would crush both Annabella and Brayden. So his only option left are to suck it up and deal and then to tell the truth however hard that might be. His mother had been right he should have just stood up and told Jensen after they had that fight. Stayed and dealt with anything that might have happened. But he didn’t want Jensen to see him as disgusting for getting pregnant on purpose or to leave him because he was pregnant. He had thought that leaving was the only option he had. So he left maybe if he hadn’t been so worried about what might have happened and just fessed up they would be a family of four together instead of a single married man separated from another single married man living with their children on the other side of the state. So he is resigned to just be straight up with Jensen about the twins if he finds out and just hope that Jensen doesn’t draw his own conclusions about the twins. As he sat and thought about it over the week he hoped Jensen didn’t think he cheated on him and that was the reason why he had run. He just hopes that once Jensen sees them both that he will know without a doubt they are his.

 

With it being Monday the group from Morgan-Singer had showed up yesterday, on Sunday his day off. The morning is quiet which means he should be safe for the rest of the morning but the afternoon probably won’t work in his favor the group will be coming and going for lunches and maybe sightseeing.

 

The afternoon starts off without a hitch until around two when a group come back and at the front of the line stands Jensen and his boss, Jeff Morgan. Jared holds his breath as they walk up to the desk. Jeff bows his head to Jared seeing recognition in his eyes.

 

“Jared. What are you doing here I thought you worked in San Antonio?” Jensen snippily asks.

 

“I just transferred here last month.” Jared face is red. He feels like he is in front of a firing squad waiting for his death.

 

“Oh Megan hasn’t said anything about it. It must have slipped her mind. How have you been?” Jensen asks fondly.

 

“I’ve been fine just working a lot. And how have you been?” Jared asks.

 

“I guess I’m okay.” Jensen says.

 

“That’s good. I hope your meetings go well and you enjoy your stay in Houston. Excuse me.” Jared says as Donna comes up and interrupts them because she has a question.

 

“I’ll see you later Jared.” Jensen waves as he walks away.

 

“Damn as if that wasn’t a hard conversation. I could feel the tension in the air” Jeff looks over at Jensen.

 

“I haven’t seen him in almost four years. And the last time I saw him he dismissed me. He hurt me bad Jeff and I could never quite get over him.” Jensen looks at his boss with sad eyes.

 

“I know Jensen. Why didn’t you ever get a divorce so you could get some closure?” Jeff asks him.

 

“Well I always hoped he would come back. And I didn’t have the balls to let him go.” Jensen smiles. “I love him and that never changed.”

 

“I believe you. Your really tight with his family aren’t you?” Jeff asks.

 

“Yeah they have been so mad with him at times. His sister is closer to me now then with him. She spends every other weekend with me. She’s more of a sister to me then my own sister.” Jensen replies.

 

“Well that’s cool for you. If I remember right you had a hard time when the two of you got together with your family right.” Jeff comments.

 

“That’s an understatement. My family disowned me because I was gay and wanted to have a life with Jared and then married him.” Jensen gives a little laugh. “I guess the joke was on me. He left.”

 

“I’m sorry Jensen.” Jeff pats him on the back.

 

“Not your fault we had issues and he refuses to discuss them. We fell apart and it never got fixed.” Jensen shakes his head.

 

“Well if you need to talk while we are here just come find me I’ll listen. I don’t know much about your kind of relationship but I’ve been married as long as dirt’s been around so maybe I can find away to help.” Jeff offers.

 

“We’ll see how things go.” Jensen says.

 

They part ways and go to their separate rooms. Jensen calls Megan and asks her why she never told him that Jared had moved to Houston and changed jobs. She said it had totally slipped her mind because she and James had a tough couple of weeks. They were just starting their relationship and had a few things they really needed to work on.

 

Jensen said he understood and said goodbye. He called Sherry and talked to her about what he was feeling. He told her that he was conflicted about seeing Jared after so long. He wanted to embrace him and tell him he still loved him and wanted him to come back on one hand and the other he wanted to take him out in the parking lot and beat the shit out of him. She understood that. Said last week when Jared found out that the Morgan-Singer group was holding the conference at the Houston site he called her having a breakdown. She told Jensen that she had not been a very nice person when she told him to stand up and take it like a man and that he needed to be truthful. They said their goodbyes after talking about random things.

 

Jensen later wondered why Sherry would tell Jared to be truthful. What was he hiding that he would have to be truthful about? He also wondered if Jared would sit down and just have a simple normal conversation with him. He decided to go downstairs and see if Jared was still here. When he got downstairs Jared was talking to that other woman about something.

 

“Jared.” Jensen tries to get Jared’s attention.

 

“Oh, hi. I wasn’t expecting to see you again today. I would have thought you and your fellow Ad Execs would still be hard at work.” Jared says.

 

“No we are done for today. I was wondering if we could sit down and just have an average conversation with each other.” Jensen inquires.

 

“I’m kind of busy right now and when I get off I need to go home because I have to be here early for meetings.” Jared says.

 

“Oh okay maybe another time then.” Jensen turns around to leave.

 

“Jen I’m sorry I don’t want this to be hard. I want us to get along. I just don’t have the time right now.” Jared pleads.

 

Jensen looks at him with tears in his eyes and turns back around and leaves him looking after him.

 

After he leaves Donna asks if that was Jensen and Jared tells her yes.

 

“He looked pretty upset. Yeah he didn’t take me leaving very well. But he walked out first.” Jared hangs his head.

 

“It will be okay Jared. Just keep your cool and it will work it’s self out. I’m sure of it.” Donna pats his hand that is lying on the counter.

 

“Yeah if you say so.” Jared replies.

 

Donna smiles at him as she walks away from the counter to go to laundry to get a patron a new pillowcase because there was a spot on the one they had and refused to take the one housekeeping was offering.

 

Jared looked at his watch he had another half hour before he got off and went to pick up the twins. Then it was supper, bathes and bed for them. He still had to do three loads of laundry and clean the kitchen before he could go to bed and be up by seven. Maybe he could do one load, start the next one and then put it in the dryer in the morning. He could get to sleep and extra hour early and still get up at seven. Supper would be hot dogs and French fries with extra ketchup. He needed to get to the grocery store so they could eat something nutritious. Maybe he could go tomorrow before he picked the kids up. He would pay for the extra half hour. Before he even realized it the half hour was over and Maria was their ready to take over.

 

As he walks into the daycare Annabella and Brayden attack him. He has his arms full of three year olds and a teacher that looks like she is ready to pull her hair out.

 

“Anna and Bray, could you go over there and play with the toys for a few minutes while I talk to your Papa, please just for a few minutes.” Robin asks.

 

“What happened?” Jared asks.

 

“They have been at each other’s throats all day. First Annabella was pulling Brayden hair and then he was hitting her with the pillow at nap time, then arguing over who had been born first. They were just having a day where they could not get along at all. Thought I should give you a heads up before you got them out of here.” Robin informs Jared of the kid’s behavior.

 

“Thank you, Robin. I’ll talk to them. Explain that they can’t beat the crap out of each other. I’m sorry that they cause so many problems on a daily basis, Robin.” Jared huffs.

 

“Jared I work in a daycare that has kids of all different ages that come from different backgrounds some of them are bound to fight especially siblings.” Robin smiles at Jared.

 

“Yeah my sister has disliked me for about four years. She just tolerates me. But I guess that’s life.” Jared tells Robin.

 

“Are you okay? You seem down.” Robin asks.

 

“Nothing I can’t handle. I’m going to get those two home and have a nice talk with them.” Jared waves at Robin as he goes to collect his kids.

 

“Come on you two. We need to get home.” Jared grabs their bags and ushers them out to his truck. “We are going to have a talk after supper before you guys get to go play. You both know not to be mean to each other.”

 

“But Papa Anna Started it.” Brayden whines.

 

“But you said I was a baby and I not a baby anymore I big girl.” Anna comes back with her own whine.

 

“Okay we will discuss it after supper. Now will you two please be quiet and stop arguing.” Jared asks.

 

“Yes Papa.” They chime out together.

 

The rest of the drive home is quiet. The twins did seem to be getting along while he made supper and then they discussed the day they had and what had started the fight to begin with. Annabella said that, “Bayden had said he was older than me and I know I was born before him. He wouldn’t listen to me when I told him so.” Anna told her Papa.

 

“Okay, Brayden is that why you where hitting your sister with the pillow?” Jared asks.

 

“Yes she was being all loud and wouldn’t let me say anything.” Brayden explains.

 

“But you were being wrong and wouldn’t listen to me either.” Anna quips right back.

 

“Okay okay you two need to settle down and listen to me.” Jared looks from one of them to the other. “So you both know that Annabella is about three hours older then you Brayden. And pulling hair and hitting with pillows are both wrong to do. So tonight you both go to bed without your snacks.” Jared tells the teary eyed pair as they look back at him.

 The twins shake their heads and head to their bedroom to play until bath time.

 

Jared feels bad that he took away their snack but he need to nip this in the butt before they took it to the next level as in drawing blood. Those two may only be three but they have come up with some amazing things to get each other in trouble.

 

There was one time that Anna had Bray down and his hair was pulled up into four different ponytails, then Bray had retaliated by cutting the hair off of her favorite dolls. That was more than one doll. He lost his favorite truck for a week for that. He got up and went to the kitchen to do the dishes and clean up the rest before starting Bray’s bath. He does them separate so he can spend just that small amount of time alone with each one of them. That in its self is a very rare occurrence to share alone time with each one. He puts the clothes in the dryer and starts another load; he thinks he might actually get all three loads done tonight. Jared heads into the bedroom to pull out their bed clothes and tells Brayden he’s first tonight which gets a moan of a child that doesn’t want to take a bath at all. Annabella was so much easier in the bath. Brayden fought to get his hair washed. It was a fight from the minute he steps into the bathroom. Anna on the other hand was a joy in the bath. She lets him shampoo and condition her hair and then wash her up. She plays with her water toys then he gets her out and she gets dressed and she goes right to sleep.

 

But with Brayden he rolls around and complains about being cold then hot, having to go pee then being thirsty until Jared gets stern. It makes Bray look at him with sad eyes but he goes to sleep.

 

After that fight Jared sits on the couch and folds the two loads of clothes he had gotten done the third in the dryer. He will let them be until tomorrow night. It’s past eleven when he finally gets to bed. He had vegged out in front of the TV for a while and almost feel asleep on the couch. He goes to bed and next he knows its morning and it starts again.

 

Four hours later he is confronted with Jensen again today wondering if he would be willing to go to lunch with him. Jared wanted to decline but just stood there as Donna came up and told him that the daycare was calling something about Annabella throwing up all over the class. As he looked up he saw the stark white face of his husband staring back at him wide-eyed, mouth agape.

 

“You have a daughter? When where you going to tell me, never?” Jensen says as the tears roll down his face.

“I can’t talk about this right now Jensen I have to go pick up my kids if one is sick the other is too.” Jared looks at Jensen’s wrecked face.

 

“You have more than one?” Jensen stammers.

 

“They are three year old twins. I will see you later. We can discuss it then.” Jared looks at Donna as she looks away because she knows she has caused the problem.

 

Jared walks out of the building balling his hands up into fists. He walks to his truck and beats his head on the steering wheel and yells Fuck, fuck, fuck. Then picks up his phone to call the daycare to see how bad Anna is. She has a 101.2 fever and has thrown up three times. Brayden seems to be just fine. On the drive over he calls his mother to let her know that the shit has just hit and Jensen now knows. But that Anna is sick and he didn’t have time to explain and to expect a call from him soon. It will be a bad he knows it will be. He hangs up from his mother and goes into retrieve his kids. And they are his kids. Anna is pretty bad. She is crying and her head is stopped up and she’s hot. He decides to take her home and see if Megan can come over and sit with her while he goes to the store and maybe go try and talk to Jensen after he gets Anna settled down. He does have some stuff to tie her over until Megan gets there.

 

She tells him the only reason she is coming over is because Annabella is sick and if there was any other reason he would be fending for himself. He does inform her that Jensen does now know that the twins exist. She is slightly thrown back by that knowledge. Not understanding how he found out. Jared tells her he will tell her when she gets to his place.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

 

“Chris. I know why Jared left.” Jensen says as soon as Chris picks up.

 

“Jen what are you talking about?” Chris asks confused.

 

“Jared. He left because he cheated and ended up pregnant.” Jensen says.

 

“I thought you were at some Ad Execs conference why are talking about Jared. And what is this about being pregnant.” Chris is totally lost.

 

“I am at the conference. Jared works at the hotel here in Houston. I was trying to get him to talk to me and this chick comes up and tells him the daycare called and his kid is sick.” Jensen stops to take a breath.

 

“So he’s got a kid. And because he’s got a kid he cheated. So you’re thinking that’s why he took off and left.” Chris ascertains from Jensen’s logic.

 

“Yes. Actually two kids. Twins. Three year old twins. That makes them conceived about the time he left. Which means he had to of gotten pregnant about the time we started fighting all the time about having kids.” Jensen can see it all falling into place.

“Jensen. Listen to what your saying don’t you think these kids could actually be the reason he left you. Maybe you got him pregnant and the fight about kids could have been him trying to tell you he was pregnant and you walked away.” Chris says to him.

 

“Oh, Fuck. No it can’t be he was taking birth control and he knew I didn’t want any.” Jensen retorts.

 

“Jen think about it. Had there been any signs of him cheating? Did he ever show you he didn’t love you? Did you ever feel like it was the end before he left? He said he still loved you, man I don’t think he cheated I think he got pregnant and then got scared when you walked out.” Chris tells him.

 

“Chris what you’re the one who was the big supporter of beating Jared down. He couldn’t have done that could he? Jared didn’t think like that. He wasn’t that deceitful. Those can’t be my kids. They can’t be. Chris damn it you where supposed to be getting me more pissed off so I can tear him apart. Not making me doubt my own sanity.” Jensen whines.

 

“Jen I don’t know what’s going on and I can’t tell you what to do but you need to find out. If those are your kids you need to be with what’s yours.” Chris says it like a fact that should be true.

 

“Chris, Just one time is wish I knew. Just one time I wish he would have told me.” Jensen says.

 

“I’m going to let you go. Hang in there, Jensen.” Chris says as he hangs up.

 

Jensen calls Sherry as soon as he hangs up with Chris.

 

“Did you know?” Jensen asks.

 

“Jensen. You have to understand he threatened to take off and not let us know anything. Jensen why do you think we have been so hard on him and why would Megan do this to her own brother? Jensen we tried to get him to think about what he was doing. You have to believe me when I tell you that we did not agree with his decisions to leave you out of this.” Sherry pleads.

 

“But you have known all this time that he was pregnant and going to have my kids and then when he had them still kept it from me. Sherry is that why you guys have clung to me for the last three and a half years?” Jensen asks near tears.

 

“Jensen I’m sorry. PLEASE I LOVE YOU LIKE A SON. I would never intentionally lie to you. Actually we didn’t lie we just never told you the real reasons for Jared running like a little child to hide away from a fear instead of facing it.” Sherry says shakily.

 

“Sherry this is big. Are they mine? Can you at least tell me that?” Jensen asks in disbelief.

 

“They are yours Jensen without a doubt.” Sherry is crying now. “I am sorry.”

 

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Jensen hangs up the phone.

 

Okay he’s mad now. Jared’s whole family had known about this and not a one of them had said a word not on any of their visits to see him. Megan had known this whole time and kept it from him. She was like his own sister. But she had become extremely close to him like she was trying to compensate for something. Oh she has been. She was always mad at Jared for some reason and now he knew why.

 

He calls Megan and she doesn’t answer. Damn it why is this happening now. It’s been almost four years and he never even had a hint as to Jared being pregnant. Even when he ran into him that day he acted like nothing was wrong. But he never saw Jared when he was standing. Shit that’s because he was already showing and didn’t want him to see. And the dismissal was his way of hiding it. Okay he had to talk to Jared that’s the only way this is going to be resolved.

 

Twenty minutes later Megan called him back. She was driving and didn’t want to talk and drive. She was at Jared’s and would come see him when Jared got back from the store getting pedialyte for Annabella.

 

Jensen really wants to ask her questions about the kids but he holds off. He really needs to talk to Jared and beat the answers out of him. Megan says she will watch the twins so that they can talk.

 

“Well he had better hurry the fuck up because I don’t know if I can wait to get a hold of him” Jensen says.

 

“You know it’s not going to make the situation any easier if you beat the shit out of him right?” Megan asks.

 

“Right now Megan I don’t think anything would make this situation any better. He lied to me, had all of you lie to me and then had them without telling me shit. What they are about three and a half? I know absolutely nothing about two kids that are half mine. I’m going to let you go and try and clam down a little so I don’t break his fucking neck when he gets here.” Jensen hangs up.

 

Megan looks at her phone to the opening front door. “You better be ready to defend your life when you go talk to him because he’s pissed. You should have known that this was going to happen. A secret doesn’t stay a secret forever. Bro, your ass is grass.” Megan looks at Jared with a straight face.

 

“Megan language. I know I screwed up and I need to explain to him I was wrong. But right now I need to get Anna squared away. Did she throw up while I was gone?” Jared asks.

 

“No she has been sleeping. What do you want me to do?” Megan asks.

 

“When she wakes up give her about a fourth a cup of the pedialyte, if she keeps it down give her a bit more. If she is hungry see if she can eat part of a banana or some applesauce. Tell her that I love her and I will be back in a while. Is Brayden awake?” Jared asks.

 

“Yeah he is playing in your room because ‘my sister is yucky and I don’t want to catch her gross’.” Megan air quotes around the end of her statement.

 

“I’ll go check on him and then I’m going to go.” Jared walks to his room and looks in on his son. “Brayden.”

 

“Papa your back.” Bray gets up and runs to wrap himself around his papa’s legs.

 

“Hey buddy. Papa has to go talk to someone and straighten some things out because papa made some mistakes. He needs to stand up for what he did and explain his choices.” Jared tells his little boy.

 

“Where you bad papa?” Brayden looks up at him

 

“I was. Now I have to face the music. Make it right.” Jared nods his head at his son.

 

“Are you going to lose your snack?” Bray asks.

 

“No not my snack. But it’s going to be hard to explain to this person why I did what I did to him.” Jared replies.

 

“What did you do to him Papa? Was it mean?” Bray asks.

 

“Yes some people think what I did was cruel. And I will discuss it with you when you get older. I have to go now. Please be good for your Aunt Megan okay. Listen to her and do not terrorize your sister she doesn’t feel well.” Jared looks down at his son.

 

“I will listen and I don’t want to be around Anna her all gross.” Bray shakes his head.

 

“Okay I love you and will be back in a while.” Jared kisses Brayden forehead and runs his hand through his hair.

 

Walking into check on Anna but not disturbing her, she does look pathetic her cheeks are red and her hair is sticking to her forehead and the rest of her face is pale. He gives her a light kiss to the forehead and leaves her be.

 

“I will be back in a while. I will explain that Anna has the flu and I can’t stay away for long. If you wouldn’t mind make sure Brayden gets his snack and is in bed if it gets to be too late.” Jared asks looking at Megan sheepishly.

 

“Jared, it will work out. And I’ll make sure Bray gets to bed. Take as long as you need the twins will be fine.” Megan smiles at her brother.

 

Jared couldn’t decipher if it was an evil grin or if it was a true smile, “Thank you Megan.” Jared walks out the front door and drives back to the hotel. The first thing he does is go to the front desk to talk to Maria and see if she was willing to take over his shift tomorrow because it was her day off. She agreed because she didn’t take as many hours as he did and the extra money would be nice. Jared would call Ken in the morning and let him know what was going on. His next step was to make it up stairs to talk to Jensen. He paused before he hit the floor button wondering how bad this conversation was going to be. He got to Jensen’s floor and walked to his room. Standing in front of the door taking deep breathes and knocking, and then waiting hoping that maybe Jensen had stepped out for something, when the door opened with a very upset Jensen looking at him with distain. Jensen holds the door open for Jared to walk in.

 

“I just have to let you know I can’t be long tonight because Anna has the flu and she needs me but I felt like I really needed to come and at least talk to you.” Jared looks at Jensen.

 

Jensen’s jaw is drawn tight. “That’s fine. What are their names, Jared?” Jensen asks.

 

“Their names are Annabella Maria and Brayden Ross. They have your last name. They were born on October 5th, and Anna is three hours older than Bray.” Jared stops when he hears Jensen whimper. “I’m sorry Jen.”

 

“You don’t get to be sorry. You should of fucking told me Jared. Now the only thing you get to feel is remorse, because I’m going to be a thorn in your side. You stole three years from me. Hell longer than that because I could have been there for all of it, Jared.” Jensen sneers.

 

“Jensen you need to calm down.” Jared pleads.

 

“Calm down Jared. You have had all this time to get to know these children and I have had none, I could have been there for everything, but you decided that I didn’t deserve that.” Jensen stands right in front of Jared in his face.

 

“Jensen I didn’t see it like that at that time. The only thing I saw was the man I love not wanting kids and then I was pregnant and you walked away from the same fight we always had. I couldn’t stay and have you leave because you knew I was pregnant.” Jared explains.

 

“But I tried to get you to talk to me and You refused! You fucking dismissed me every time. Hell I was going to go to fucking marriage counseling for you. I have issue because of my family. That’s why I didn’t want kids. The shit they ran their mouths about. How bad they dogged us. What they said would happen if you got pregnant. About what would happen to us. But when I was final ready to spill it all you wouldn’t even try. I left that night because I was scared. I didn’t want to take that out on you and when I got back all I had left was a damn Dear John letter and nothing more. I could never really figure out why your family was always so pissed at you, well I guess I found out. And you where never going to tell me where you. Don’t answer because I already know. You weren’t.” Jensen face is red with emotion and Jared could see the tears hanging on the edge getting ready to fall.

 

“Jen..” Jared tries.

 

“Don’t call me that. You don’t have the right.” Jensen snaps.

 

“Alright, Jensen can we discuss this like adults, please.” Jared asks.

 

“Fucking talk.” Jensen sneers.

 

“When I left I had just realized I was pregnant and I was worried how you would react. Then when I got back and we fought because I casually asked how you would feel about our kids first and you lost it then left…” Jared clears his throat before going on. “Something clicked and I thought that if you reacted like that about me just talking about something like that you would react even worse if you found out about the baby. So I took it upon myself to not make it even worse.” Jared looks over at Jensen.

 

“But it was even better that you broke my heart with no explanation.” Jensen shakes his head then rolls his hand for Jared to continue.

 

“Okay I know that I could have gone about this differently now okay.” Jared says and Jensen huffs.

 

“Okay. Well I refused to tell you and that really upset my family and they so wanted to tell you but I told them that if they told you I would take off and cut all ties to everyone. They keep it quiet so I would stay. I would have run Jensen. I had those kids because it was what I wanted not what everyone else wanted. I have gotten minimal support from them all since I came home. But you need to know that we all love them. I brought pictures. Here.” Jared holds out the small album.

 

Jensen reaches across and takes it. Holding it for a moment then opening the cover. With a gasp he looks at the small babies that are captured there. So small and pudgy, both of them have blonde hair. He can’t tell much from these newborn babies. He flips through the book and see them age. As their size increases he sees more of himself in each of them, there are some small pieces of Jared there but not even as much as these are his children.

 

“How could you keep this from me? They were mine too. You have betrayed everything we said to each when we got married. I know that I had a problem with this one issue but you lied, dishonor our trust in each other, and went behind my back and hid this. But just one time did you even think to see beyond what you thought of how I would really react to the news that I would be a father. I was scared about what would happen if you did get pregnant but you took that away from me without me even knowing about it. You cheated me out of over three years.” Jensen says coldly.

 

“I know you don’t want to hear me say this but I am sorry Jensen. I was scared to death that I would lose you because I would lose you and the baby. I couldn’t lose the one thing I wanted beside you. So I left you go. These kids are my world Jensen. I love them more than anything.” Jared explains.

 

“You used to love me more than anything when did that change? When did I start to mean less than anything else? When did you start to feel that you couldn’t confide in me? Could you tell me when, Jared?” Jensen asks.

“I told you that I still loved you when I left. I still do love you.” Jared says close to tears.

 

Jensen laughs, “If you loved me then you would not have left!” Jensen screams.

 

“Jensen. You never meant less and I was scared.” Jared pleads.

 

“How could I ever believe you?. Jared you have been leading a lie since you left me. You have been pretending to be a single pregnant man and then a single father.” Jensen confronts him

 

“I never pretended to be single. I Always said I was separated from my husband. You tried to date Megan told me.” Jared comes back.

 

“Yeah I tried but I had issues because my husband abandoned me. I have commitment issues Jared, could you figure out why. Maybe because the one person I left everything for, my family, left me without one bit of explanation as to why. And to find out the one thing they warned me never to do, have kids with you, is why you left. Because you weren’t man enough to tell me you were pregnant. Now what I want from you is to see my kids. I can wait under they are no longer sick but I want to see them. And you will agree or I will make your life worse than it already is. I deserve to be a part of their lives.” Jensen sneers at Jared in malice.

 

“Jensen I never lied to them about you. I told them about you. About how we got together and how you proposed to me. What you loved and other things. I never told them why we weren’t together though they are too young to understand that. I told them about you. You are their Daddy Jensen. You can’t talk down to them about me because I never did that to you. They would never understand it if you did. They love you even though they don’t know you.” Jared whimpers.

 

“You expect me to believe your bullshit. You are so full of it. Those kids don’t know me from Adam and it is all your doing.” Jensen snickers.

 

“They know of you and that should be enough for you to treat me like an equal when we are both around them, for the sake of them. Don’t make them miserable because you can’t stand me.” Jared pleads.

 

“It’s not because I can’t stand you. It’s because I don’t know you, doubt I ever did.” Jensen looks at Jared with dislike.

 

“I need to get back to them. We can discuss you meeting them once Anna is feeling better. Bye, Jensen.” Jared turns to the door and leaves Jensen staring after him.

 

Once Jared makes it to his car the only thing he can do is sit there and breakdown. He cried for about twenty minutes and then he called Megan to let her know he was on his way.

 

When he got back home the only thing he wanted to do was go to bed but Anna had just gotten up to throw up and wanted her Papa. “Annabella, baby, are you feeling any better?” Jared asks as he cuddles her close.

“No, me tummy still hurt and I feel gross.” Anna snuffles.

 

“Do you want to try to drink some more pedialyte?” Jared offers.

 

Just at the mention of it Anna pukes all over them both. “Okay I take that as a no. Let’s get cleaned up and get you back to bed. Hopefully after some more sleep you will feel better.” Jared stands up cuddling her close.

 

“I’ll clean this up go take care of her.” Megan offers to clean up the mess left on the floor and couch.

 

“Thank you Megan.” Jared smiles sadly at her.

 

After getting them cleaned up and settled Anna into her bed, he checks on Bray and goes out to talk to Megan for a little.

 

“So how did it go?” Megan chances to ask.

 

“About as well as a jolted husband would take finding out he had kids after being separated for almost four years. He’s pissed and I did cause all of this. It is my fault. Now I need to get him to not hate me or this is going to go badly for all of us. He doesn’t believe that I’ve told the kids good things about him and they know him as their Daddy Jensen. He says he’s not sure if he ever really knew me. He doesn’t believe that I loved him or trusted him. He thinks that I betrayed our marriage by lying. That’s the most of it in a nutshell.” Jared looks over at his sister.

 

“I hate to be the one that says it but I told you so. Damn it Jared if you would of just listened to us in the beginning you would not be here now.” Megan shakes her head.

 

“I know Megan how many times do I have to tell you guys I know.” Jared gets up to go to bed. “If you want you can sleep with Bray. I’m going to go keep an eye on Anna.”

 

Jared walks into the twins’ room and walks over and crawls into the twin bed with his daughter. He pulls her to his chest, kisses her on top of the head and whispers, “I did it for you and your brother.”

 

By morning the whole house is taking turns with the toilet and being miserable. “I should have never of come here. You people made me sick.” Megan blows her nose.

 

“We at least we all have it and not just one of us. We can all be miserable together.” Jared says from under his blanket. He is holding both Anna and Bray.

 

“It all Anna fault her sick first.” Bray rumbles from his spot.

 

“Be nice Bray.” Jared admonishes.

 

“Okay Papa.” Brayden says quietly.

“I can’ts help I got sicked.” Annabella says around a cough.

 

“None of us can help that we got sick you guys. It happens.” Jared rubs both of their backs. “Here guys let me up I need to call work and let them know what’s going on.”

 

Jared untangles himself from his kids and goes to his room. He calls and talks to Ken about the kids being sick along with himself. Ken tells him not to come back until he’s better. Jared asks to be transferred to the front desk.

 

“Hey Maria.” Jared says.

 

“Jared you sound like shit.” Maria comments.

 

“Well thank you. We all caught Anna’s flu. Could you do me a favor and patch me into Jensen Ackles room please.” Jared asks.

 

“Yeah sure he’s the estranged husband isn’t he?” Maria asks.

 

“Yeah Donna told you, huh.” Jared asks.

 

“Yeah she’s really sorry she didn’t realize that he was standing there or she would have waited. So I’ll send you to his room.” Maria transfers Jared over.

 

The phone rings about three times before Jensen answers. “Hello?” Jensen sounds bad.

 

“Jensen, I just wanted to tell you I wouldn’t be around for a few days because we all caught Anna flu. But it sounds like you’re not fairing much better than any of us.” Jared says.

 

“I have thrown up all morning long no thanks to you.” Jensen tells Jared.

 

That’s what happens when kids get sick. They both had Chicken pox when Jeremy had them. Three itchy kids at once wasn’t fun.” Jared laughs.

 

“Alright I’m going to be out of commission myself, so I’m going back to bed. I’ll talk to you later.” Jensen hangs up.

 

“Well that was interesting.” Jared looks at his phone. Jared walks into the living room to find the kids huddled around Megan on the couch. All three asleep. Since they were asleep he went back to his room to sleep himself.

 


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 

When Jensen woke up this morning he wished he could have died. If he would have thought about it he would have never gotten that close to Jared. Their daughter was sick and Jared was in close contact to her. Their daughter. That was something new for him. At that thought his stomach decided it wanted to make an appearance in his mouth. He runs to the bathroom to make acquaintance with the toilet. He hates throwing up. It’s better to be hung over, at least that goes away faster. He gets up and brushes his teeth and goes back to bed. He calls Jeff to tell him he is sick and won’t be to the conference today, probably not tomorrow either. Well at least it gave him some time to think about his problem with Jared.

 

 He was a parent to a set of twins that he has never met with an estranged husband to go along with them. He doesn’t understand how Jared can justify running had made things easier. The only thing Jensen can see that it did was make everybody lie to each other. He himself had ended up with a broken heart until he found out the real reason Jared left. Now his heart wasn’t so much broken as hurt and confused. He just wanted to get a good reason why he just left. Was he such an ass that he drove Jared away? So they had a difference in opinion about having kids but he does think if Jared would have just told him he would of came around to the idea of having a kid. Now he has two that he has never met and he needed to figure out how to interact with two three year olds when he has no experience with kids’ period. He’s making his head hurt worse he needs to stop thinking about this. He’s sick and needs to sleep. Maybe he could talk to Sherry later and apologize about yesterday and see if he can get some advice on how to deal with the kids and Jared.

 

After throwing up another three times he gives up and takes a hot bath hoping it will settle his racing head. It helps him relax so he could go back to sleep. When he wakes up later he actually feels better and orders some cracker and chicken broth. Yes, chicken broth he told the kitchen. He was able to eat about half of the broth and crackers and his stomach gave a slight lurch so he stopped and set the tray outside his door and called for them to come get it.

 

He laid in his bed and just zoned out for a few minutes. When he snapped out of it he picked up his phone to call Sherry.

 

“Hello, Jensen.” Sherry answered

 

“Hello, Sherry. I wanted to call and apologize for how I talked to you yesterday. I was in a state of shock. I am still very upset though. I cannot get a straight answer out of him to save either of our lives, Sherry. I feel so much for him but I am so pissed at him right now and I can’t feel anything good for him right now either. Well besides apologizing I wanted to ah call and ask if you could give me a few pointers on dealing with the twins.” Jensen asks.

 

“Jensen they are just babies. You play with them and talk to them, love and cherish them. They are your flesh and blood. You will know what to do when you meet them, honey I’m sure you will. Just be gentle and kind, don’t let them see that you and Jared are having problems with each other. He never talked ill of you to them. He would tell them special bits about you. He still loves you but he’s also stupid. Just follow your heart and you will do just fine with them.” Sherry tells her son-in-law. “I have a friend from work that knows a counselor, now she isn’t a normal counselor but she works with people who are having problems and can’t express things right. Kind of like the two of you and she helps them see eye to eye. I meet her once and she was a little weird but she is a good person. She looked at me and knew we were having problems with you and Jared. She talked to me for awhile and made me see some of Jared’s side but she told me I was just fine to be mad with him. She told me, ‘You Couldn’t go boxin’ your feelings up because it just caused darkness within us.’. And she was right I felt better after telling Jared off and making him listen to me. I’ll give you her name if you want just let me know.”

 

“I’ll think about it Sherry. I got that flu off Jared and I’m getting tired. I’ll call you later and we can talk more, okay.” Jensen pulls the conversation to a close.

 

“Alright Jensen take care of yourself and get better. I’ll talk to you later.” Sherry ends the conversation.

 

  

  1. Jensen sits thinking about what Sherry said about the kids being his flesh and blood and he would know how to act around them. And he believes her about Jared not down talking him in front of the kids, but couldn’t believe Jared. Jared had brought that on by his self with the running and not telling him. Now Jared will have to work at getting that trust build back up. Maybe that woman Sherry mentioned would do them some good. He would have to think about it and maybe talk to Jared about it, too. He really was tired so he settled down to sleep some more hoping it would help kick this out of his system.   
  



 

When Jeff didn’t here from Jensen at all the next day he went to his door and knocked when he didn’t get an answer; he called his cell still not getting an answer. He went to the front desk to see if they would let him in.

 

“I haven’t talked to him since yesterday morning. And I can’t get an answer from the door or his phone. I think there might be something wrong with him.” Jeff tells Donna.

 

“Let me call Ken he’s the hotel manager and make sure of the protocol before I just go opening doors.” Donna says.

 

“He was sick.” Jeff tells her.

 

“Okay just give me a minute.” Donna picks up the phone calling Ken and telling him what’s going on. He tells her to call for an ambulance then go check on the room. She calls 9-1-1 and tells them they have a possible hotel patron that is in distress. The ambulance would be there in about 15 minutes.

 

Donna takes the master key up to Jensen’s room and Jeff and she unlock the door, walking into the room slowly. Jensen is lying in the bed with the covers pulled up to his chin shaking. Jeff walks over to him and touches his forehead, he’s burning up.

 

“It was just the flu. I don’t understand this.” Jeff says.

 

“If he became too dehydrated he could suffer from worse symptoms. And if it’s a severe enough case he could develop pneumonia.” Donna says.

 

“He wasn’t that sick yesterday just throwing up.” Jeff shakes his head.

 

“Well the ambulance is coming and they will take care of him.” Donna looks back at Jensen.

Jeff walks closer to the head of the bed and puts his hand on Jensen’s shoulder and shakes him lightly, “Jen, Jensen.”

 

“Jeff, what are you doing? Shit my head hurts. I feel like utter fucking shit.” Jensen says weakly.

 

“We’re getting you some help.” Jeff rubs his hand through Jensen hair. It’s stiff from his sweating and not having been washed recently. Jensen is already asleep before he’s done.

 

“I need to get a hold of Sherry Padalecki.” Jeff says.

 

“Jared’s mom is posted as his next of kin?” Donna asks.

 

“Yeah, she has been for years. Before they separated it was Jared.” Jeff says.

 

“Do you have her number?” Donna asks.

 

“Yeah I have it in my room on my laptop, but it’s going to be an hour or so before she can get here. Maybe they’ll let me go with him.” Jeff says.

 

“I could call Jared and have him get a hold of his mom?” Donna suggests.

 

“Do you think he would show up at the hospital? I don’t know how well that will go over with Jensen.” Jeff tells her.

 

“Well he is his husband.” Donna retorts.

 

“That’s estranged husband.” Jeff reminds her.

 

“Maybe it will help him with recover if he knows Jared cares.” Donna says.

 

“Or it could make it worse. He’s pretty pissed at Jared right now because of him hiding the kids from Jensen.” Jeff reminds Donna about the twins.

 

“Houston E.M.S. We were called for a sick guest.” The paramedic says.

 

“Yeah he’s right here in the bed.” Jeff motions them over.

 

“What seems to be wrong with him?” The medic says.

 

“He had the flu and I didn’t hear from him today and I couldn’t get him to answer the door or his cell.” Jeff says.

 

“Okay, my name is Gavin and this is my partner Jeremy. We will look him over and get him on his way to the hospital.” Gavin says.

 

“Okay I’m going to go get his emergency contact number and I’ll be right back. I’m his boss we were here for a conference and his estranged husband and kids are how he got the flu. We’ve worked together forever.” Jeff says. “I’ll be right back.”

 

“Okay it will take us a while. Make sure he is stable and start taking his main vitals so we’ll be here.” Gavin says.

 

Jeff leaves Donna watching over the EMT’s with Jensen and goes to look up Sherry’s number so he can call her so she can come to Houston. When he gets back to the room Jensen is on oxygen, they’ve put in an I.V. and were ready to put him on the stretcher and take him out of the room.

 

“Can I ride along so he at least has someone with him?” Jeff asks.

 

“Yes that’s fine but he’s pretty out of it. He keeps asking for someone. Somebody named Jared.” Jeremy says.

 

“That’s his husband.” Donna says.

 

“You might want to get a hold of him then.” Gavin says.

 

“I can do that.” Donna says as she looks at Jeff. He shrugs his shoulders like whatever; he wants to get Jensen looked over that’s what he cares about right now. He had called Sherry on the way back down and she had left immediately.

 

They left and took Jensen to the hospital. When he got to the hospital they give a definite diagnosis of pneumonia. They put him on a wide spectrum antibiotic through his I.V. since he wasn’t awake. They said he would sleep for a while because he was so drained. They had his I.V. open full bore and since they had it open they also inserted a catheter.

 

Back at the hotel Donna is calling Jared.

 

“Hello, Jared.” Donna says.

 

“Hey Donna what’s up?” Jared inquires.

 

“Well you know how Jensen got your guys flu. Well we had to call an ambulance to come pick him up a little while ago. He’s sick. He was asking for you when the EMT’S where checking him. Jeff called your mom and she’s on her way since she’s his emergency contact.” Donna informs Jared.

 

“How bad is he?” Jared asks getting up to get ready.

 

“High fever, barely responsive, and dehydrated. They had oxygen and an I.V. in him before they even left.” Donna explains.

 

“Alright. I’m better today I’ll go down and see what’s going on. Thank you, Donna.” Jared hangs up.

 

“Megan I have to go. Jensen is in the hospital and he was asking for me so I gotta go.” Jared says as he picks up his keys and wallet.

 

Anna and Bray look at Megan confused. Anna asks, “Is Papa talking about Daddy Jensen?”

 

“How come Papa gets to see Daddy Jensen and we don’t?” Bray asks.

 

“Well from what I understand Daddy Jensen is sick right now and you guys don’t need to see him like that. Okay. But I’m sure that your daddy’s will figure it out soon.” Megan gathers the twins to her side.

 

Megan couldn’t comprehend how the flu had made Jensen so sick. Well maybe she could he just found out that he had kids and confronted his estranged husband about it. That had to be stressful for him. It would be major to find out something like that.

 

“Do you two want something to eat? I could make you some Chicken noodle soup.” Megan offers.

 

“YES!” Both Anna and Bray say in unison.

 

“Well, sit here and watch your cartoons and I’ll be back out in a few minutes.” Megan gets up and goes to the kitchen.

 

When Jared gets to the hospital he runs into Jeff and asks if he knows anything yet.

 

“No they won’t tell me anything I’m just his boss.” Jeff shakes his head.

 

“Has my mom got here yet?” Jared asks worried.

 

“She’s about 20 minutes out. I just got off the phone with her. She’s worried.” Jeff confirms.

 

“Yeah, I wonder if they would let me in. I am his husband.” Jared looks at the nurse’s station.

 

“I don’t know. You’re not his emergency contact.” Jeff says.

 

“Well I know that but they might let me since he’s asking for me and his husband.” Jared stares back at him.

 

“The only way you’re going to know is if you try.” Jeff returns his stare.

 

Sherry arrived shortly after Jared makes it to the ER. She was allowed to go back because she was his medical emergency contact. She comes back out in ten minutes to let them know he was going to be admitted. They are putting him in ICU because of his breathing so they can keep a closer eye on him in case he has complications.

 

“Why would they put him in ICU? Is he having that much trouble breathing?” Jared asks.

 

“Jared, he has pneumonia. Even though he is on the antibiotics they haven’t had time to work through his system. Right now he needs the added attention so they know if he has distress.” Sherry looks at her son like he was stupid.

 

“Okay momma I was just making sure.” Jared looks at her like a scolded child.

 

“Jared I’m not trying to be mean but you sometimes act like you left your head somewhere else.” Sherry looks at him.

 

“Mom I’m worried about him okay. I don’t know about all this hospital stuff. You’re the one with the medical degree. I’m not a nurse. I work in hotel management.” Jared stands up to her. He’s just as worried as she is and he just hopes that Jensen talks to him again. He misses him.

 

“I’m sorry. This is the first time I’ve had to do this for him. You guys but not him.” Sherry is close to tears in all the years Jensen has been a part of the family she has never had to respond as his contact.

 

“It’s okay, momma, I’m scared, too.” Jared walks over and hugs her.

 

“I know honey. We’ll make it through. He’s strong it just caught him at a bad time.” Sherry squeezes Jared and steps back from him. “I’m going to head back now. I’ll let you know when they move him up.”

 

“Okay momma. I’m going to call Megan.” Jared nods his head.

 

“Jared do you think that maybe you could run me back to hotel? I know you want to be here, but I’m not going to get anywhere by hanging around here. I should probably call Chris too.” Jeff asks.

 

Sherry had stopped and turns around when Jeff started talking. “You know I think I can call Chris. It would be better coming from me.” Sherry looks at Jeff.

 

“If you think that’s best. But I would like to go back to the hotel.” Jeff looks back at her.

 

“I’ll run him real quick and be right back.” Jared says moving to the entrance.

 

“I’ll talk to you later Sherry. Thank you for coming.” Jeff waves at her.

 

Sherry waves back and continues on her way back to Jensen.

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

 

 

Jared was just hanging up his phone with his momma when he pulled back into the parking lot of the hospital. They had moved Jensen upstairs. Jensen was stable, breathing on his own but his fever had not broken yet. Only two people could be in the room at a time so Sherry and Jared took over the bedside chairs to see if he would wake up anytime soon.

 

After about five hours of sitting there and being tired of seeing his momma head snap back up from a hanging position, Jared told her to go to his apartment and get some sleep. He would be fine sitting here and watching Jensen. Sherry looked at Jared sluggishly at first like she couldn’t understand what he was saying. He waited for her mind to clear and then repeated himself. She agreed that she was tired and did decide to go get some sleep. Jared had called Megan earlier and the twins were already in bed. And his mom would be able to actually get some sleep. He sunk down into the chair and stretching his legs out. He used his balled up sweatshirt as a cushion to lay his head on. The next thing he knew his momma was tapping him on the shoulder.

 

Smiling down at him she asks, “Do you feel like a pretzel?” Sherry asks.

 

“Yeah maybe. I’m stiff. It would have been easier if I laid my head on the side of the bed.” Jared says as he rubs his neck.

 

“The twins wanted to know when you were coming home; I told them you would be there in a little while.” Sherry says. “Come walk with me.”

 

“Are you sure? Shouldn’t one of us be here?” Jared asks.

 

“No I think he’ll be okay. We’ll just tell the nurses we are going to the cafeteria.” Sherry waves at him to follow her.

 

They stop at the nurse’s station and head to the cafeteria. They both get coffee and muffins.

 

“I want you to listen to me. Jensen called me night before last asking how to be around the twins. I told him to follow his heart and he would know. And then I told him about Loretta.” Sherry looks across the table at Jared.

 

“Momma.” Jared whines.

 

“I know Jared but she is the one that can get you two to talk it out and it’s not seeing someone that will keep a record of what you’re saying and tell you everything that was done wrong. She will prod you when you need it and keep at both of you until you spill. She will be a thorn in your sides until you guys work this out. And he wants to do it. It will do you both good. It will get the weight off your chests and open your minds.” Sherry tells Jared.

 

“Yeah but she is meddling and intrusive.” Jared retorts.

 

“And that’s what you both need. He’s got problems and so do you. He relies on Chris too much and you don’t listen. This would have been sorted out a long time ago if he would have talked and you would have listened.” Sherry points her finger at Jared.

 

“Okay momma. I get it and I’ll think about it.” Jared says shaking his head. He knew she wouldn’t drop it so he went along with her.

 

“He wanted you to do this before maybe not with Loretta but with someone.” Sherry smiles at Jared.

 

“I know, but I couldn’t.” Jared replies.

 

“Why couldn’t you Jared can you at least tell me why?” Sherry looks at Jared with worried eyes.

 

“I don’t know momma. It gets all jumbled in my head. Don’t really know.” Jared looks back at her.

 

“That’s what you need to figure out.” Sherry raises her eyebrows up.

 

“I’m going to go back upstairs and then go home.” Jared stands from the table.

 

“I’m going to finish my coffee.” Sherry picks up her cup and tips it at Jared.

 

Jared rides up in the elevator wondering if Loretta really would be able to get their problems out in the open. And get both of them to open up to each other. It would be nice to get Jensen to believe in him again. And Jensen to tell him about the problems he has with his family. Maybe they could go see Loretta and see how it goes. But they need to talk about it first.

 

Jared makes it back to the room and Jensen was the same as he went downstairs. Lying there sleeping but the nurse said the fever had broken so that was a good sign. He reaches out and holds Jensen’s hand for a few minutes before he kisses his knuckles and then laying it back at his side.

 

When he gets home the twins are excited. They both run to him, jumping up and down. Jared laughs and tells them, “Let me get my sweatshirt off, hold on.”

 

“These kids have been worried about you since they woke up, but other than that they have been awesome. How is Jen?” Megan asks.

 

“He was asleep when I left. He fever broke so that’s good. I think he’s going to be just fine. Come here you guys come sit down with me.” Jared walks to the couch. “I need to discuss something with you.”

 

The twins sit down on either side of him. They look at him with wide eyes.

 

“Okay Megan told me how you asked if it was Daddy Jensen that I went to see at the hospital and yes it was him. He’s sick right now but he’s getting better but he’s still I the hospital.” Jared says softly to his kids.

 

 

“Can we see him?” Bray asks quietly.

 

“Not right now, but he does want to meet you both. We’ll wait until he gets better and is out of the hospital. So you guys can get to really know him, okay.” Jared hugs both of the kids to his side.

 

“Will Daddy Jensen like me?” Anna asks shyly.

 

“Oh Honey I know he will.” Jared kisses her head and then looks at Bray. “And you too, Bray.”

 

“Has Aunt Megan made you lunch yet?” Jared asks.

 

“Yes we ate sawad and sandwitch.” Anna smiles at Jared.

 

“Salad and sandwiches huh. Did you leave me any since you are growing children you probably finished everything off didn’t you?” Jared teases.

 

“No Papa we can’t eat that mush” Bray laughs.

 

“Do you two want to help me make myself some lunch?” Jared looks between the two of them.

 

“Yeah.” They both jump off the couch and run to the kitchen.

 

“I can’t believe they are going to be four soon.” Megan smiles after them, and then walks over to her brother. “You know everything is going to be okay, right. Jensen will get out of the hospital and meet those two. But you two need to talk.” Megan looks him in the eye.

 

“You’ve been talking to mom haven’t you? It’s going to be the same thing over and over until we talk about all this stuff. I need to talk to him instead of to his sleeping body; can’t get much out of him when he’s sleeping.” Jared shakes his head.

 

When he walks into the kitchen the kids have the ham and lettuce out on the table. Bray was picking the bottle of dressing up off the floor and Anna was eating ham out of the package, smiling shyly when her Papa walked into the room.

 

“Are you still hungry Anna? I can make you something else to eat.” Jared ruffles her hair.

 

“No I just want that piece.” Anna ducks her head away.

 

“I want more dressin’ and let..lettuse.” Bray says holding the bottle up to his Papa.

 

“I can do that.” Jared takes the bottle from him and catches Anna sneaking another piece of ham from the package.

 

“I take it that you didn’t tell Aunt Meg, that you were still hungry.” Jared looks at them.

 

“We’s told her no.” Bray says as Anna nods her head.

 

“Okay. I’ll make you guys another sandwich and salad.” Jared pulls bowls and plates from the dishwasher. “After we eat we can take a nap, but I’m going to go back to the hospital later to sit with your Daddy Jensen so he’s not there all by himself.”

 

“If you don’t mind while you guys are sleeping I’m going to run up and check on him.” Megan peeks into the kitchen.

 

“That’s fine Megan you have all the right to go see him too.” Jared looks at her sideways.

 

He puts the bowls and plates in front of the twins while they eat he makes his own food, putting things away then sitting down to eat. They finish eating their food and go to lie down. All three of them pile into Jared bed. They are out in minutes.

 

Megan goes to the hospital to see Jensen. Her mom is sitting in the room reading a book. Looking up as Megan walks into the room. “Where’s Jared?” Sherry asks.

 

“Him and the twins are taking a nap. Those two ate two lunches and then crashed. They are all curled together on Jared’s bed. Jared told Anna and Bray that they will get to see Jensen when he gets out of the hospital. Do you think he will be ready?” Megan looks at Jensen pale face.

 

“As long as he doesn’t wear himself out right off the bat, as long as he doesn’t over do it.” Sherry looks at Jensen then back at Megan.

 

“How’s he doing right now?” Megan asks as she takes the other chair.

 

“Well the fever broke this morning and he’s just sleeping. It takes a lot out of someone when they are sick, especially when one illness leads to another. Jensen isn’t around sick people much at least not influenza sick.” Sherry stares at Jensen.

 

“Jared’s going to come back up when I go back to his place. What do you want for supper?” Megan asks.

 

“Whatever you cook is fine with me.” Sherry smiles at Megan.

 

“Well I’m going to head back. I just wanted to see him with my own eyes.” Megan kisses Jensen on the forehead. She walks over and hugs her mom and walks out of the room.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

 

When Jared comes to sit with Jensen for the night he talks to his momma for a while then she leaves to go back to his apartment. After awhile of sitting there thinking Jared starts to talk to Jensen.

 

“You know I could never figure out why you where so against us having kids. But there was something wasn’t there. Something you could never talk about isn’t there. But I had issues too. I wanted kids that we could share and then you just couldn’t let that go. You want a straight answer from me but I don’t know what that would be. I have never really sat and thought about it. I mean I have my irrational thoughts of you leaving me when you found out I was pregnant. But I have no real clue besides you thinking I was disgusting if you found out and leaving me all alone with a kid and that was worse than me taking off, because me leaving was easier than me staying and you leaving. I know you want to talk to me about this but you’ll have to come clean too. We will both have to air all of our thoughts to each other. And I think momma might be right this time. We should go talk to Loretta.” Jared stops talking and looks at Jensen but nothing has changed. He’s still laying there on oxygen, pale and sleeping.

 

Jared sits there for awhile just staring at Jensen like if he looks long enough Jensen will wake up, but it doesn’t make a difference. Finally he stops and lays his head down on the side of the mattress. Before falling asleep he laces their fingers together.

 

Jared is woken the next morning with someone’s fingers carding through his hair. He picks his head up and turns it toward Jensen looking at him. Jensen had turned onto his side so he didn’t pull his hand out of Jared’s. “I’ve dreamed about waking up and you being in the same room with me. Not in a hospital though.” Jensen says.

 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Jared sits up.

 

“Like shit. My head and chest hurt.” Jensen rubs his chest.

 

“How long have you been up?” Jared asks.

 

“Not long. What happened?” Jensen asks.

 

“From what I understand Jeff hadn’t heard from you at all on Thursday and got worried. He went to the front desk and they called the ambulance then went into your room and you were sick. You have pneumonia. And it’s Saturday.” Jared adds.

 

“I’ve been asleep this whole damn time.” Jensen states more like a question.

 

“Yes. You don’t remember any of it?” Jared asks.

 

“No. I remember going to sleep on Wednesday and waking up now. What are you doing here?” Jensen asks.

 

“Momma and I are taking shifts sitting with you. Megan has been sitting with the twins. They wanted to know why they couldn’t come see you. I explained that they couldn’t come up here and that they didn’t need to see you when you were so sick. But now that you’re awake you should get out of here soon and the three of you can meet each other.” Jared smiles at Jensen.

 

“We need to get past this Jared. You have problems. I have problems. We have problems. We need to get them all out in the open. Your mom suggested we talk to this Loretta lady. Would you be willing to do that? Because I think the only way we are going to get along is if everything gets aired out.” Jensen looks earnestly at Jared.

 

“Let’s get you out of here first and go from there.” Jared says as his reply.

 

At that point a nurse enters the room, “I thought I heard more than one voice in here. How are you doing Mr. Ackles?”

 

“My head and chest hurts. And I’m tired, still.” Jensen replies.

 

“Yeah sounds like someone recovering from pneumonia. You will feel better in about a week. You’ll probably get out of here in a day or two. My name is Carla, your day nurse. I guess I’ll get your vitals and if you feel up to it would you want to eat something?” Carla asks.

 

“No I’m not hungry.” Jensen gives a shake of his head and winces. He closes his eyes slowly.

 

“Jensen, are you okay?” Jared asks.

 

“My head hurts.” He replies.

 

“Okay let me get you checked over then I’ll see what we can do about that, okay.” Carla advises. “Let’s get you back on your back so I can listen to your lungs.”

 

Jensen rolls over slowly and closes his eyes again. He is taking slow even breathes. “When can you take that out?” He asks pointing to his crotch.

 

“They will probably leave it in for at least today. They’ll want you to stay down for at least the rest of today. They will want you headache free and for the ache in your chest to be diminished and to try to eat something bland and hold it down.” Carla gives Jensen the short list of requirements.

 

“Demanding much.” Jensen quips.

 

“Oh there’s more, that was just the short list.” Carla smiles at him.

 

“I think you had better stop while you’re ahead before you put yourself into a hole.” Jared smiles at him.

 

“I’m tired.” Jensen amends.

 

“Well just give me a few more minutes than you can go back to sleep. I still need to give you pain medicine.” Carla tells him. She leaves the room and comes back in with a syringe. “This is just something to relieve your headache and hopefully some of the pain in your chest. That part won’t go away all that fast I’m afraid.” Carla injects the medicine into his I.V. “Now this will also help you sleep. I know you’ve been sleeping for awhile now but your body needs it.”

 

“I’m already tired so whatever.” Jensen rolls his head to look from Carla to Jared. “I hate being sick.” Ending his statement with a rough cough.

 

“Ewh that sounded gross.” Jared says handing him a Kleenex.

 

“It didn’t feel good either.” Jensen rubs his chest scrunching up his face.

 

“But that is a good sign that means that gunk in your chest is breaking up and you are going to be bringing it up.” Carla smiles at him and pats his shoulder before leaving them alone.

 

“That just sounds gross.” Jensen sighs and coughs again. “Did I cough when I was asleep?”

 

“Not that much, but some.” Jared confirms.

 

Jensen’s eyes start to droop as the medicine takes a hold. He pulls the blanket up closer to his chin and yawns.

 

“Go back to sleep Jensen. My mom will be here soon. She will be glad you have woken up.” Jared reaches over and cards his hand through his hair. Jensen turns into the touch. Jensen is asleep before Jared pulls his hand away.

 

Moments later Sherry walks into the room, “Morning, honey. How is he doing?” she asks coming over to sit down.

 

“He just went back to sleep. He was awake for a short time. He said his head and chest hurt. And he was tired. The nurse gave him some medicine and he was out.” Jared smiles at his mom.

 

“Good that means he’s getting better.” Sherry has a wide smile on her face as she looks back and forth between the two. “Do you think you guys will be able to work this out?”

 

“I don’t know, I hope, maybe. Just give us some time momma.” Jared looks at her between his bangs then looks back at Jensen.

 

“All right I will let you guys work on it. I will back off for now. I think you should think about talking to Loretta though. She gets to the core of things and won’t let you stop until you get somewhere.” Sherry looks sideways at Jared.

 

“We will see what happens when Jen feels better.” Jared stands up to go home. “I am going home. Were the kids up?”

 

“Yes they are. They were watching cartoons before I left and Megan was making pancakes.” Sherry laugh, “They wanted to eat ramen noodles and Megan refused to do it. They kept pouting at her. She finally kicked them out of the kitchen.”

 

“Damn. I knew it wouldn’t take long before they tried to sucker someone into letting them eat those for breakfast. I don’t understand how they can still stand to eat those. It’s like they need them as bad as air.” Jared turns to the door before his mom stops him.

 

“Jared, do you think you would be okay if I went home when they put Jensen in a regular room and he’s doing better. I’ll stay if you need me too, but I already have taken off the past four days.” Sherry looks up at him.

 

“Yeah momma if you need to get back, sure. We have been talking not real discussions but we talked earlier a bit.” Jared confesses that they might get through this to himself.

 

“We can talk about it later if you want.” Sherry nods her head.

 

“Alright, momma, I’ll talk to you later.” Jared pulls the door open and walks outside. The day is already warm and bright maybe he could go to the park with the kids and give Megan a break. He thinks about it being good that Megan is between jobs and James isn’t being a pain in the ass about her being out of town or she would need to be heading home, too.

 

When he got home the twins reacted like normal and attacked him. He sat and held them for a while and then mentioned the park and giving Megan a break which she was so up for. She wanted to go visit Jensen. Sherry had called Chris and he was coming out tomorrow to check on his best friend. Jared swallowed hard when Megan mentioned Chris.

 

“Is he staying in town or just driving down and returning home?” Jared shutters at the thought of Chris staying around. He knows that Chris and Steve are together but always had a problem with Jensen’s closeness with Chris. Bingo. As if he had just turned the lights on, something clicks in his head. How could he not of seen it before, he was fucking jealous of Chris and Jensen being so close. Fuck maybe that was one of his underlying issues.

 

“No, Chris and Steve are just coming down and then going back home, they have to run the bar. They don’t feel comfortable leaving it with Cora and the new guy.” Megan looks at Jared. It looks like he is having a small freak out. “Jay, Chris won’t do anything to you, you know that right?”

 

“No Megan I don’t, he hates me for what I did to Jensen. I know he wants to kick my ass.” Jared looks behind him making sure the kids had gone to their room so they didn’t hear that.

 

“Jared, language. Chris is good.” Megan says.

 

“I’ll believe it when he doesn’t hit me.” Jared shakes his head.

 

“He’s not going to give you a beat down. Jensen has adjusted, somewhat. And Chris is not as protective.” Megan says with apprehension.

 

“That sounds reassuring, Megan.” Jared shakes his head at her again.

 

“It will all work out fine.” Megan smiles at Jared and walks out of the room.

 

After Megan leaves Jared busies himself with getting a small lunch ready and then makes sure the kids go to the bathroom. He ushers them to his truck and they are on their way. They spend their time on the swings, sliding and chasing each other around. Jared finally calls for a break and they stop to eat their lunch.

 

“Papa, is Daddy Jensen gettin’ any better?” Bray looks at him through his lashes.

 

“Well he woke up today but he’s not better yet. He still feels pretty bad. But he should get out in a couple of days. We will let him rest a couple of days before we overrun him.” Jared places his hand on Bray’s head and ruffles his hair.

 

“You mean we actually go to see Daddy Jensen?” Anna looks at Jared confused wrinkling up her nose.

 

“Yes you are going to get to meet Daddy Jensen. He really wants to meet you both.” Jared holds his hand out for Anna to come closer. “He wants to get to know you. And that means he cares about you.”

 

“How come we never meet him before?” Bray looks up at his Papa.

 

“It’s a long story and you’re really too young to understand right now. Maybe one day I can tell you. But let’s get Daddy Jensen better first and then we will go from there, okay.” Jared smiles at Annabella and Brayden.

 

“Can we go back to playing now?” Brayden looks hopefully at his Papa.

 

“Let’s put this stuff up first then we can play some more.” Jared motions to their plates lying out on the blanket.

 

They clean up the blanket and what was left from their lunch, returning the pack to the truck. The three of them spend another hour at the park then head home. Jared has the kids go nap while he picks up the house and washes a load of clothes. He calls Ken to see if it was okay for him to take off for another few days. Jared has a bunch of vacation time stored up from working so long at the hotel and carried it over in the transfer. Ken says it’s okay. And that Jeff guy, Jensen’s boss, had paid another week on Jensen’s room, but he had to head back to Austin. Jared said okay and he would let Jensen know.

 

After putting the laundry in the dryer, he laid down on the couch and fell asleep. He woke up with Anna staring at him. “Anna what are you doing?” He yawns after asking.

 

“Watching yous sleep. You was talking about Daddy Jensen. You said you loves him. If you loves him how come you not with him?” Anna looks at him so innocently.

 

“Annabella, I wish I could explain what happened between me and your daddy but it really would be hard for you to understand and I don’t want to confuse you more than you already might be.” Jared smiles at her sweetly.

 

“How could I be more confoosed when I don’t know what confoosed is?” Anna asks.

 

“Okay when you don’t quite get something like when the bubbles go down the drain and I told you they disappeared and you didn’t understand how they were just gone. That’s what confused means.” Jared tries to explain it to her simply.

 

“I don’t get it.” Anna still looks well confused.

 

“Okay how about when you didn’t get why we had to move to Houston because papa would make more money and we would be able to have a better life.” Jared hopes that that would help her get what confused means.

 

“Okay I think I get it now.” Anna gets up from her spot on the floor to crawl into his lap. “Can you tell me somepthin about Daddy?”

 

“Well let’s see. He’s how you got your blonde hair and green eyes. His hair is darker now but it used to be really blonde. He has a good heart. And he will love you very much.” Jared kisses her forehead.

 

“Does he still loves you too?” Anna asks.

 

“I don’t know honey. If he does he will let me know.” Jared hugs Anna in close to his body. At least he has this if Jensen doesn’t.

 

“Papa!” Brayden whimpers.

 

“Come on let’s go check on your brother.” Jared carries Anna to the bedroom with him. Bray sometimes has nightmares and Jared can never get it out of him about what. Bray tells him it nothing’.

 

“Hey baby what’s wrong?” Jared asks as he sits down on the side of the bed and rubs Bray’s back. Bray latches onto Jared as he crawls into his lap. Anna plops down beside them looking concerned for her brother.

 

“Me scared Papa.” Brayden cries.

 

“What scared you honey? Can you tell me?” Jared asks as he rubs circles into Bray’s back.

 

“It was a monster it came to take everyone way and I by myself.” Bray gasps out.

 

“Oh, Bray your dreams are just dreams they aren’t real, honey.” Jared tells his little boy.

 

“But it felts real.” Bray cries.

 

“Okay when you dream it’s just your brain telling you that you are thinking too hard and it’s working too much. It comes up with funny, weird or scary things that aren’t really there or really didn’t happen.” Jared tells his kids.

 

“Are you sure Papa?” Bray has stopped crying and he breaths were starting to even out.

 

“Yes Bray sleepy dreams are just dreams. You have to work to make things happen.” Jared pats his back as he crawls out of his lap.

 

“Okay, Papa. I think I’m okay now. Anna do you want to play with me?” Bray asks her.

 

“Yeah Bray I plays with yous.” Anna jumps off the bed to join her brother on the floor.

 

Jared gets up and walks to the door to watch his kids play for a little while to make sure Bray is okay. He goes back into the living room and watches a little bit of T.V. Megan walks in the door and plops down on the couch beside him.

 

“How was your day?” She looks at him sideways.

 

“It started out okay, and then Bray woke up from his nap with a nightmare. And just before that I was woke up by Anna staring at me while I slept. She said I was talking about Jensen and was saying I loved him.” Jared looks over at his sister. “Oh and then she asked me if Jensen loved me.”

 

“And what did you tell her?” Megan asks.

 

“I told her I didn’t know and that he would tell me if he did.” Jared says with a sigh.

 

“Well you guys will figure it out.” Megan pats him on the leg and gets up. “What was Bray’s nightmare about?”

 

“That everyone was taken away from him by a monster. I told him that his dreams where not real and he did have to worry about it. That his brain was working too hard.” Jared looks up at her.

 

“What are we having for supper?” Megan asks.

 

“I haven’t looked yet.” Jared says to her.

 

“Jared I’m hungry.” Megan whines.

 

“I could order pizza or Chinese.” Jared tells her.

 

“Oh, Chinese.” Megan shudders.

 

“Well I guess that’s settled. Chinese it is.” Jared laughs at his sister. He gets up to walk out to the kitchen to get the menu. About twenty minutes later the food arrived and they tuck into it like they are all starving.

 

Ten minutes later his mom walks in the door. Jared looks at her confused. “Is Jensen alright?”

 

“Yeah he just went back to sleep. He’s been up off and on all day. He feels better. Bitchin’ about the catheter and the shitty food they are trying to shove down his throat.” Sherry laughs.

 

“Momma, language. So he is feeling better. He might get out soon.” Jared smiles at her.

 

“I forgot sorry. He still needs to rest. What did you get for supper?” Sherry asks.

 

“There’s sweet and sour pork, General Tsao’s chicken, fried rice, lo mein and mu shu pork.” Jared points at the containers.

 

“Sounds great.” Sherry pulls out a chair and sits down.

 

After they are done eating Megan gets the kids in the tub so Jared and Sherry can talk.

 

“Now you’re sure it will be fine if I go back home. I mean you two won’t try and kill each other.” Sherry is hoping she can go home tomorrow and they all will be just fine.

 

“Yes, momma. We will be fine. Meg will be here to help with the kids and Jensen still has his hotel room for the next week, Jeff paid for it.” Jared tells his momma close to exasperation.

 

“Okay, but if I need to stay I can. I just don’t want the two of you getting’ at each other’s throats. Especially not around the kids. They don’t know about your pasts and things that happened before they were born and they don’t need to anytime soon.” Sherry goes on as Jared kind of tunes her out.

 

“Momma, do you know that they are like a room away and can probably hear every word you are saying. They might not actually be listening but then again they might be.” Jared blows out a breath.

 

“Okay I’ll stop.” Sherry gets out of her chair to go into the living room with Jared following her.

 

“Okay once the kids are ready for bed I’m heading to the hospital. So you are going home tomorrow?” Jared asks to confirm her plans.

 

“Yes. Jensen will be out in a day so he should be good on his own.” Sherry nods her head.

 

At that moment Anna and Bray run into the living room. “Papa, will you read to us before yous go to the hospital?” Anna pleads.

 

“Yes, baby girl I will read to you but only one story then I need to get over there, okay.” Jared grab her up into his arms. “Let’s read “Green Eggs and Ham.”

 

“Yeah, will you do the voices thingy.” Bray asks.

 

“Yes I will do the voice thing.” Jared takes his hand as they walk to the bedroom. As he tucks them in and reads to them they drift off to sleep and are out before he finishes. Getting up from the chair and walking into the living room he looks at his mother and sister sitting together on the couch. “What are you two up too?” Jared asks.

 

“I want to take the kids out before I leave tomorrow. Do something special with them.” Sherry smiles.

 

“What did you have in mind?” Jared asks.

 

“I was thinking the zoo, they haven’t been in a while with the way you have to work and I think it would be a treat for me and Megan to do that with them.” Sherry looks between her kids.

 

“This means I’m going to be by myself all day and probably run into Chris.” Jared winces.

 

“Momma tell him Chris isn’t looking to kick his ass anymore. He won’t listen to me.” Megan throws a look at her brother.

 

“Megan, when have you ever known him to listen?” Sherry quirks her eyebrow.

 

“Okay I guess you’re right. But seriously he’s not that bad.” Megan says looking back at Jared.

 

“Easy for you to say he doesn’t hate you with every bone in his body.” Jared retorts.

 

“Your being melodramatic about this.” Megan shakes her head not really understanding Jared’s fear of Chris. He always seems so nice around her.

 

“You didn’t break Jensen I did. I know he has it in for me.” Jared explains.

 

“Jared stop okay that was then, this is now.” Sherry says.

 

“You guys still hold this shit against me. But he’s going to be worse I know it.” Jared plops down in the chair.

 

“I doubt he will say anything with Jensen in the hospital.” Sherry looks at Jared.

 

“Yeah as long as we are in the room with Jensen.” Jared supplies.

 

“Okay let’s stop this right here before we end up fighting over this. Enough is enough.” Sherry stands up to leave the room.

 

“I’m going to the hospital. I will be home in the morning.” Jared stands to get his keys.

 

“We’ll be here.” Megan sing-songs.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

When Jared made it to the hospital the night nurse, Mariann was walking out of the room looking a little disturbed. “You have fun with him tonight and if he needs sedated let me know.” Mariann smiles at Jared devilishly.

“Is he that bad?” Jared asks.

“OHHH, you don’t want to know. He has been bitchin’ all evening. I think your momma left because she couldn’t take it anymore.” Mariann pats Jared on the shoulder and walks away.

Jared takes a deep breath and then rubs his forehead pushing the door to the room open.

“If you came back to fuckin’ stick me again I’m going to shove that needle in your eye.” Jensen looks up at the door. “Oh I didn’t know it was you.”

“I take it you are feeling a little bit better.” Jared chances to ask hoping to get an answer without losing his head.

“Yeah I’m feeling fuckin’ great; these people won’t leave me the fuck alone.” Jensen says as if he was ready to kill someone. His face was crunched up eyebrows drawn together. “Every time I fall asleep someone is in here waking me back up.” He runs out of breathe and starts coughing.

“Hey, hey I think maybe you should just relax and try to breathe a little. Don’t get mad at me but this isn’t doing you any good.” He stands by the bed rubbing Jensen’s back reaching out and grabbing the cup of water beside the bed. “Here drink some.”

Jensen takes the cup and drinks down all the water. Handing the cup back to Jared he sets his head back against the pillow and sighs. “You know they want you to get better but they keep coming in and disrupting you when you fall asleep and taking all your blood. Fucking feeding it to vampires or what.”

“Your cranky.” Jared gasps after realizes what just left his mouth. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t feel good.”

Jensen rolls his eyes at Jared and snickers, “I think I have a right to be. Why are you still coming? I’m awake and getting better. Don’t get me wrong it’s nice that you’re here, but I figured since I’m okay you would stay away.”

“Jensen.” Jared says as he sighs. “I want to be here. Anna and Bray keep asking about you and I want to make sure you get out of here. They say if you show a sick patient that they are cared about they get better quicker.”

“Oh so I’m just a sick patient.” Jensen quips.

“No. You’re the father of my kids.” Jared looks down at his hands sitting in his lap.

“Would you have every told me?” Jensen asks.

“Let’s not talk about this now. You don’t need the extra stress right now.” Jared says as he looks back up at Jensen.

Jensen shakes his head and says, “You know I’m not a piece of glass that’s going to break with the first sign of stress. I’m a grown man. I might be sick but I’m not on my death bed.”

“Okay let’s just stop this before it gets out of hand and we end up fighting. We can discuss this in a more appropriate setting once you are out of here.” Jared says with finality and goes for a subject change. “So I hear Chris is coming out tomorrow. Should I make myself disappear or should I not be worried?”

“I don’t know are you scared. You know maybe you should grow some balls and stand up for yourself. Chris is just a big baby and he loves me like a brother.” Jensen sneers at Jared.

“I am not fighting with you. Do you want me to go home? If you don’t want me here and you would feel more at ease with me leaving I can go?” Jared looks at Jensen pitifully.

“Shit I’m sorry Jared. I didn’t mean that.” Jensen says rubbing his hands over his eyes and through his hair.

“I think you need to get some sleep, maybe you’ll feel less shitty in the morning.” Jared adds a little more emphasis on the word ‘shitty’.

“Okay can you make sure they aren’t coming in here waking me up every five minutes?” Jensen asks.

“I can try.” Jared smiles at him.

“Okay I’m going to sleep.” Jensen says pulling the blanket up and turning his back to the door and Jared.

“I’ll be right back in. I’ll go talk to the nurses and make sure they don’t need to bleed you anymore.” Jared smiles to himself as he walks to the door.

“Yeah whatever.”Jensen slurs a response.

Jared walks up to Mariann and stands there in front of her. “So he’s been an ass all night.”

“Oh my God, he has been a diva since I started at 4. No matter who walks into that room he starts spouting off at the mouth. They brought him his food and he made Stephanie cry. Stephanie doesn’t do anything just brings it and puts it down. I about put his ass down after he did that.” Mariann looks a Jared.

Jared smiles at her. “He was always a baby when he was sick. I’m sorry he has been such a pain. He’s a good guy when he’s feelin’ better.”

“Then why are you guys’ estranged husbands?” Mariann smacks her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry Jared that’s none of my business. He just has me so riled up, I’m sorry.” Mariann says with the most honest face.

“I know he can be an ass. We had our problem, that’s all I’m saying.” Jared looks at Mariann.

“I’m sorry Jared. I didn’t mean to say it.” Mariann pleads.

“It’s okay Mariann. I just wanted to make sure that you guys where done with him tonight.” Jared asks.

“Yes he’s all yours.” Mariann shakes her head at him. “No one will disturb him till morning and it won’t be me.”

“All right Mariann. I will talk to you later. And we’re good I know you didn’t mean it.” Jared smiles at her wide and she smiles back.

Jared walked back to the room and walked in. Jensen was asleep and the only light on was above the sink. Sitting with Jensen at night gave him time to think about things and try and think about answers to questions he had. One of the ultimate questions was could they ever get back to being them, as in together as a couple. He would love to be Jensen’s husband again, but could Jensen handle being his husband again. Would he be able to stand the everyday life of raising two kids the same age? And the whole option of having more kids, Jared would love to give the twins more siblings. Would Jensen be able to handle more kids? And what was the real reason he ran away from Jensen instead of just telling him he was pregnant? What would have really happened if he told him and stayed? Would they have fought all the time or would they have gotten along great? He practically had driven himself out of his mind last night and now he was looking deeply inside himself again and getting nowhere except for chasing one thought into the next.

So instead of dwelling on questions he didn’t have answers to right now he got up went to the bathroom and decided to settle down and go to sleep. He looked at Jensen, he had rolled over onto his back and his brow was crinkled. Jared reached up to smooth over his forehead, rubbing the ridges trying to get him to loosen his scowl. After a moment the lines disappeared and he relaxed. Jared bent down and kissed him there telling him goodnight.

Jared is woken up a handful of hours later by Jensen softly crying out for him; upon waking up he realizes that Jensen isn’t awake but still asleep.

“Jared, why? Why did you leave me? Why won’t you fucking talk to me? What did I do?” Jensen whimpers.

“Oh, Jen.” Jared sits up and holds Jensen cheeks as he tries to wake him. “Jensen, wake up your having a bad dream, Jensen.”

“What.” Jensen wakes up startled.

“You were dreaming. Are you okay?” Jared asks.

Jensen rubs his eyes and looks at Jared. “Yeah, I’m fine. What was I saying?”

“Nothing much you just sounded distressed.” Jared replies. “Try and go back to sleep.”

Jensen rolls over, taking Jared’s hand and bringing it to his face and laying his head on it. Jared takes his other hand and cards it through Jensen’s hair. “Go back to sleep, Jensen.” Jared scoots the chair closer to the head of the bed, lowering the side rails so he doesn’t have an awkward reach and rests his head next to Jensen’s.

The next thing he knows its morning and Chris and Steve had just walked into the room. Chris gives him the necessary once over and then looks at Jensen who is still asleep. Chris tilts his head towards the door beckoning Jared to accompany him into the hall. Jared slowly removes his hand from Jensen’s grip, making sure not to wake him and follows the two men out the door.

“Boy, you had better be glad we are in a hospital because you are damn lucky.” Chris gets straight into his face.

“Chris, I don’t want to fight with you now or ever.” Jared steps back from Chris.

“Damn right because I would fucking kill you.” Chris spits out.

“Chris, remember.” Steve tells him. Chris physically relaxes and takes his own step back.

“You’re damn fucking lucky I promised him I wouldn’t ever touch you. You had better not hurt him again because I can revoke that promise to him.” Chris steps back up.

“Christian.” Steve grabs his arm. Steve pulls him back against his chest. “You need to step back and think.”

“Yeah, man. I got this.” Chris looks back at Jared and tips his chin up as in a gesture of challenge.

“Chris, I don’t want any trouble. I have the twins to think about and I can’t jeopardize them and I won’t for anything.” Jared tells him.

“Just keep it that way. Remember don’t hurt him again.” Chris challenges.

“Come on he’ll probably be glad to see you.” Jared motions back to the room. “I’ll head down to the cafeteria so you three can talk. Please try to keep him calm. If he gets worked up he starts coughing.”

“All right Jared. Hey.” Steve says.

Jared turns around and looks at him, “Yeah.”

“It’s good to see you, man. I mean it, not like this but its good.” Steve nods to him.

“Thanks, Steve. It’s good to see you, too.” Jared smiles back at him.

Jared stays in the cafeteria for about a half an hour before he makes his way back upstairs. When he gets to the room he can hear them all laughing with each other and it makes him smile to hear Jensen laugh roughly but at least he laughing. Until he starts coughing and he hears Chris, “Shit I’m sorry, are you okay?”

“I just need to catch my breath.” Jensen wheezes.

At that point Jared walks in. He goes straight to the table handing Jensen the glass of water. “Drink.”

Jensen drinks the water down and lays his head back against the pillows, breathing deeply. “This sucks.”

“It will get better, Jen. It takes time.” Jared replies.

“Do you know when you’re getting out of here?” Steve asks.

“A couple of days. Getting this damn catheter out of my dick would be nice. It would also be nice to get out of this bed.” Jensen looks at them.

“Can’t push too much and overdo it, Jensen. Let yourself get better so you can come home.” Chris looks at him.

“I know. I want to meet the kids before I come home.” Jensen looks at Chris.

“Alright, son just let us know and we will come down and one of us will drive back with you.” Chris looks at Jensen then scans over to Jared.

With a roll of his eyes Jensen says, “You mean chauffer me home because I know you won’t let me drive myself home.”

“Probably you know him. But you have to realize it’s a drive, a long drive.” Steve looks up at him.

“Yeah I know. But I could take breaks on the way.” Jensen tells the men in the room, especially Chris.

“Yeah but you’re sick. You don’t need to drive straight through back the Austin and jeopardize your already weakened health.” Chris Snickers at Jensen.

“You make it sound like I’m on my death bed and I’m dying not getting better.” Jensen shakes his head at Chris.

“I worry about you. You’re fragile and I want to make sure you are going to be okay.” Chris grins evilly at Jensen.

“You fucking ass.” Jensen throws used tissues at Chris. “If I had something else to throw at you.” Jensen scowls at him.

Jared and Steve stand back and let the two go at each other. “I see that they still act like they are five when they get together.” Jared quips.

“Have you ever known them to ever act like adults? It took a little bit after you left but we work on him. He’s almost as good as before. He’s not as open as he used to be but him and Chris still carry on.” Steve smiles over at the two of them going at each other.

“I’m sorry.” Jared looks down at the floor.

“Hey, dude shit happens. If you couldn’t deal you couldn’t deal. I think maybe you should have talked to him and maybe it wouldn’t have been as bad, but you got to do what you have to.” Steve pats him on the back, walking over to stand beside Chris.

Jared looks at the three of them and slips out of the room. He pulls his phone out and for some reason feels he needs to talk to Chad. He dials his number and waits for him to pick up. Chad had been upset with him when he found out that Jared left Jensen and really upset when he found out he left while being pregnant and not telling Jensen. They had gotten some of their friendship back over the last three years but not how it used to be. It really didn’t help that they had a large part of Texas between them, either.

When the phone was picked up Chad answers with a, “Hey Sasquatch what’s up?”

Jared rolls his eyes, “Well, so um… Jensen knows I had the twins and he’s in the hospital down here.”

“Jay what the fuck did you do?” Chad berates him.

“I didn’t do anything we sort of. Anna had the flu and I wanted to talk to him, he caught it and developed pneumonia from it. He’s getting better now, tho.” Jared tells him.

“How are you two doing with that?” Chad asks.

“I don’t know yet? It’s made me think about shit. I’m driving myself nuts. I don’t understand why I did it now.” Jared says.

“Jay, dude I have no idea what to tell you. You know what I told you then; you were stupid to leave him. You made your life hell for no reason.” Chad tells him.

“I know Chad. I screwed up. But I’m going to try and work this out. I’m going to go talk to someone with him.” Jared nods his head even though Chad can’t see him.

“Well that’s good Jared maybe you guys can work it out and make it right.” Chad tells him. “Well, loser I need to get back to the kids and the wifey, before they destroy all my hard work in the kitchen. I love you, man and hopefully it all gets straighten out.”

“Tell Sophia that I said hi and kiss the kids for me. I’ll talk to you later.” Jared says hanging up his end. Jared takes a deep breath and turns back to the door. Chris and Steve walking out the door as he is coming in, Chris gives him a little shove back out the door.

“After he meets his kids I want to get to know them, too.” Chris pokes Jared in the chest.

“That’s fine. Just please no animosity in front of them.” Jared asks.

“That is fine. They are just kids. They don’t need to know how fuck up this is.” Chris nods his head.

“Okay.” Jared walks around them going back into the room. When he sees Jensen he smiles, “Hey are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I miss him. He makes me feel better. He’s the one who was always there to listen to me.” Jensen peaks a look at Jared.

“You know I think that was one of the reasons I wanted to have kids so bad. It would have been something that I could share with you that he didn’t.” Jared looks down at his hands.

“Jared. It was never like that with him. He’s my best friend and brother rolled into one. He was there when I was younger and I was always getting shit on. He made it all easier. I never wanted him that way.” Jensen pleads over Chris. “He’s all the family I got.”

“I know that now Jensen. I’m sorry.” Jared says forlornly.

“Jay come here.” Jensen waves him over. At that moment Carla walks into the room.

“Am I interrupting something?” She asks.

“No you can come in.” Jared looks over at her.

Jensen scowls at Jared. Damn it they were opening up, if he would just talk to him.

“Well, this is a good moment then because I am here to remove your catheter.” She walks up to the bed and pats his leg. “Are you ready?”

“Oh hell yes. Take it, it’s all yours.” Jensen says enthusiastically.

“Do you want him to stay?” Carla looks over at Jared.

“No I’ll step out.” Jared spits out fast.

“You don’t have to; it’s okay if you stay.” Jensen says.

“I’m going to go get coffee. I’ll be back in a few.” Jared gives him a tight smile. “I’ll be back.” Jared walks out of the room.

“Is everything okay?” Carla walks over to the wall cabinet pulling out the stuff she needs to remove his catheter.

“Yeah we just have a lot of issues.” Jensen looks up at her.

“Okay let’s get this done. It’s probably going to hurt a little because it’s been in there since Wednesday. When you void your bladder today you need to do into that little cone that is sitting on the shelf in the bathroom. Okay here we go.” Carla says. She moves the blanket back and gets to work on removing the tubing. Jensen hisses as she removes it from his dick but he is thankful it’s gone. It means he’s one step closer to be able to get out.

“Now since you haven’t been up for a while it would be advisable that you sit down to use the bathroom. Don’t want you to fall over and hurt yourself. It might burn when you do go but that will go away. In about fifteen minutes one of the aides will come in and get you up so you can walk around and build up some strength. Then your breakfast should be here.” Carla pulls the blanket back down smoothing out the wrinkles. “You good?”

“Yeah, it will be great when I can get out of here.” Jensen says.

“You’re getting better. It won’t be much longer.” Carla smiles at him. “I’ll be back later.”

Jensen lays there thinking about Jared. He had been jealous over Chris. It was a reason for him pushing Jensen to have kids. But the poison that his mother had kept filling him with that made him not want them. Shit. “My life fucking sucks.”

“It can’t be that bad.” Madeleine walks in the door.

“That wasn’t meant for you to hear.” Jensen smiles at her sadly.

“Well with that man that is here, I would say it’s looking up. You two need to stop being so sad.” Madeleine says.

“Hopefully we will.” Jensen looks at her.

“So are you ready to get up. It’s been a few days. Do you want to go to the bathroom first?” Madeleine asks.

“Yes, please.” Jensen sits up.

Madeleine helps him sit on the side of the bed then supports him as he stands. They walk slowly to the bathroom and she leaves him holding the rail. He looks at the toilet opting to go with what Carla had said about sitting down. And sit there was what he did for what seemed like forever. He still had the damn I.V. in his arm he should be able to pee. Finally he feels it coming and shit it does burn. What the fuck. His dick feels like it’s going to spontaneously combust. He feels a tear come to his eye but the longer he is there the less it hurts. So that’s a good thing.

“Are you okay in there?” Madeleine asks.

“Yeah just took a minute or two and it burnt but its better now. I’m ready to come out.” Jensen stands up.

“Are you all covered up?” Madeleine asks.

“Yeah.” Jensen replies.

“All right then are you feeling okay. Want to do a once around the nurse’s station?” She asks.

“Is there a way to cover up?” Jensen asks pointing to the back of his gown.

“Come here, sit down and I’ll go get you another gown to wear as a robe.” Madeleine guides him to the chair.

Jared walks into the room after she leaves. “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“No Madeleine got me up. She went to get another gown. I’m going to walk around the nurse’s station.” Jensen looks up at Jared.

“Oh okay then do you want me to come?” Jared asks.

“If you want you can push this thing.” Jensen points at the I.V. stand.

Carla walks into the room. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay a little shaky. You were right it did burn, but it went away before I was done.” Jensen blushes.

“Yeah it’s worse when it’s in there longer. But if it wasn’t there we would have been changing your sheets every couple of hours. And that would have been worse for all of us.” Carla says and Jensen blushes deeper. She walks into the bathroom and checks the urine and dumps it and flushes.

“Well Madeleine will be back in a minute and get you moving. Just take it slow.” Carla leaves them by themselves.

“You know there’s nothing to be embarrassed about don’t you?” Jared smiles shyly at Jensen.

“I’m not embarrassed.” Jensen says.

“You know when I had the twins Brayden took forever to come and by the time he was ready I was so tired, they had to cut me and use forceps to get him out. I hurt for weeks before I started to feel better. And they had to keep checking me while I was in there. I had to sit on this little inflatable donut. Now that was embarrassing them always coming in looking at my junk.” Jared blushes himself as he looks back over at Jensen.

“Jay, that’s just gross.” Jensen wrinkles up his face.

“Well now you know that the catheter isn’t as bad.” Jared says with a smile.

Madeleine walks back into the room holding another gown. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yes.” Jensen smiles at her. She helps him stand and into the gown. Jared offers to push the I.V. stand. He follows along side of him. Jensen walks slowly and stopping when he gets winded. It takes about half an hour for them to make the small circuit around the nurse’s station.

“Shit I could go back to sleep for a week. I can’t believe that little bit of walking has wiped me out.” Jensen looks at Madeleine.

“Yeah well you’ve been laid up for about that long. Pneumonia takes a lot out of your body. It drains you. And you had the flu before you got hit by the pneumonia.” Madeleine leads him back over to his bed, helping him out of the over gown.

“Knock, knock here’s your breakfast. I hope you’re in a better mood today. You really upset Stephanie last night.” Lynn looks at Jensen with a disapproving look.

“I’ll apologize tonight when she comes in.” Jensen says.

“Jensen, I’m going to call home before momma takes the twins to the zoo. I’ll be right back.” Jared steps out of the room.

Sherry was going to stop in before she headed home, but he wanted to talk to the twins before they left the house for the zoo. He wouldn’t see them until later tonight and he had never done that before.

Megan answered the phone and he asked to talk to them. “Bray, Anna your Papa wants to talk to you.”

In the background he can hear them coming. Megan had the phone on speaker. “Hey you two settle down. You are not to run in the house.”

“How did yous know we was runnin’ in the house?” Anna asks.

“I could hear you running. Now I want you both to be on your best behavior with Granma and Aunt Megan, do you understand me?” Jared says.

“Yes Papa.” Both of them answer, but other than that he can’t understand anything else because they are talking over each other.

“Hey how about you talk one at a time so I can understand you.” Jared laughs.

“We are going to see the monkey, elepants, and tigers.” Bray says excitedly.

“We gonna see the zebra, dolphins and the what was it Ganma?” Anna says.

He hears Sherry in the background saying rhino’s.

“Okay I’m going to let you guys go so you can get going. I just wanted to tell you to be good and to listen. I love you, guys. Can you put Granma on the phone?” Jared says.

He hears I love you from them and then his mom is on the line. “Momma don’t let them eat a lot of junk okay.”

“Jared they will be fine. I will keep an eye on them and won’t let them out of my sight. We are going to have a lot of fun.” Sherry reassures him.

“Okay Momma but be careful. They are all I have and nothing can happen to them.” Jared woefully tells her.

“You act like you’re never going to see them again. They are only going to the zoo.” Sherry reminds him.

“I have never went all day without seeing them before. Maybe I’m freakin’ out a little bit, give me a break.” Jared whines.

“Jared it’s going to be fine. Do you want me to bring them up with me when I come up? They’ve moved Jensen haven’t they?” Sherry asks.

“No, not yet and I really don’t want them in the hospital. Not for their first meeting with him.” Jared states.

“Okay then you are just going to have to deal with not seeing them till later.” Sherry says. “They will be fine.”

Jared takes a deep breath and tells her he will be okay and to give them a kiss from him. He hangs up and walks back into the room. Carla was in the room taking out Jensen’s I.V.

“We are getting ready to move him downstairs. He doesn’t need to be up here anymore. He’ll probably go home tomorrow.” Carla smiles at them.

“Well that’s good. Will he need any other medicines when he leaves?” Jared asks.

“I don’t know the doctor will decide tomorrow.” Carla nods her head.

“Just as long as it’s not nasty we will be good.” Jensen says from the bed.

“If they want you to take it you should.” Jared gives him a look of disapproval because he know Jensen if he doesn’t think he needs it he won’t take it.

“I know that. If I need it I’ll take it.” Jensen sticks his tongue out at Jared.

“If you don’t take the medicine the doctor prescribes you could do more damage than has already been done. And that was an ‘if any medicine’ is prescribed.” Carla raises her eyebrows at Jensen.

Madeleine walks into the room and says, “Are we ready to get this show on the road and get you moved downstairs?”

“Yes. It’s one step closer to the door.” Jensen nods his head.

They transfer him from his bed to the gurney and then to the elevator. The general ward has two beds per room and he has a roommate but the guy is asleep when they come in.

Carla talks to the nurse in charge of the wing, transferring Jensen’s chart and his care over to her. Carla walks over to the bed patting him on the shoulder, “This is Georgia be nice to her and she’ll take good care of you; If not she will make your life living hell. No making anybody cry tonight.”

“I won’t.” Jensen blushes.

“I understand Honey. You were sick and everybody keeps poking and proddin’ you. It makes me short tempered too. But you’re feeling better now so no snappin’ at nobody down here or I’ll get you.” Georgia smiles at him.

“Yes ma’am.” Jensen smiles at her.

“No, no ma’am I am not. Georgia will be just fine.” She interjects. “Well I’m going to go and get things set up for you and let you settle in, nap if you want and I’ll be back later.”

“Okay.” He looks at her from under his lashes. She reminds him of his grandmother in a way. She didn’t take shit off anyone so unlike his mother, how is so hateful if she doesn’t get her way.

After she walks out the door Jared walks over and sits down in the chair. “She has got your number, buddy. You had better watch yourself.”

“Shut up, Jared.” Jensen glares at him.

“Okay.” Jared puts his hands up in surrender.

“I’m going to sleep. Go eat something or something.” Jensen pulls his blanket up to his chin and rolls over, pouting.

Jared smiles at him and gets up to go do something. He doesn’t know what but he’ll find something as Jensen suggests.


	25. Chapter 25

“Come on Anna and Bray we have twenty minutes before the cafeteria opens and we can see one more exhibit before then and the next one is bears.” Sherry calls to the kids as they walk between her and Megan. Megan is pulling the wagon behind her that they both refuse to ride in. The day bag and drinks sit there ignored.

“Mom, do we have time to stop at a bathroom, please.” Megan asks. She had been walking for almost two hours and wanted a break. If she had known her mom would take this full bore and not stop until they had seen every animal here she would have stayed at the apartment.

“Yes Megan we can stop at the bathroom before the bears. It’s right over there.” Sherry looks back at her and point off to the right.

“Come on you two let’s go potty.” Megan says as she drops the handle of the wagon and grabs the twins’ hands. She herds them into the handicapped stall and they take turns. She doesn’t understand how her mom can’t be tired already. She feels like she is ready to fall over dead. They wash their hands and go back to join her mom. “Mom when we get done with the bears and go to eat can we sit for a little while.” Megan asks.

 

“Megan if we want to get through this zoo and see the animals we need to move, move, move. You are younger than me you should be able to keep up. You can eat something full of fat and sugar.” Sherry smiles evilly at her daughter.

“Moomm.” Megan stomps her foot and pouts.

“You will live come we got animals to see.” Sherry starts walking again.

“Ganma, bears eat people. Why they have them here?” Anna asks.

“The bears here aren’t able to get to people they won’t be able to eat anyone, baby.” Sherry tells her.

“Granma when we see the monkey?” Bray asks her after a few minutes.

“The monkeys are just after the elephants and they are right after the cafeteria.” Sherry looks back at them.

“Megan look there are babies.” Anna grabs her hand and pulls her over to the railing.

“Ahh, they are so cute.” Megan hugs Anna to her side.

“I don’t like them they are too big and hairy.” Bray comments.

“They are hairy because they hibernate in the winter.” Sherry says.

“What hibrnat?” Bray asks.

“Hibernate means to sleep all winter long.” Megan informs him.

“Okay, but why?” Anna asks.

“Because they normally live where the winters are hard and they survive by eating a lot then going to sleep through the bad months when it’s cold and snowy out.” Sherry tells them.

“Can we eat now?” Megan looks at her mom hoping to go sit down.

“Yes come on. Do you two little ones know what you want to eat?” Sherry asks.

Sherry hears pizza, chicken nuggets and something mumbled by Megan. She gives her money to take Bray to get his pizza and whatever she wanted. And she takes Anna to get her chicken nuggets and she wants a salad with a turkey sandwich. They find a table and Megan collapses in a chair.

“My feet are killing me. I don’t understand how your feet don’t hurt.” Megan complains.

“It’s because I’m used to walking and standing all the time. I don’t get much down time when I’m working.” Sherry smiles at Megan.

“I don’t know if I want to be a nurse anymore if this is what I’m going to feel like.” Megan whines.

“It just depends on what field you go into.” Sherry says.

“Ganma I need more catsup.” Anna requests.

“Okay I’ll be right back.” Sherry gets up and walks to get her more catsup. She doesn’t understand how Megan can be tired just by walking around after two hours of looking at animals. Maybe her summer break needs to end and her get back to school so she’s not sitting around doing nothing. Turning back to the table with more catsup she sees Megan laughing about something one of the kids had said. She had such a pretty smile. Her little girl wasn’t such a little girl anymore. “What is so funny?”

“Anna wanted to know why we couldn’t eat a lot then sleep all winter. And Bray said we would get fat and never mind you had to be here to get it.” Megan shakes her head.

“Okay, if you say so.” Sherry rolls her eyes.

“It was funny when he said it.” Megan looks at her mom.

They sat and ate their food and then left to go look at the rest of the animals. By the time they got to the tigers both of the kids where back in the wagon. They were ready to go home when they got to the zebra’s. Sherry gave in and took them all back to the apartment. They all three were asleep by the highway. Maybe she had pushed them a little too hard.

When they got home they went straight to their room and fell right to sleep. Sherry talked to Megan for about twenty minutes and then headed to the hospital after throwing her things into her car to head home.

When she got to the hospital Jared was asleep in the chair and Jensen was watching television.

“Hi, Sherry.” Jensen smiles at her.

She walks over and kisses his cheek and pulls him in for a hug. “Are you in a better mood than when I left last night?”

“Yes. I just wanted to sleep. Now I am catheter and I.V. free so I’m really good. It sucked walking around earlier though, it wore me out.” Jensen shakes his head.

“Well you got to think you just fought off a major infection and your body needs to catch up on its strength.” Sherry pats him on the leg.

“Hey, Momma how did the kids do at the zoo?” Jared yawns and stretches.

“They did great. They are at home asleep in their beds and they had fun but they are tired. Megan was whining like she was the three year old. She needs to do more and she wouldn’t feel so worn out if she gets up and move.” Sherry sighs.

“You know she hasn’t talked to James in about two days. I wonder if the reason he’s not throwing a fit about her being down here is because they broke up.” Jared wonders.

“She hasn’t said anything to me. I think she would have if it happened.” Sherry shakes her head.

“Did you take any pictures at the zoo?” Jensen asks changing the course of their conversation.

“Yes hold on.” Sherry digs around in her purse. She shows them the pictures of the animals and of the kids on the different toys. She promised to make copies of the pictures and send them back.

She stayed for about an hour and talked to Jared and Jensen before she left. Wished them both well and hoped they would be able to work this out. Kissed and hugged them both before leaving.

Jensen’s roommate had checked out earlier and they had the room to themselves. Jared drew in a deep breath and started talking, “So I decided to go see Loretta with you and work on us. I think it’s time we tried to work on us and all our issues.”

“Thank you Jared. You know I could never see why you never talked to me after you left, but now I know it was because you were pregnant. I wish you would have told me Jay. I just wish you would have told me.” Jensen turns his eyes down to look at his hands in his lap.

“I was scared that you would leave me and I wouldn’t have you to help me, so I left before you could leave me. I know it doesn’t make any sense. That’s just the way my brain was working right then. Mom and Megan have been such a pain in the ass since all this started and they hold a lot of shit against me, but they are great with Anna and Bray I have to be thankful for that at least. Dad has been so much easier to deal with but he’s had his moments at times. You know Chad even has given me shit about this. Chad of all people, he is the poster child of dysfunctional. We have gotten better with each other.” Jared looks up at Jensen.

Jensen sits and stares at him for awhile. “You know that I’ve had problems with my family ever since I told them I was gay and then they disowned me when I married you. Well those first two years that I said we would discuss kids my mom tore me up about you, having a family with you and about everything that could happen to you if you tried to have a kid. I just couldn’t take it anymore after two years and I just snapped. I’m sorry for that Jared. But you should have told me. You know about ten years ago before I found you that I would have given anything to of had kids. But she poisoned me to the thought of even trying.” Jensen swallows hard.

“I’m sorry Jensen, but you never said a word to me and I can’t read minds.” Jared stares back at him.

“I know but I told Chris because he knows what I have gone through with her a long time before any sexual problems or preferences or marrying a man even became an option for me. He was my life line many times when I just didn’t care anymore. He stopped me from doing a lot of really stupid shit, Jared you need to understand that.” Jensen licks his lips and takes a drink of his water.

“Jensen. If you would have told me about your mom we could have worked on making things better. I was deceitful and I made bad choices when I did what I did. But your choice in not telling me about your family didn’t help smooth over any of my choices. It hurt me when I left. I was pregnant and we fought, I something in my head told me that it wasn’t going to change, ever and I couldn’t bring my child into that environment in good faith that it would change. That if you knew you would be okay with it and treat us right. I know its irrational now. I know the kind of person you are and I know you would have figured out how to make it work. But at that time I just couldn’t see you doing that and I couldn’t let you in. I’m sorry now. My kids… Our kids have been without you for three years and I want you to know them. I want all of us to be what I ran from almost four years ago.” Jared looks at Jensen with a tear stained face.

“Jared. My life sucks. It has always sucked. It has sucked from the time I started school and just went downhill from there. As long as someone could make my life hell they did it. I was always the pretty boy with the cock sucking lips and the long girly lashes; I was never a boy to anyone. I was shoved into a corner and everyone took their hits. I was never good enough for my own mother. I was too geeky to play sports and then to withdrawn to join anything. The only person I had was Chris and then Steve. She even turned my own brother and sister against me.” Jensen stops and looks at Jared with total sadness across his face.

“Okay I think we need to take a breath and settle down for right now. Let’s get you out of here and then see about talking with Loretta. I have to tell you she’s nosey and she doesn’t stop. You think you have had it bad since you woke up and they wouldn’t let you sleep. Well magnify that by about 100 and you have Loretta. She’s hardcore.” Jared shakes his head.

Jensen takes a slow breath and looks up at Jared, “Maybe that’s what we need. We have issues someone needs to break apart.” Jensen says.


	26. Chapter 26

This chapter has derogatory statement made about homosexuality and mpreg. Just a warning before you read it.

 

Chapter 26

The doctor that had been taking care of Jensen had been in before Jared went home to spend sometimes with the kids. He would be getting out tomorrow. He really wanted to go to Jared’s when he was discharged but he didn’t know if Jared would take him or if he would rather have him meet the kids on public ground, nothing private. Maybe if he explained to Jared he didn’t want to be a blubbering idiot in public when he first met Anna and Bray he would let him meet them at their home.

Okay he couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about meeting his kids and then the prospect of being able to get Jared to talk to him about everything. He knows he will have to come clean with all of his pathetic shit to but if it means he would have his real family then it’s all good. And really if he thinks about it he is pathetic. He relies on Chris too much and he needs to become someone that can take control of his situations to get a good outcome. He should have never let Jared walk away might as well say four years ago. He should have hunted him down and made him talk. They wouldn’t have been here now and they would be together. He rolls over and looks at the door, slipping farther into his head. He remembers the last conversation he had with his mother.

“Jensen what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with that faggy husband of yours? You did leave us for him.” Donna smiles at him.

“Mother.” Jensen snaps.

“What, Jensen. It is the truth isn’t it. I told you that if you married him that I would not deal with the revolting affair and you would not have my support. You are still my son and I love you, but you do not have my.” Donna stops as Jensen cuts her off.

“Mother I came here to tell you that I will not be coming back here if you cannot respect my choice to be with Jared. I am finally happy. Can’t you just deal with that and be happy that I have that.” Jensen looks at her.

“You’re a fag, Jensen. And you married one that could give you… how can I put this lightly.” She stops while she taps her finger against her lip. “Ah, I have it; A man that can give you children out of his ass. They will be children that will have problems and will never be right. It goes against God and it is unnatural.” Donna smiles at him.

“If you think that it is so against God then why can Jared carry children? He was born this way, Mother. Nothing can change that. And I love him. We are going to have a family and you will not touch any of it with your sickness.” Jensen stands and wonders how she could have given birth to him.

“You know Jensen, you’re doomed. Every time you try it will die or something will happen to him and you will be left with nothing but yourself and the awful outcome. All alone with your spawn and no one to help you. Or he will see how disgusting it was to have it with you and run for the hills. Chris will even be disgusted with you.” Donna laughs when she sees how she has affected her son.

“I don’t understand how you can be so hateful. I’m your son. I’m done with you. I will never be back.” Jensen turns and tried not to run from her.

 

“You will be back when you realize that I was right and you need me.” Donna screams out as the door slams shut.

Jensen is snapped out his memory of his mother when Jared walks into the room.

“Hey are you okay?” Jared asks him. He is looking at Jensen with a worried look.

“Yeah, just stuck in my head.” Jensen wipes his face trying to cover the sadness he feels.

“Are you sure? You look like you were about to cry.” Jared walks up to the bed.

“Yeah I’m fine.” Jensen snaps.

“Okay.” Jared steps back.

“Jared. I’m sorry. It… Just bad thoughts from the past.” Jensen was going to tell Jared but then he thought better of it. If Jared knew he would leave and not come back and he would never find him.

“So you get out tomorrow. Do you think you would feel up to going out to dinner with me and the kids? I mean nothing fancy maybe McDonalds or something like that. Discerning palates of three year olds are simple.” Jared gives a little laugh.

“I was hoping to maybe meet them in a little less public place for the first time. I don’t want to be a blubbering idiot in public. Please Jared.” Jensen pleads for this.

“Okay, what were you thinking?” Jared asks.

“I thought maybe we could just meet at your place. That way they were comfortable and not out of their element. I would rather I feel awkward then them feel that way.” Jensen’s face is scrunched up in uncertainty.

“I guess that would be okay. It’s not much but its home for now.” Jared smiles at him and Jensen’s face smoothes out.

“Okay but I don’t have my car, so would you take me back to the hotel first?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah, Jen I wasn’t going to leave you stranded.” Jared snickers at him.

“Oh, okay that’s good then. Should I bring something for them or should I just show up?” Jensen asks.

“Jensen your fine, just come over and be yourself.” Jared reaches up and lays his hand on his shoulder.

 

“Okay, I’m just… I’m scared. I don’t know if they’ll like me or if I will act right with them. I don’t have a very good reference base with kids or past experience. Not like I had an excellent childhood.” Jensen looks back down at his hands.

“Jensen, you’re not your mother. I know she was shit for a mother but you are not her in any way and they’ll love you. I have played you up to them so much.” Jared gasps as he realizes what he said. “I mean I told them a lot of good stuff about you.” Jared can feel his face reddening.

“Jared, please tell me they don’t think I’m like Superman or something.” Jensen groans.

“No, you’re their Daddy Jensen. I never told them that we fought. They think that you had to stay in Austin because you had an important job you couldn’t leave.” Jared looks at him sheepishly.

“I am an AD Exec Jared, that’s not important.” Jensen shakes his head.

“But they are three they don’t understand that and when they got older and understood more I was going to explain it to them.” Jared tells him.

“Okay we will worry about that later.” Jensen closes his eyes and shakes his head.

“Are you tired? Maybe you should sleep.” Jared smiles at him.

“I’ve been trying for the last hour. Every time I try my head keeps on going. It’s almost as bad as them bothering me.” Jensen scoots down the bed.

“Well why don’t you try now. If you want I can shake you every couple of minutes to wake you back up.” Jared gives a small laugh.

“Don’t be an ass.” Jensen scowls at him.

“It’s just a suggestion.” Jared smirks.

Jensen huffs and rolls to his side, pulling his blanket up around his shoulders. “I don’t understand how you ran and still talked about me in good faith. How could you run away from me and be so turned away from me and still spread my good graces all over the place to those kids; when you couldn’t stand me.”

“It was never that I couldn’t stand you; I was afraid you couldn’t stand me. If you knew what I did you wouldn’t want me either.” Jared looks at him from the side.

“Jared what did you do that was so bad?” Jensen asks. He really wanted to know what Jared felt he did that was so bad that he had to run.

“Let’s just wait until we are talking with Loretta and have someone to buffer us, okay?” Jared asks.

“I guess. I’ll have to wait if you’re not going to just tell me.” Jensen exhales loudly.

“I know you are frustrated because I won’t open up, but the hospital is not the place to have this conversation.” Jared shakes his head.

“But you start to talk and then you stop and it’s driving me fucking crazy. I start to get you to open up and then you slam the door shut. This Loretta chick better have nerves of fucking steel because you are going to give her a run for her money.” Jensen laughs almost hysterically.

“You have no room to talk the only person you talk to is Chris.” Jared retorts.

“If I’m paying this chick believe you me I’m going to be fucking talking.” Jensen stares at Jared.

“Okay I give. After you meet the kids tomorrow I will call Loretta and make our first appointment.” Jared says raising his hands in surrender.

“You almost act like this is going to be a hardship for you.” Jensen scrunches his eyes up.

“I have met Loretta. She is hardcore. She would prod a rattlesnake and then talk it out of biting her.” Jared does spastic movements with his hands.

Jensen eyebrows rise up and he laughs at Jared. “You act like she the devil in carnet.”

“She is evil. She convinced my mom to go off on me. She told her that she would feel better after she did it. And well she did.” Jared adds at the end turning his head away.

“Oh so that woman made you feel like an ant on a mole hill and went with it. This is going to be so much fun.” The sarcasm rolls off Jensen’s words.

“Just wait you will see what it’s like when you meet her. You do know that she is in San Antonio? We will have to figure out how we are going to see her.” Jared looks up at Jensen.

“Austin is closer to San Antonia than Houston.” Jensen states.

“I know that but I don’t know.” Jared looks at him wide eyed.

“Jared. I didn’t mean it that way. I meant that you could move back to San Antonio or back to Austin.” Jensen suggests.

“I came here because the position was better and the pay is better. If I go back to San Antonio I go right back to the same job and less pay.” Jared tells him.

“What about Austin, they don’t have any openings?” Jensen asks.

“I didn’t check. I was trying to stay away from there.” Jared looks down at his feet.

“Jared. I never sold the house.” Jensen looks at him.

“Mom told me you got rid of it.” Jared snaps up and looks at him.

“No I paid it off and told her I sold it. Nobody knows I kept it. Not even Chris.” Jensen shakes his head.

“Jensen, why did you keep it?” Jared asks feeling tears build in his eyes.

“Because I hoped that you would come back to me and we could be together again. Now if you want you can live there with the twins. It will need to be cleaned. But everything is how we left it I only stayed there for about a month. All the utilities are still on. It just needs cleaned and moved in.” Jensen looks at Jared hopefully.

“I don’t know. I will have to think about it, Jensen. This is big.” Jared blinks back tears.

“I know it is but I want you to think about it. It would be rent free. And before you say no it was your house to.” Jensen smiles at him.

“But you used your money to pay it off. It would only be right for me to pay you rent.  
Jared replies.

“But I paid it off for us. And we are still married and what is mine is yours.” Jensen says.

“We haven’t been together in a long time.” Jared looks at Jensen. He doesn’t get why Jensen kept the house.

“You can have your boss check with the hotel in Austin to see if they have anything open in management. We would be close and I could get to know the kids better than if you stayed in Houston. And you’re closer to San Antonio and your family. Jared, just think about it please.” Jensen hopes with all his heart that Jared would really think about coming back.

“Okay but it’s late I think you should try to sleep. We will talk about it all later.” Jared tells him.

Jensen curled up in the blanket and slide down the bed trying to get comfortable. He was asleep after about five minutes of squirming.

Jared was tired too but he had been blown away to learn that Jensen had kept the house and paid it off. If it would have been him he would have sold it and bought another house. Or he would have kept the money and used it for when the kids had been born actually. That’s what he would have done. All said and done he didn’t know how to react to being offered the home that he lived in for five years for him and the twins. He wanted to move back to Austin so the kids could get to know Jensen but with the problems they had he didn’t want Jensen to feel like everything was all fixed when nothing had changed between them. Jared had still left and Jensen had still not wanted kids. But now they had a set of twins that Jared had raised for three years and Jensen had never met at all. He had just moved the kids to Houston and did he really want to drag them back across the state to yet another new city. He would be closer to his family with a shorter drive to visit them and he did love the house. The kids could have separate bedrooms for the first time ever. But then they had slept in the same room since birth so he didn’t know if that would work. He finally decided to stop thinking and sleep. He took advantage of the empty bed and hoped not to get in to much trouble by crashing on it.

When morning rolled around Jensen had already showered, dressed and eaten his shitty breakfast before he had even thought of waking up.

“Thank you for finally waking up sleeping dead. I am ready to go; I have been discharged.” Jensen waves the paper in front of his nose.

“Dude I haven’t even been awake for like a minute yet. Hold your horses. Let me wake up for a minute.” Jared sits up scowling at Jensen. Swallowing and smacking his lips. “My mouth tastes like shit. It’s all the fucking hospital coffee I’ve been drinking.”

“You drank it.” Jensen quips.

“Let me go to the bathroom and I’ll be good to go.” Jared stands up and stretches, yawning.

After coming out of the bathroom Jensen called the nurse into the room to make sure there wasn’t anything else he needed to do. But he had to be wheeled out in a chair.

“What? Why? I’m fine.” Jensen says flabbergasted.

“Hospital policy, hun.” Georgia says patting his shoulder after he sat down in the chair, mumbling under his breath. “You will be okay sugar it’s only until we get you downstairs.”

“Yeah Jen we don’t want you to fall down and hurt yourself.” Jared snickers.

“Shut up, Jared. I’m feeling better.” Jensen scowls at him from his wheelchair.

“I’m going to go get the car and pull it up.” Jared smiles at him and Georgia.

After Jared was disappearing around the corner Georgia speaks up, “I know you two got history but I think you need to cut each other some slack. Only way you gonna make it is if you open up to each other. Slow and easy. Or your gonna tear each other’s throats out and leave nothin’ but bloody stumps behind.” She pulls to a stop at the front door and waits for Jared to pull the car up. Jensen laughs when he sees Jared pull up in the same SUV he had when he left. It looked the same maybe a little more beat up but still in good shape.

“What are you laughing at?” Jared asks.

Jensen points out the door and says, “You still have it.”

“Yeah, like I could afford to buy anything new. I had two kids to house, feed and clothe. They are more important than new wheels. Anyways she’s been good to me.” Jared smacks the side of the truck as Jensen gets in the seat.

“I didn’t mean it like that Jared. I meant that I can’t believe it still runs. It’s like a hundred years old.” Jensen laughs.

“Shut up and she’s not a hundred years old more like fifteen with minimal rust and a well kept engine.” Jared says with all honesty.

“Okay. I stand corrected and have seen my misconceptions on your fine vehicle.” Jensen laughs even harder.

“Now you’re just being an ass.” Jared smirks.

“How in the hell do you get two kids in here with it being a two-door and you being a giant?” Jensen smiles at Jared.

“It’s not small. It’s a Tahoe.” Jared says as he looks over at Jensen who is looking at him seriously. “Very carefully, okay.”

Jensen breaks into a loud laugh as he looks from Jared to the back seat.

“They get in on their own now I just have to buckle them up. It was way harder when they were in the baby seats.” Jared looks at him as he turns on the radio.

“You put a system in here didn’t you?” Jensen looks at him in awe.

“Just an aftermarket radio, a small amp and a kicker box, what I don’t have the kids all the time. Like for ten minutes from the daycare to work and I can indulge.” Jared says when he sees Jensen’s eyebrows go up towards his hairline.

“I always knew you were a noise junkie.” Jensen smiles at him.

“I don’t get much for myself Jen. I least I have this and the kids.” Jared takes a quick look at him before turning back to the road.

“I didn’t mean anything by it Jared. I was just messin’ with you.” Jensen looks out the window like he did do something wrong. Well, shit it went from teasing to Jared acting like he committed murder by it.

“I know you didn’t Jen. It’s just hard sometimes and I wish I could just have some time to myself.” Jared says with a shake of his head. He only says it because he is a full time dad and he works full time, too. The only time he isn’t with the kids is at work and on the drive to pick them up. When he lived in San Antonio his parents would take them for a couple days a month so he could breathe and not worry about them. But now it’s just him.

“Jared I didn’t say it to make you feel bad. I…it was just a comment.” Jensen states.

“Jensen some things are just tender subjects, okay.” Jared says.

“Okay.” Jensen says.

When they get to the hotel Jared gives Jensen his address and easy directions to get there. Jensen goes in and retreats to his room. He had told Jared to give him about two hours and he would be there. He went to his room and flopped down on the bed. The day had started out somewhat good and his mouth had gotten him into trouble with just a little teasing. He didn’t know if he could do this. He was scared shitless thinking he was going to slip up and say the wrong thing. He felt really jittery and wishes he could figure out how he could calm down. He decided to call Chris.

“Hey.” He said when Chris answered.

“So I take it your out of the hospital?” Chris asks.

“Yes and in about an hour and a half I will be meeting my kids. I’m scared.” Jensen huffs out.

“You will be fine. They’re kids. They are your kids.” Chris tells him confidently.

“They might be my kids but they have been living with Jared since they were born and he’s told them stories about me. Like he has made me to be some person I don’t think I can live up, too. Like he has put me up on some pedestal like a superhero or something.” Jensen stops to catch his breath.

“Jen, calm down. They are what three? They don’t get the concept of superheros at that age. You’re just going to be bigger than life to them. At that age everyone looks like a superhero to them.” Chris rationalizes.

“But he said he has played me up to them. He told them that I couldn’t leave my job in Austin because it was important. I AM AN AD EXEC, CHRIS.” Jensen is damn near hyperventilating now.

“Hey, hey settle down. Take a deep breath in and then out. Do you want to go back to the hospital? Deep breathes Jensen.” Chris says sternly.

“Shit, Chris I don’t think I can do this.” Jensen whines.

“Yes you can. I know you can. Ten years ago you would have done anything to have those kids by your side and then that bitch of a mother put stupid, stupid misdoubts into your head. Now you are going to suck it up and be a man and go see your kids. Do you understand me?” Chris says with stern love to Jensen.

“Yes I understand. I will be okay and go see my kids. Thank you Chris.” Jensen replies.

“See it’s not all bad. Life is good and you will be fine.” Chris reassures him.

“Okay I will talk to you later.” Jensen hangs up.

Jensen swallows around the lump in his throat and walks over to his suitcase, digging through the items in it trying to find a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He can’t go in the sweats he has on. Walking into the bathroom stripping out of the sweats and changing methodically, he looks in the mirror, “you can do this they are three year olds, and you can stand in front of those assholes in the meeting rooms and sell them a bag of sand for a campaign and they love it.” Jensen says trying to build himself up. He takes a deep breath and turns out of the room. He has an hour before he is supposed to be at Jared. So he calls Jared to see if he can come over now. Jared tells him it would be fine because the kids have been told they would be meeting him today and are driving him nuts with questions on when he was going to be there.

After he hangs up he looks in the mirror one more time, grabs his keys and leaves the room. Walking out of the hotel and getting in the car looking out the window and driving into the street. It takes all of about ten minutes to make it to Jared’s building. He sits there looking at the building for five minutes and then gets out. His heart feels like it is trying to makes its way out of his chest wall by beating itself to death against his ribs and he’s sweating like he is a stuck pig. He wipes his hands on his pants and takes the elevator to the top. Taking a deep breath before knocking on the door, he stands there and waits. He hears a loud commotion on the other side of the door and Jared telling them to calm down.

Jared opens the door and smiles at him. “Come on in.” Jared stands back and waves him in.

Two little blonde heads snap up from the couch. They are sitting one on each side of Megan. Green eyes stare at him. His breath gets stuck in his throat and he can feel the tears prickle in his eyes.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Jensen stands there as the twins stare back at him. He clears his throat trying to tell them hi. When he finds his voice it’s a little high. “Hi, I’m Jensen.”

Both of the kids come running at him and before he knows it he is engulfed in little arms that are pulling at his pants. He bends down and hugs them both to him. He is crying openly and he hugs them tighter.

“Daddy Jensen, what wrong? Why are you crying?” The little girl, Anna asks him.

“I’m just really happy to finally meet you. Both of you.” He says as he kisses them both on the forehead. He stands up and takes their hands moving them farther into the room so he can sit down on the floor, pulling them into his lap. He holds them as tight as he can without hurting them.

“Jen are you okay?” Jared asks.

“Yeah just a little overwhelmed. I’ll be okay.” Jensen nods his head. He sits and rubs his hands through their hair. Anna’s hair is long with ringlet curls. Bray’s hair reminds him of Jared. They are so beautiful. He doesn’t understand how he let his mother cloud his judgment so badly. It’s probably from all the years of her verbal on slot. His inability to judge the truth from what was actually right in front of him; Jared’s love had brought these two into existence. He shutters at the thought of them never being born now that he is holding them in his arms. He made mistakes and now he needs to make them right. He needs to make it up to the kids and to Jared.

“Jared, we have to make this right.” Jensen says breathlessly.

“Jensen, you need to settle down. You just got out of the hospital. Take some slow deep breaths for me.” Jared says slowly rubbing his back.

Jensen is trying to relax, but he is feeling really, really emotional right now. Megan comes over and kneels in front of him. “Jensen, look at me.” His eyes snap up to her face. “You need to slow your breathing down and stop crying before you pass out.”

Shuttering he lets out a slow breath, “Okay.”

Jared had the kids get up out of his lap and helped him stand. They slowly make it to the couch. Once he is sitting down, a glass of water is in front of him. He takes it and drinks the whole thing in one gulp.

“Are you alright now?” Jared rubs the back of his neck.

“I think so.” He says taking another shuttered breath.

“Annabella and Brayden come here.” Jared calls them over.

“Are you okay now Daddy Jensen?” Brayden asks.

“Yeah I was just a little taken over when I finally saw you, is all. You are both very beautiful children.” Jensen says rubbing one of each of their cheeks.

“We have your eyes and hair Papa told us.” Bray says.

“And I have your nose.” Anna pipes in.

“Yes you both do. And that is my nose.” Jensen confirms their statements, tweaking Anna on her nose.

Jensen takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a second.

“Why don’t you two go play in your room for a little bit while I talk to your Daddy Jensen, please?” Jared asks them.

They both stand up from where they were kneeling on front of Jensen, leaving the room.

“Oh shit that was intense.” Jensen whimpers.

“Okay one language. They have been picking stuff up and repeating it. There is a no cussing policy in this house. Two you need to breathe your still getting over pneumonia and don’t need a setback. I know it’s a lot to take in, but since they have finally met you they are going to want to see you again. And they can’t do that if you’re in the hospital.” Jared caresses Jensen cheek as he turns his head to meet his eyes.

“Okay, I will try to relax. It’s very overwhelming how much they take after me. I couldn’t believe it till I saw it with my own eyes, Jared they are so beautiful. I’m sorry.” Jensen starts crying again.

Jared wraps his arms around Jensen holding him tight. “I know Jen, I know.” Jared rocks him back and forth. Megan walks out of the room to go check on the kids leaving Jared to settle Jensen down.

Megan watches the twins from the doorway and breathes a sigh of relief. Finally Jensen has met his kids. She knew it would be hard on him. She knew how hard it was to keep it from him all these years, she had been there when they were born and watched them grow. She feels the tears start to well up in her eyes; finally life will be right again. Now hopefully the two of them can get past all the pent up bullshit they have been hiding from each other. She knows she has been hard on Jared at times but she had been around Jensen when he was having trouble dealing with Jared taking off, how he had wanted Jared to talk to him. The night of their last fight he didn’t run to Chris he had actually went out and did his own thinking. He had told her he wanted to work this out with Jared but he had disappeared and refused to answer any of his calls. Totally shut him out, just kept telling him that he loved him and then refuses to even see him or talk about it. She knew that once they did start talking about it, it would come out that Jared had gone off his birth control and he intentionally became pregnant to make Jensen accept it. That Jared was going to try and lie to Jensen about knowing he was pregnant, like he had tried to hide it from them.

“Megan.” Bray says.

“Yes Bray.”

“Why are you cryin?” Bray asks.

“Oh these are happy tears baby. I’m just happy that your Daddy Jensen had finally met you two. I’ve wanted this day to happen for many years and it finally has.” Megan smiles at them.

At that moment Jared calls them back to the living room. Jensen has settled down considerably. He is sitting there smiling like a loon. He holds his arm open for the kids to come to him. Jared gets up and leaves them alone. Jensen sits and talks to them for a while until they get up and drag him to their room so he can play with them.

Megan can hear laughter coming from the room. Intense giggles are coming from Jensen. She can hear him answering the question they ask of him. After a while they come out of the room. The kids are hungry. Megan goes to Jared room and knocks on his door. He tells her to come in. He is lying on the bed. She can tell he has been crying. “Jay, the kids are hungry.” Megan tells him.

“Okay, I’ll be out in a few minutes.” Jared tells her.

“Do you want to talk about it for a minute?” Megan asks.

“No I’ll be fine.” Jared says sitting up.

“That’s bullshit, Jared.” Megan stands in front of him.

“Megan.” Jared mutters.

“You know that it’s just as hard on you as it is on him. You need to talk about this shit.” Megan points her finger at him.

“Not right now Megan.” Jared says sternly.

“Yes right now, Jared, talk to me.” Megan stands her ground.

“It hurts okay. Is that what you want to hear? My heart is hurting so bad right now I can barely stand it. He is out there and I am in here. He is paying attention to our children and I am in here. Do you know how many times I have dreamed about this very moment and I have locked myself in this room; because I can’t stand to see him look at me. I did that. I brought this shit down on all of us. I started it and I don’t know how to fix it.” Jared sobs.

Megan wraps her arms around her brother. She runs her hands through his hair trying to comfort him, kissing his forehead. “We tried to get you to listen, Jared. You are so damn hard headed. We wanted you to come clean to avoid this. Now you need to stand up and face your fears head on. Make the life you wanted then come true, now. Go out there and make Jensen know you do still love him and will work to make this better.” Megan looks at him.

Jared sniffles, “Okay, I’m good. Let me go to the bathroom and I’ll be out.”

Megan leaves Jared to his own devices and goes back out to tell them he would be a few.

“Do you guys know where you want to eat?” Jensen says as he ruffles Bray’s hair.

“I want pizzas.” Anna pipes up.

“We can gota Chuck E. Cheese.” Bray smiles at his sister.

“Well let’s see what Papa says when he comes out and go from there.” Megan looks at Jensen.

He can tell from the look on her face that Jared was having a problem, but he probably wouldn’t find out what it might be until Jared tells him or he could figure it out.

Jared cleared his throat as he walked into the room, “Did I hear that two rug rats where hungry?”

“Yes.” They both screamed out.

“Okay. What would you like to eat?” Jared asked.

“Pizzas at Chuck E. Cheese.” They both reply.

Jared cringes a little knowing how much of a pain in the ass Chuckie’s is because neither of them can really, play any of the games. Maybe since he has two extra sets of hands it won’t be as bad as normal.

“Well before we go anywhere, I think two little one’s need to hit the bathroom and then we can go. Are we all riding together?” Jared asks as the kids run off to take care of business.

“I can ride in back with the kids.” Jensen says honestly.

“It’s you funeral.” Megan smirks.

“They can’t be that bad.” Jensen looks at her questionably.

“You’ve not been stuck with them in a car and you’ve just meet them.” Megan smiles widely at him.

“Is this bad?” Jensen asks Jared wide-eyed.

“It’s not that bad. Megan is just a bit overzealous to the antics of two three year olds in a car.” Jared smiles at him.

“Okay.” Jensen says worriedly. “Should I be worried?”

“No it will be fine.” Jared nods his head.

“You say that now.” Megan shakes her head as she purses her lips.

Jared looks at her as he narrows his eyes. They are not that bad in the car unless they are stuck there for a while. Like on a trip from San Antonio to Houston. Now that was pure hell.

Anna comes out of the bathroom first, standing there staring at the adults like they were holding up the process of them leaving right now as they talked about riding in the car. Bray comes out and stands beside her and quietly asks, “Are they talkin’ bout us?”

“They say we don’t do good in the car.” Anna replies.

“Can we go?” Bray asks.

“Yes we can go.” Jared says.

They all head downstairs and pile into Jared’s Tahoe. On the ride Jensen doesn’t understand what Megan had been talking about. Anna and Bray didn’t act out at all. Well they might have been a little excited and didn’t stop talking and maybe did ask if they were there yet, a few times, but they are three. So by the time they did arrive he had told them they were almost there a total of ten times. Okay maybe he did understand part of what Megan had been talking about. He thought that was nothing, they could have been fighting or arguing or even worse car sick. So he counts it as a win.

They walk into the restaurant and go through the line and get their hands stamped. Jared orders the two pizza and drinks for them also getting the salad bar. While they waited for the food to come out Jensen took both of them to look at all the stuff they could try and do.

“He seems to be doing pretty well with them.” Megan comments as she watches Jensen buy tokens for the kids.

“Yeah, I always knew he would be great with kids. He just never had any faith in himself. If he had just one time given himself the chance to try things would have been so different. And I was going to push him to do it, but I chickened out and ran.” Jared smiles sadly at her.

“Jared, I know I’ve been hard on you but I wanted you to think about the choices you made and seriously think about them and I might have been a little mean. But you have to understand the only thing I wanted was for you to not have to go through this now. He loved you and you broke not only his heart but your own by being so damn hard headed and not talking it out. Like you said just one time if you two would have went about it differently things would be so much different.” Megan looks from Jared to Jensen and the kids.

“Here let’s try and play skee-ball. It’s fun. You just take a ball and roll it up the lane and try and get it into the top holes but any of them will be good.” Jensen explains.

“Why would you roll it w-when you could throw it?” Bray asks.

“Because if you throw it to hard it can come back and hit you. And you could break something. Didn’t your Papa tell you that you never throw balls inside?” Jensen asks.

“We aren’t allowed to have balls in the house no more because Anna broke the living room light.” Bray says looking at his sister.

“It was an accdent.” Anna pipes up.

“I know you probably didn’t mean to.” Jensen bends down to her level cupping her cheek. She smiles at him and hugs him. “So do you guys want to try this?”

“Yes.” They both answer him.

He puts token in two of the machines and the balls fall into the slots. “Here let me show you first and then you both can give it a try.” He picks up the ball and rolls up the ramp and lands it in the 10 slot. “Now see it’s not that hard. Now you guys try.”

Anna and Bray both take a ball; neither of them makes the first couple of tries but after the third try both of them start making it with ease. Jensen puts another set of tokens in each game and he stands there watching them, smiling from ear to ear. Megan walks over to them when the pizzas are served and Jensen makes sure they both grab their tickets before returning to the table.

After the kids eat a couple of slices Megan takes them to the bathroom. Jared takes a look at Jensen, “You seem to be doing pretty well with them.”

“They are really cool. They are easy to get along with, Jared you have done a good job at raising them so far.” Jensen looks at him shyly.

“Thank you. I’ve done the best I could. They haven’t adjusted well with having to go to daycare, though. They keep fighting with each other.” Jared looks back at Jensen.

“They are kids Jared. We used to fight with our brothers and sisters didn’t we?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah but they used to get along great until the move. Now they pick at each other.” Jared tells him.

“Is this the first time in public care?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah, Momma and Megan used to watch them before.” Jared nods his head.

“They aren’t used to being around those other kids. They probably picked stuff up and decided if they get away with it they can, too.” Jensen smiles at the kids as Megan brings them back.

“Are you two having fun?” Jared smiles at them.

 

“I like that ball thingy.” Bray says nodding his head up and down vigorously.

“Well let’s go see what else we can do.” Jensen stands throwing his napkin down on his plate.

“I’ll come with you.” Jared stands up. “Will you watch the table?” Jared asks Megan.

“That’s fine. If one of you gets tired I’ll take over.” Megan smiles at the four of them. She watches as the four ventures out onto the play floor. And they actually stay together. Jared helps Anna while Jensen attends to Bray. They play all the games with their father figures help and Jared doesn’t get frazzled like he normally would. Jensen laughs as he holds Bray up so he bops the moles on the head and Anna plays the SpongeBob game. They come back to the table with handfuls of tickets. The three adults sit and count the tickets and then help the twins pick out things they can redeem them for. Jensen looks tired and Jared suggests they go back to his apartment. On the drive back both Jensen and the twins fall asleep in the back seat. Jared pulls his phone out and snaps a picture of the three before he wakes them up. Jensen’s head is leaned back on the seat with both of the kids’ heads leaning in on a shoulder on each side. He sends it to his Momma.

He gets them up and they make it upstairs and he gets the twins laid down and he makes Jensen stretch out on the couch. He falls back to sleep almost instantly. Jared joins Megan in the kitchen.

“Maybe it was too soon for him to go do that.” Jared looks out the kitchen doorway at Jensen asleep on the couch.

“No he’ll be fine. It did him good to spend that time with them today.” Megan says.

“Yeah but he just got out of the hospital this morning he should have been resting not out running around today.” Jared looks back at her.

“Let him sleep on the couch. If he wakes up send him home, if not let him sleep.” Megan shrugs a shoulder.

At that moment Jared’s phone rings. It’s his Momma. “Hello, Momma.”

“Hello Jared. How are they getting along?” Sherry asks.

“They are all sleeping as we speak. We went out to Chuck E. Cheese and Jensen played with them and they wore each other out. Resulting in that cute picture I sent you.” Jared smiles to himself. He can be biased. And it was cute.

“Is he okay? I mean he didn’t overdo it did he?” Sherry asks.

“I don’t know. He’s sleeping. He seemed okay just tired.” Jared tells her sneaking another peek out into the living room.

“Just keep an eye on him. His immune system won’t be back up for a little. Did they give him prescriptions?” Sherry inquires.

“No. They told him to take it easy and not overdo it, that’s all.” Jared tells her walking, back over and sitting down at the table.

“Okay just keep an eye on him. I know it’s not your responsibility but if you could just humor me, please.” Sherry asks him.

“Momma, I’m not going to shove him in a corner and ignore him. But he is a grown man and if he gets shitty I’m backing off.” Jared tells her.

“He’s not going to get shitty. He might get aggravated but not shitty. He’s probably going to let it slide off him like butter on a stack of hot cakes because he’s with the kids now.” Sherry hums after she tells her son.

“Okay, Momma I’ll believe you if you say so, but I’ll really believe it when I see it.” Jared says.

“How are the kids getting along with him?” Sherry asks.

“They seem to love him. They barely left his side all day. And he started playing with them as soon as we got to the Chuckie’s. And he really got into it. The kids had a lot of fun with him today.” Jared tells her.

“Well that’s really good for them. I hope it stays that way and everyone can get along.” Sherry sounds slightly doubtful.

“Momma, I hope this isn’t you trying to wheedle your way into a discussion about what we are going to do.” Jared states to his mother.

“No, just hinting at the idea that you two need to work on it is all.” Sherry says.

“Momma I don’t need any more added pressure right now.” Jared moans.

“I know I told you I would back off and I am not being as pushy as normal and I’m not trying to add more pressure.” Sherry tells him.

“Momma I’m going to let you go in case someone decides to wake up and needs something.” Jared brings the conversation to a close.

“All right I will talk to you later then.” Sherry hangs up.

“She’s being her normal self I see.” Megan snorts.

“Yes she is being the normal mother that she is.” Jared looks at his sister, “About as bad as you are.”

“Hey, I’m not our mother.” Megan protests.

“You’re just as bad as she is.” Jared smiles at her.

“That’s damn near an insult.” Megan pouts at him.

“Yes but you are both nosey, pushy, unrelenting and you both love me.” Jared walks up to her pulling her into a hug.

“Oh I knew you liked it and couldn’t live without us dippin’ in your business.” Megan crows.

“Yes having the two of you be the bane of my existence is what I live for. It’s the only highlight that I have to look for on a daily basis.” Jared says sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Megan smacks Jared over the head and pushes him away from her. “You’re a freak and I almost want to disown you.”

“What would you do without me; I’m like the only person you two can destroy regularly and still be able tell him that you love him.” Jared smiles sweetly at her.

“We do not destroy you. We loudly disagree with your stupid choices and verbally give you our opinions about said choices.” Megan gives him a line of bullshit.

“Okay, if you say so. You know being that they are still asleep I’m going to bed, in my own bed for once in almost a week. Are you going to be up for a while?” Jared yawns loudly.

“Yes because I am not going to bed at seven o’clock at night.” Megan says as she looks at her watch.

“Goodnight Megan, if any of them wake up and they want me, you know where I’ll be.” Jared yawns again.

“Alright big brother go lay you’re not so little head down and go to sleepy.” Megan baby talks to him.

“Shut up, Megan.” Jared smirks.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Jensen woke up falling, in a very dark room. “Shit.” He says catching himself. Pulling himself back onto the couch, yeah a couch. He really can’t remember much after leaving the restaurant, damn being sick has really messed him up. He did have a lot of fun today, but he had worn himself out. He was still tired; a good tired though, playing and chasing the kids around all day had been an adventure he never thought he would experience. He was happy, really happy something he hasn’t felt in a while. And his neck hurt, damn he was sleeping on a couch. He sat up and looked around; the bathroom light was on, also a light in the kitchen shined under the door. He got up and walked to the kitchen. The clock on the stove showed that it was 3:05 and still dark. He opened cupboard doors until he found glasses and was able to get a drink. Then he walked to the fridge, opening the door to see what he could find. Not much of anything he really wanted, it was Jared fridge. He remembered how Jared used to shop when they were still together. If he wanted to eat something besides healthy he had to get it for himself. Shutting the fridge door, he goes back to the cupboards he thought he saw pop tarts. Bingo, strawberry not his favorite but they would do. Taking the first bite he realizes why they are in the cupboard with only the one package. They are stale. How do you keep a package of pop tarts until they are stale? Throwing them away he goes on a search to find something else. Not really finding anything he wants to eat. He is startled when Jared comes into the kitchen.

“What are you doing? It’s like 3:30.” Jared whines.

“I’m hungry and you don’t have anything to eat.” Jensen looks at him.

Jared rolls his eyes and looks at Jensen, “Did you try the drawer in the fridge the lunch meat is in there?”

“No, but I ate a stale bite of pop tart.” Jensen cringes.

“I didn’t know I had any pop tarts.” Jared looks confused.

“Yeah the main thought in my sentence was ‘stale’. You still buy groceries like you are a health nut. You really make these kids eat all this healthy crap?” Jensen snickers.

“It’s not crap its food and you would do better if you ate healthier.” Jared smiles at Jensen.

“Okay where’s your bread?” Jensen stomach growls to emphasize his question.

“In the cupboard by the fridge with the chips.” Jared smiles.

“You have chips. I could almost kiss you.” Jensen drops his gaze from Jared’s face.

“Don’t hurt yourself; they’re baked chips, not fried.” Jared laughs.

“What?” Jensen looks at him in horror.

“They are baked not fried, no extra oil.” Jared walks to the fridge to get the meat out.

“Okay, whatever it’s food and has needless calories so I will be fine.” Jensen replies.

“I only have turkey left. Anna can sit and eat ham all day by itself.” Jared lays the mayo, tomato and cheese beside the package of meat.

“I don’t care I’m hungry. It has to be better than the hospital food.” Jensen tells him.

They stand in relative silence as Jensen makes himself a sandwich and Jared gets cups out of the cupboard and pours out milk to go with the sandwiches. He hands Jensen the cup and Jensen looks at him. “What no beer?” Jensen asks.

“No, beer. I have two kids why would I have beer.” Jared asks looking at Jensen as if he’s lost his mind.

“People who have kids drink beer.” Jensen retorts.

“I don’t.” Jared replies.

“Never.” Jensen asks as his eyebrows go up.

“I might go out for one drink and that’s it. But not since I moved here. I have no one to watch the kids.” Jared shakes his head.

“Damn that sucks. I can watch them. Maybe you and Megan can go out and have a good time.” Jensen offers.

“No I don’t think so. I’d probably get too drunk and feel like shit afterwards.” Jared tells him.

“That’s the whole point of tying one on. You get shit faced and then the next morning you feel like shit.” Jensen says taking a big bite of his sandwich.

“Yeah but the kids get up early and they would want to know where I was that night and then I’d be all yucky and they will want to know why and I’d have to explain. It would be a bigger headache than it would be worth.” Jared tells him.

“You think too much.” Jensen tells him.

“Says the man who passed out on the stairs to the bedroom after tying one on.” Jared quips.

“That was one time.” Jensen defends.

“Yeah but don’t you think one time was enough. You always got shit faced and then I had to take care of you.” Jared tells him.

“I don’t drink like that anymore. Things have changed a lot since you left. I was drunk all the time right after you left.” Jensen takes a long drink from his milk glass.

“That’s good that you cut back.” Jared nods his head.

“It was pretty bad there for a while Chris would get so pissed at me, I have puked in his couch, kitchen sink, and I think I puked in the fridge one time, too.” Jensen laughs.

“That’s gross.” Jared laughs with him. “I am going back to bed. Are you good with your sandwich and chips?”

“Yeah, I’ll eat this, use the bathroom and lay back down on your shitty couch. My neck hurts.” Jensen tells him.

“I have an extra pillow if you need it. I’ll bring it out and put it on the couch for you.” Jared gets up and walks out of the kitchen.

Jensen eats his food and washes the dishes off. Uses the bathroom and lies back down. He doesn’t understand how they are getting along so well with their past problems. He is hoping the meetings with Loretta go well. With having a full stomach it doesn’t take him long to fall back to sleep.

Jared was lying in his bed sleeping when he had heard the cupboards being opened and shut. He knew it had to be Jensen. Megan had popped in before she went to sleep to tell him everyone was still asleep. He had walked into the kitchen and scared the shit out of Jensen. He was hungry and couldn’t find anything. He was kind of amused that Jensen still bitched about the healthy food. The idea was that he didn’t know where to look to find it. Jared had them hide because if he didn’t the kids would live on a sugar high. He took a little pity on him when he said his neck hurt because of the couch, but wasn’t going to give in totally to him. The pillow was one he used on his bed. It was the bottom pillow and usually ended up on the floor because it got disturbed as Jared hugged the other one or the kids laid on it. He went to sleep thinking about Jensen using his pillow.

When Jared woke up again, he rolled over to Jensen standing in his door telling him the kids where hungry and he didn’t know where to find anything. Jared blinked at him and scrunched up his face. It took him a minute to figure out how Jensen knew about the kids and what he was doing at his bedroom door. Jared rubbed a hand down his face and told him he would be out in a few minutes. Jensen retreated back into the other room.

Jared groaned as he rolled out of bed. His eyes hurt and the little bit that he was up with Jensen the night before had hurt his nightly rest. Not that it had been worth anything for the past week anyhow. He went to the bathroom and washed his face. Going into the kitchen both of the kids where talking animatedly with Jensen. They were describing that their Papa made the best panicakes that were ever made. And that he should eat breakfast with them.

“Yes I know that your Papa makes very good pancakes. We used to eat them all the time when we still lived together.” Jensen tells them.

“How come you stopped livin’ together?” Bray asks.

“That’s a long story that maybe we will tell you when you are older and can understand it better.” Jensen smiles shyly at the boy.

“Papa.” Anna says as she jumps up from her spot at the table. Jared bends down to engulf her in his arms.

“Hey, baby girl how are you this morning?” Jared asks her burying his face in her unruly curls.

“I okay. Daddy Jensen don’t know what he doin’ in kitchen.” Anna pulls away from him to look at his face.

“Well, it’s probably not that he doesn’t know what he’s doing in the kitchen it’s that he doesn’t know where things are kept.” Jared tells her. He stands up and walks over to the counter stooping down to open a bottom cupboard and pulling out an electric griddle. He walks over to another cupboard pulling out the pancake mix and a bowl, then walking to the fridge to grab the milk and eggs. Setting everything down he looks over his shoulder and tells the kids it’s okay if they want to go watch cartoons while he gets breakfast started.

“Do you want any help with anything?” Jensen asks.

“You can make some scrambled eggs. The pan is in the drawer of the stove and the bowl it right here.” Jared grabs a bowl and hands it to him. “And here’s a spatula. The whisk is in that container.” Jared points to the utensil container on the counter.

“Okay. How many of those eggs do you need for your ‘cakes?” Jensen asks.

“Just two. There are more in the fridge.” Jared smiles at him.

Jensen takes the two eggs and sets them beside Jared bowl. “How many should I do?” Jensen asks.

“Just do the ten that are left.” Jared glimpse over at him.

Jensen takes the last ten eggs and starts cracking them into the bowl. Reaches over and grabs the milk from by Jared pours a little into the bowl and places it back by Jared. “Salt?” He asks.

“Above the stove.” Jared replies.

Jensen opens the doors and he has hit the mother lode. He has found Jared stash. “So this is where you keep all the goodies.” There are cookies, snack cakes, more potato chips, still baked but more, and candy.

Jared makes a non-committed noise like he heard what Jensen said but not really going to give an actual comment about it.

Jensen grabs the salt, shuts the doors and looks back at Jared. He huffs out a small laugh. He taps the salt shaker and picks up the whisk. He beats the eggs. “What do you put in the pan to cook them?” Jensen asks.

“Butter it’s in the fridge.” Jared replies, he’s already has the first of the ‘cakes on.

By the time they are done Jared has an amazing stack of pancakes sitting there and Jensen has a nice sized bowl of eggs done. Jared calls the kids back into the kitchen.

“What about Megan?” Jensen asks.

“She will be out. I’m going to let her sleep. She’s been taking care of these two almost all week.” Jared tells him.

Jensen nods his head and sets the silverware down on the table. He plates a pancake for Bray. “Does it need to be cut up?” He asks pointing at the plate.

“Yeah, if not he tries to eat it whole.” Jared smiles at Bray, “and makes an awful mess.”

“I can’t cut it myself.” Bray retorts.

“I know that buddy.” Jared tells him.

Jared looks back at Jensen. He is cutting the pancake up into small pieces and putting syrup on it. He puts the plate in front of Bray. Bray digs in with no thought at all. Jensen sits down across from Jared and takes a plate, putting pancakes and eggs on it. Jared had Anna eating and was serving up his own when Megan walks into the kitchen.

“What is this? You guys are eating and didn’t even think to come wake me up?” Megan sneers.

“No I was letting you sleep because you have been taking care of my kids for almost a week and I thought you deserved to sleep.” Jared says sticking his tongue out at his sister.

Megan returns the gesture with an added eye cross. Jared and Jensen laugh at her. The twins look at the adults in the room like they had lost it.

“Okay. I forgive you. At least it’s still warm.” Megan plops down beside Anna.

“I could have made you more when you got up.” Jared looks at her around Anna’s head.

“I would have eaten it cold.” Megan looks at him.

“Pancakes are gross cold.” Jensen pipes up.

“Speak for yourself. I like them either hot or cold. Now the eggs are gross cold.” Megan tells him.

“To each their own.” Jensen replies.

“I would rather eat cold pancakes then rubbery cold eggs.” Megan cringes at the thought.

“I would eat them.” Bray tells the table.

“Yeah I think you would eat anything runt.” Megan laughs at him.

“I not a runt. And I don’t eat everwething.” Bray tells her.

Megan holds up her hands and tells him, “Okay.”

“Do you want another ‘cake Bray?” Jensen asks him.

“Yes, please.” Bray nods his head.

Jensen drops another one on his plate and cut it for him.

“Thank you Daddy Jensen.” Bray smiles widely at him.

“You’re welcome, Bray.” Jensen pats his back.

“Papa can I have more?” Anna smiles at him.

“Yes Baby girl.” Jared says putting another ‘cake onto her plate and cutting it up.

“Thank you Papa.” Anna keeps smiling as she digs into her food.

They all eat until they are full and Jared rinses the dishes off and Megan says she will wash them when she gets out of the shower. Jensen says bye to the kids and promises to back later in the day to visit with them some more. They give him hugs and kisses before he leaves. Jared tells him that they normally go to bed around 9:00 if he wants to help tuck them in. Jensen asks if he can come back around two. Jared tells him that would be fine.

After Jensen leaves Jared retreats to his room to call Loretta.

 

“Hello, this is Loretta Devine.” Loretta answers the phone.

“Hi, Loretta, this is Jared Padalecki.” Jared tells her.

“Oh, Jared what can I do for you honey?” Loretta soothes.

“Well I was wondering if maybe I could get an appointment to meet with you. Well for me and my husband.” Jared adds at the end.

“OHH, honey so you finally gonna get back together and have that family together rather than separate. That’ll be good for the whole bunch of ya.” Loretta chortles.

“Not by me actually telling him. He was at a conference at the hotel I work at and it kind of just came out by accident. So yeah we want to get everything out in the open and see if we will be able to work things out. We both have some issues. So yeah.” Jared takes a deep breath and blows it out.

“Jared, honey you should of just worked this out a long time ago. It would have been easier on all of ya. But we will work it out. I’ll be sure to get it out of the both of you. Mark my word. The both of you will be so mad at me on some days you will wonder why you even have problems with each other. When would you be able to come by?” Loretta asks.

“Well, that’s the thing Jensen still lives in Austin and I’m in Houston. So he would have to come down and I would have to drive over and he’s only going to be here for another day.” Jared informs her.

“Okay I can see how that is a problem. How about on his trip back to Austin you guys come up for an initial meeting and then we will try and get something set up for future meetings.” Loretta hums.

“Okay I should be able to do that. I’ll let Jensen know about the appointment. Can I ask you something about something Jensen offered me?” Jared hesitates.

“Sure. It’s something that you need another person’s opinion about go right on ahead.” Loretta tells him.

“How do you know that? Okay so when I left my mother had told me that Jensen had sold the house we had lived in and he actually didn’t sell it. He offered to let me stay in it with the kids and I don’t know if I can. I don’t want him to think I am taking advantage of him for a rent free home. He told me it was ours before I left and what’s his is still mine even though we have been separated. I don’t even know if there are any openings in the branch of the hotel up there. And the kids have just started to get used to being here. So I’m kind of lost about what to do.” Jared rambles on.

“Jared. Listen why don’t you look at it this way. That was your home too and you have as much right to live in it as he would. It would be a place for your children to be safe and a place you didn’t have to worry about something going wrong. He doesn’t live there now does he?” Loretta asks.

“No that’s the thing he paid the place off then locked it up and moved out. I don’t get why he did that.” Jared says forlornly.

“That’s just something we will have to work out at the sessions. You think about going to stay in that house and find out about a new job in Austin and think about moving back up there. We need to set up a time to come in how about the two of you stop at my office at about two o’clock.” Loretta tells him.

“That’s fine. I can drop the kids off at Momma before I come. We will be there. Thanks, Loretta.” Jared replies.

“No problem, honey. I’ll talk to you later.” Loretta hangs up.

Jared sits looking at his phone for a few minutes and then he calls Ken. Ken really doesn’t want Jared to leave they just got him, but he said that maybe they could work something out between the Austin and Houston sites. Maybe the other front end manager would be willing to relocate. Ken said that he would let Jared know within the next few days or when he came back from vacation. Jared hangs up his phone and rubs his hand over his face, thinking only if Anna wouldn’t have been sick I might have been able to avoid this mess. He picks his phone back up and calls his Momma.

“Hi Jared, is everything going okay?” Sherry asks before he can even say anything.

“Hi Momma. Yeah I just have to get your thoughts about something. And it doesn’t mean that I’m actually going to do it if I don’t want too.” Jared huffs into the phone.

“Okay that sounds …interesting. Go ahead whenever you’re ready I’m all ears.” Sherry rolls her eyes even though he can’t see it.

“Okay” Jared pauses, “We are going to start seeing Loretta but the problem is she is in San Antonio and I live in Houston and Jensen lives in Austin. We would both have to travel to San Antonio. I would have a longer drive them Jensen, but if I move back I wouldn’t have the job I have now. So I asked Ken to see if there is any opening for higher management in Austin, because Jensenneversoldthehouseandwantsmeandthekidstoliveinit.” Jared says faster than his mother could understand.

“What Jared I didn’t quite get that?” Sherry says frustrated.

Jared huffs and slows himself down, “Jensen never sold the house and he wants us to move into it.”

“As in all of you together or just you and the kids?” Sherry asks

“Just me and the kids.” Jared confirms.

“So he wants you to live in the house with the kids and him not stay there?” Sherry inquires.

“Yes it would be just me and the kids in the house. And he offered it rent free because he said that it was our house and what was his, was mine.” Jared powers on giving his Momma the details.

“Well, it would be closer to us; Jensen would be able to see the kids and it would be easier to see Loretta. What would you do if there isn’t a position at the hotel in Austin?” Sherry asks.

“I don’t know but I can’t move if I don’t have a job, even if it is rent free. I can’t just live there and not pay the bills and the kids both need to eat.” Jared sighs.

“Well, Jared the only thing I can say is go with your heart.” Sherry tells him.

“But my heart doesn’t know any more. I thought I was doing what I needed to do and now I have Jensen and the kids to deal with and I just don’t know which way to turn.” Jared whines.

“Jared, nobody can make this decision for you. It is something you need to figure out solely by yourself. It would be what feels right for you and the kids.” Sherry tells him.

“Momma I don’t know if I can do this.” Jared sobs.

“Jared, baby you need to think about what will make your life easier. Will moving back to Austin help you or hurt you? Will living that close to Jensen make it harder on you or would it make you realize that you shouldn’t have ever left.” Sherry reasons. “Make a list of all the pros and cons of it.”

“I don’t know.” Jared sniffles.

“Nobody but you can make this choice Jared. Think about what you want to do then discuss it with the twins. See if they want to be closer to Jensen and if they would want to move closer to the family and him.” Sherry offers.

“But if there isn’t a position at the hotel I won’t have a job. And I can’t start over Momma. I have worked too hard to get here. The kids are just starting to adjust here. Another move might make them fight more.” Jared shakes his head even though she can’t see his movement.

“Whatever you do I will understand because I know you need to do it but do it for all three of you not just yourself. The kids will be fine. Kids are resilient. They will adapt to what happens.” Sherry informs him.

“I know that Momma. But I just don’t want to do something wrong and ruin it for all of us.” Jared whines.

“Jared you need to breathe and clear your head because feeling like this is just going to make you feel worse. Let go of some of your conflicting emotions and think about the future for the four of you. Would you want your babies to never know their other father and when they graduate or get married for Jensen to never know that they existed. Maybe in the future the two of you can give them more siblings. The two of you can see your kids grow up and cherish grandchildren together. Think of everything you would be able to do together. But it will have to be what you want to do.” Sherry reasons with her son about what he should do.

“Okay, Momma I need to get off here because I’ve been in my room for a while and the kids are going to need lunch and Jensen will be back in a little while, too. I love you, Momma.” Jared tells her.

“I love you to Jared. Just think about what is best for all of you.” Sherry hangs up.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

The evening and day before had gone very well. Now Jared was really nervous because Jensen was on his way home, but first was the detour to Loretta’s office for their first meeting. They had left from his apartment and where going to stop and drop the kids of with Granma before heading to the session. The kids where wound tight because they haven’t been back to Granma house since the move to Houston and really wanted to spend time with her like they used too. Jared just wanted this day to be over because he didn’t know how Loretta was going to start the counseling. He wished that his life could go back to the way it was two weeks ago and not have the added stress of thinking about moving and working things out with Jensen. I was rough but he had made due. Damn it he was scared. Scared that the counseling would end up in a screaming match like all the times they had tried to talk about this subject before and then forget that they had the fight like nothing was wrong the next day that everything was right as rain. He hopes that Loretta will be the one thing that keeps it from escalating into a fight. And it was all different now the kids were a living, breathing part of the equation now. They couldn’t be left on the way side like they didn’t exist. He had left to keep his baby safe. Now there were two babies and he didn’t want them caught in the cross fire. The kids would be the ones hurt now if this did not work out for the best. And that was another thing that was eating him up because if Jensen never wanted kids how could he be so good with them. What the hell were his issues with kids in the first place?

‘This is getting me nowhere fast.’ Jared tells himself. ‘I need to quit freaking out about shit I don’t have the answers to. Wait until we get there and then freak out.’

“Papa how much longer before we get there?” Bray asks from the backseat.

“Yeah, I bored.” Anna pipes up.

“We have about another 20 minutes.” Jared tells them.

The twins grumble between themselves because it’s taking too long to get to Granma’s.

“Just a little bit longer guys, then you can run Granma to insanity.” Jared smiles back at them through the rearview mirror.

“We not insanity, we twins.” Anna tells her papa.

“I know baby.” Jared tells her.

The twins sit in the back talking about what all they are doing when they get to Granma’s. Jared brings his attention back to the road. He watches Jensen’s car in front of him. Thinking about when they used to be in the same car. He remembers the few stilted trips they made to Jensen’s family home in Richardson and how tense Jensen always acted and how upset he was after those trips. Jensen’s family had always made it known that whatever he did was never good enough and being gay was not a good life choice in their eyes. Those visits stopped not long after they had gotten married. Even though there had never been an abundance of them to begin with. On to happier trips they had made with their friends and trips back to see his family in San Antonio. Jared knows the good times where more than the bad but could never get why Jensen couldn’t have wanted kids. But before he knew it they are arriving at his childhood home.

They all get out and enter the house. Sherry is waiting for them in the kitchen with coffee, milk and cookies for the kids.

“Hey everyone. How was the drive?” Sherry smiles at them all fondly.

“It was uneventful.” Jensen kisses her on the cheek.

“It was boring.” Bray complains.

“My buts hurts.” Anna says.

“That’s because you had to sit all the way here, honey.” Sherry tells her. “Come on let’s get you guys set up in the playroom while I talk to you daddy’s.” Sherry herds the twins out of the kitchen.

Jensen looks at Jared over his coffee cup. He can see that Jared is nervous. He can understand because he feels the same way. He really doesn’t know how this first session is going to go. He’s afraid that things will be said and that nothing good will come out of this meeting. But the only thing they can do is try.

Sherry comes back into the kitchen and says, “You two look like you’re going to your own funerals. It won’t be that bad. Loretta will treat you good.”

“That’s good.” Jensen says neutrally.

Jared gives a little snort. “Yeah that’s what I’m worried about. She’s going to treat us good and then turn us loose on each other.” Jared shakes his head.

“JT, you need to go into this with an open mind and think for the best.” Sherry pats him on the arm.

“I know Momma. It’s just… I don’t know.” Jared looks at her.

“It will be fine, Jared. I’ll be going through this with you. I’ve got things I need to get out in the air too.” Jensen tells him.

“Yeah. I know.” Jared replies.

“You two better get going. It’s after 1:30.” Sherry smiles at these two nervous, scared boys.

They both set their cups on the counter and walk back to the cars.

“Do you want to drive together?” Jensen asks him.

“If you want. Do you think we can come out of this and not want to kill each other on the drive back?” Jared asks.

“We can give it a try. What’s the worst that can happen? We ring each other’s necks at a stop light.” Jensen gives a deprecating laugh at his own statement.

“Yeah we should be good.” Jared replies sarcastically. “I’ll drive.”

They get into Jared’s truck and pull out of the driveway. “Do you mind if I turn this up some?” Jared asks Jensen.

“Whatever you want you’re drivin’.” Jensen tells him.

Jared turns the radio up and its Linkin Park’s “Breaking the Habit”. Leave it to Jared to be listening to music that can make you think about shit. Jensen huffs out a breath but doesn’t comment.

“What?” Jared sneaks a peak at him.

“Nothing just this isn’t what I’d think you would listen to going to a counseling meeting for the first time. That’s “Breaking the Habit” talk about a song that makes me want to run for the hills.” Jensen shakes his head.

“Well I like their songs. I’m using it as background noise. I’m not really paying attention to the words. I’m just listening to it.” Jared replies.

The next song that comes on is “What I’ve Done”. Jensen snickers at the song because he doesn’t have anything to do but listen to the music. This one says that he needs to basically forgive himself for what he’s done and start over again. Shit both of those songs could be interpreted in so many different ways. Stupid music. But it doesn’t matter at the moment because they are at Loretta’s office.

“Okay let’s go.” Jared turns to him as he opens his door. “Are you ready?”

“Not really, but it’s now or never and we can’t do that. Not now.” Jensen takes a deep breath and gets out of the truck.

“Yeah.” Is all Jared says.

They walk into the house silently. Loretta’s office is in her house and there is a small waiting room on the side of the entryway. The bell chimed when they had entered and Loretta walks into the room shortly after.

“Hi Jared and you must be Jensen.” She shakes their hands and waves for them to follow her.

She leads them into a small comfortable room that has chairs set in a small three-point circle. They are big comfortable chairs. As they sit down they sink into them. Loretta has a desk sitting off in the corner and file cabinets on the one wall.

“Do you need something to drink?” Loretta asks.

They both say they are fine for now.

“Well where do you want to start? The here and now or something a little more in the past?” Loretta asks.

Jared and Jensen look at each other. Jared raises his eyebrows and Jensen shrugs his shoulders.

“Well we gotta start somewhere. So how about when did you guys meet each other? Jared you want to start.” Loretta looks at him pointedly.

Jared swallows hard and looks at her with almost fear in his eyes. “Um… well.” He clears his throat. “We meet at a party on campus. Jensen’s friend Chris always had party’s on Friday nights and they were huge. Me and my friend Chad had heard about them from someone in the dorm and we crashed one of them. I had seen Chris and Jensen around campus so I knew who they were. Chris was kind of scary. He was loud and gruff. He didn’t take any ones shit. Jensen was quiet and he seemed shy. But was that an understatement. Once you got to know him he was kind, sweet, and once he trusted you open.

“It started out really slow. We would meet up for coffee, go out to eat and party at their house. Chris was still scary after that though. He told me that if I hurt Jensen, he’d find me. Jensen was gorgeous. I would get lost in his eyes. They are such a beautiful shade of green.” Jared stops and clears his throat, his cheeks are shaded pink and he’s looking at his hands in his lap. “We started to date after a while, after that first semester then I moved into their house after that second semester and Chad got an apartment. He was with Sophia at the time. He was always breakin’ up with her and coming to crashing on the couch. He got on Chris and Jensen’s nerves so bad. They couldn’t understand how I could stand him.” Jared laughs a little.

“That first year was interesting in the beginning. Jensen never went home for the holidays and Chris would stay with him, but I always went home. I couldn’t get him to go with me though. He kept saying he didn’t want to intrude on my family. It took me some time to get him to come with me. He would talk to my Momma on the phone and all but would refuse to actually meeting them. Chris finally got fed up with him and made him come home with me. He had Steve at that time and they had things they wanted to do on their own. Jensen was nervous that first Thanksgiving and by the time we pulled up to my parents he had all his nails bitten off and almost had his thumb a bloody mess. I told him he would be fine. That my parents knew I was gay before I hit High school and had come to terms about what it meant. They had taken me to the doctors in my junior year and had that’s when we found out I was a carrier. My stomach had been cramping really bad. It was a side effect of being a carrier. Everything was changing in there to make sure there would be room for when and if I ever became pregnant.

“My Momma loved Jensen. Megan thought he was the best looking guy I had ever dated. Not that there had been a bunch. And I think she was a little jealous of me. I always caught her staring at him. Jeff was a little stilted at first because Jensen was my first real of age boyfriend and wanted to know if I was being treated right. I made sure he knew that we didn’t have any problems and that I might love Jensen. Jeff smacked me in the back of the head because I should already know that after being with Jensen for over a year.

“We had just graduated when Jensen had proposed. I was overwhelmed and overjoyed at that. We got married on our two year anniversary. We loved each other so much and it was a beautiful wedding. The honeymoon was amazing. When we got home we started looking for a house. That’s when I started talking about kids more and Jensen always told me that we would see. He had went to see his family when we had been married for a while and after that point it became a serious fight every time I said something about kids. It was like some kind of switch had been flipped and he just was no longer even willing to even have the word children in the same room as him. I know that his mom was really bad about the relationship between him and me but I don’t know what she said or did to him he never talked to me about them. He always ran to Chris when he had things wrong with that part of his life. It’s like he never trusted me with that part of him.”

“You have no idea, Jay.” Jensen says to him when he pauses.

“We will get to you.” Loretta looks at Jensen and he shuts his mouth with an audible snap. “Go on Jared.”

“Other than the fighting over having kids, we got along great. That is the only time we would fight, fight. We would have stupid little spats over simple stuff. After that last fight I…Can I go get some air real quick?”

“Sure honey, but you’re not getting out of this. I’ll give you five minutes.” Loretta tells him. “Are you going to need something to drink?”

“Some water please. I’ll be right back.” Jared gets up and hustles out of the room.

“I’ll be right back. Would you like something to drink?” Loretta asks Jensen.

“I guess a stiff drink would be out of the question right?” Jensen looks at Loretta. She scowls at him. “Water would be fine.” Jensen turns his eyes away from her.

Loretta walks out of her office and looks out the door at Jared he is swatting down holding his head in his hands. She walks over and opens the door, “Jared.”

“I’m fine. This is just going to be the hard part, needed to psych myself up for it first.” Jared turns his head to look up at her. “I’ll be back in in a minute or two.”

“Alright take your time. You are the only two I have for this afternoon and he ain’t going back to work tonight. So I’m here as long as you two can keep talkin’.” Loretta gives Jared a small smile.

Loretta goes back inside and grabs two bottles of water and makes herself a cup of tea. Because she knows what’s coming next. Jared is going to tell Jensen about being pregnant before they left each other and then she is going to try and get Jensen to tell Jared about what his mother had put him through. Because she knows it was nasty, but she has to get it out in the open. She needs to break them before she can try and put them back together. When she walks back into the office she can feel the tension in the room, Jensen is staring at Jared with hurt in his eyes and Jared is looking at his hands again. She gives them their waters and sits back down. “Are we ready to start again?”

“Yeah I guess.” Jared swallows some of his water and forges on. “When we had that last fight and Jensen walked out… I just couldn’t do it anymore. Jensen had walked away and I couldn’t tell him that I was already pregnant because he would hate me. I had stopped taking my birth control two months before and was trying to get pregnant hoping that if I was already pregnant Jensen couldn’t not want it. I was desperate. And that last fight made me realize that the result would never change even though I was already pregnant. I would lose him and I couldn’t live with him leaving me so I left him before he could leave me.”

“Jared, what the fuck? You were going to lie to me. You thought that if you were pregnant that I wouldn’t want you. Are you fucking stupid? I fucking love you. The only thing you had to do was tell me.” Jensen jumps out of his chair and starts pacing. “You act like this was a decision you had to make all on your own. That it had nothing to do with me.” Jensen’s rant is interrupted by Loretta.

“Jensen could you please sit down and let Jared finish, please.” Loretta asks him.

Jensen huffs, flopping back down in the chair, his anger rolling off of him in waves.

“Go ahead Jared.” Loretta looks back over at his bowed head.

“When Jensen walked out I felt like he was giving up on me and that he was done with us. I thought he was going out to get drunk. It was his normal release. He would of came home later that night so drunk and pass out on the couch and the next morning act like it never happened again. I couldn’t go through that again. So once I got myself under control I decided I had to leave for my baby. But I fucked that up too. I tried to cover up that I knew I was already pregnant and Megan busted me. I was already about a month pregnant when we had that last fight. I knew I was and was trying to cover it up. I was going to let you know I was sick and then get you to go to the doctor with me and the doctor would let us know that I was. So you would have to except it. I was wrong and I know that now. Hell I realized that when I found out I was pregnant with twins, but it was too late by then. My dad said I made my bed and I had to lay in it or make it right. So I laid in it and didn’t do anything. I’m so sorry Jensen. I was wrong.” Jared sobs, burying his face in his hands.

Loretta lays a box of tissue on his lap and pats his shoulder. “Jensen I know you want to respond to what Jared has said but I want to hear why you were so against having kids.” Loretta draws her attention to Jensen.

“Where do you want me to start? Birth. I am the middle child of a rich, snobby bitch and I was never good enough for her. And she turned every single one of them against me. Nobody has ever stood up for me except Chris. I was never good at anything in her eyes. When I came out to her that I was gay. That was the straw. She had everyone looking at me like I was no better than a pile of shit they had stepped in in their expensive shoes. I got pneumonia my senior year of high school, she told them I had it because I was gay and had got the AIDS from my infected boyfriend. I had never fucked anyone, yet. The doctors made her stop and they brought in the whole family and made it clear that I didn’t have AIDS. It didn’t matter she had already taken everything away from me anyhow so what was the difference. When I graduated I moved in with Chris because I could. I had my trust fund from Grandpa and she couldn’t touch it. So no matter what she tried to do she couldn’t do anything about that. Chris and I left for college and we rented the house. Unbelievably my Dad kept in touch with me up until a year ago when he had his stroke. Every once in a while one of the nurse’s will let me sneak into hang out with him for a visit. Nobody ever goes to see him so it’s just me and him. My mother is such a bitch.

“When I took Jared to meet her for the first time she treated us both like we were common trash. I hated to go there. But Jared is so big on family. He said that we should work on her together and I couldn’t take it. That time that I went to talk to her one last time and never went back. She said some really awful things about how if we ever had kids that they would have problems and they would never be right because they were butt babies. Or that Jared wouldn’t make it through a pregnancy or that he would leave me after he realized that having a kid with me was a mistake. And any way that it happened I would be left to take care of a child by myself either because Jared died or left me.

“Every time Jared talked about having kids that’s all I thought about. All I could ever think about. I only ever told Chris. He has helped me so much. I would be dead by now if it wasn’t for him. He has pulled me out of the deep end more than once. I’ve been suicidal for years but Chris has always looked out for me. Kept me from doing it. I don’t even know why he still hangs around. Maybe he thinks it his fault because he could never stop it from happening. He always tried to tell me that it was never my fault what she did to me. I was never her kid I was more like her throw rug. Josh and Mackenzie never got treated like I did. I could never figure out what I did to her. I don’t know why she hates me so much. Daddy said it was because I was such a beautiful child and I drew a lot of attention away from her and she was jealous of me, her own son. I hate her.” Jensen stops and sniffles. His tears are streaking down his face as he quietly cries.

“Okay. I think I’m going to have my hands full with you two. But I can make it work somehow. I think for today we are done and I want to see both of you again next week. How does same day and time sound to you?” Loretta says no more but looks intently at both of them.

They both stare at her dumbfounded because she has just ripped them both open and she going to leave them like that. How can she just stop now?

“Okay then I will see you both next Thursday at two. Come on now I ain’t got all afternoon to babysit you two. Go home get some rest and think about what each of you learn today. Write out a list of questions you might have for each other. Just don’t dwell on it while you’re in each other’s company. Think personally about how your own actions affected other people and yourself personally. Okay boys see you next Thursday.” Loretta stands up and gets them both moving. She walks them out into the waiting room and watches them get into Jared truck.

“Oh, Momma, Momma, help me get these boys back where they need to be. If I wasn’t better at this I might think they both are buckets of crazy, but they are just lost.” Loretta watches them pull out of her driveway and head back to Jared’s mom’s house. She had talked to Sherry earlier and knew they still loved each other and need guidance to get back to each other.

Jared was driving towards his mom’s house kind of stuck in the moment, “What the hell was that? That didn’t help any that just hurt.”

“Don’t ask me I don’t know. That woman isn’t right she just made us fillet ourselves and turned us out on our asses.” Jensen says dumbstruck as to what to think or say.

“Well I told you she was evil. Know you have seen it firsthand. It’s kind of like when you see an accident and you know you shouldn’t stop and stare but you can’t help but stop and see what happened. Yeah that’s how I feel right now.” Jared nods his head as agreeing with himself.

“I know how you feel.” Jensen replies.

After that they sit in mutual quiet until they get back to the house.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 30 contains chap 30 A and 30 B. Chap 30 B has thoughts of suicide at the end.

Chapter 30 A

“So how was it boys?” Sherry says as they walk in the kitchen door.

They both look at Sherry as if they had just had one of the worst experiences in their lives. Jared speaks up first.

“Well she was her normal self and flayed us both open then cut us lose. Then told us to think about what happened today and then not think about it when we are in each other’s company. Yeah so pretty much…We got nowhere except for each of us to be left with open wounds for us to lick.” Jared shakes his head with a grim expression.

“Yeah I feel pretty shitty right now. Oh yeah and we are supposed to make lists about shit we want to ask each other and how our actions have effected everyone else. So yeah as if a lot of this shit hasn’t weighted us down forever.” Jensen stares down at his hand on the counter.

“Oh come on boy’s think of it as healing. Getting it all out into the open will help clear the waters and make it easier for you to be on the same page.” Sherry tells them.

“Papa, Daddy.” The twins scream as they run into the kitchen. Anna runs to Jared while Bray runs to Jensen. They bend over and pick up both of the kids.

“Have you two had fun while we went and talked to Loretta?” Jensen asks Bray.

“Yes we got to play with all of our old toys that we haven’t seen since we had to move away.” Bray nods his head, bangs falling into his eyes. Jensen sweeps them away.

“Granma say that she made sure everything was left here for us.” Anna says happily.

Jared kisses her on the temple thinking about moving back to his old home and how the kids would be able to spend more time with their Granma and Granpa. He wishes that Ken would get back to him with news of an opening in Austin. If they have an offer he is really thinking about taking it. His phone is ringing in his pocket and thinking of that person and that’s who it is. He sets Anna down and puts up his finger as in a minute and walks out side.

“Hey Ken any news?” Jared asks.

“Well they have a position open like the one you had in San Antonio or they have nightshift as front end manager with a two dollar shift deferential because the hours are odd. It goes from eight PM to six AM.” Ken tells him.

“Shit I would have to have someone stay with kids at night.” Jared huffs out a breath.

“Yeah but it’s a two dollars more an hour job. And if you’re moving back to Austin why couldn’t the hubby stay with the kids. They go to bed early still.” Ken tells him.

“Let me think about it and I will let you know.” Jared tells him. “Two days.”

“You are coming into work tomorrow right.” Ken asks.

“Yeah. We are all better now and Jensen is going home so everything is going back to normal.” Jared tells him. “I’ll talk to you later, Ken. Thank you for checking for me.”

“You are welcome Jared. I’ll see you, then.” Ken hangs up.

Jared stands there a minute looking at his phone wondering how this was going to work out in the long run.

“Who was on the phone, honey?” Sherry asks when he comes back inside.

“It was Ken. They have two positions in Austin. Where are the kids and Jensen?” He asks before continuing.

“In the playroom.” Sherry raises an eyebrow.

“Well one is the same position I had before I went to Houston and the other is the night shift front end manager, hours of 8PM to 6AM and a two dollar deferential. But then I’d need someone to watch the kids while I’m at work. I don’t know if Jensen would be willing to watch them for me?” Jared says.

“Willing to do what?” Jensen says as he comes in on the tail end of the conversation.

“The jobs they have in Austin are worse than the one I have now.” Jared looks at him.

“How much worse?” Jensen asks.

“Well one is the same as when I left to go to Houston and the other is night shift but from 8PM to 6AM with a two dollar deferential; which I would need a babysitter on night’s I work. And I wasn’t sure you would be willing to sit with the kids.” Jared says sheepishly.

“I don’t see why not. We get along well enough.” Jensen smiles at him.

“It would be like five to seven nights a week and some holidays. It’s a lot to ask of one person.” Jared looks down at the floor.

“They go to bed about that time and I work and they can get into a preschool in Austin so you can sleep during the day and then spend the night with them before work. I’m willing to give it a try if you are.” Jensen tells him earnestly.

“Let me pass it by them and see what they say. It’s just as much their decision as it is mine. They need to know what’s happening too.” Jared looks back up at Jensen.

“It would be like shared custody except no one has to go anywhere. And Vicky is a teacher at the preschool by my work. You do remember Misha’s wife right?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah, is he still as weird as he used to be?” Jared asks with a smile.

“It’s Misha.” Jensen answers him.

“I’m going to go talk to them.” Jared stands up to go talk to Anna and Bray.

“I think it will do you two good to be in the same house again.” Sherry says after Jared leaves.

“It will be nice to have them this close.” Jensen smiles at her.

Jared walks into the playroom looking at the twins playing with their toys. It feels good to see them back in this room at his parent’s house. “Hey you two could you come here I need to talk to you about something.” Jared motions the kids to come over and sit with him in the recliner in the corner.

“What wrong Papa?” Anna asks him.

“Nothing is wrong, baby but I do need to ask you some questions and I want you to think about them really hard because it would be a big change for all of us. How would the both of you like to go live in Austin with Daddy Jensen and stay in the house we had together?” Jared asks the first question.

Anna and Bray look at each other for a minute and Bray answers, “We like the idea of living with Daddy Jensen.”

“Okay then, I will need to change jobs again if we move and Daddy Jensen would be watching you while I worked and during the day you would go to preschool with an old friend of mine from when I used to live in Austin. How would you feel about that?” Jared asks them.

Once again the twins look at each other and this time Anna answers, “We think that Daddy Jensen would be awesome to live with and as long as your friend is nice we be okay with preschool.”

“Okay now the next part isn’t so much a question but a bit of information. The new job is during the night. So that is the reason Daddy Jensen would have to watch you and then the preschool would be so that I would be able to get some sleep while you are at school and then I would pick you up and spend the afternoon and the night before I go to work with you guys. I can even put you in bed before I go to work.” Jared pulls them in for a hug.

“Would it be every day?” Bray asks.

“No not every day I get at least two days off a week and then maybe some nights I will get to start later, but then there might be nights that I have to work more. It will be like my job now but at night.” Jared tells them.

“We would still get to see you right?” Anna looks into her Papa eyes needing to be reassures that he would still be there.

“Yes, I would still be around for you.” Jared kisses her on the forehead and then does the same to Bray.

“I think it would be good to live with Daddy and you together. Maybe we could all be family and maybe we could get an animal. A dog.” Bray looks up at his Papa.

“What made you want a dog?” Jared smiles down at Bray.

“He was playing with Granma’s neighboard dog and Granma told him to ask you.” Anna tells him.

“Oh so Granma put you up to this. You know that I had a dog when I was little and I loved him very much. He was a German Shepard. His name was Jack. But he died when I was 12. I missed him very much and didn’t want another dog, but we will see how things go when we move, okay.” Jared ruffles Bray’s hair.

“If he can have a dog can I have some fish?” Anna looks up at Jared.

“Oh what has my mother started?” Jared says. “I said let’s see how things go when we move and go from there. There is no definite animals yet. Come on let’s go out and see Granma so I can tell her to stop filling you guys full of pleading for pets.” Jared sets both of the kids down on their feet and gets up, walking into the kitchen.

“Mother, why are you telling my children to ask for pets? I don’t have the time for pets or the money for them.” Jared looks at his mom.

“Jared it was just a suggestion. They need to have the experience of having a childhood pet. I think it would do all of you good.” Sherry tells him.

“Mom I’m going to be moving again and it hasn’t even been six months yet. I can’t add animals into the mix when I have to start all over again.” Jared says exasperated.

“Jared I’m not meaning go get an animal right now. I’m talking about when you all get settled into a routine and are doing well.” Sherry tells her son.

“Couldn’t we of talked about this first before you told the kids first?” Jared asks her.

“I guess I could of went about it differently?” Sherry looks back at him. “I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. I just can’t do this right now and they are going to be disappointed about not getting them now.” Jared looks down at the twins. “Okay you two listen up, right now we cannot afford to have animals and we will see how things go when we move and get settled and Daddy Jensen has to agree.” Jared looks over at Jensen.

“We will have to see how everything goes.” Jensen smiles at the three.

The twins both agree that they can wait until everyone gets settled into the new house and a routine. Jensen and Jared eat supper with Jared’s parents and the twins. Jensen says his goodbyes to everyone and leaves to head back home. Jared then loads the kids up and heads back home too. It’s late when they get home; Anna and Bray have been asleep since about halfway home. Jared had to carry both of them upstairs and then has to run back to the truck to get everything else. On the way back in he runs into Marty, the sleazy guy, who lives in 2B. He has always had trouble with him and tries to avoid him at all costs.

“Hey, Jared I haven’t seen as much of you lately what have you been up to?” Marty walks up to Jared and starts to follow him.

“Marty how many times do I have to tell you I am not interested. I have two kids with my husband. And if you must know we have just reconnected and we are talking again.” Jared stops and looks at Marty and rolls his eyes.

“Come on Jared you have lived here for six months and the only people I ever see you with are your brats. I know you have to need something from someone. I could give you what you need.” Marty steps into Jared personal space.

“You know what Marty I would rather let my dick shrivel up and fall off before I would even let you close enough to see it. And for your information my kids are not brats, they probably are smarter than you on your best days and they aren’t even five yet.” Jared walks away from Marty.

“Yeah you know what Jared I can get better ass from the corner. You probably couldn’t get anybody off if you tried.” Marty yells back at him.

“Yeah Marty that’s why you have been sniffing around since I moved in, huh.” Jared turns back to look at Marty before he heads back upstairs.

That would be one person he will not miss when he moves out and goes back to Austin. He has been dodging Marty since he moved into the apartment complex. The first day he moved in Marty was practically drooling all over him and then wanted to know if he wanted to hang out after he had the kids taken care of. Like he wanted to hang out with a douche who thought he would let him into his apartment when he just moved in and with his kids asleep in the next room. Jackass. He walks into the apartment and looks at everything that is contained within the walls and ‘damn it, didn’t I just unpack all this shit not too long ago’ runs on a loop through his mind.

With a huff of breath he goes to get ready for bed. He had to work in the morning and the kids had to go to daycare so he needed to be ready for that fight because he knows that it will be there. It doesn’t take long for his alarm to wake him up after falling asleep.

When he woke Bray and Anna up they were not too pleased to find out that they had to go back to daycare. They had gotten used to Jared and Jensen being there to take care of them and he had trouble getting them motivated. Jensen called as they were on the way out the door and talked to the kids while Jared drove. By the time they made it and got in the building both of them were in better moods.

“You two seem to be in a better mood since you talked to Daddy Jensen.” Jared says.

“He say he will come see us this weekend and help to pack up ours stuff.” Anna tells Jared with a bright smile.

“He said we can all go out an eat too.” Bray smiles up at his Papa.

“Oh he did. Well I guess we will see how the rest of the week goes and how much I get packed before he get down here, huh.” Jared pats the kids on the back.

“Hey Jared. Hi Bray, Anna. I hope you are all feeling better.” Robin greets the three as they walk into the classroom.

“Yes, we are all better. And we will probably be moving to Austin in a couple of weeks.” Jared smiles at her.

“Well what brings that about?” Robin asks.

“Well my husband was down and kind of found out I had these two and we are going to try and get things straightened out between us.” Jared looks at her sheepishly.

“I didn’t know you were even married.” Robin looks at the twins and tells them, “Anna and Bray, why don’t you go over and take your seats and wait for everybody else to show up, while I talk to your Papa.” Robin smiles and motions for the twins to enter into the room farther. “Jared I didn’t even know you had a husband.”

“Yeah we had some rough times and I left him but we never divorced. And when you called last week about Anna he was standing there when I got the message. Needless to say he was quite surprised to find out I left while pregnant and never said anything. And Momma is trying to get us to work every issue we have worked out.” Jared heaves a sigh.

“Damn, I bet that was something to have dumped on his plate.” Robin shakes her head.

“Not only that but he caught Anna’s flu then ended up with pneumonia on top of that.” Jared looks up at Robin. “I need to get to work, so if anything happens you know how to get ahold of me.”

“Yes I do. I will see you this evening when you pick them up. Later, Jared.” Robin waves at him as she walks away.

“Bye Robin.” Jared says as he leaves.

Ken is waiting for Jared when he gets to work.

“Ken how are you this morning?” Jared asks.

“Just fine. I was wondering if you decided what you are going to do. I need to figure out if I’m going outside to replace you or inside.” Ken informs him.

“Yeah. I am going to go back to Austin and take that night shift job. I need the money and don’t really want to live off of Jensen and the two bucks will make it easier to pay my way.” Jared nods his head.

“Okay I will let them know you are up for the transfer and when will you be ready?” Ken asks.

“I would say I would be ready to start sometime next week, probably. I have to get the apartment packed back up and Jensen needs to get the house opened up. And he needs to move back in too.” Jared smiles at Ken.

“So you guys are going to be staying together.” Ken gives Jared a sly smile.

“Not that way no. I need someone to watch the kids when I am at work.” Jared frowns.

“Okay I get that at least it will be a parent instead of some stranger.” Ken a head at Jared. “I am going to go get the transfer paperwork started for you and see if it is going to be filled from within when you leave. I’ll talk to you later Jared.” Ken waves goodbye to him as he retreats.

Jared thought to himself how things had changed so much over the last week and didn’t know how anything in the future was going to turn out but the only thing he did know was that he at least had Anna and Bray to hold on to if things took a turn for the worst.

Chapter 30 B

Extra warning for this section: Thoughts of suicide.

 

Jensen had been at work for over an hour when he decided to call Jared and see how things were going on the first day back on his regular schedule. When Jared answered he sounded flustered and the twins were being uncooperative. Jensen talked to them and offered to come to Houston for a visit and help pack and take them out to eat. They seemed to really like the idea of him coming to see them. He had to make sure Jeff knew he wasn’t going to be in town for the weekend and he also needed to let him know Jared and the twins are coming to live in Austin.

Jeff tells him to come in after he knocks. “Jeff.”

“Jensen, glad to see you doing better. How are things going with you and your husband?” Jeff asks him.

“Yeah, I felt like shit for a while. But I got to spend time with Jared and the twins. They seem to really like me. Jared and I are seeing a, I guess she’s a therapist. Also Jared and the kids are moving up here to Austin. We are going to stay in the house together.” Jensen looks at Jeff earnestly.

“Jensen do you think it is wise to move back in together so soon after meeting again. He left you.” Jeff is concerned that Jensen is setting himself up to be hurt again.  
“He is taking a shift in the hotel, but it is a night shift with weird hours. Like 8 PM to 6 AM. He needs someone to be with Anna and Bray.” Jensen tells his boss.

“I just think it’s too soon to be living with each other again. You two have a lot of baggage you need to sort through.” Jeff frowns at Jensen.

“Now you sound like Sherry. I don’t think that it would be much different than having shared custody. He has them during the day and I have them at night. The only time we would be together are on the days he has off and therapy appointments. It’s no different than if we had been together this whole time.” Jensen defends the decision to live with them.

“I’m just saying don’t get too attached to the arrangement. Things could go south fast.” Jeff reinforces his thoughts.

“Jeff, I know what I’m doing.” Jensen reassures Jeff.

“All right I’ll sit back and let you do your thing.” Jeff tells him.

“I also wanted to let you know I won’t be in town this weekend. I am going to Houston to help them pack up stuff and spend time with the twins.” Jensen informs his boss.

“Jensen you know that you don’t have to tell me when or where you’re going. You have worked here forever and you are your own person. You don’t answer to me except when its work related. Your life is your life. I just worry about you is all.” Jeff tells him.

“Thank you, Jeff. I am going back to work. I’ll talk to you later.” Jensen stands to leave, but Jeff stops him before he gets to the door.

“Jensen. I want you to use your head with this okay. And realize that Chris isn’t the only person you have to talk too.” Jeff smiles at him.

“I know Jeff. Later.” Jensen smiles back at him.

Jensen is tired by the time he leaves work. Actually he’s not tired he’s just bored. He got used to playing with the twins and helping Jared with them. He wished that they were already living with him. He decides not to dwell on it for now and calls to see if Chris and Steve are free to help him open up the old house and get things ready for everyone to move back into it.

“Hey Jensen are you doing okay?” Chris asks him when he picks up.

“Yes I am great. Well not great because I wish they were here right now.” Jensen tells him. “Are you and Steve doing anything right now?”

“Not really why?” Chris asks.

“Well I was wondering if the two of you would be willing to help me get the house ready for Jared and the kids.” Jensen asks.

“What do you mean get the house ready for Jared and the kids? I thought you sold the house.” Chris voice raises some.

“No I told everyone I sold the house. I couldn’t get rid of it.” Jensen tells him.

“You mean you kept that house this whole time and lived in that apartment.” Chris interrogates him.

“Yes, Chris I had the house and lived in the apartment. I held on to it thinking that maybe Jared would come back and we would need it, okay. And now we need it.” Jensen says matter-of-factly.

“Damn, son. So what’s going on that you need to get it ready now?” Chris asks.

“Well Jared and the kids are moving closer so we will be able to go to the counselor and he won’t have to drag the kids to his mom’s and then drive them home. She is based in San Antonio and it’s a farther drive from Houston. It’s hard on the kids to sit for the ride.” Jensen tells him.

“Being all Daddy aren’t you. How does it feel to be a father? You seem to be doing okay with the whole thing.” Chris comments.

“Yeah. I think I’m going to do okay. They are really good kids. Jared has done well with them even though he had to do it by himself.” Jensen says proudly.

“But he did that shit all to himself. He left and made that choice for you.” Chris gets defensive.

“Chris come on man, just let the past stay there. We are working on those issues and we will work it out. That’s why I need to open the house up and get it ready.” Jensen pleads.

“All right we will meet you there in about an hour. You going to have the stuff we need?” Chris asks.

“Yes the service cleans it once a month and the supplies are stocked. I just want to go and make sure the place is clean. I also want to get the appliances turned on to make sure they still work. I want to get everything ready. I want the house to perfect for the kids.” Jensen sounds wistful to Chris.

“Damn, son you have it bad don’t you.” Chris laughs at him.

“Shut up Chris. I think we are going to be okay and the kids are mine.” Jensen tells him.

“Okay, okay. I give for now.” Chris tells him. “So do you want me to bring the beer?”

 

“Yeah we can order food when you get there.” Jensen tells him. “But only bring enough for tonight because I don’t want it sitting around the house.”

“You responsible person you.” Chris mocks him.

“Chris.” Jensen reprimands.

“I know shut up.” Chris says before he can. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“See you then.” Jensen hangs up.

Jensen runs to his apartment to change out of his suit and get some disposal eatery. When he gets to the house he stands in the entryway for a while. He remembers when he left and decided not to sell it but to pay it off and hold on to it just in case. He never thought that Jared would come back into his life. Especially with two kids. But he had. Now they are going to be living in a house together with the children that Jensen said he never wanted but would not think of giving them up now that he knew they existed. If only he wouldn’t have let all the bullshit his mother had said get under his skin and destroy the only good thing in his life and driving it away. He really hopes that he and Jared can get past all the things that drove that wedge into their lives. He is startled out of his thoughts by Chris and Steve coming into the house.

“Shit.” Jensen says as they come in.

“How long have you been standing here?” Steve slaps him on the back.

“I don’t know I was lost in my head.” Jensen smiles at him.

“Are you sure you are going to be able to live here?” Chris asks him.

“Yeah just remembering and thinking of the future.” Jensen replies.

“Okay, let’s get this started. What are we eating?” Chris asks.

“I don’t really care as long as it’s hot.” Jensen tells him.

“Pizza and wings then it goes with the beer.” Chris smiles widely.

“Might of known that would be your choice.” Steve says from behind Chris.

Chris turns around and glares at Steve. “Are you trying to say I’m predictable?”

“No just saying I know you.” Steve smiles broadly at Chris.

“Hey let’s get started. You order the pizza and I’ll check the kitchen. I need to make sure every appliance here still works. The house has been shut up forever.” Jensen says.

Chris looks at Jensen and then turns to Steve. “Do you believe this? He’s like being all bossy like we are his servants or something. When did we become your servants?” Chris turns back and asks Jensen.

“You’re not my servants. Your my friends and you really want to help me get my house up and running for when my kids come here to live. And you want to be able to meet them so you can be good uncles and spoil them.” Jensen smirks at Chris’ pout.

“Okay I guess you got me. I do want to meet your kids.” Chris smiles at Jensen.

“Okay then order pizza and wings and get to making sure everything works and make sure things aren’t dirty.” Jensen walks away from Chris and Steve.

“Damn he all up in this cleaning and making sure shit is in the right place.” Steve huffs.

“Yeah he’s being all Alpha Daddy.” Chris laughs.

“I heard that do something I didn’t ask you to come over and stand around.” Jensen shouts from the kitchen.

“Alright, alright. We are going, hold your panties on.” Chris hollers back at him.

It takes about 45 minutes for the pizza to show up and they are sitting in the kitchen, drinking beer and eating. The fridge needs a new light bulb and the oven needs cleaned because it stinks. The upstairs bathroom sink is clogged but he doesn’t understand how that happened and the shower sprays water all over the place. He guesses that leaving everything just sitting here wasn’t such a great idea. Maybe he should of came by every once and a while and used the place. They still need to try out the washer and dryer and make sure they work. Jensen thinks that maybe it will be okay. But he’s not totally sure because hey this is all new to him and forbid that he gets everything right. He knows that something will go wrong. No matter how hard he will try to make everything work something will go wrong.

“Jensen. Jennn-sen. JENNY!” Chris tries to get his attention.

“What?” Jensen snaps out of it and stares at Chris and Steve.

“Dude you spaced out with a wing half way to your mouth.” Steve laughs at him.

Jensen looks down at his hand and sure enough halfway between his plate and his mouth his hand hovers. He blinks and looks back over at Chris and Steve. “Sorry I just got to thinking. How even though I am here trying to make sure everything is okay here; something is going to happen and things are going to go south.” Jensen says with a deprecating laugh.

“Jen you can’t think about it like that. You need to think positive and it will turn out right.” Chris gets up and walks over and grabs Jensen by the back of the neck squeezing him tight.

“I’m just really scared that it’s not going to work and he’s going to leave again and take them away. I didn’t want them until I had them and now I can’t lose them.” Jensen turns to Chris and looks at him with tears in his eyes.

“You can’t think like that Jen. Think of it like this you ran into him for a reason and it was a reason that was meant to be.” Chris standing there looking at Jensen wishing he knew what else to tell him but he isn’t a kid anymore and needs to stand up and take things as they land at his feet. Chris won’t leave him stranded but he won’t tell him what to do.

Jensen looks up and sees that Steve had left the room and the tears run down his face. “I’m scared.”

Chris bends down to be on Jensen level. “Son have we not made it through all this shit with your mom and then when Jared left you? We did maybe not to the point where you were totally okay but you aren’t dead and you get another chance to have Jared and with two extra bonuses.” Chris rests his forehead against Jensen’s.

Jensen sniffles and clears his throat. “Do you think that it will be okay?”

Chris looks into Jensen’s eyes and pulls in a deep breathe, “I don’t know but the only thing you can do is try.”

“Yeah your right the only thing I can do is try.” Jensen wipes his hand over his face and says, “I am okay now. Tell Steve he can come back in now and that I’m sorry if I made him uncomfortable.”

“He understands.” Chris stands up and smiles at Jensen. “He gets us even if he doesn’t understand us.”

“Yeah, okay.” Jensen smiles sadly at Chris.

“It’s going to be all right.” Chris smiles at him and walks out to find Steve.

Jensen lays his head down on the table and shudders at the thought of being such a pussy. He has everything sitting right in front of him and he so worried about it all slipping out his hands again. Fuck what if he gets them here and Jared can’t stand to be in the same house with him and leaves again. What if Jared just runs one day while he is at work and he can’t find Jared anywhere? Loses him and the kids. He wouldn’t be able to pull out of it this time. He would have to do it quick before Chris catches him. Before anyone notices that he was even missing.


	31. Chapter 31

                                                                                        Chapter 31

 

It was Thursday and Jared had just gotten to his mom’s house from San Antonio. He had to be at Loretta’s office in twenty minutes for their appointment. The twins had been complaining on the whole drive over, they had a bad week at daycare and had been at each other’s throats at home. Jared was ready for a little break away from them both. He kissed them both on the head, hugged his momma and was out the door. When he pulled up in front of Loretta’s Jensen was sitting there in his car. Jared felt heat rise up in his stomach and really wanted it to go away. He didn’t need to add that to the problems he was having and knew he would be feeling raw when they got out of the visit.

Jensen got out of his car and walked over to Jared. “Hey Jared. How have you been?” He asked.

Jared takes a deep breath before he answers, “The kids are like bat-shit crazy. They have gotten in trouble every day this week and can’t even get along at home, so my week had been crazy.”

“I’m sorry. Does it make it worse when I call and talk to them in the morning?” Jensen asks taken back.

“No they actually seem better after talking to you. I think it is just the anticipation of the move and everything changing again.” Jared shakes his head.

“Okay, I don’t want to make it harder on you.” Jensen smiles at him.

“Mom has the weekend off; she is going to keep the kids while we move all our stuff up to the house, so they don’t have to keep going back and forth.” Jared looks at Jensen with raised eyebrows.

“I think I’ll just rent a U-Haul to make it easier. Just pack it in and make one trip. Chris is coming to help us load it. I hope that is okay with you?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah that’s fine. I just want to get it done so I can get those two back into a normal routine. They never act like this and it’s driving me nuts. My kids never show themselves, ever and they need to be back to normal.” Jared stares at Jensen.

“I’ll help. I swear. It’s a big change for them. Jared I want to be a part of their lives and yours.” Jensen stares back at Jared close to tears.

“Okay. I understand that. I am just tired.” Jared tells him looking at the door to Loretta’s.

“Okay, let’s get this over with.” Jensen says after a few deep breathes.

Jensen walks to the door and holds it open for Jared. He looks up as Jared walks through the door and draws in another deep breath before following him through.

“Hello, boys how have you been?” Loretta asks as she walks in, ushering them into her office. “So how has the last week been?”

Jared and Jensen look at each other and Jensen motions for Jared to go ahead and answer her.

“Well the twins have been a handful with all the changes that are happening and it’s been stressful, but hopefully it will lessen with the move to Austin.” Jared says.

“Oh so you decided to go ahead and move?” Loretta looks at them both.

“Yeah it will be less stressful than the weekly rides from San Antonio. The job in Austin pays two dollars more an hour than what I am getting paid now. And Jensen will be able to connect with the twins on a daily basis.” Jared says matter – of – factly.

“Okay and how are you two feeling about this?” Loretta asks them.

Jared looks over at Jensen. “Well I’m hopeful.” He says after hesitating for a few seconds. “I want everything to work out for the best. I want to have the kids get to know their other dad and to feel safe around the both of us.” Jared looks over at Jensen.

“I’m scared.” Jensen looks up from his lap at both Jared and Loretta.

“Why are you scared Jensen?” Loretta asks him.

“I’m scared because I don’t know of Jared will stay. I’m afraid that he won’t want to be around me and leave again. But this time he would be taking the kids with him and I don’t know if I will be able to take it. I might not have ever wanted kids, but now that I know I have them I don’t want to lose them. If he takes off again” Jensen stops to rubs his hand across his eyes. “I don’t know what will happen to me. I don’t want to lose any of them.” Jensen stops and blows out a breath.

“Well you two are here to try and get past all the problems you have. To discuss the problems you have and get past them.” Loretta gives Jensen a sweet smile. “Did either of you by chance make your lists to discuss what came out last week?”

Jensen digs in his coat pocket and brings out a folded piece of paper, while Jared pulls out paper from his back pocket.

“It’s good to see you both did you homework.” Loretta nods her head. “Jensen why don’t you start first.”

“Okay. Well. Um. How could you of just left and never tell me that you were pregnant? How did you live with that?” Jensen says with hurt in his voice.

“Jensen. You were so adamant about never having kids how could I have told you that I was already pregnant and you not go off the deep end. I did what I thought would be best for the baby and myself. If you told me I had to get rid of it I would have been devastated. I was a month pregnant when I found out. I was already attached to it. It would have killed me.” Jared tells him.

“Do you really think I would have made you get rid of our baby if I had of known, Jared?” Jensen looks at him horror struck.

“I don’t know, Jensen we were in a bad place at that time. If I told you about the baby and you told me that I would have left any way. So if that happened you would have lost me anyhow.” Jared says near tears.

“I would have never told you to get an abortion and I wouldn’t have thrown you out either. Jared I love you and I would have never done that to you. It would have taken a while to get used to the idea but I would never do that to you.” Jensen stares at Jared.

“I didn’t know that Jensen and you just ran after the fight and I didn’t want to go through the same thing we always did after that happened. You would be drunk when you got home and then you would act like it never happened.” Jared says.

“I came back and you were just gone. ALL I HAD WAS A DAMN NOTE. You refused to even talk to me. Every time I tried you ran for the hills or cowered behind your excuses.” Jensen screams.

“Okay, Jensen why don’t you go take a breather and I’ll get us something to drink.” Loretta stops them.

Jensen stomps out of the room.

“Are you okay?” Loretta asks Jared.

“Yeah. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have left.” Jared shudders.

“Jared it’s both of your faults. Not a one of you can take the blame solely by yourself. You both have issues that need to be taken care of. I’ll be back.” Loretta says as she stands up.

Loretta walks into the waiting room and finds Jensen outside kneeling against the wall by the door. “Jensen, honey.” She says as she pushes the door open.

“Yeah.” Jensen says as he looks up at her.

“I know that you are upset about what is going on in your life right now but you have got to keep a level head in there. Getting all riled up and screamin’ ain’t going to solve any of it.” Loretta stoops down beside him.

“Yeah, I know, but I just want to know why?” Jensen sobs.

“I know honey, but that isn’t going to get you the answers you are looking for. Talking it out is the only way it’s gonna get better.” Loretta smoothes her hand over his cheek. “Come in when you feel like it.”

Jensen sat outside for about ten minutes trying to get calmed down. He thought about how Jared felt when they had fought and how he had blown the fights off. He had gone and got drunk after those fights and the next day act like they didn’t happen. That part was his fault but damn it Jared had been the one to never bring them back up. Jensen scrubbed his hands up and down his face then rubbed the back of his neck and stood back up to go inside.

Loretta was talking to Jared when Jensen walked back in. They both stop talking when he came back in. Loretta looked at him with a sweet smile. “I was trying to give Jared some tips on how to keep the twins from killing each other over the next couple of days and driving him crazy. What day where you going to go down to Houston?” she asks him.

“I actually have tomorrow off and was going to head down with Jared and the kids.” Jensen looks at Jared.

Jared looks at Jensen and smiles, giving him a curt nod. “The kids will be happy to see you with their own eyes, maybe they will stop being bad.”

“I am not that good.” Jensen snickers.

“Okay you two let’s get back to it.” Loretta smiles at them. “Jared how about telling Jensen how you felt after you left him.”

Jared clears his throat and looks back over at Jensen. “Well I was upset because I really didn’t want to leave but I didn’t want Jensen to leave me either. So I did it first before he could do it to me. I know it was fucked up logic but I felt that if he found out I was pregnant he would have left me and I would have been in that position anyhow.”

“You didn’t even give me a chance to try and do anything. You made the choice for me.” Jensen sneers.

“I know and I’m sorry I didn’t let you have that choice but hopefully now we can work everything out and do it right.” Jared earnestly tells Jensen.

“Do you two think you would be able to safely work on this further on your own? I mean just this one subject, others we can discuss here and then take them further on your own.” Loretta looks at them.

“I think we can work on it.” Jensen tells her.

“I think so too.” Jared replies.

“Okay then Jared do you have a question for Jensen.” Loretta peers at Jared.

“Yes.” Jared says looking down at his paper. “You had said something about the only reason you were even still around was because of Chris. What did you mean by that?” Jared gives Jensen a pointed look.

Jensen visibly swallows. “Chris has been my friend for years. It’s funny because I was that little kid that everyone picked on with the glasses and the freckles. Chris had friends and they could never get why he pulled me under his arm and talked to me like I was fucking special. He told me after Jared left he did it because I was always so lost and everyone used me as a doormat. He hated how my mother had always dropped shit on me. I used to cry to him when she was really bad. He knows all of it things I have never told anyone else, ever.” Jensen stops and blows out a long breath.

“How come you could never tell me those things Jensen I was supposed to be the person you loved and held in your heart? Confided in.” Jared asks.

“I hold you in my heart Jared but why should I tell you all this shit when he already knew it and why should I bring you down with me? You never told me you were pregnant. I’m sorry I didn’t mean that.” Jensen stopped to compose himself for a minute. “It got really bad when I turned sixteen and I refused to go to the spring dance with some girl from school because she wanted me too. I had already told Chris I was gay and he knew how mother always threw girls at me. She was all over me that night and says shit about how I’d never be able to make her proud if I couldn’t even get a date to some kiddy dance. She was talking about how Mackenzie had had boys stopping by the house to meet her and dad. And Jeff had been with the same girl for two years now. I was looking at the floor the whole time she was tearing me up. And then all of a sudden she just stopped and gave out a cruel laugh. I can remember her getting up and coming to stand in front of me, grabbing me by the hair, ripping my head up and spitting her words straight into my face. She said ‘your some little faggot aren’t you’. I cringed away from her. She was still holding my hair tight and it pulled. I whimpered and she said ‘that I was just another little sick fuck that would bend over for whatever I could get’. I pleaded with her to let me go and to stop. She let go of my hair and pushed me to the floor when dad came into the room because he heard me crying. He jumped all over her wanting to know what she thought she was doing. Dad told her that she needed to keep her hands off his son and if he ever caught her touching me again she would regret it. She never touched me again but she sure never kept her mouth shut either.” Jensen stopped to look out the window, sitting in silence.

After a few minutes Jared says, “Jen what did you mean you’re only here because Chris stopped you?”

“God damn it Jared don’t you get it. If you only knew how many time I got so close to off ‘en myself you never would of gave me a chance. It seems like Chris has a sick sense when I’m going to try because he’s always magically there to stop me.” Jensen gives a sad laugh. “The last time was after you left. He was actually ready to just leave me and let me go this time but he said that it would eat at him if he did. He was so fucking pissed at me. I told him that I was just going to sit and think, that I was a grown man and didn’t need him watching over me all the time. I told him I couldn’t think if he was sitting around asking me if I was okay, so he went home one night and once he was gone I went to the bar. When I drove home I couldn’t even see straight. I made it home but the garage door didn’t fare to well. I know it was wrong to keep all this shit from you but it’s also hard to let someone else know how shitty my life has always been. My mother is a bitch, queen of them all. She made every second of my life hell and Chris kept my head above drowning. After that time when I was sixteen I went down to the river and just stood on the side of it hoping that no one would notice me. I was supposed to be at Chris’ house and when I didn’t show up he came looking for me. I had just token a swan dive when Chris came running up to me. There had been a recent storm and it was up and moving fast. Chris pulled me out and took me to his place and laid into me, told me that she wasn’t worth taking my own life. It’s just hard when she is always all over my ass and never anyone else’s. Dad would try and keep her from doing it too much but he couldn’t be there all the time. And then he started to get sick and she would start in on him too. He would still try but it got to be where he didn’t have the energy to protect both of us. It got bad all over again. She even did it when I went to college. But Chris would take the phone away from me and lay into her and hang up. Then Mac and Jeff started to act like her too. She took everyone away and turned them against me. I had Chris though. He stopped things from going bad so many times. You made a lot of the dark go away, Jared.” Jensen looks up at the ceiling before getting up and leaving Jared and Loretta sitting there.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Jared says getting ready to follow him.

Loretta stops him. “You just sit tight boy, he’ll be back. Give him a minute.”

“Loretta he can’t be alone.” Jared turns to look at her.

“Jared the boy is still alive. I don’t think he’s going to do anything to himself.” Loretta looks back at Jared.

As she finishes her sentence the door opens back up and Jensen walks back in. “Sorry. I just needed a break.”

“That’s alright honey. I think we are done for today. And I want to do separate sessions next week. You can still come in together but plan on being here for about two hours. That way I can talk to you both privately.” Loretta tells the boys.

“If you don’t mind I’ll come in earlier. Before the kids get out of school and it won’t cut into my time with them before I go to work.” Jared looks from Loretta to Jensen.

“That’s fine with me. They are going to still be adjusting to you working nights so if that’s what you need to do.” Jensen tells him.

“About what time do you think will be good for you, Jared?” Loretta asks.

“Would eleven be too early?” Jared asks

“That is fine by me. Will you of had enough sleep?” Loretta asks.

“Yeah I will be good. I can take a nap before the kids and Jensen get home.” Jared tells her.

“I’ll come at the normal time. That way I’ll not be any later than normal getting home.” Jensen tells Loretta.

“Alright, boys that’s it for today. Go easy on each other. Don’t dwell on any of this. We will work this out together.” Loretta looks at the boys.

They all stand and Loretta walks them out into the waiting room, locking the door behind them. She went back into the office and sits down at her desk. “Oh, Momma what will become of these two if they can’t figure this out?” Loretta looks at the picture on her desk and her mother is smiling back at her. Momma tells her that the boys need to open their eyes to the life they had and try to get back to each other. To not let their past misgivings destroy the lives that had been set forth for them when they meet. What people say are just things that people say and cannot make your life even though what some people say can destroy a life. As a person they need to be strong not only for themselves but for each other.

Now Loretta ain’t crazy like most people thinks she is just a little different and she might be taking advice from her Momma’s picture, but her momma was smart and talked quite well even from the other side, even if she could be a little cryptic at times. Loretta doesn’t always think that she can get people to do like she tells them but she tries hard to get them to see that not everything is lost when they have problems that they think they can’t overcome. Jared and Jensen have a lot of emotional problems that need to be sorted out before they can even trust each other again.

Jensen’s soul had been damaged by his mother for years. She cannot understand how a mother can take a child that is her own flesh and blood and turn them into a broken soul or well any parent. Love your child before you love yourself. Now Loretta needs to get Jensen to understand that he isn’t his mother and his children will not have to suffer like he did. He is his own person and his life is his own. Jensen can make his life better by excepting that his mother has no control over how things happen to him since he is no longer under her constant control. She has no right to still be in control of how he feels about himself. He had rebelled and married the man he loved but let his mother’s twisted view of his life lead to him denying the one person he really let in the one thing he could provide.

And Jared, Loretta knows his family and she doesn’t understand how Jared has such issues with abandonment. Sherry and Jerry have always been there for their children. Sherry did have some problems with Jared and his leaving Jensen. That reason had nothing to do with Jared leaving Jensen. That didn’t even come into the picture until Jared left. Not unless it came from all the fighting they did and Jensen leaving all the time. Loretta wonders if there might be more to Jared’s problem then the baby thing. She will just have to sit down with them one at a time and pick at them. They need to be brought out of their own head space and look at their problems from the outside.

Loretta looks back at the picture of her mother and touches the glass. “You know Momma, I know that life ain’t always good to people and you told me that. But why do some people get more trouble than others.” Loretta sat and stared at that photo for a long time and didn’t get any sort of reply. “Fine then don’t tell me. I’ll just figure it out on my own.”

Once Jared and Jensen got outside of Loretta office Jared stops and looks at Jensen. “Jen, how come you never told me it was that bad with your mother.”

“Jared there wasn’t anything you could have done to help me with it and I had cut all ties with her. It’s in the past.” Jensen says.

“It doesn’t seem as if it’s in the past if it still eats away at you.” Jared looks at him.

Jensen turns away from Jared and tells him, “Jared just let it be. She said not to dwell on it outside of our meetings. So just drop it.”

“Okay, but if you need to talk I’ll listen.” Jared tells him. “Are you coming with me to pick up the kids?”

“Yeah I’ll be there in a little bit. Just let me get my head straight right now. Tell the kids I’ll be there in about an hour if that’s okay with you?” Jensen asks.

“That’s fine. You sure you’re okay?” Jared looks up at Jensen.

“I’ll be fine Jared. See you in a little bit okay.” Jensen says as he walks to his car.

“I’ll see you there.” Jared waves at him. Jared watches as Jensen leaves the parking lot and pulls out into traffic. He really wishes that Jensen would have told him the things his mother had done to him.

Jensen had to get away before he suffocated from the things he had told Jared. He felt like that young kid again. No matter how hard he tried to get away from her she was right there. And what had come out today wasn’t even enough to break the camel’s back. It had all started out as small things how she would react when he spilled something on accident or not gotten his room completely clean to her requests. Then as he got older it became more about the things he did do. No matter how well his grades where he never joined sports, however popular he was he never had the right friends, if he went to the activities at school she would go off on him because he went stag. When Chris became interested in music and Jensen show an interest in it too she called him a little whore wanting to find others like him. It was always one thing after another. Absolutely nothing was ever good enough, not even when he did nothing. Jensen drove until he made it to the park. He turns the car off and rolled the windows down.

“Damn this hurts. Why couldn’t she of just loved me for me. The only thing I did was be born. Hateful bitch. Okay Jensen you need to pull yourself together. Jared and the kids are waiting at Sherry’s and you can’t leave them hanging. Donna has no control over me anymore. She cannot make my decisions for me ever again and I control my own life.” Jensen takes a deep inhale and blows it out slow.

After Jared watched Jensen leave the parking lot, he got in his own car to go back to his momma house. When he got to the house his Momma was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee.

“Where is Jensen?” Sherry asks.

“We had a rough day. He needed to get in a different head space. He has some very dark things in his past. That I don’t think he has ever really dealt with.” Jared gives her a sick smile.

“Will he be okay, do you think?” Sherry asks.

“I hope so.” Jared looks up at her. “Kids been okay. They have been driving me nuts.” Jared changes the topic.

“They had a little tiff right after you left but I took care of it.” Sherry waves it off.

“What was it about?” Jared asks.

“Well, Anna had gotten to the TV first and wanted to watch her “My Little Pony” Movie before Bray got to watch what he wanted. And I took care of it without any big problems. You three didn’t kill each other.” Sherry smiles at him.

At that point Jensen walks in the door with a smile on his face. He also has a bag from Toys ‘r’ Us.

“What’s in the bag?” Jared stands and walks over to Jensen.

“These are sleeping bags and those pillow pet things. You know so they will have friends while we move and they are here.” Jensen gives Sherry and Jared a goofy smile.

“Well I see you are in a better ‘mood’ then when you left Loretta’s.” Jared raises an eyebrow at Jensen.

“Yes I gave myself a pep talk and I’m better for right now.” Jensen nods his head. “Well let’s go give these to the kids.” Jensen leaves Sherry and Jared staring at each other like he had lost his mind. He pops his head back into the kitchen, “You two coming?”

“Yeah, right behind you.” Sherry pats Jared on the back and pushes him towards the door.

“Daddy.” Both Bray and Anna scream when Jensen enters the play room and rush to him.

“Hey, you two how have you been? I heard you hadn’t been very nice to each other and have been getting in trouble at daycare.” Jensen gives them a stern look.

“Anna had been saying stuff about how everything is gonna be diffent and I told her that it won’t be any diffent than us movin to Houstin.” Bray tells him.

“But you keep tellin me that it all gone too be the same just that we gonna have Daddy Jensen. But we have to move again.” Anna complains back at Bray.

“Hey I know you guys just moved to Houston not too long ago and it’s going to be hard to pick up and move again but just think you will be with both me and your Papa. That means all four of us together, taking care of each other. It will be rough in the beginning because we will all have to get used to each other and get used to being in a new house, but we will do together.” Jensen smiles at the kids.

“Okay.” Anna smiles back at him.

“Will we have our own rooms?” Bray asks.

“Yes you both have rooms all to yourselves.” Jensen tells them. “And after we get settled in we can decorated however you would like.”

“I can haves whatever I want.” Anna eyes are so big they look like they could pop out of their sockets.

“Any way you want it.” Jensen smiles.

“Awesome.” Bray hoots.

“So I got you something for your stay with Granma.” Jensen holds the bags out to each of them.

“What is it?” Bray asks.

“Take it out and find out.” Jensen tells him. As Anna pulls out a Lighting McQueen sleeping bag and a pillow pet of him and wrinkles up her face, Bray pulls out a My Little Pony bag and a unicorn pillow.

“I’m not a girl.” Bray complains.

“Simple mistake. I gave you both the wrong bag. Just switch them.” Jensen laughs at their faces.

Both of them look at their spoils and them go to Jensen and give him hugs and kisses as a thank you.

“So are you two going to try and get along?” Jensen looks at both of them.

“I can try.” Anna says.

“Yes I will get along with Anna.” Bray tells him with a nod of his head.

“Hey I have a question for you two?” Jared says from behind Jensen. “Do you want to go back to Houston or stay here with Granma?”

“I want to stay here. Don’t want to sit in the car.” Anna complains.

“My but still hurts from sitting in my seat.” Bray shakes his head.

“You do know you probably won’t see me until Sunday morning. We are packing tomorrow, moving Saturday and unpacking.” Jared looks between them.

Anna and Bray look between each other and Bray answers for them, “We will be okay with Granma.”

“All right just wanted to make sure. Momma is it okay that they stay with you?” Jared looks back at her.

“Little late to ask now. You know I’ll keep them.” Sherry smacks him upside the head. “Maybe you two can get to know each other a little again.”

“Momma.” Jared blushes because he knows what she is hinting at. Jensen gives a little laugh, but is blushing too.

“I am going to go get supper started.” Sherry announces as she takes her leave.

“So are you going to be okay if we leave you alone together?” Jared looks between the twins.

“Yes.” They both nod.

“You coming with.” Jared asks Jensen.

“Yeah. I’ll be there in a minute.” Jensen confirms.

Jared leaves him alone with the twins. Jensen looks back out the door to make sure they are alone. “You both know that I am really happy that I found you and your Papa again. I am also very happy that we will be living all in the same house. But I want you to know that I want you to get along with each other. You have to love each other because when Papa and I get old and leave you will be all the other has. You will need each other and family needs to have each other.” Jensen tells the twins.

“Daddy why you sad?” Anna looks him in the eyes.

“I just had a bad day baby girl. But I feel better now that I am here and in the next few days we will all be together.” Jensen pulls her into his arms, kissing her forehead.

“Do we make you happy Daddy?” Bray comes and stands beside Jensen and Anna.

Jensen pulls Bray into the hug and tells them, “Yes very much.” His kisses them both and then stands back up. “I am going to go talk to your Papa.”

When Jensen makes it into the living room Jared is sprawled out on the couch with the remote in his hand flipping through the channels. Jensen sits down with him, placing his hand on his ankle. “Jared, do you think we can make this work?”

“Jen, I think that if we try, we will. We really need to get by our issues though. We are both a little screwed up in the head and need to work on it.” Jared looks over at him.

“Yeah I think I’m a little more screwed up than you.” Jensen smiles at him gravely.

“Well, Jen I think that we both have issues that we have boxed up and not looked at. They have just compounded into a great big pile of shit that we never flushed out.” Jared snickers at his analogy.

“Need an awful big plunger for my shit.” Jensen laughs at him when he screws up his nose.

“We’ll get there.” Jared sits up and scoots over to Jensen putting his arm around his shoulder pulling him into a hug.

“I’ve missed you Jay, so damn much.” Jensen whimpers into his neck.

“I know Jen. I’ve missed you, too.” Jared rubs his back.

Sherry walks into the room and clears her throat, “So do you two want anything special for supper or are you going to be taking off.”

“We are staying. That means real food and no take out because I have no food. Well except for like cereal.” Jared smiles at her.

“What do you mean you don’t have any food?” Jensen asks dumbstruck. Thinking that Jared was broke or something.

“I have been buying food by the day so nothing went bad on the move. I have half a box of corn pops and half of a half-gallon of milk.” Jared looks pointedly at Jensen.

“Oh okay I thought you didn’t have money to buy food and I was going to tell you that you just needed to ask for help.” Jensen ducks his head down.

“Nope just didn’t want to lose money by carting perishables from Houston to Austin.” Jared pats him on the leg.

“Alright all’s settled then if you don’t have any request I’m making spaghetti.” Sherry walks back out of the room without getting an answer.

“Like she even needed us to decide.” Jared laughs.

“She’s your mom.” Jensen says.

“I think she loves you more than me.” Jared frowns.

“Whatever, Jay. You’re her kid. I’m just her son-in-law.” Jensen frowns back at him.

“No she has loved you from the start. You stole her heart from the first time I brought you home. And she will always love you. Don’t ever forget that Jensen.” Jared gives him a sweet smile.

“Jared.” Jensen shakes his head.

“No we are good on that. I can share her with you.” Jared pulls him back into a hug.

“I love you Jay.” Jensen kisses his neck.

“I love you too Jen.” Jared hugs him tighter.


	32. Chapter 32

 

Chapter 32

 

Jared looks up and sighs at the people coming into the lobby at end of the day he will be packing up the rest of the apartment and heading back to Austin to live together with Jensen again but with the twins this time. He really hopes that they will be able to pull this off and not put Anna and Bray through too much shit. He shakes his head because he keeps catching himself cussing and damn it he had that under control until this past couple of weeks. The twins hadn’t happened to hear it so that is one good thing.

When they had gotten back to the apartment last night they sat down in front of the movie shelf and started to put them into multiple boxes. Jensen had started to talk about how it was going to be so different living in the house again. Jared told him that it would be weird to be living in an actual house instead of an apartment. They had sat in companionable silence while they finished packing the movies. After Jensen sat there yawning Jared suggested they get to bed because he had his last four hour shift tomorrow and they had to finish packing the kitchen, the bedrooms, and the bathrooms. The apartment was already over run with moving boxes in almost every corner.

Jared was snapped out of his thoughts by the desk bell ringing. As he looked up he looked straight into the face of Jensen’s mother.

“Well look at this the damn freak that turned my Jensen into a ragging faggot.” Donna sneers at Jared.

Jared is standing ramrod straight as he looks at her. “What do you want Donna?”

“I’m just checking in.” Donna laughs at the discomfort she sees in Jared. “Have you seen him lately? He doesn’t talk to me anymore. Oh wait that’s right you left him and he was all broken and whiny.”

“Donna this is my place of employment. I will respect you as long as you show me that same courtesy.” Jared tells her straight faced.

“Don’t be that way Jared. You know I never liked you from the beginning.” Donna says. “So about my room.”

“Give me a minute.” Jared turns his attention to his computer screen. “Here is your key.” He hands over the plastic card making sure he didn’t touch her as she took it.

“I would say it was good to see you but I would be lying.” Donna turns and walks to the elevator.

“Oh, fuck, oh fuck.” Jared turns to Angie his replacement, “I need to go make a private call so I’m taking five. I’ll be right back. And if that woman comes and starts asking questions about me tell her it’s none of her business.”

Jared walks into the office and pulls out his phone, dialing Jensen’s number as his hands shake.

“ Hello, Jared.” Jensen answers.

“Listen to me your mother just checked into the hotel, being she shitty self. Do not come here today. I get off in about an hour and we can stay in the apartment and try to get everything packed up and hopefully she just leaves me alone.” Jared blurts out.

“What? NO this can’t be happening.” Jensen says as his breathing picks up.

“Jen, listen you don’t have to see her. Just stay in and I’ll bring food home when I get off work. I didn’t say anything about you she doesn’t know about the kids or us. Don’t freak out. If you have to, call and talk to Chris. I’ll be there in a little while.” Jared tries to calm him down.

“Okay. Alright, I’ll try and calm down.” Jensen blows out a breath. “How could this be happening?”

“It will all be okay, Jen, just stay calm she doesn’t know anything except that I work at the hotel.” Jared reassures him.

“Okay, I think I’ll go ahead and call Chris.” Jensen says shakily.

“That’s fine, whatever helps you get past this.” Jared tells him. “I’ll be there in a while.”

When Jared hangs up Jensen goes to the floor pulling his legs up to his chest, rocking back and forth on his butt. He shuts his eyes and does some slow breathing, reopening his eyes he scrolls to Chris’ number and hit send. After the third ring Chris picks up.

“Chris?.” Jensen whines.

“Jensen what’s wrong?” Chris asks a little taken back by how Jensen sounds.

“My mother is in Houston.” Jensen replies.

“What do you mean your mother is in Houston?” Chris asks.

“Jared just called me and told me to stay in the apartment and not go to the hotel. That she just checked in and was being her normal self.” Jensen tells him breathing slightly faster.

“Do you need me to come?” Chris asks.

“No Jared gets off work in about an hour and we have to finish packing. I just don’t want to see her.” Jensen says close to tears.

“Just stay in the apartment and wait for Jared. If you don’t go out there won’t be a chance that she will see you. Jared knows some stuff now and he knows what she is like he won’t rat you out to her.” Chris tries to soothe him.

“Things are starting to go so good and then it just seems like something always comes along to throw a wrench into it. Chris what if she finds out about the kids and then does something to screw it all up?” Jensen sobs.

“Jen, you can’t think like that. She doesn’t have any control over you any more in any way. You are the person that makes the choices for you. You are your own man and your life is yours. Your mother has nothing to hold over your head.” Chris rattles off to Jensen.

“But she does I can only see my dad when certain nurses are working and then it’s only for a limited amount of time.” Jensen tells him.

“I know that Jensen but that is the only aspect that she has any control over. She doesn’t control how everything else happens. Put her out of your mind she can’t hurt you if she doesn’t know you are there. Do you hear me?” Chris comes to an end.

“Yes I understand don’t let her get to me.” Jensen replies.

“Damn right son. Now only if we could get rid of her by droppin’ a damn house on her head and dowsing her in water.” Chris snickers trying to lighten the mood.

“I would of drowned her a long time ago if it would of worked.” Jensen tells Chris with less emotion than before.

“Are you at least a little better, now.” Chris asks.

“Yeah I should be good until Jared gets here.” Jensen tells him.

“Call if you need to talk more. I’ll talk to you later, okay.” Chris says.

“Okay. I’m good. I’ll talk to you later, too and see you tomorrow.” Jensen adds at the end.

“Yes I will be there at about nine. Bye, Jen.” Chris hangs up.

Jensen sits on the floor for a few more minutes and then gets up to finish the box he was working on. He has the kitchen almost completely packed. Folding the box ends in, he steps back and decides to go sit down and watch just a little TV. At least the cable is still on. Sitting back against the cushions, breathing slowly he drifts off to sleep with the TV playing low. The next thing he knows the front door is slamming shut and Jared is calling his name.

“Hey, sorry where you asleep?” Jared asks smiling.

Jensen rubs the sleep from his eyes as he looks up at Jared. Damn he can’t believe that Jared is standing in front of him. He loves this man with everything he has. Jared is smiling down at him, it takes his breath away.

“Yeah. I got the kitchen almost completely done. Just wanted to sit down and relax. She didn’t harass you did she?” Jensen sits up and stretches.

“No I didn’t see her after she went to her room.” Jared tells him flopping down on the couch. “I brought Chinese and beer.”

Jensen laughs at him, “I thought you didn’t drink anymore.”

“Yeah but I have no kids and I don’t like your mother. You know it’s too bad you can’t divorce her.” Jared smiles at Jensen.

“I thought about that. But why waste the money. I just stay as far away from her as I can.” Jensen solemnly tells him.

“Yeah true. Well let’s eat before it gets cold. Beer?” Jared asks.

“Yes please.” Jensen holds out his hand. Jared hands him a beer getting up to get plates and stick the rest of the beer in the fridge.

Coming back into the living room he stops and watches Jensen take a sip of his beer, head tilted back, eyes shut and adam apple working as he swallows. Jared shutters as he stares. No, no, no beer was a bad idea. Stupid dick. Blowing out a huff, thinking about Jensen’s mother and road kill he wills his dick to stand down. “Hey don’t drink it all in one go?”

“I’m not just need to relax a bit.” Jensen smirks at Jared. “A couple of beers aren’t going to do much.”

“Okay we still have the bedrooms and the bathroom to box up. Want to get it done before we go to bed tonight. That way the only thing we have to do tomorrow is load and go.” Jared looks over at Jensen.

“I know we will get it done. No sweat. There is just little stuff in the kitchen yet. Those couple of drawers by the stove is about it.” Jensen tells him.

“Yeah that can be put in a miscellaneous box. And I guess I’m over reacting because there isn’t that much in the bedrooms or bathroom. I just don’t want to be packing all night.” Jared takes a bite of his Chinese.

Jensen takes another draw from his beer. “Well neither do I.” Jensen smiles at Jared.

“Come on eat up. It will probably be a long night no matter how fast we get it packed.” Jared smiles back at him.

“Yeah.” Jensen says turning back to his food.

They sit there in silence finishing their meal and heading to the kitchen to set their plates in the sink and head to the twins room. Jared had already cleaned out the dresser all that was left in there was the closet and the toys.

 

“I should get rid of some of this shit instead of taking all the way to Austin. They don’t play with half of it anymore.” Jared stands up to get a trash bag. “You want another beer?”

“Yes please.” Jensen replies from the closet.

“I’ll be right back.” Jared leaves.

Jared comes in carrying two open beers and some garbage bags. Handing one to Jensen he sits down in front of the toy box.

“How many toys are you getting rid of?” Jensen asks.

“I’m just getting rid the ones that they don’t play with. And knowing you they will be replaced before long with new ones. We want to be able to live in the house, not suffocate from the overgrowth of toys.” Jared laughs.

“It won’t be that bad. If I go buying them a bunch of toys they will expect it all the time and I don’t want them to think that it will be happening all the time.” Jensen tells Jared.

“Oh so you won’t be spoiling them any time soon.” Jared looks back over his shoulder at Jensen.

“No I will not be spoiling them on a regular basis.” Jensen looks back over his shoulder meeting Jared’s eyes.

“Okay just checking.” Jared goes back to weeding through the toys. While Jensen finishes the closet.

With the kids’ bedroom done they go to Jared room. And being that Jared had been trying to do all the other rooms he hadn’t done much with his bedroom. All the drawers where still full, the closet was full and the night stands. And he really wanted to do the nightstand all by himself without any extra help, it might be a little embarrassing with what was in there. Hey yeah he was celibate but that didn’t mean he didn’t need some help sometimes. Can’t hold those kinds of things against a guy. Okay he needs to pull his mind way from that nightstand and worry about other parts of the room. He grabs the box sitting by the dresser and start shoving things from the drawers into it.

“Hey Jared I’ll be right back going to get another beer, you want one?” Jensen walks up beside him.

“Yeah, can you bring in a couple more of those boxes, too?” Jared asks stopping to look at Jensen.

“Yeah, I’ve got the closet about done.” Jensen tells him as he turns to leave.

Jared stands as he walks over to the nightstand thinking he could get it emptied before Jensen gets back, until he hears Jensen dragging the boxes into the room. Shit, he busted. He cringes as Jensen walks up behind him.

“What do you have in there?” Jensen says from right behind him.

Jared looks up beet red as he says, “Nothing really.”

Jensen looks over Jared’s shoulder giving an audible swallow as to what he sees in the box. “Okay, yeah that’s definitely nothing.” He smirks; stepping back from Jared’s back, going back to the closet, feeling slightly warmer than he did when he brought the boxes in.

“You know I never cheated while we were separated.” Jared tells him.

“I know, Jay. But I can’t tell you the same. I tried to bury it in cheap hook-ups. It never worked. I still felt like shit.” Jensen ducks his head to look down.

“Jen, I know it wasn’t easy. I’m sorry I hurt you like that.” Jared sincerely tells Jensen.

“I’m sorry you felt like you had to run from me, Jared I want this to work.” Jensen looks over at Jared.

Just as Jared was getting ready to reply there is a knock at the door. “I’ll get that. I have no idea who it could be. I’ll be right back.” Jared leaves Jensen to pack the boxes.  
“What do you want?” Jared says as he opens the door on the visitor.

“Well I wanted to see how my son-in-law was living since he wasn’t leeching off my son anymore.” Donna says pushing her way into the apartment.

“I want you to leave. You have no right to be here.” Jared says sternly.

Jensen gasps as he hears his mother’s voice. He steps into the closet and pulls the door closed behind him, trying to hide.

“Now, is that any way to treat your mother-in-law?” Donna turns to him. “I actually came here to offer you something.”

“Whatever you have to offer I don’t want it.” Jared tells her.

“I will pay for your divorce and I won’t tell Jensen about those brats you birthed. Do you think I was stupid enough not to know about those abominations the two of you sired?” Donna says to Jared perplexed face.

“My children are not abominations or brats and you have no right to talk about either Jensen or I or our kids like that you bitter bitch. You should have never had kids with the way you have treated the ones you gave birth to, Jensen has never done anything to you that deserves to be treated as you have treated him. I wish I could remove everything you have ever done too him from his memory so he could have confidence in himself. I never could understand how he wanted nothing to do with you, but now I understand it all. Get the fuck out of my apartment and leave all of us alone. That includes my husband.” Jared opens the door and glares at Donna.

“OH well I guess you’re not as smart as I thought you were, what with leaving Jensen and keeping the brats from him but I guess I was wrong. Your choice.” Donna walks by him and out the door. “Oh yes and Jensen dear you can come out and have your fall out I’m leaving.”

Jared slams the door in her face and heads to the bedroom, but he doesn’t see Jensen, but he does hear uneven sobs coming from the closet. Walking over and opening the door dropping down to his knees to kneel in front of Jensen. “Jen come on, come out and I’ll help you. She’s gone.” Jared tries to coax Jensen out of the closet.

“Why does she always have to stick her nose into everything?” Jensen cries.

“I got rid of her, Jen. She’s gone.” Jared soothes him.

“It’s never that easy with her Jared. She will keep needling until she gets what she wants or makes our lives hell.” Jensen looks up with a scared expression showing on his face.

“Well, we won’t let her succeed. We will beat her at her own game. Turn the tables on her and show her we are stronger than her. We are working on getting our life straightened out and we are going to get there. We just have to work with each other and show that bitch that she’s the worthless one. We can make it past her and make it all good.” Jared tells him squeezing him tighter.

“Okay, I’ll try to do it.” Jensen tells Jared.

Jensen is shaking so bad Jared is worried he will have a panic attack if he doesn’t calm down. “Hey why don’t you come lay down with me and try to calm down a bit?” Jared stands pulling Jensen up with him. Jensen walks shakily over to the bed and crawls in, Jared following behind him. After laying there for a while Jensen was able to calm down and fall asleep. Jared snuggles up to Jensen and kisses his forehead. “It will be okay Jensen.” Jared lays there for about another half hour then gets up to finish packing up his nightstand and the rest of the dresser.

Just finishing up the bathroom he hears movement coming from the bedroom, walking back into his room Jensen is throwing the covers back and sitting up.

“Jay I’m sorry I freaked out on you and then fell asleep. I should have been up helping get this all done.” Jensen looks down at his hands.

“No problem, Jen. I’ve got almost that whole bathroom done and just have to finish the hall bathroom. It won’t take long and then we can sit down and watch stupid TV until bed, maybe drink some more beer.” Jared laughs.

“Okay do you want me to help you in there are start on the hall one?” Jensen stands up stretching.

Jared stands transfixed by the small line of skin showing with Jensen pulled up t-shirt. “Umh, you can start on the hallway.”

“Okay. Are you okay?” Jensen smiles shyly.

“Yeah of course what makes you ask?” Jared goes wide-eyed.

“You’re just are staring and seem off.” Jensen walks toward him.

“Yeah all’s fine. Just need to get this stuff packed up and ready to go.” Jared voices squeaks. Definitely on the manly side.

“I just thought you might of thought of something that you would like to do when we got done is all.” Jensen looks up at Jared.

Jared swallows forcibly and looks back at Jensen, “I’m going to go finish up the bathroom and then we can you know watch TV.” Jared backs up towards the bathroom running into the doorjamb.

“Okay you do that. I’m going to go do the hall bath and get it put up.” Jensen smirks at Jared.

Jared turns and enters his bathroom leans against the sink and looks into the mirror. ‘Shit. Shit. Shit. What the hell was that? We haven’t even discussed this shit and here I am looking at him like he’s actually mine again and he would even want that. Okay Jared don’t be a dumbass if it happens, it happens don’t freak out about it. We are two grown men and we used to do this all the time before. Shit. What the fuck am I thinking? Just don’t think about it, at all.’ Jared takes one more look at himself in the mirror and turns away to finish packing the room up.

Meanwhile Jensen is down the hall looking in the mirror himself. ‘I don’t know if I will be able to leave him alone. He has to be feeling the same exact thing I’m feeling, right? Why would he look like that if he wasn’t feeling like that? But he probably doesn’t want to that with me. Who am I trying to fool, I told him that I had been with other people after he left he won’t want me that way, will he? Christ okay whatever happens happens.’ Jensen turns around to see what he could do with the bathroom first. After getting the linen closet cleared out he goes and gets him another beer. Coming out of the kitchen he runs straight into Jared, almost spilling beer on both of them. “Shit Jay I wasn’t paying attention. I’m sorry.” Jensen apologizes.

“It’s alright I wasn’t expecting you to be coming out the door.” Jared shakes his head. “I have my bathroom done. What do you have left to do?”

“Medicine cabinet and toiletries.” Jensen tells him.

“Go ahead and drink your beer and I’ll finish it up. Find something lame to watch on TV and I’ll be in in a few.” Jared smiles at him.

“Okay, if you say so.” Jensen steps around Jared and turns on the TV.

Jared goes into the kitchen and cracks open a beer, taking a long pull from the bottle setting it back on the counter, “Damn.” Picking his beer up and walking to the door cracking it open to gaze at Jensen. ‘I wonder if he would be willing to do anything with me.’ Walking into the living room he stops by the couch, “Jen.” Jensen looks over the couch back at Jared. “I was wondering if you would want to try something later. If you don’t want to we don’t have too.” Jared’s face is burning he can feel it. He a grown man this should not affect him like this.

Jensen looks at Jared red face and tells him, “I am willing to try whatever you have in mind.”

“Okay let me get this bathroom done. Ten minutes.” Jared rushes out of the room.

“Holy shit.” Jensen is excited just from thinking about what might happen.

Jared is in the bathroom throwing stuff into the boxes just hoping to get it done. He really wants to see if it is still as good as it was to be with Jensen. The only thing he actually is worried about is if he’s going to make a fool of himself. His dick is so hard right now it’s damn near sinful and it hurts. Putting the last of the toiletries into the box and closing the lid, he inhales deeply, palms his dick and decides to splash some water on his face. He walks to the end of the hall and watches Jensen from the doorway. He is sitting with his head thrown to the back of the couch rubbing his hand over his crotch. Maybe Jared doesn’t have much to worry about if just asking has Jensen that turned on. Maybe they will just take it as neither of them getting any recently. And the beer should help them. Whatever who is he trying to fool. One more deep inhale and he clears his throat and walks over to the couch. “So I see that you are in just about as bad a place as I am.” Blushing looking at Jensen as he continues to palm himself.

“Oh you wouldn’t believe. Yesterday I thought I was going to get blue balls and they were going to fall off.” Jensen smiles wickedly at Jared.

Jared moves around to crawl into Jensen’s lap. “Could you please, please kiss me?”

“I can surely do that.” Jensen reaches forward and takes ahold of Jared face. He starts out slow and sweet, then brushes his tongue over Jared lips asking for entry. Jared opens his mouth up for him, moaning long and hard into Jensen’s mouth. Loving how it feels to finally be back where he really had always wanted to be. With Jensen.

Pulling back from Jared Jensen looks at his lust blown eyes, “I want you to be absolutely sure that this is what you want to do before we do this Jared. I don’t want you to use this against me tomorrow.” Jared can see the hurt in Jensen’s eyes as he asks him to be sure.

“Without a single doubt in my mind Jensen, you are it; I want you, now and forever.” Jared swoops back down to take Jensen’s mouth again.

Jensen gasps as Jared come back at him with intent. He has wanted Jared back for so long he just hopes that this will not be a mistake. And Jared won’t change his mind in the morning. “I haven’t done anything with anybody for over a year Jared. It hurt too badly.” Jensen tells him when they draw back for a breather.

“That’s fine, Jensen. I left you high and dry. I didn’t expect you to never move on. I just wish I would have known how things where for you before I took off. I regret leaving you now and keeping the kids from you for so long. Please forgive me.” Jared pleads.

“Only if you can forgive me too.” Jensen says.

“Yes I forgive you and I love you.” Jared kisses Jensen’s neck working on his pulse point.

“Jay I have missed you. I forgive you and I love you too so much.” Jensen says pulling at the hem of Jared shirt. Jared pulls back so Jensen can get it over his head. In turn Jared helps Jensen out of his own shirt.

They sit and gaze at the newly exposed flesh, taking in the lines of muscle and strong pecs. Jared reaches out to tweak a nipples and Jensen arches into the touch. “Jay you are going to kill me.”

“Oh we are just getting started. I won’t be able to walk tomorrow if I get my way.” Jared smiles mischievously at Jensen.

“Keep talking like that and we won’t make it to the bed.” Jensen grabs Jared’s ass. “We’ll have to clean the couch before we move it.”

“Fuck it we can leave it here. It’s old.” Jared comes back in to claim Jensen mouth.

Jared’s hips are rocking back and forth so their crotches are making contact. Jensen gasps and pulls Jared’s head back, “I think it’s time we head for the bedroom.” Jensen voice is low and deep.

“Sounds like an awesome plan to me.” Jared stands pulling Jensen up with him. They strip out of their clothes on the way to the bedroom. They will have to pick those up before Chris gets here in the morning but right now they need that bed.

Jensen watches Jared stretch a crossed his bed, the long line of his legs leading up to his beautiful cock. Jensen draws in a deep breath, “Please tell me you have condoms or we are both so fucked except not in a good way.”

“Yes I left them out top drawer of the night stand.” Jared eyes are almost black. “The lube is there too.”

Jensen looks up at the ceiling, “Thank god.”

“Nope just Jared.” Jared laughs.

“I wasn’t talking about you, smartass.” Jensen throws the lube at Jared. “These are still good right.” Jensen looks at the package but can’t find a date.

“Yeah I’ve only had them for like six months. It makes clean up easier for you know.” Jared blushes.

“Just making sure.” Jensen seductively smiles at Jared.

Jensen crawls up the bed slowly, kissing over all the exposed skin he comes across. Nipping and sucking at it. He stops and kisses at the back of Jared knees because it has always made him so reactive. Finishing with his knees he crawls further up the bed stopping again at the inner most part of Jared’s thighs lavishing them with attention.

Jared is moaning and withering as Jensen kissing and sucks at his skin. When Jensen moves on and nuzzles at his balls he almost comes off the bed but Jensen’s strong hands keep him from rearing up too much. “Jen you are fucking killing me here. Do something.”

Jensen stops and stares up at Jared, “I am doing something. I haven’t had this in a long time and I am  
going to savor it. You will just have to deal with it for a little bit.” Jensen snickers at Jared.

“Shit Jen.” Jared groans as Jensen attacks the crease where his leg meets his hip. Slowly making his way up Jared body he pays close attention to Jared nipples play with one as he sucks and bites at the other one. He then switches side and then continues up Jared body. “Jay I used to jack off to this exact picture of you looking like this.” Jensen confesses.

“I thought about you a lot too. Every time I would imagine it was you.” Jared confides in Jensen. “But it was never the same.”

Jensen captures Jared mouth at his confession. Kissing him long and hard. Breaking the kiss he reaches with for the lube, “Are you ready for this Jared.”

“The most I have ever been.” Jared looks at Jensen flushed face and nods.

Jensen sits up and pops the lube open, poring a generous amount on his fingers, reaching down between Jared’s cheeks, slowly circling his fingers around his puckered hole, lowering himself back down to take Jared mouth again he plunges one finger into Jared’s tight heat. Jared gasps as Jensen stops letting him get used to his finger sitting there.

“Jen I can take more than that. You saw what was in my drawer.” Jared gasps as Jensen adds his second finger. Okay that hurt a little bit. Maybe he wasn’t as used to this as he thought. As he forces himself to relax around Jensen’s fingers as he hits his prostate and the bliss rushes through his veins.

“Do that again Jen.” Jared pleads.

“I am getting there and I’m taking you with me.” Jensen says as he adds the third finger and grinds his cock against Jared’s hipbone. They are both leaking precum all over each other and adding to the pleasure.

“Jen I’m ready. I can’t wait any longer. I need you inside me.” Jared moans into Jensen’s neck.

Jensen kneels up and grabs the condom and rips it open while he still stretches Jared open. He pulls his fingers out long enough to position the condom and smooth some of the cold lube on himself, hissing. “Are you ready to do this Jay? It’s been a long time for us both.”

“Yes Jen I am so ready for you to stick your cock in me.” Jared groans as he feels Jensen set the head of his cock at his entrance.

“Do it Jen.” Jared tells him.

“I getting.” Jensen pushes through the first ring of muscle as Jared hisses at the intrusion. Jensen stops letting Jared adjust.

“All right Jensen move.” Jared wraps his legs around Jensen’s back.

Jensen slides slowly into Jared tight, delicious heat coming back to a stand stick when he bottoms out against Jared. Sitting balls deep in Jared heat he breathes slowly not wanting to blow his load yet.

“Jen seriously I haven’t had real sex in like almost four years, can you like move.” Jared snarks.

“Damn pushy bottom. I can move if you want to be done now without anything else happening tonight.” Jensen retorts.

Jared swivels his hips. Jensen shutters and pulls almost all the way out, then slamming back into Jared’s heat, forcing the air out of Jared. Jared is withering on Jensen’s cock. Jensen changes his angle of his thrusts and hits Jared’s prostate, Jared is a wreck as Jensen grasps his cock and starts to slowly strip it.

“Jen, Jen, Jen.” Jared moans as Jensen tightens his grip and adds a twist on the upswing, gathering the precum at the tip, bringing his hand back down to the base. His hand matches each thrust. Jared is now slamming down into each thrust and up into every pump Jensen gives to his dick.

“Jen, no, no, not yet.” Jared pleads.

“So what you want me to just stop. Make up your mind you either want me to pound you or you want me to stop.” Jensen slows down to small thrusts.

“I want to ride you, please.” Jared begs.

Jensen stops and stares at him. He slowly pulls out of Jared and flops down beside him. “Come on and get to it.” Jensen supports Jared as he sits up and straddles his hips. He reaches down and grasps Jensen by the base as he lines up and starts to sink down and impale himself on Jensen’s cock. Jared takes in slow deep breathes as he starts to move, adjusting slightly and picking up pace. He is a mess as Jensen holds on to his hips and meets every down thrust with his own up thrust. They set a fast paced rhythm and Jensen holds Jared in his hand moving just as fast as he is moving within him.

“Shit,Jen.” Jared groans as he feels his balls tighten up and the buzz setting into his spine and racing to his finish. With one long drawn out moan Jared erupts across Jensen’s hand and over the both of them. As Jared tightens around Jensen he feels himself getting closer to the bliss of his own orgasm. His balls tighten and that’s it. He barely has time to even think about it as he blows deep within Jared.

Jared lays with his head resting on Jensen’s shoulder kissing over his collarbone. Jensen has his arms wrapped around Jared, holding him tight. “Okay Jen I have to move.” Jensen releases Jared and he pulls off Jensen and lies down beside him partially covering him with his own body.

“Shit that was awesome. I haven’t had an orgasm like that in like forever.” Jensen blurts out.

“Thank you.” Jared turns his head into snuggle against Jensen’s neck.

Jensen reaches down to pull the condom off his softening cock as he fells spunk all over the outside. “Ah Jay are you sure that those condoms where actually good?”

“Why?” Jared asks scared.

“Well because it kind of sprung a leak.” Jensen says holding it up to show Jared that the one end had a tear in it.

“Oh fuck me.” Jared whines.


	33. Chapter 33

 

 

Chapter 33

 

“Jared it’s not like the end of the world. Nothing could come from it.” Jensen leans against the head board and looks at Jared as he paces back and forth at the end of the bed.

 

“Jen, I haven’t had sex in like over four years the twins will be four in like two months and add another nine months on to that. Shit that almost five years and …” Jared shakes his head as he paces.

 

Jensen gets off the bed to step into Jared path. “Jay, I know that you are freaking out and I was the one that had given you the insecurities in telling me about the pregnancy before but now I think that I can get with the whole idea. So if it turns out that we did make a baby just now we can handle it.” Jensen cups Jared’s face in his hands and looks at him in the eye. “We’ll be okay.”

 

“How can you be so sure you will be okay with this Jensen?” Jared asks him close to tears.

 

“Have you meet Anna and Bray? Jared if you can do that all on your own, think what can happen if we work on this together.” Jensen rubs his thumb across Jared’s cheek.

 

“Jen I’m scared. I’m afraid that you will use this against me. That if it happens and you find a reason to doubt us that the baby would be the reason.” Jared is crying now, feeling of heartache rises to the surface again.

 

“Jared, I found you again and then there’s Anna and Bray do you think I could leave them and puts the three of you through the heartache of me leaving. I love you and the kids mean so much to me. I never thought I could love them more than I do. If there is a chance that I experience half of what you felt when you carried them and how you felt when they came into this world, it would make me so happy to do that with you.” Jensen reaches up and brushes the tears away; he kisses Jared as if he is the most cherished thing in the world.

 

Jared leans his forehead against Jensen. “Okay I will try not to freak out completely and we will see what happens. I’m still scared though.”

 

“I know but I’m not going anywhere as long as you stick around, please don’t take off again, please.” Jensen begs Jared.

 

“I promise I won’t go anywhere. But if there are any doubts we need to talk to each other no matter what. Even if it’s just something stupid.”

 

“Okay I agree. No matter what it is we talk about it. No screaming, no getting pissed off, no walking out or sleeping on the couch.” Jensen pulls Jared closer to him.

 

“You want to share a room with me.” Jared says with disbelief.

 

“Well yeah. Jared if we are going to do this I think it should be done right. And if you do end up pregnant from this then we should share a bed or as close as we can because we won’t be home at the same time. That way the kids will be able to find us when they need us.” Jensen kisses Jared as he ends his thought.

 

“I hope we can do this.” Jared pulls back from Jensen to look down at him. “I guess we need to buy new condoms.”

 

Jensen laughs at Jared. “We can do that. But we might not need too.” Jensen smiles at him.

 

“Yeah but until we find out for sure we need to make sure we practice safely.” Jared blushes.

 

“I know Jared. I don’t want to do this if you’re not ready but we need to be ready if it does turn out that way.” Jensen sits on the edge of the mattress.

 

Jared sits down beside Jensen, “I know we need to be ready if it turns out that this happens but we haven’t even been reconnected but for a few weeks. And we have issues.”

 

“Issues that we are trying to work through. You stood up for me against my mom and you stood up for the kids and you didn’t listen to her shit.” Jensen turns to look at Jared.

 

“I know. She’s wrong. You do know that don’t you?” Jared asks.

 

“Yes I know she’s wrong but I lived with that shit for so long, that it’s my natural reaction to cower when I hear her voice. To pull away from everything and hide from it.” Jensen shivers.

 

Jared draws Jensen into his side, “I wish you would have told me, I could have helped you work on that.”

 

“I was stupid and Chris was the one that I always turned to about her. He’s my best friend.” Jensen lays his head on Jared shoulder.

 

“I know but it hurts that you didn’t confide in me with it.” Jared lays his head on top of Jensen’s.

 

“I’m sorry. It’s just really hard to let it go. Donna was always all over me and never took a break. She was always saying snide remarks. Even when I wouldn’t be there she would find a way to destroy me.” Jensen sniffles.

 

“Maybe you need to put closure to what she has done so it doesn’t still affect you like this. Confront her and tell her she can’t continue to treat you like that.” Jared shrugs.

 

“Maybe, I can see if Loretta thinks it’s a good idea. See if she can give me some ideas on how to do it without being a mess.” Jensen turns his head towards Jared more.

 

“Why don’t we get cleaned up and get some sleep. Morning is going to be here before we know it and tomorrow is going to be a long day.” Jared releases Jensen and stands up.

 

Jensen stands up too and grabs Jared hand, “I will be with you if it turns out that this happens.”

 

“I know Jen.” Jared squeezes his hand.

 

Jared wakes up with a warm body beside him and wonders how they got back to this place. Jensen is lying behind him with his arm wrapped around his waist breathing softly. Jared thinks that maybe they will be okay. He doesn’t know how throwing another kid into the mix will affect the situation but if it happens they will have to deal with it. He’s kind of dumb struck that Jensen wasn’t freaking out about what happened last night. Maybe Jensen spending time with the kids has given him a different mindset. Maybe it has dawned on him that just because his mom tried to sour his view on kids and both of the twins are healthy and they all are alive that things are different.

 

Jared turns slightly to look at Jensen.

 

“I can hear your brain turning wheelies. Stop.” Jensen mumbles.

 

“Just thinking is all.” Jared turns the rest of the way over.

 

“Well stop we don’t know what’s going to happen until it does. And we need to eat and shower before Chris gets here with the U-Haul.” Jensen squints one eye open at Jared.

 

“I know, just trying to think about our future.” Jared sneaks a kiss before he rolls over and gets out of the bed.

 

“I think taking one day at a time in the present is a better option.” Jensen looks at him.

 

“Oh, I know that but I was thinking about another baby and how everyone was going to react to it. And how we are trying to fix us and that the kids have their other daddy.” Jared walks over to his dresser where the last outfit he has left sat out.

 

“You know I thought about that last night. I think it will be awesome, everyone will be happy, and that we will be fine and the kids will be okay.” Jensen stands up to walk over to Jared.

 

“I really hope so.” Jared turns to look at Jensen.

 

“It will be.” Jensen wraps him up in his arms.

 

“You want to take a shower with me.” Jared smiles at him.

 

“No, hanky panky because your condoms suck.” Jensen kisses him.

 

“I don’t think we have time Chris will be here in like twenty minutes.” Jared tells him.

 

“Now you have me almost wanted to see what all we can do in twenty minutes.” Jensen sucks at Jared neck.

 

“Jen I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Jared moans breathlessly.

 

“I’m not going to do anything. Except maybe this.” Jensen drops his hand down to cup Jared.

 

“Jen.” Jared squeaks out.

 

“I could so help you with this.” Jensen gives him a little squeeze.

 

“Jensen, Chris will be here in like fifteen min…utes.” Jared stutters.

 

“Well we had better get started then.” Jensen plunges in and plunders Jared’s mouth. Jensen pulls away and shakes his ass at Jared. “Coming?”

 

Jared looks at Jensen walk away. He swallows hard and takes off after Jensen as he disappears in the bathroom.

 

Jensen is already crawling into the shower as Jared enters and is kneeling on the floor of the shower waiting for Jared to join him. The water is falling over him. It’s hanging off his hair and eyelashes. He is looking up at Jared with lust blown eyes. Jensen smirks when Jared stops and stares back at him.

 

“Oh, shit.” Jared shutters.

 

“You better hurry up or Chris is going to be here and you won’t get any relief before he gets here.” Jensen tosses Jared a smile.

 

Jared stalks over to the shower and climbs in. As soon as he gets in Jensen attacks him rubbing his hand over his balls and taking in as much of Jared as he can at one time. He might have still done this rarely, but no one was ever Jared. Well except Jared.

 

Jensen pulls back slightly to tongue over the slit and suck at the crown. He then slides back down the shaft and swallows around him as Jared’s cock slides into the back of his throat. Jared is slowly rocking his hips into Jensen’s mouth when he feels Jensen swallow and snaps his hips. Jensen pulls back chocking.

 

“Jared I want you to take my mouth. Just do what you can. I can take it.” Jensen looks up from under his lashes.

 

“Jen.” Jared whines.

 

Jensen takes the crown back into his mouth. Jared starts to thrust slowly, picking up pace as he thrust into the tight, wet heat of Jensen’s mouth. Jensen cups Jared’s balls and rolls them. It doesn’t take long for Jared to falter after Jensen turned himself over to Jared. Jared pulls back a little so Jensen will be able to taste his cum. Jared feels his balls draw up out of Jensen hold as he groans and shoots into Jensen mouth. Jensen hums as the fluid hits the back of his tongue and throat. Jared bends his arms into the wall and bends over Jensen. Jensen laps at Jared softening cock making sure he gets all the cum off of him.

 

Jared pulls back slightly to look at Jensen, “Do you need any help?”

 

“Nope pretty much took care of itself.” Jensen stands up shakily.

 

“Damn, know I was hot, but...” Jared laughs.

 

Jensen pushes him up against the shower wall, “Being a little smug now aren’t you?”

 

“Do you think the kids would want to stay with my momma another night?” Jared looks at Jensen.

 

“I don’t know, probably.” Jensen says.

 

“I wouldn’t mind spending one more night by ourselves, after we stop at a store.” Jared adds at the end.

 

“That sounds interesting.” Jensen smiles up at him. “But right now I think we need to hurry up before Chris gets here.”

 

As if on cue Chris is banging at the door and telling them to get their dead asses on the move. That it was bad enough it was going to take them all damn day as it is. So, their shower ended up of consisting of Jensen giving Jared a blowjob and Jensen blowing his load into the drain. No soap or shampoo. Jensen jumps out of the shower, grabbing a towel and going to answer the door.

 

Chris stares at him from the open door and says, “Please tell me that you two at least finish getting all his shit packed.”

 

“Yep it’s all ready to go. I’m going to go finish up real quick and then we are going to eat and then we can get everything out of here.” Jensen turns away from Chris into the apartment.

 

Chris comes in and shut the door. “So I take it you two did some reconnecting with each other?” Chris smirks.

 

“Chris.” Jensen stops and turns to look at him.

 

Chris holds his hands up in surrender. “I’ll let it be.”

 

“Yeah you will if you know what’s good for you.” Jensen says pointedly.

 

Chris points back down the hall, “You better get going if this is happening today, because I ain’t helping tomorrow.”

 

“I’m going.” Jensen huffs and leaves Chris standing there.

 

  Jared had just gotten out of the shower when Jensen walks in, “So Chris is here, I’m going to go get dressed and get coffee started.”

 

“Yeah I’m just going to wash up real quick and I will be out.” Jensen stares at Jared as he leaves the bathroom.

 

Jensen gets out and gets dressed quickly; going into the kitchen where Chris is drinking coffee and Jared is eating cereal. A bowl and spoon are sitting on the table waiting for him.

 

“So how long do you think this is going to take?” Chris asks over the rim of his cup.

 

“All fucking day. You saw all the boxes right.” Jensen sneers at him.

 

“Yeah but we can pack a shit load in that elevator at one time and then pack them out on the dolly. Three or four boxes will fit at a time with it. The fridge and stove stay right?” Chris asks Jared.

 

“No those are mine. I had to furnish everything when I moved in.” Jared nods his head.

 

“What are we going to do with two of each? I totally forgot to ask if they were yours.” Jensen looks at the appliances.

 

“They are damn near brand new. We could keep them. The ones at the house haven’t ran in a while never know how long they will last.” Jared tells him.

 

“Yeah, true, but we only had them for like a year before you left.” Jensen reminds Jared.

 

“Well we can keep them in storage until we figure it out.” Jared gets up to wash his bowl.

 

“That will work.” Jensen takes a big gulp of his coffee and drinks the milk from his bowl, getting up to wash it out and refill his coffee. “Well we ready to start. I think the bedrooms should be loaded last so they can be taken out first.”

 

“Yeah, because all the clothes are in them.” Jared confirms.

 

“Well I think we should get started so we can get done.” Chris stands up to get rid of his coffee and walks out the door to get the dolly so they can start taking stuff out.

 

“What about my furniture?” Jared asks.

 

“We can turn one of the extra bedrooms into an entertainment room or we can do up part of the basement.” Jensen looks back at him.

 

“That would work. We never did anything with the basement. Turn it into a rec room slash playroom for the kids.” Jared smiles back at Jensen.

 

“We need to move these boxes.” Jensen walks over to a stack of boxes and lifts the top two off, turning to take them over by the front door.

 

“We will have to line them up by the elevator we can’t just hold it up for that long going back and forth.” Jared walks out behind him with two more boxes.

 

Chris comes back in the door with the dolly and loads the four boxes they just brought out onto it. “I’m going to set these by the elevator, can’t hold it up for long.”

 

Jensen laughs and Chris looks at him as if asking what was so funny. “Jared just said the same exact thing.”

 

“Well at least we are thinking on the same wavelength. Come on get moving I want to get this done.” Chris says walking out the door.

 

“God he’s going to be a slave driver all day. Well let’s get these boxes moved.” Jensen turns around and walks back into the kitchen.

 

They get the kitchen done and start on the living room. They actually have to do it piece by piece with the furniture. The couch is a bitch because it was one of those damn fold outs and if Jensen would have known that when he stayed he would have folded it out and slept on it that way.

 

“Jay this thing is heavy as fuck. Who helped you move this damn thing?” Jensen says as he sets his end down waiting for the elevator.

 

“The movers did it all when I moved in. I just had to be here when they showed up.” Jared tells him.

 

“Well this sucks. I don’t know if this thing will go down in the basement. I think it would work better in the spare room. We can get something else for the rec room.” Jensen looks back at Jared breathing heavy from lugging the couch to the elevator.

 

“Well I think the three of us should be able to get it down there. I really don’t want to get rid of this couch. I paid too much for it.” Jared tells him.

 

“I wasn’t saying get rid of it. I just mean getting it somewhere that it doesn’t kill us. This damn thing could smash someone. If it fell on one of the kids it would probably kill them.” Jensen shakes his head.

 

“Yeah but the kids won’t be there. And once it’s somewhere it’s staying there.” Jared looks back over at Jensen.

 

“Alright we can try.” Jensen stands up as the elevator dings to announce that it has arrived. “Come on let’s go.” Jensen picks up his end and walks back into the elevator.

 

By the time they get the apartment empty they are damn near ready to collapse. And they still have to unload it when they get to Austin. Maybe Chris can get Steve to help with unloading and maybe if Jensen talks to Jeff he will help too.

 

They started in a convoy to get there and stop to get gas and snacks then continue on the way to the house. When they get to the house, they go in, sit down in the living room, and make calls to see if they can get people to come help them. Jensen calls his boss, Jeff said to give him about an hour, and he’ll be there. Steve shows up about twenty minutes after Chris calls him. And Jared’s brother, Jeff actually shows up to give them a hand too.  It takes half the time it did when they were packing everything into the U-Haul. Jensen orders pizza and wings for everyone to show how much they appreciate the help. Steve goes on a beer run and Jared asks him to bring back some sprite because he didn’t feel like he needed to drink anything because he needs to start getting stuff unpacked.

 

The couch did make it to the basement after they dropped it in Jensen’s foot and he jumped around like it was destroyed, cussing like no tomorrow. When the pizza arrived they gathered in the living room and sat eating, bullshitting and drinking.

 

“You better be happy with where that damn couch is because the next thing that happens to it will be annihilation.” Jensen smirks at Jared.

 

“It’s not that bad I still had a hold of it when it went down. The whole weight of it was not on your foot.” Jared tells him.

 

“It’s not your foot that’s hurting.” Jensen puts his foot up on the coffee table.

 

“You big baby.” Chris walks into the living room.

 

“Come downstairs so I can drop that damn thing on your foot.” Jensen tells him.

 

“I’ll pass. The truck is almost empty. It has like the kitchen stuff left in it.” Steve says as he follows Chris into the room.

 

“I really appreciate that you guys have taken time out of your day to help Jensen and I move all this stuff in here. And I hope that you will be okay with me being back here. I really want us to be a family again and get to where we need to be.” Jared looks from each person and stops to look at Jensen.

 

“You know what Jay; I was really upset when you took off and left Jensen hangin’ like that. And then when everything was raw and you refused to talk to him about it. I was ready to tear you up, but I guess I’m glad I listened to him and didn’t come after you. But you should have at least talked to him.” Chris looks over at him.

 

“I know I was wrong and I should have done things differently. But I will never treat him like that again. We are past the petty stuff and working on making things better.” Jared smiles at Jensen.

 

“You guys do know I played just as big of a part of this shit as he did right. If I would have told him about Mother I probably wouldn’t have as many problems with the kid thing. I should have confided in him more about my past.” Jensen looks down at his plate.

 

“You know that you two are bringing the mood down. Let’s eat then we can get the last of this stuff in and we can call it a day.” Jeffery Dean, Jensen’s boss says.

 

“Yeah, bro there is no need to dwell on the stuff you can’t change now. Just forge on ahead and try to make the future more attainable. You two have kids and both have jobs and a house to run. You will have a lot of stuff that will keep you busy. I know that.” Jeff tells Jared and Jensen.

 

“I think once we get everything settled down we should do something so that you all can meet the twins. You guys are going to love them. They will amaze you.” Jensen smiles at everyone sitting in the living room.

 

“I believe you.” Steve looks back at him.

 

“Okay let’s get this eaten so we can finish the truck and leave you to do what you will. Being that it looks like you have been eating on each other.” Chris reaches over and pokes Jensen in the side of the neck.

 

“Quit, you ass.” Jensen smacks his hand away.

 

Jeff stands up and walks over to pull the collar away from Jared’s neck. “What the hell is that little brother?” Jeff stabs his finger at the hickey on Jared collarbone.

 

“It’s nothing. Go eat some more pizza and leave me alone.” Jared blushes.

 

“Ahh, baby brother embarrassed that everybody knows what he did last night.” Jeff teases.

 

“I didn’t do anything last night.” Jared tells them. He peeks over at Jensen who is also a little red.

 

“You guys know what, if Jared and I had sex last night it would be none of your business.” Jensen looks pointedly at each one of them.

 

“We are just messin’ with you.” Chris gets up to get more pizza.

 

“All right I’ll leave you alone.” Jeff gets up and smacks Jared on the back. “And just to let you know it looks good on you.”

 

“Jeff.” Jared goes another shade of deeper red.

 

Jensen snickers and stands up to go get more beer. “Anybody need another beer?”

 

Everybody wants another and Jared a sprite. “Here you guys.” Jensen hands out the beers and takes the sprite to Jared. He sits down beside him and rests his hand on his leg. Jared looks over at him and smiles softly. He brings his mouth down to his ear and whispers, “These guys are a bunch of jackasses.”

 

Jensen breaks out laughing and has everyone staring at them.

 

“Hey you two none of that if you are going to share secrets share them with all of us.” Jeffery Dean tells them.

 

“What if it’s about later tonight? You want to know all those sorted details.” Jensen smirks at him.

 

“Oh hell no you can keep those details to yourselves. I don’t need the images either.” Jeffery Dean tells them.

 

“But boss, you wanted to know the secret.” Jensen laughs at the face Jeffery Dean pulls.

 

Jared smacks his hand down on Jensen’s leg and says, “I think we can keep those to ourselves, Jen.”

 

“So when are you bringing the kids home?” Steve asks.

 

“We are going to go get them on Sunday. Hopefully we can get a lot of this stuff put up tonight and tomorrow.” Jared looks over at Steve.

 

“Do you guys need help putting anything back together or will you be good getting it done?” Steve asks.

 

“I put it all together when I moved to Houston. We should be good.” Jared tells him.

 

“I am not totally useless you know. I can do stuff.” Jensen huffs at him.

 

“I know that. It would go faster if you had more hands to get stuff done.” Steve reiterates.

 

“No you guys can all go home after the truck is empty. We can take it from here.” Jensen tells them.

 

“Yeah we know what you two want to do when you get all alone.” Chris snickers at them.

 

“Whatever. You don’t know shit.” Jensen retorts.

 

Chris holds his hands up in surrender. “I’ll let you be.”

 

After the ribbing between each of them they finish their pizza and get back to finishing the truck and the guys all leave. Jensen and Jared stand in the living room looking at the boxes sitting there and trying to figure out where all the stuff was going to go. Jared has all his, and the kid’s movies and books and not enough room for all the shelving.

 

“You know we can go through the movies and see which ones are duplicates and get rid of them and then we can get larger book shelves so the books will all fit. What we can’t get put up now can wait in the spare bedroom until next weekend and we can buy shelving or we can put the kids’ books in their rooms.” Jensen suggests.

 

“This is one great big pain in the ass.” Jared huffs.

 

“It could be worse.” Jensen says teasing.

 

“How could it be worse?” Jared asks.

 

“We could have the kids running around under foot and hollering for us to help them and we would get nothing done.” Jensen tells him.

 

“Yeah, your right, but we need to get as much done tonight and tomorrow before we go pick them up, because I start work Monday. And you have to be ready to take care of them. That means bathes and supper and everything.” Jared smiles at him.

 

“You don’t go to work until like eight. You can still take care of supper.” Jensen quips back.

 

“I know but you will have to cook too. I’m not doing it all the time.” Jared informs him. “We will figure out a routine, so that we share the household chores.” Jared nods his head.

 

“Yeah we will figure it out.” Jensen walks over to Jared and pulls him into his arms.

 

“You know if we do this now we aren’t going to get anything done.” Jared looks down into Jensen’s eyes.

 

“Who said I wanted anything. I just wanted to let you know that I am really glad you decided to do this and that you came back here. To me.” Jensen looks back into his eyes.

 

“I’m glad, too. I guess fate had different plans for how our lives were supposed to go.” Jared tells him.

 

Jensen reaches up and cups Jared’s jaw, pulling his face down so he can kiss him. Jared kisses him back and steps in closer to deepen the kiss.

 

After they break the kiss Jensen clears his throat and smiles, “Yeah I think if we are going to get anything done we need to not do a lot of that right now.”

 

“We can pick that up again later.” Jared smiles sweetly at him.

 

“I’m going to go over there.” Jensen steps back, walking towards the boxes by the TV, and proceeds to take out the movies.

 

“I’m going to head upstairs and get the clothes unpacked so the kids will be able to find their pj’s tomorrow night. What do you want to do about supper?” Jared asks.

 

“Maybe we can go grab a burger or something.” Jensen looks back over his shoulder at Jared.

 

“Is O’Flannery’s still open?” Jared asks.

 

“Yes and they have this new burger that has this sauce on it. It is like the best damn burger I’ve had.” Jensen is almost drooling.

 

“Well we had better get this started.” Jared turns and walks out of the room.

 

Three hours later.

 

Jensen walks into Bray’s bedroom and sets down a large box of books. “You know those two have as bout as many books as you do.”

 

“Yes that’s one of the things they like is for me to read to them.” Jared steps out of the closet.

 

“I don’t know but I think these one’s are all Bray’s. You will have to check though.” Jensen pushes the box over by the wall. “I will bring up one of the small bookcases.”

 

Jared turns back around with an armful of clothes. Jensen is already gone. He shrugs and goes back into the closet.

 

“You know maybe we should leave these for the kids to put up.” Jensen comes back in.

 

“Jesus, Jensen, scare the shit out of me.” Jared jumps.

 

“Oh sorry. You knew I was coming back.” Jensen tells him.

 

“I know that but I didn’t know it was going to be so soon.” Jared peeks around the closet door.

 

“What do you say we go to O’Flannery’s now?” Jensen asks.

 

Jared looks at his watch, “It’s only been like three hours since we started.”

 

“Yeah but I’m hungry.” Jensen whines.

 

“Let me hang these up.” Jared motions to the clothes in his arms.

 

“Did you get Anna’s room done?” Jensen asks.

 

“Everything is put up in there except for like the books you separated.” Jared nods his head.

 

“We can do the beds when we get back. And are we going to use your bed or is the one in the bedroom okay?” Jensen asks.

 

“We can just use the bed there. It is our old bed right?” Jared looks back at him.

 

“Yes I took the stuff out of the guest bedroom when I went to the apartment. It’s still the same. I’ll go one day this week and get your old stuff out of the storage unit.” Jensen smiles at him.

 

“You packed up all of my stuff.” Jared asks him.

 

“Yes I was trying to use it to get you to come see me. But it didn’t work.” Jensen frowns.

 

“It’s okay. I was avoiding.” Jared smiles at him.

 

“We are good on that now.” Jensen walks over to the closet and wraps his arms around Jared resting his head on his shoulder.

 

“You know what would be cool?” Jared asks.

 

“What?” Jensen asks.

 

“That if we could snap our fingers and this would all take care of itself.” Jared laughs.

 

“That would be a miracle.” Jensen laughs, too.

 

“All done for now. Ready to go eat?” Jared asks.

 

“Yes I’m starving.” Jensen lets go of Jared so he can turn around.

 

Jared wraps his arms around Jensen and kisses him slowly. “You remember that one chick that used to work there?”

 

“The red head.” Jensen asks.

 

“Yes her. Does she still work there?” Jared asks.

 

“Yes, Danni still works there.” Jensen smiles at him.

 

“Oh God I hope she doesn’t remember me.” Jared whines.

 

“You know you love her.” Jensen laughs at him.

 

“Oh please, she was always more into you.” Jared quips back.

 

“Yeah but I’ve caught her looking you up and down before.” Jensen teases.

 

“She knows we are married.” Jared complains.

 

“Yes she does and it isn’t against the law to look.” Jensen stares down Jared body when he steps back.

 

Jared reaches over and smacks Jensen up beside the head. “You know what I mean.”

 

“Come on let’s go.” Jensen grabs Jared’s hand to pulls him along.

 


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

 

The drive to the restaurant was reasonably quiet, but it was an easy silence. O’Flannery’s had been remodeled in the time Jared had been gone. 

“Damn this has changed.” Jared remarks as they enter the restaurant. 

“Yeah they had a remodel about two years ago. They increased the seating, made a patio out back and added the bar.” Jensen points to the new additions.

Jared lets out a low whistle. “Damn stepping up in the world.”

“It didn’t change the atmosphere though. It’s still really laid back.” Jensen waves to Danni.

Danni walks up to the boys and smiles, “Oh my God, I haven’t seen you in forever. Are you back in town?” 

“Yeah, for good.” Jared smiles at her then looks over a Jensen.

“Well that’s good. Jen kind of dropped off the grid for a while after you disappeared, had me kind of worried.” Danni pats Jensen on the shoulder.

“Nothing big, it’s all good now.” Jensen nods his head.

“Come on I’ll get you seated. What do you want to drink?” Danni says as the boys sit down.

“I will just have a root beer.” Jared looks over at Jensen.

“Just give me a beer.” Jensen smiles at Jared.

“Okay, I’ll be back to get your food order.” Danni walks behind the counter and Jared looks at Jensen.

“So what is the name of the burger with the sauce?” Jared asks.

“It is number 14. It’s Angus, cheddar, bacon and this sauce. It is like the shit.” Jensen smiles.

“Do you get to pick sides or does it come with a certain item?” Jared asks.

Danni stops by long enough to set their drinks down.

“It comes with fries but you can get what you want.” Jensen looks down at his menu.

“Well I want a salad but the fries sound good too.” Jared closes his menu and picks up his drink.

Danni walks up to the table, “Are you boys ready?”

“Yes we would like two number 14 and Jared wants a salad, too.” Jensen looks up at her.

“Okay, would you like the chef, house or Cobb salad and what kind of dressing?” Danni asks Jared.

“I would like the cobb salad with red French.” Jared tells her.

“Okey, dokey. Are you guys good on your drinks?” Danni asks them.

Jensen looks at Jared glass and then down at his bottle, “We should be good until our food comes out.”

“It will be out in a little bit. I will bring your salad out in just a few.” Danni turns around and leaves them to each other.

Danni goes into the kitchen putting the ticket for Jared and Jensen’s food up. 

Chelsea walks up to Danni and taps her on the shoulder to get her attention, “Who is that with Jensen?”

“That is his estranged husband. That has been gone for like almost five years. I didn’t think he would ever be back, but I guess I was wrong.” Danni turns and looks at Chelsea.

“He’s cute. Where do you think he’s been at?” Chelsea asks.

“I have no clue. They used to be in here all the time and then they just stopped. Then Jensen came in one day looking really bad and he was alone. I had asked him where Jared was and he just said he’s gone. He was in a bad shape. Chris and Steve came in after that and I didn’t learn anymore.” Danni puts the last topping on the salad and pours a cup of red French dressing.

“Well maybe they worked their stuff out and reconciled.” Chelsea says walking back over to the silverware she was wrapping.

“Yeah maybe.” Danni mumbles under her breath. She pastes a smile on her face and walks back out to give Jared his salad.

“Thanks, Danni. This looks great.” Jared smiles up at her.

“I hope you like it Jared. The food is still great here.” Danni pats his shoulder and walks back into the kitchen.

“She seems to be about the same as she used to be. I can’t believe she still works here.” Jared tells Jensen as he digs into his salad.

“Yeah she doesn’t want to leave Jim hanging. Hey have you told Chad that you were moving back into the house. You know he will be pissed if he finds out and you didn’t tell him yourself.” Jensen looks at Jared.

“No I’ll call him when we go back to the house. He will probably want to get together soon.” Jared looks back down at his salad. “He wasn’t too happy with me when I took off.”

“Well maybe you can get back on his good side and be able to straighten things out with him too.” Jensen takes a draw from his beer.

“I hope so. He was my friend and not having him was hard.” Jared tells Jensen. “It was almost as bad as not having you in my life.”

“We are fixing us and things are going to change for all of us.” Jensen spins his bottle around on the table top.

“I know it just feels weird to be here after such a long time being away. Seeing people I haven’t seen in a long time.” Jared looks back toward the kitchen where Danni was coming out with their food.

“Okay boys. Here are two number 14’s and a bottle of ketchup for the fries.” Danni lays the plates out in front of them.

“Thanks, Danni. Tell Jim this looks great.” Jensen looks from his plate to her.

“It smells good too.” Jared looks at Jensen.

“I will let him know that you said so.” Danni smiles and leaves them to their food.

“You do know that we need to stop by the store for food before we go home.” Jensen takes a bite of his sandwich and moans.

“Not just food but other stuff too.” Jared looks at Jensen from under his lashes.

“Oh I’m not forgetting about the other stuff. I have a few things from my apartment but not much.” Jensen tells him around the mouthful he has.

“That’s gross dude.” Jared snickers at him.

“This is an awesome sandwich.” Jensen says after he swallows.

“It is a good sandwich. The fries still would be better if I had vinegar.” Jared pops some fries into his mouth.

“Now that’s gross.” Jensen tells him.

“Jim’s fries have always reminded me of fair fries.” Jared replies.

“Yeah, but vinegar.” Jensen scrunches up his face.

“Hey I like it. It doesn’t mean you have to eat them that way.” Jared sticks his tongue out at Jensen.

“You would so have to brush your teeth before I would kiss you.” Jensen snickers.

“Well I don’t have any vinegar. Just ketchup.” Jared drags a French fry through his ketchup and puts it in his mouth.

“Oh Jim found a new recipe for peach cobbler and it is even better than it used to be. And the ice cream is homemade now. I am so having dessert.” Jensen points at Jared.

“Damn talk about getting all excited about food.” Jared laughs at him.

“Hey I haven’t had a good meal with a person I love in a long time. Chris and Steve are not you by a long shot.” Jensen takes another bite of his sandwich.

“Good to know I couldn’t be replaced with your friends.” Jared smiles at him.

“Never replaced but I did try to live without you and deal.” Jensen tells him.

“It wasn’t easy for me either. I remember one day Megan went with me to do some baby shopping and we saw Mackenzie at the store she was just so hateful. I was just so worried that she was going to see my belly and tell you. Even though I knew she never talked to you. I was sure that she was going to find out and tell you just out of spite. I was so scared.” Jared smiles sadly at Jensen. 

“It’s just as bad my mother knew about the twins and she never said anything to shove it in my face. Just watched and waited for me to find you then try and get between us.” Jensen sneers.

“Yes but she doesn’t have any influence over me. Our kids never have to have any association with her ever.” Jared sternly tells Jensen.

“You know my dad has good days, maybe we should see after we get settled going to see him and then introducing the kids. I bet it would make him feel better. Would you go do that with me?” Jensen asks him.

“Yes, Jen I will go visit your dad with you. And the kids will probably make him feel better. Have you ever tried to see if you could get him moved to another facility that you would have better access to him?” Jared asks.

“I never tried I was afraid mother would use that to keep him away from me for good. I can’t lose him. Jared he was the only person who ever tried to stand up for me except Chris. And she treats him like shit. She only goes to see him when she wants to gloat. You know he refuses to talk to her. He talks to the staff, me and I guess Josh stops by now and again; he talks to him too.” Jensen stops. “You know maybe Josh isn’t like Mac and my mom because he never treated me bad.”

“You know Jensen maybe you should talk to Josh and see how he feels.” Jared suggests.

“No I want to run it by dad first.” Jensen shakes his head.

“I think we should get him moved to a different facility too. Into one that doesn’t have any of her influence in his care. You know maybe if he is in a different environment he would do better.” Jared tells Jensen.

“Yeah maybe in a little while I will be able to try and fix some of my mother’s crap.” Jensen swallows the last of his beer and waves the bottle at Danni and she looks over at Jared pop before bring a beer and a new root beer with her.

“So Danni I would really like to order a peach cobbler and ice cream. Jared do you want one?” Jensen raises an eyebrow at him.

“Danni please tell me you still serve that fudge brownie sundae?” Jared gives her his best puppy eyes.

“Yes, Jared we still have it. Do you want one?” Danni gives a small laugh.

“Yes please. I would love one.” Jared smiles at her.

“So that would be one peach cobbler with ice cream and then a fudge brownie sundae.” Danni repeats back to them.

“Yes please.” Jared almost whines.

“God you sound like you are about to cry.” Danni laughs at him.

“I’m not that bad.” Jared replies.

“Okay if you say so.” Danni says over her shoulder as she walks away.

“You are such a baby.” Jensen laughs at him.

“Well it’s the best damn brownie sundae I have ever had. Couldn’t find any that tasted like Jim’s and believe me I tried. Hell I couldn’t even make them myself.” Jared pouts.

“Oh, my God. You sound like a diva.” Jensen laughs at him. 

“Hey I am not a girl.” Jared retorts.

At that moment Danni comes back, “What’s wrong with girls?”

“Nothing, Jen just called me a diva.” Jared says sadly.

“Oh quit. I was just teasing.” Jensen says.

“I know I was just messing with you.” Jared laughs.

“I know.” Jensen takes a big forkful of his peach cobbler followed by ice cream. His cheeks look like he wouldn’t be able fit anything else in his mouth. He gives a little shutter at the taste of the dessert.

“You are teasing me about my brownie but it looks to that you have the same love for your cobbler.” Jared shakes his head.

“Your just jealous because mine is better.” Jensen tells him.

“How am I supposed to know that I’ve never tasted it?” Jared asks.

“Because I said it was better.” Jensen informs him.

“Okay I will just have to take your word for I guess. Unless you want to maybe share a small taste.” Jared tries.

Jensen looks up at Jared and then down at his plate and huffs out a snicker, “One small bite to try it but that is it.”

“You act like I’m going to eat it all.” Jared opens his mouth to take the offered bite from Jensen. He chews it slowly moving it around in his mouth and then swallows it. 

“And?” Jensen asks him.

“Okay, I guess you are right it is pretty damn good, but I still like my brownie.” Jared agrees with Jensen but still is stuck on his own liked dessert.

“You two still act like children. I guess much hasn’t changed in the last few years have they?” Danni asks.

“Well I guess you’re going to find out sooner or later. When I left before it was because I was pregnant and I was afraid of how Jensen was going to react so I left. We have a set of almost four year old twins, Annabella Maria and Brayden Ross.” Jared looks up at Danni through his bang.

“Damn, I would have never suspected that.” Danni says shocked.

“Danni they are great. I never thought I would feel like this about any kids but I don’t think I can live without them now that I have met them.” Jensen smiles at her. 

“I am glad you finally got to meet them.” Danni smiles at the two men. She never thought that Jared would take off like that. But she could understand why, she would be scared if she had to fess up to something like that. “Let me know when you’re ready and I will ring you out. Enjoy your desserts.” Danni says.

Jared and Jensen finish their desserts and Jim comes out to talk to them both when there was a lull in orders and he lets Jared know that he’s glad he back in town and to bring those kids to the restaurant he would give them a special treat. They pay for their meal and give Danni her tip and head to the store.

“So are we buying a lot or are we doing it for just this week?” Jensen asks Jared when they walk in the store.

“Let’s just get it for this week and when I get paid Friday I will go shopping again. Does Vicki’s preschool supply lunch or do we need to pack them lunch’s?” Jared asks.

“I don’t know for sure. Let me call Misha.” Jensen pulls his phone out and calls him.

“Hello you rang.” Misha answers.

“Yes I did. Question does the daycare provide lunch or do we need to pack the kids things to eat?” Jensen asks.

“Well Jensen. The kids get one meal one snack and a nap every day. And Vicki makes sure that they learn.” Misha says matter of factly.

“Don’t be a smart ass Misha. I just need to know because we are buying groceries.” Jensen tells his friend.

“I am not being a smart ass I am just telling you what Vicki does.” Misha sighs.

“Misha, nevermind.” Jensen says, “I will talk to you later. Bye.” 

“Bye, Jensen see you Monday.” Misha hangs up.

“Okay Vicki supplies lunch, snack and a nap. And apparently she teaches them.” Jensen shakes his head.

“Well I would assume so it is preschool.” Jared looks back at him and shrugs his shoulders.

“Yeah but Misha was trying to be a smart ass.” Jensen tells him.

“Well it is Misha. What should we have for tomorrow night’s supper?” Jared asks.

“I don’t care. Whatever you want to fix will be fine by me.” Jensen replies.

“Even if it’s healthy?” Jared quips.

“Shut up. Yes I will eat it.” Jensen looks at him.

“Okay just don’t want you to end up wasting away because of my cooking.” Jared looks over at him.

“Well beings that I mostly live off of diner, bar and microwave food I think your cooking will be a refreshing change of venue.” Jensen laughs at Jared face when he tells him this.

“Are you sure you are okay?” Jared reaches over to touch his forehead.

“Get off of me there is nothing wrong with me.” Jensen pulls away from Jared hand.

“Okay, just checking to make sure, you never eat healthy.” Jared stops at the can food to grab vegetables. Jensen scrunches up his nose when Jared puts peas in the cart.

“Those are gross. I’m not eating them.” Jensen points at the cans.

“See what did I say. They are just peas, Jensen.” Jared inhales and shakes his head.

“But they are squishy and the shell isn’t chewable.” Jensen cringes.

“I can’t believe you. Well don’t eat them if I fix them.” Jared says as if it is common knowledge.

“Yeah but the kids won’t eat them if I don’t eat them.” Jensen says right back.

“The kids love peas so I don’t think it will matter if you don’t eat them.” Jared retorts. “But corn is a totally different story.”

“I will eat corn.” Jensen says.

“Come on let’s shop.” Jared pushes the cart down the aisle.

“Hey, how about some of this stuff?” Jensen stops in front of the Manwich.

“Jensen that is not something that I feed the kids.” Jared makes a face of disgusting face.

“Why it’s sloppy joe, it’s good.” Jensen says.

“I can barely get them to eat spaghetti some times. That would be like getting them to eat spinach.” Jared tries to connect the two together.

“I bet you if I can’t get them to eat Manwich I will make supper for a week and if I can you do it for a week.” Jensen holds out his hand.

“Okay, deal.” Jared takes a hold of Jensen’s hand.

“I will make it when they get home tomorrow night.” Jensen says.

They continue to shop until they get to the condoms and they stand there and look at each other. “So…” Jensen says.

“What?” Jared asks.

“What ones should we get?” Jensen asks back.

“I don’t know they are going to be on your dick not mine.” Jared tells him.

“Oh you’re a lot of help.” Jensen retorts.

“Well get anything except those spermicide ones they make me itch, remember.” Jared nods his head.

“Shit I remember that.” Jensen laughs and the woman walking behind him gives him a funny look.

“It wasn’t funny. It felt like my ass was on fire.” Jared winces.

“Okay no spermicide. Well let’s see. Eeny, meeny, miny, mo …” Jensen points from one box to another.

“Oh, will you just grab a box and come on.” Jared starts to walk away after grabbing some lube.

“Hey come on. This is for your benefit.” Jensen hollers at him.

“Just grab the damn Trojans, Jen and come on.” Jared says back over his shoulder.

Jensen grabs to of the 18-packs and throws them in the cart. Jared looks over at him and furrows his eyebrows, “What are we going to have a sex marathon.”

“What those will last a while and they will be used before they expire. I hope.” Jensen blushes.

Jared looks at him like he was out of his mind.

“What! If we have sex at least once a day for a month we will have six left and if we do it more than once a night when your home we won’t run out anytime soon.” Jensen defends his two boxes of condoms.

“Do you really think we are going to have that much time to have sex? There is going to be two almost four year olds in the house and I am working the night shift.” Jared looks at Jensen.

“Well there is the shower, your nights off and I can come home on lunch break. Oh also I can come home early before they get home from preschool.” Jensen smiles broadly. 

Jared narrows his eyes on him.

“What, I want to make up for lost time.” Jensen laughs.

“We will see how it goes. If we can fit in that much sex in on a regular basis we can get stock in Trojan.” Jared eyes twinkle when he looks back at Jensen.

“Okay can we go home and use a couple of those now.” Jensen asks.

“Why is all this talking about condoms making you horny, Jen?” Jared laughs.

“Maybe just a little bit. We need to put all the stuff that needs to go in the fridge and freezer separate so we can just toss them in there and head up stairs.” Jensen looks in the cart.

Jared pushes the cart up to the register and Jensen asks the cashier if she could please separate the refrigerated and frozen items from everything else with a pretty please on top.

She smiles and laughs at him and he gives her a big smile back. She then goes on to ring everything up and then when she gets to the lube and condoms and asks him if he is eager much. Jensen goes beet red and Jared almost swallows his tongue and then bust a gut from laughing so hard.

“Laugh it up. See who’s going to be begging me later.” Jensen tells Jared as they make it to the car.

“Oh you should have seen your face when she asked you that it was priceless. Like one of those commercials for the credit card… Condoms 14.50… Lube 8.95… Separating the groceries… and asking customer if he was eager… Priceless.” Jared laughs again.

“Har,har. Now shut up and get in the car, so we can go home.” Jensen shuts the trunk. “And we are getting this all in the house in one trip.”

The ride home is quite but not uncomfortable. Maybe there was just an edge of sexual tension but not bad. When they pulled into the garage Jensen got the house open while Jared started to gather bags out of the trunk. He got as many as he could handle in one go. Jensen grabbed the rest and then Jared makes sure that all the fridge and freezer stuff was put away and then as soon as Jared shut the door to said fridge he had his back pushed up against it. 

“So you think it was funny for the cashier to ask me if I was eager much, huh? We let’s just see who is over eager by the time I am done with you.” Jensen latches on to Jared necks and kisses and sucks at it.

Jared stands with his back pressed against the fridge with Jensen legs shoved between his and just adding enough pressure to let him know it was there but no more. “Jen, this isn’t far. It was funny you… k-k-know.”

“Was it Jay? I mean I think this right here is fun but not funny. By the time I am done you are going to be so eager to just lay there and soak up everything I do and just want so much more. I will have you begging in no time.” Jensen latches on to Jared’s mouth and tongue fucks him until they can’t breathe and have to pull away.

“Jensen. I think we should find that bag and head upstairs.” Jared whines.

“Are you sure, because I could do this for a little while longer.” Jensen sucks on Jared collarbone.

“Yeah I really think we should both be comfortable for this and horizontal.” Jared nods his head.

“Really are you feeling eager already?” Jensen looks into his eyes that are basically black orbs with slivers of color around them.

“Maybe just a lit-t-tlle.” Jared squeaks out.

“Oh well then come on then. Oh yeah and here are my condoms and the lube.” Jensen snickers at him. If he knew anything he knew where that bag got too.

“Hey I grabbed the lube while you were debating condoms.” Jared lets him know.

“Yeah and possession is 9/10ths of the law.” Jensen smacks Jared’s ass as he heads up the stairs.

“Owww, what was that for?” Jared says rubbing his ass cheek.

“Incentive.” Jensen laughs.

As soon as they hit the upstairs hallway they are stripping out of their clothes and manhandling each other onto the bed. Jensen grabs ahold of Jared hair and pulls his head back so he can attack the spot just under his ear. And Jared rubs his leg across Jensen’s crotch while pinching and rubbing at his nipples. Jensen isn’t the only one who can play dirty. It might have been awhile but he still knows how to make his husband shutter as well.

Jensen pulls back from Jared’s neck, “Jared keep doing that and there won’t be anybody being eager for anything.”

“What Jen,” Jared rubs his leg up against Jensen cock, “this or” he scratches his nails over Jensen’s nipples, “that.”

Jensen shutters before saying, “Either.”

“Well you want to play dirty, so can I.” Jared tells him.

“No I just want to have sex and have it with you, not just blow my load on your leg.” Jensen says as he brings his lips down over Jared’s. He brushes his tongue over Jared’s lips and asks for entrance. Jared opens his mouth and allows Jensen in. They kiss until they can’t anymore. 

“Shit, Jen.” Jared breathes hard.

“Yeah, I know. Damn.” Jensen slides down Jared’s body leaving a trail of nips and kisses down his torso. Liquid fire shoots through Jared as his husband hits all the spots that start him to wither. And he hasn’t forgotten a damn one of them in almost five years. Jensen had stopped at his pulse point and sucked a new bruise to go along with the one from last night. Trailing down to lavish each of his dusty nipples with long kisses and teases, going further down to fuck his tongue in and out of his navel, bypassing his heavy erection to latch onto his inner thigh just past his balls and down lower to just beside his knee; going to the other side, coming back up the other side until he reaches his balls and draws first one then the other into his mouth, pulling off them with a pop as they slip from his mouth. Drawing his tongue from root to tip of the rock hard erection in front of him, while listening to his husband whither and swear and draw in stuttering breathes as he tries not to beg and show how eager he is for things to go so much farther. Jensen kisses the head of Jared’s cock and makes his way back to Jared’s lips where he ravishes them, making sure to give just enough space between them that Jared can’t get any needed friction from his body. Not to say he wouldn’t love to feel some friction on his own hard erection, but if he wants Jared to be wanting and begging in his eagerness, he will have to hold off just as well. 

Jared latches onto his husband face when he comes back up and holds him there where he can control things for just a few minutes until he has to break the kiss. When he pulls away he lets his husband know how much he has missed him, “Jen you don’t know how much I have missed doing this with you. I love you so much and I have missed you.”

“I know Jay. I barely made it through this and I am so happy to have you and the kids here with me. I never want to lose you or them ever.” Jensen tells him dropping back down to kiss Jared again. When he pulls back he grabs the lube and one of the condoms from the box. He pours a generous amount onto his hand and slides back down Jared’s body to settle between his spread legs. He kisses the head of Jared’s cock and rubs his finger over his opening.

“Jennnn, come on don’t tease.” Jared whines.

“I’m not teasing; I will get you there.” Jensen says as he slides the first finger in slowly, he takes the head of Jared cock into his mouth just slightly sucking on it as he thrusts his finger in and out of Jared. 

“Oh, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen.” Jared repeats his name as he adds his second finger and starts to stretch them apart, scissoring Jared open. Jared is now thrusts back onto Jensen’s fingers as they slide back and forth into him. Jensen swallows Jared done as he adds his third finger and hits his prostate. Jared tries to lift up into his mouth as pleasure runs through his body.

“Jen you are gonna make me come if you don’t stop now.” Jared says patting at his head with soft brushes of his hand.

Jensen pulls off Jared with a pop. “That’s what I want you to do. I want you all relaxed for the main event and getting ready to blow again when I’m ready.” Jared full body shivers at the hoarse sound of Jensen voice and his words.

Jensen drops down and takes Jared back into his mouth as he continues to stretch Jared and suck on his hot flesh. He only needs three more brushes over Jared’s prostate before he is screaming Jensen’s name and shooting into the back of his throat. Jensen takes all that Jared offers and cleans all the come off him before pulling off. 

“Are you ready for the main event?” Jensen smiles.

“More then you could imagine, Jen.” Jared says breathlessly.

Jensen reaches for the condom and opens it with his teeth, sliding it slowly over his painfully hard cock and removes his fingers with on more rub over Jared’s prostate, making him jerk and whimper, and rubbing his lubed hand over himself gently, drawing in a slow breath, grabbing Jared’s legs and positioning them over his shoulders as he slides closer and positions himself at Jared’s opening, He looks up at Jared and asks, “Are you ready?” 

“I’ve just been waiting on you.” Jared lazily smiles up at him.

“Smart ass.” Jensen says as he slaps his ass. He grabs ahold of himself and sets the head of his cock on the one spot he has wanted ever since everyone left earlier. He slowly pushes into the delectable heat of Jared, stopping right after he breeched the tight muscle. 

“Jen, if you don’t do something soon I am going to grab you and do it myself.” Jared digs his heels into Jensen’s shoulders.

“Okay, I didn’t want to hurt you.” Jensen slides slowly into Jared and starts a steady pace after he bottoms out on the second slide in. 

“Fuck Jen. You feel so good filling me up with your cock. I have missed you so much and I love you.” Jared moans and jerks as Jensen changes his thrusts and drops Jared legs down to his waist so he can take Jared’s mouth for long kisses. They moan into each other’s mouths as they speed up their motions. Jensen hits Jared prostate with every thrusts in and he brings his hand into take Jared cock and bring him to completion as he feels his orgasm creep closer and closer with each thrust. 

Jared pulls back from the kissing as Jen wraps his cock in his hand, arching his back off the bed and digging his heels into Jensen’s lower back and ass. “Oh Jen.” 

“I know babe, I will take care of you. Come for me, Jay. Let me feel you tighten around me. You feel so good.” Jensen continues to move his hand up and down Jared’s shaft.

“Jen!” Jared shouts as he explodes across Jensen’s hand and both of their stomachs and chests. He continues to work him through the orgasm until his thrusts become erratic and he releasing into the warmth of Jared’s fluttering channel that is gripping him just right. 

“Shit, Jay. You feel so damn good. I almost forgot how good we are together it’s been so damn long.” Jensen says as he collapses down onto Jared. Jared wraps his arms around Jensen holding him tighter to his body wanting to have Jensen closer to him.

“I love you, Jen. I am so sorry for everything that has happened between us and I hope we can be a proper family and be here for each other.” Jared says kissing Jensen’s forehead and pressing kissed across his cheekbone until he reaches his mouth.

Pulling back from the loving kisses, Jensen looks into Jared’s eyes and says, “Jay I have always wanted you to be with me and I never realized how much until you were gone and to find you know with the added bonus of the twins has made my life so much better than it has ever been.” As they lay there they both reposition themselves and Jensen removes the condom and pitches into the trash. They know they should get up and clean themselves off before they fall to sleep but they are both exhausted. It has been one very long day.


	35. Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

 

When Sherry dropped the kids off the next afternoon, she looked from Jared to Jensen with a sharp look in her eye and a bright smile on her lips.

“What are you staring at Momma?” Jared asks innocently.

“I don’t know maybe the purple marks that adorn your neck and the one’s on Jensen’s neck too. I take it that you got settles in just fine last night.” Sherry takes a sip of her coffee.

“Momma, please I don’t want the kids walking in and hearing this conversation.” Jared ducks his head down so his bangs cover his face.

“Well Jensen did your night go well for you.” Sherry turns to the other man in the kitchen.

At that moment, the twins race down the stairs into the kitchen. They run over to Jared and jump in place. “Papa are our rooms all ours? I don’t have to share with Anna no more?” Bray asks cheerfully.

“Yes, Bray your rooms belong to each of you. No more sharing. But I do expect you to still play nicely with each other and to share your toys still.” Jared looks from Bray to Anna.

“Daddy, do we have to stay in our rooms by ourselves all the time?” Anna looks at Jensen from under her eyelashes. 

Jensen walks over and kneels down to her level, “No, Anna you do not have to stay in your room all by yourself, Honey. I know you are both used to staying in the same room together. I just thought it would be nice for you to have your own space.”

“Okay I just don’t want to be all alone.” Anna looks from each face until her eyes fall back on Jensen’s.

“Anna, just because you have your own room doesn’t mean you have to stay there all the time. I’m sure Bray will let you come into his room if you get lonely. And there is always you’re Papa and I if you need us.” Jensen pulls Anna closer to him.

“Anna I don’t think your Papa and Daddy meant for you to feel alone just for you to have your own space baby. Sometimes it feels good to get away from everyone else for a little bit.” Sherry tells her worried granddaughter.

“Like when grampa goes out into the garage and tells us he’ll be back in in a bit.” Bray looks up at Sherry.

“Yes, that’s his way of saying he needs a little bit of time to himself.” Sherry rubs her hand through his hair.

“Okay besides having separate rooms, do you each like your rooms?” Jared asks as he looks at the twins.

“I like my room.” Bray nods his head.

“I like my room, but I think I will miss being with Bray.” Anna says sadly.

“Anna come here, baby.” Jared waves her over to him. She comes over and he picks her up onto his lap. “You do know that I would never intentionally separate you from your brother to harm you?”

“Yes, but I’se so used to him being right there and I’m scared; I never had a room all myself.” Anna looks close to tears as she looks at her Papa.

“Oh, Anna. Bray is right across the hall from you and Daddy and I are right down the hall.” Jared tells her.

“But you gonna be working and not be home.” Anna whimpers.

“Yes, but I will be here every night; Daddy will be here while I am at work.” Jared reassures her.

“And I can sit with you until you are comfortable and fall asleep.” Jensen smiles at her.

“And I don’t start work until Tuesday. I will be here tonight and tomorrow.” Jared pats her back. “Are you okay now?”

“I guess I’ll be okay.” Anna slides off Jared’s lap and asks Bray to come play with her. They leave the adults in the kitchen looking at them as they leave.

“She will be fine she just needs time to adjust.” Sherry tells the boys as they look at each other.

“I hope so. I can’t start this job and need to come home because she has a meltdown.” Jared looks at Jensen.

“We will be fine. I can handle it. Maybe before you start your night you can call and talk to them.” Jensen suggests.

“We will see how things go.” Jared looks at him blowing out a huff.

“So you boys are going to continue to see Loretta right?” Sherry asks.

“Yes we are still going to see Loretta.” Jensen nods his head.

“She actually has us going in for separate sessions this week.” Jared adds.

“She good at what she does, just listen to her and take her advice.” Sherry says standing and putting her cup in the sink. “I’m going to say bye to the kids and head home.” Before she leaves the room she hugs Jensen and Jared kissing them both on the forehead.

“Bye, Momma. I love you and thanks for keeping the kids for another night.” Jared says kissing her cheek.

“Thank you Sherry.” Jensen kisses her cheek also.

“You’re welcome boys. I will see you both later.” Sherry leaves them in the kitchen while she goes to see the kids before she leaves.

“Well I think we are going to have our hands full with Anna.” Jared says to Jensen.

“I think it will just take her a couple of days to get used to the change and everything will be fine. It’s a big change.” Jensen says as he comes over to sit at the table.

“I hope so.” Jared groans. He still hadn’t fully adjusted to the move to Houston and now he had to pick up and come back to Austin.

“Well I am going to start my Manwich and French fries. And you are going to be cooking for a week so better plan your meals.” Jensen stands walking to the fridge.

“Oh I am so glad you think you will win them over so easily.” Jared chuckles.

“You never know they might just think it is the best thing since pizza.” Jensen sets the hamburger in the pan on the stove; turning the oven on to preheat. “And it has a full serving of vegetables.”

“I hope for your sake your right.” Jared says walking over to pick the can up to read the label. He sets the can back on the counter, turning to Jensen, “I am going to go take a quick shower. I’ll be done before supper is.”

“Okay, I’m good here.” Jensen smiles at him.

Jensen turns back to the stove. Jared leaves him to his cooking and goes up stairs. He looks in on the kids they are sitting in Anna’s room talking softly to each other. He doesn’t disturb them.

Jensen sits looking at the kids devouring their food; he turns his head to look at the dumbstruck look on Jared’s face. “I told you.”

“Shut up.” Jared says with no heat behind it.

“You are just a sore loser.” Jensen quips back.

“Yeah, maybe. I just didn’t see them liking it with the way they feel about spaghetti.” Jared shakes his head.

“This is different. They can make a mess with it and enjoy it.” Jensen tells him.

“Spaghetti can be messy.” Jared says.

Jensen points at the twins. They both have as much sloppy joe on their plates as they have in their faces.

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” Jared laughs softly.

“Daddy I want more.” Bray looks up at Jensen. “Please?”

“Can you clean up what’s on your plate first?” Jensen asks.

“Yes but I still want more.” Bray looks up at him.

“I’ll get you another one.” Jensen gets up to grab him another sandwich.

Between the four of them they finish the two pounds of Manwich Jensen had made. Then Jared takes Anna to the master bath and Jensen takes Bray to the hall bath to get them both in the tub and ready for bed. They sit and watch Kid’s TV for about an hour and then usher them up stairs and into bed. Jensen sits with Anna and reads to her until she falls asleep. Jared stands at the door and watches them because Bray told him he would be just fine without his Papa staying in the room.

Jensen looks up at him as he tries to untangle himself from Anna and smiles. He pulls the covers up to her shoulders and walks quietly over to the door, grabbing Jared’s hand as he pulls the door shut, but leaving it cracked open a little.

In the hall Jensen looks at Jared, “That wasn’t that bad. It only took her three stories to pass out.”

“Well Bray basically kicked me out, says he would be fine without his Papa. He’s all up for being in his own room.” Jared smiles as he looks at the doors to their rooms.

“I think they will both be fine. They have lived in each other’s pockets for so long they will be ready to have some space.” Jensen grabs Jared hand and pulls him down the hallway. They go back downstairs to sit and cuddle on the couch watching TV until around eleven then head to bed themselves. Jensen has to be up by six to be to work by eight.

Jared lays in bed listening to Jensen breathe, he’s having trouble going to sleep he should actually be up right now so he could get into some kind of schedule since he will spend most of the nights ahead awake. He rolls over and looks at Jensen, he hasn’t changed all that much in the past five years, he has a few more laugh lines around his mouth and a few more around his eyes, his freckles haven’t went anywhere and his lips are still as kissable as they were before and he really would like to kiss him right now. Jensen snores and Jared gives a small noiseless laugh. Jared reaches out and brushes his hand down his cheek, Jensen turns into the touch. Jared pulls the blanket up around his shoulders and scoots over towards Jensen slinging his arm over Jensen waist. The next thing he knows Jensen’s alarm is going off so he can go to work.

Jensen rolls over and looks at Jared who is squinting at him. “Are you getting up now or are you going to sleep?”

“I need to get up so I can get the twins to preschool. I need them to eat before they go. It starts at eight right?” Jared asks.

“Yes I was thinking for this first day we could drop them off together.” Jensen says as he sits up.

“That sounds good.” Jared says sitting up also rubbing his eyes.

“And if it would make it easier I can drop them off when you start work so you can get some sleep. That way you are not so tired.” Jensen tells him.

“That sounds good.” Jared stands and stretches.

“Shower with me?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah, but I need to fix the kids breakfast.” Jared looks back at him.

“I didn’t say come have sex with me in the shower.” Jensen snickers.

“I didn’t say you did. I just said I need to fix breakfast.” Jared retorts.

“Come on let’s go.” Jensen walks into the bathroom. He looks back over his shoulder as Jared laughs. “What?”

“Nothing.” Jared says smiling.

Jared and Jensen take a very uneventful shower and then Jared heads down to get breakfast started while Jensen gets dressed and gets the twins up. When they come downstairs Jared has pancakes ready and waiting for them. They are headed out the door by 7:15 and reach the preschool by 7:30. Jensen and Jared walk the kids into the school and are greeted by Vicki.

“Jared, Jensen and you two must be Brayden and Anna.” Vicki kneels down to be on their level. “Oh I can so tell that these two are your daddies. Come on I will show you where to store your pack backs and get you settle in the circle. Say bye to your Papa and Daddy. They will be here to pick you up after school.” Vicki smiles up at Jared and Jensen as she takes the twins hands into hers and they wave at them.

Jared and Jensen stand there with their mouths hanging open as the twins just walk away with Vicki. “Damn it seems like this is going to be easier than I thought.” Jared looks awestruck that the kids didn’t have any problems with just going with Vicki.

“Yeah. So I will see you tonight when I get home from work.” Jensen blows out a breath and walks out to his car with Jared. He turns to Jared and gives him a quick kiss before he leaves Jared to his own devices for the day.

Jared sits in his truck for about twenty minutes waiting to see if he gets a call from Vicki before he leaves. While he sat there he pondered on what he was going to do with his day. He could go back home and straighten up some more, but he really didn’t want to spend all day just hanging out at the house. Then he remembered he still hadn’t talked to Chad. So, he drives over to Chad’s hoping that he was home and didn’t have to be at work yet. Jared parks in Chad’s driveway and walks to the door and knocks.

“Jared.” Marybeth gasps and engulfs him in a hug. “Chad, Jared is here.” She pulls him into the house shutting the door.

“What are you doing here?” Chad asks.

“Well hello to you too. I have big news and I thought I should tell you in person.” Jared tells him.

“Well what is it?” Chad looks at him expectantly.

“Well Jensen knows about the pregnancy and the kids and we have moved back to Austin.” Jared looks down at him.

“What?” Chad bellows.

“Well, about three weeks ago Jensen’s company had a business conference at my hotel and Anna got sick. He was standing at the front desk when I got the message and it went from there. He’s really good with them and he loves them. So to make everything easiermeandthekidsmoved backintothehousewithhim.” Jared rushes to finish.

“You what?” Chad looks at him confused.

“We moved back into the house with Jensen.” Jared looks at Chad sheepishly.

“After all this time and your epic freak out and disappearing act you just go right back into the same thing you ran from. Jared what are you thinking?” Chad asks.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds.” Jared tells him.

“Chad why don’t you sit down and we can all talk about this like adults.” Marybeth comes into the living room with a tray of coffee cups.

“Yeah, okay.” Chad says with all the enthusiasm of a hurt child.

“So what are you thinking?” Chad stares at Jared.

“Well it seems as if Jensen has a lot of mommy issues and she has known about the twins since they were born. She came by the apartment and tried to get me to take the twins and run. But I told her where to get off. She’s the reason Jen had so many problems with having kids.” Jared looks at Marybeth then over at Chad.

“So what you have a couple of semi-okay weeks with him and all’s good?” Chad asks rolling his eyes.

“Well we are trying to work out our issues and we are seeing a counselor. We have had a couple of good weeks and the kids really like him. They get along.” Jared pleads with Chad to understand.

“So what you just trust that everything is going to be just hunky-dory and nothing bad will happen.” Chad stands up throwing his hands up in the air.

Chad understands why Jared would go back with Jensen because he always thought they would never leave each other but after Jared had such a problem when he became pregnant and left everybody and thing behind he never thought Jared would be back. Hell in the last four and a half years Chad has seen him a total of three times and they have been friends since elementary school. Jackass.

Chad stops and looks back at Jared, “So what you are coming here to let me know that you are back at Jensen’s so what we can try and be all buddy- buddy again? You do know that you left me high and dry too.”

“Yes Chad I know I left you high and dry too, but I want to make it right with you too. I know I wasn’t the best friend but I want every relationship I had in the past to be right again. I want my family back and that includes you and yours.” Jared stands up and walks to Chad engulfing him in a bear hug.

“God, I hate you.” Chad grumbles.

“No you love me.” Jared gives him a final squeeze before letting him go. “Now will you and your brood be willing to come to the house in a couple weeks, we are going to have a get together so everyone can meet the twins.”

“Just need to know when I have a company conference in a couple weeks.” Chad looks over at Marybeth.

“Well I guess since you’re here; might as well get ready for another god child.” Marybeth wraps her arms around Chad when she reaches him.

Jared’s eyebrows go up towards his hairline, “Again.”

“Hey the youngest is three.” Chad comes back with.

“Okay.” Jared says as he puts his hands up in surrender.

“Damn straight it’s okay.” Chad smacks him in the arm.

“I am going to head home and I guess get some stuff done around the house and probably take a nap. The new job is night shift so I have to get myself into a different sleep schedule.” Jared says as he hugs Chad again and kisses Marybeth’s cheek.

“It was nice seeing you again Jared. The kids will be happy that you are back in town.” Marybeth walks him to the door. “He might be hard on you, but he has missed you, a lot.”

“I know Marybeth. I made some really stupid mistakes and I am trying to make things right now.” Jared stops before he leaves.

Marybeth stands up on her tiptoes to leave Jared a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug. “I am happy you are back. Maybe you and him can go do something soon and he will leave me alone.”

Jared laughs and comments, “Has he been driving you crazy?”

“Stop talking about me.” Chad yells from the living room.

“You cannot imagine.” Marybeth smiles sweetly.

Jared leaves with a wave and a smile. When Jared got home he went into the kitchen and found a beer left from the other night and decided he had a couple of hours before the kids got home and he needed to take a nap so hopefully this would help him relax. He went into the living room and started picking up the toys the kids had brought down last night and returning them to their rooms and then decided to change into some sweats so he would be more comfortable. He flopped down on the bed. It felt weird to back in the room that Jensen and he had shared years ago. They had a lot of good times in this room and he had done some awful things in this room too. He had decided to stop taking his birth control in a moment of desperation on this very bed and to leave Jensen in this very room. Jared thought about the conception of the twins in this very room and every other time that Jensen and he had enjoyed each other in this very room. He could feel his cock start to fill from all the ideas that where coming to his mind. He takes a deep breath and walks to the closet to dig out his toy box. He was just going to take the edge off and help him relax. He looks down in the box and sees which one he wants to use. He grabs his glass dildo and walks back to the bed. He grabs the lube out of the drawer and coats his fingers, slowly working himself open. He stops after two fingers. He lubes up the dildo and slowly works it into him. He rolls his balls and brings his hand up to grip his cock and slowly works his way to the head. He starts to move the dildo in and out of his body as he strokes up and down his cock, breathing hard he feels himself getting closer to release. Unbeknownst to him Jensen had stood true to his word that he was coming home for lunch.

“Hey Jared are you up here?” Jensen hollers as he comes up the stairs.

“Oh shit.” Jared gasps.

“What are …?” Jensen stops as he walks into the room. “Never mind I think I can see what you’re doing.”

“Jensen what are you doing home? I wasn’t expecting you to be here.” Jared is lying on the bed holding his dick in one hand and the end of the dildo with the other, breathing heavily.

“I can see that.” Jensen smiles as he walks over to the bed stripping out of his clothes as he approaches. “Do you by chance need a hand with something?”

“If youuu would like then sure..ree.” Jared stammers as Jensen takes the dildo from his grasp and pulls it from his hole.

“I can so make this feel so much better.” Jensen says as he looks down at Jared clenching entrance and then back at the dildo.

“I don’t do this all the time. I was just…” Jared stops talking as Jensen takes his mouth with his.

Jensen strips his cocks as he positions himself on the bed and he is more than ready to help Jared with his problem. “You do realize that I love you and never want you to leave again.”

“Jen, I love you too but could you maybe get down to business, because I was almost done.” Jared whines.

“Okay, okay. What made you start doing this anyhow?” Jensen asks as he lines up and starts to thrust.

“Jen, not now.” Jared moans.

“Alright.” Jensen says with a groan.

“Oh God you feel so much better than that did. Fuck, harder Jen.” Jared throws his head back against the pillows.

“I would hope so.” Jensen smacks Jared hand away from his cock. He drags his nail across the crown and slides it across the slit, dipping it in the slight opening.

Jared bucks down with every thrust from Jensen and back up into his hand. He’s lost more in the sensation of this then when he was taking care of himself a few minutes ago.

“Jen, please speed up. Ahh, right there, yeah again.” Jared pleads.

Jensen quickens his thrust and changes the angle just slightly and has Jared almost coming up off the bed.

“Fuck me, you know how to use that big, hard cock in just the right way to make me feel so good. I could do this for ever. Jen, Jen, Jen.” Jared says his name over and over.

Jared tightens his legs around Jensen’s waist as Jensen drops down to bite at Jared’s pulse point. “Come for me Jared, I know that’s what you want. To come all over yourself and get all messy.”

“Shhhhit, Jens…en.” Jared groans out Jensen’s name as his body spasms, tightening around Jensen so nicely. Jensen gets another two, three, four thrusts into Jared’s body before his orgasm hits him hard, his thrusts’ becoming more erratic as Jared shakes under him. Jensen lies down on top of Jared as his release fills Jared. Jared’s arms come around him and hold him close to his own body.

“We are so going to have to stop meeting this way.” Jensen says snickering.

“What do you mean?” Jared asks him confused.

“Because we just had unprotected sex again and you aren’t on any birth control.” Jensen looks up at him.

“Fuck. Well I guess we are going to end up having another kid. Are you ready for another kid?” Jared looks back down at him.

“Yeah, I want to have the whole experience. I want to be here for the whole thing from beginning to end. All of it.” Jensen pulls himself up on his hands and gently pulls his softening cock from Jared.

Jared gasps as Jensen pulls out. “You know for someone who was so against having any not too long ago, you sure are up for it now.” Jared places a kiss on Jensen’s forehead.

“Yes but now I know how it feels to have these wonderful kids that I missed so much of their lives that I want to have it all from the beginning. And I want to share it all with you from the beginning.” Jensen crawls up and places kisses all over Jared’s face before taking his mouth.

“Jen, I want you to be aware that me being pregnant isn’t like a walk in the park. I’m hormonal and I puke and I whine. I’m going to get fat and my feet and back are going to hurt. And did I mention I get fat.” Jared whines.

“Well I guess if that is what is going to happen then we will just have to go shopping to get you clothes and I will have to rub your back and feet. And I will shower you with love and understanding.” Jensen kisses Jared temple.

“Yeah until I go completely he- bitch on you and you want to kill me. Or cry all day because someone said something that hurts my delicate pregnant feelings, or when I go from not being able to get enough sex to wanting to kill you if you touch me.” Jared laughs at Jensen when he makes a funny face at him.

“It can’t be that bad. I mean everyone has bad days.” Jensen says.

“Yeah, but this is almost nine months of bad days.” Jared smiles at Jensen.

“We will just have to see how things work out. Maybe it will be different this time since you don’t have to deal with everything by yourself.” Jensen tells him.

“Yes we will have to just wait and see. I will probably be puking my guts out in about two weeks.” Jared rubs his hands down Jensen’s back.

“I’ll hold your hair from your face, rub your back and wipe your face off for you.” Jensen rubs his hand across Jared cheek. “I love you, Jay and I will be here.”

“I love you, Jen. And I kind of hope I am pregnant. My babies aren’t babies anymore and I kind of miss that.” Jared leans over to kiss Jensen.

“Okay my lunch is only an hour. I should get up and make it back. Are you feeling better now?” Jensen asks as he goes to get up.

“Yes much thank you. Are you going to be late tonight?” Jared asks as he sits up.

“No I should be home by 5. There isn’t anything big going on right now.” Jensen walks out of the bathroom bringing a warm washcloth with him. He cleans Jared front up and then motioning for Jared to rollover to get the back. “You know this is the most sex we have had with each other in like forever. It’s like we are back at the honeymoon stage again.” Jensen laughs.

“You would think of it like that. You know it’s been a long time since I have really wanted it. I didn’t have time to go find it and I didn’t want to go find anyone.” Jared looks over at Jensen as he puts his clothes back on.

“I did a few things I am not happy about while you were gone. But that is the past and we are moving into the future from here on out.” Jensen bends over to kiss Jared before he leaves. “I will see you tonight.”

“Alright, I love you and I will see you when you get home.” Jared smiles at him.

After Jensen leaves Jared curls up on the bed and looks at his toy sitting on the bed side table. He decides to leave it until he gets up from his nap. He is woken up by his phone alarm going off. He grabs it and shuts it off. Sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes and grabbing his toy he walks to the bathroom, he sets it down and uses the bathroom, grabbing the jeans he had on earlier he changes into them and goes to the kitchen to reheat the morning’s coffee before getting the twins.

Twenty minutes later he is sitting in the preschool parking lot waiting for the last five minutes to roll by so he can get his twins from school. He gets out of his truck and walks into the building and seeing the twins running around playing with the other kids he has to smile to see them getting along so well with the other’s. Vicki sees him standing there and walks over to talk to him

“Hi, Jared they were so good today and as you can see they are getting along well.” Vicki pats him on the arm.

“Yeah I can see that. No problems from them at all?” Jared asks skeptically.

“Not a one. They did have a little problem with lunch but after I got them to taste it, it went down without one problem.” Vicki tells him with a smile.

“Yeah I forgot to mention sometimes they can be picky in what they eat.” Jared looks back at the twins.

“No biggie, I deal with kids that have trouble with different foods. I work around those problems and a lot of them end up eating better here than at home.” Vicki smiles as she watches the kids run after each other.

“Well that’s cool. Maybe you can get them to eat their vegetables.” Jared smirks.

“Hey I said I can get them to eat different foods not that I am a miracle worker.” Vicki laughs. “Are you ready to take them home now?”

“Yes I am. It has been really quiet at home today.” Jared nods his head.

“Bray and Anna your Papa is here.” Vicki tells them.

The twins stop in place and turn their heads toward him and smile, running for Jared. He braces himself for the onslaught of being hit by them full force. Bray and Anna both babble at him and he has trouble understanding them. He tells them to slow down and talk one at a time. Vicki reminds them that they need to get their papers from their mailboxes and their backpacks. They leave Jared and run back across the room.

“They seem to of had fun today. I am glad that you are running this place. Hopefully they continue to have this much fun every day and it wears them out for us. I am going to be one tired person once I start this job.” Jared tells Vicki.

“Yeah I heard it was a night shift.” Vicki says.

“Yes. Eight at night to six in the morning, but it shouldn’t be that bad because it’s at night. It shouldn’t be as busy as it is in the day.” Jared responds to her.

“I hope not for your sake; kids and nightshift jobs don’t go well together.” Vicki sighs as the twins run back over.

“Are you two ready to go?” Jared looks down at them.

Two ‘Yes, Papas’ ring through the air. Jared leads them out of the school and into the truck to head home. Once they make it home Jared sets them at the table and allows them to tell him how their first day of preschool went. He learns that Anna really likes to paint with her fingers and Bray likes to play in the sand and that what Vicki had served for lunch wasn’t all that bad. And they both liked the other kids in the class. After they had calmed down Jared sends them off to play so he could start supper before Jensen gets home. He decides on fish sticks, fried potatoes and broccoli with cheese and he knows that Jensen will eat at least most of that.

Jensen walks in the door announcing that he was home. His nose leads him to the kitchen, “What is that smell?”

Jared turns around from the stove and looks at him with a small smile and tells him, “Broccoli.”

Jensen scrunches up his nose and says, “Eww, gross.”

“It is not that bad and the kids like it.” Jared throws back at him.

“It stinks like dead feet.” Jensen pinches the end of his nose off.

Jared sticks his tongue out at him and tells him he doesn’t have to eat it and not to corrupt the kids against it.

“I am going to go change; I’ll be right back down.” Jensen kisses Jared on the back of his neck before he leaves.

Jensen stops and talks the Bray and Anna before he goes to change and they tell him about everyone they met today and also about what they did with Vicki at school. He tells them supper is almost done so if they could clean up the toys a little beforehand they wouldn’t have as much to do later. Leaving them to their own devices he changes and heads into the bathroom. The first thing he sees when he walks in is the toy Jared had been using when he got home for lunch. And he guesses better that it was sitting on the sink in the bathroom instead of where he left it on the stand beside the bed. He goes ahead and washes it well before he deposits it back into its box in the closet. Jared hollers up the stairs and tells them that supper is done and to come get it while it’s hot. He hears the twins run out of the bedroom and tromp down the stairs. He is going to have to have a talk with them about running in the house and especially on the stairs.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

“Now remember when I pick you up tonight I will be home for supper and bathes but then I have to go to work and Daddy will be putting you to bed. I will call and talk to you before you go to bed, though.” Jared tells both of the kids.

Bray and Anna look up at Jared and Anna says, “You have told us that about a million times today.”

“I know I have but I want to make sure that you know that I won’t be home and you will need to be good for Daddy.” Jared looks at his kids and knows that he is pushing his luck. “Okay I will stop and let you both be.”

Jared walks in the school, watching as the twins run to join their schoolmates. Vicki waves at him from her place behind her desk. Jared waves back and leaves the building to drive home and see what he can get done around the house and get in a nap before he has to get the kids and then fix supper. He is dreading starting the night shift but it’s something he is just going to have to get used to because his life sucks. He went to his orientation yesterday to meet his boss and his fellow co-workers; Traci seems to be a nice person, Chad L., the night maintenance guy seems a little weird, but he works at night so what can he expect. And Gabe the night, well he really didn’t know what he does; he just seemed like a shy kid. Jared gets out of his truck and walks into the house shutting and locking the door. He slowly looks around the living room and decides that it looks fine, so he decides to just crash on the couch until later. He didn’t have much to worry about until he had to get the twins. Jensen had a lunch meeting for work so he wouldn’t be coming home for lunch. 

He is just drifting off to sleep when his phone rings, grabbing it off the table and looking at the caller I.D. he sees that it’s his momma, “Hello.” 

“Jared, what are you doing right now?” Sherry asks him.

“I was almost asleep. I start my job tonight. Why?” Jared asks.

“Well, I was wondering if the four of you would want to have a BBQ this weekend.” Sherry asks.

“Probably, I would have to ask Jensen if he had plans and then go from there.” Jared tells her.

“All right I will let you get back to your nap and just let me know if you guys will be coming. Bye, I love you.” Sherry says tells him.

“I love you, too Momma. Bye.” Jared says with a yawn.

Jared shuts his phone and lays back, staring up at the ceiling. He realizes as he lays there that his almost nap is gone. He picks up the remote and turns on the TV, he flips through the channels and ends up finding the View, he knows it’s the View but Whoopie can come up with some funny shit. The next thing he knows is the phone alarm is going off. He runs his hand down his face and scrubs at his sleepy eyes. 

He staggers into the kitchen looking at the coffee pot with its none existent coffee and thinks that maybe the nap wasn’t such a good idea. He more tired now than when he got up this morning. With a sigh he realizes he doesn’t have time to make a pot and had better leave now if he wanted to get a cup before picking up the kids. 

When he gets the kids home they are wired for sound yet again and it takes until Jensen gets home to get them settled. They end up trailing after him as he makes his way upstairs to change and none of them come back down until supper is done. They work together to get the kids in the tub and Jared gets ready to leave. Anna has a small breakdown as Jared is getting ready to walk out the door but between the both of them they get her calmed down. When Jared gets to work two tour buses are sitting in front of the hotel and all hell is breaking out at the front desk. Jared walks up to the desk and asks Alona, as her name tag says, if she would be okay until he clocked in. She waved him on as she listened to the frustrated tour guide explain how their reservations had somehow became cancelled at the hotel down the street and they needed rooms for everyone. Jared nodded his head slowly and walked into the office and called the kids so he wouldn’t miss them before they went to bed, then clocked in. 

Walking back into the front end, he walks over to the computer and waves the other chaperone for the tour over to him. 

“How many people do you need rooms for?” Jared looks up at him. 

“On his bus there are forty-five and on mine there are sixty-one, that includes us and the drivers.” The guide says.

Jared looks over at Alona and groans. “So do we have enough rooms for all of them?” 

“Well we will have to spread them around but I think we can fit them all in.” Alona scrunches up her face.

“Okay you do the couples and I will do the families and the singles.” Jared smiles over at her. Jared turns back and looks at the tour guide standing in front of him, “Okay now one question for you would you two guides mind sharing a room and also the drivers?” 

“That’s fine. We just want to rest. It has been a long day.” The guide says.

“Okay do the families need any special items like bedside cribs or the like?” Jared asks.

He receives a no and then looks at his screen and sighs. They end up getting everyone into rooms and almost together and since it was for only one night they wouldn’t be left with too much of a worry. After all the paperwork is signed and key passed out with a list of the rooms, Jared looks at Alona and introduces himself to the desk manager he assumes he is taking over for. 

“Thank you for helping me. I am so ready to get out of here.” Alona yawns.

“I can understand that. I will so be ready to run in the morning myself. How long have you work here?” Jared asks curious.

“I have worked here for three years and you transferred from the San Antonio site?” Alona tries to confirm what she had heard.

“Yes. I just reconciled with my husband and moved back here. Really don’t like the idea of this shift but I am still in company and didn’t lose job security, so I can live with it for right now.” Jared looks back at her.

“I know that shift sucks it used to be mine, sorry.” Alona looks at him sheepishly.

“Well if you didn’t change shifts I probably wouldn’t have this job so it’s all good.” Jared smiles at her.

“Well I am tired. I’m going to clock out and head home. Hopefully the night isn’t too rough on you. Goodnight Jared and there isn’t anything going on except for those new arrivals we just booked.” Alona waves back at him as she leaves.  
Jared turns and looks at the office door and wonders if he could slip back there and sit down for just a few minutes. He decides against it as Chad L. (that’s how he introduced himself) comes walking up to the desk.

“The hall lights on two west keep blowing the breaker and I need to shut down the wing and find out why?” Chad L. grimaces and nods his head at Jared.

“The whole wing?” Jared looks at him like he has grown an extra head.

“Yes, because I don’t know if it is just a breaker that is on the fritz or if it’s the wiring itself.” Chad says exasperated.

“Chad a whole wing.” Jared says back.

“Call Traci and see what she wants us to do.” Chad tells him.

“Hold on.” Jared leaves Chad standing at the desk as he goes into the back to find Traci’s number and call to see what she wants him to do.

“Hello.” Traci answers her phone.

“Traci this is Jared. Chad says that two west keeps blowing breaker and he doesn’t know if it’s a breaker or if it’s the wiring and he says we need to shut down the wing.” Jared tells her.

“We just had that section rewired six months ago. Alright Jared go check and see how many people are in that section and see about getting them moved to another part of the building and get Chad to have Harvey come in and help him. If he can’t figure it out have him pull that whole section until tomorrow. And leave me a report on what he did find for tomorrow in case I have to have someone come in.” Traci blows out an aggravated breath.

“Do I need to give compensation for the inconvenience for moving the customers?” Jared asks her.

“We can go for one free night if they are staying for another or gift certificates for the restaurant.” Traci tells him. “The gift certs are in the file cabinet on the left. Try those instead of the free night, there cheaper.”

“Okay I will check and see how many I have to move and see if they are up for free food. Thank you, Traci. I will see you in the morning.” Jared says before hanging up.

Walking back out into the front end he looks at Chad and blows out a long sigh, “Okay let me check on getting everyone moved into new rooms and then Traci said to call Harvey in to help you.” Jared tells Chad sounding somewhat unsure.

“Yeah Harvey is the day maintenance. I will go get a couple more flashlights so we will be able to see what we are doing.” Chad nods at Jared and walks away.

There are only six customers that need changed to different rooms. He changes all of them and waits for Chad to come back so they can head up stairs to get everyone into a new room. As they head upstairs Jared asks Chad what had happened on two west to have it rewired.

“Well about seven months ago we had some high school kids in and they decided it would be totally awesome to flood the third floor bathrooms and see how long it took to flood the hotel. Well by the time we had figured it out they had already leaked into the second floor and was causing all kinds of shit to happen. We had other customers calling wondering why they were getting a bath in the middle of the night. By the time we got the water cleaned up it had fried two west and the kids had to pay for it.” Chad smiles at Jared.

“Shit, so the whole two west had to be rewired and totally renovated. That probably cost a shit load of money.” Jared shook his head.

“Yeah and it still isn’t right. Sometimes the rooms will shut down and you have to actually pull the break from the box. I don’t mean flip it I mean take it all the way out of the box. It was good for about four months after we got it fixed but now it’s going all crazy again.” Chad turns on his light as they get out on two west.

“Fuck its dark up here.” Jared says as he sweeps his light across the hallway. 

“Yeah these people are probably not in or already asleep. Either way we are going to have to help them with their stuff.” Chad huffs.

“Yeah this is a great way to start my first night. First the two tour buses and now the electrical problems.” Jared says.

“Just be lucky that you weren’t here when it happened. It seriously sucked.” Chad follows Jared to the first room.

Jared knocks on the door and asks if anyone is in. He doesn’t receive any kind of answer. “We are going to have to put some notice out for when these people come back so they know we need to change the rooms out.” 

“There is that little sign thing in the entrance. I’ll call Gabe and have him change it now.” Chad picks up his phone and calls him. “Hey, Gabe. I need you to change that little sign thing.”

Chad listens to Gabe, “Well two west is on the fritz again and we are moving people around and they need to know to stop at the front desk.” Chad waits as he listens, “Well Gabe if you really want to stand there all night and accost people as they walk into the hotel be my guest, but I think it would be easier to just change the sign.”

After Chad hangs up Jared looks at him and asks, “What exactly does Gabe do here?”

“He is like our night gopher. He runs to get us coffee and takes care of some of the hotel guest that need things at night. If you get my drift.” Chad smiles at Jared.

“No way. He just seems like some back ass-ward kid.” Jared eyes go round with disbelief.

“Yeah, those are the ones you have to look out for.” Chad says truthfully.

“He isn’t going to get us in trouble is he?” Jared looks over at Chad as they move to one of the other patrons’ rooms.

“No it’s nothing that is police bad, just not really normal. He gets some of the visitor’s into some of those weird clubs where they do that BDSM stuff and others into those underground clubs. It’s nothing illegal. He just knows people. Weird People, but people.” Jared could hear the shutter in Chad’s voice.

“Okay.” Jared stops in front of the next door and knocks. The door opens with a flashlight shining in their eyes. Jared looks down at his paper, “Mr. Crawford, sorry about the disruption but we need to get you transferred into another room. This wing is being shut down due to an electrical problem.” 

“Couldn’t I just stay here; the only thing I am going to be doing is sleeping.” Mr. Crawford asks.

“No sir I wouldn’t be able to allow you to stay in this section without electricity. I am sorry sir for the inconvenience. I do have a nicer room set up and waiting for you and also gift certificates for the in house restaurant. 

Mr. Crawford huffs and rolls his eyes. “If I must I will get my things around.” 

“Will you need help with your luggage sir?” Chad asks from the doorway.

“No it’s just one bag and I have it.” Mr. Crawford says coming back to the door.

“Chad would you mind taking Mr. Crawford up to room 356 and make sure he settled in.” Jared asks Chad.

“Please follow me Mr. Crawford.” Chad smiles and waves him ahead of him.

Jared walks to the next room, no one is there and it’s the same for the next two rooms. The only other patrons are a husband and wife. He gets them settled and goes back downstairs to wait at the desk. Jared sits and wastes time by playing solitaire on the computer until he hears Gabe call his name as he walks towards him.

“Yeah Gabe what do you need?” Jared looks up at him.

“I have a client who is bringing his companion back with him and they need a suite that is well way from everyone else.” Gabe looks at Jared with pleading eyes.

“Gabe we are pretty well screwed right now, I mean with the tour buses and having to move everyone off of two west. I can see what we have but I just don’t know how lucky you are going to get.” Jared looks back at his screen , minimizing his game and looking at the rooms left the best he could do was set them up in a room on the fourth floor that didn’t have anybody else in a three room radius. Hopefully he wouldn’t get any complaints. “Gabe the only thing I have that would be ‘secluded’ is on the fourth floor.”

“That works. They don’t go all caveman or anything they just want to be able to play and not get interrupted.” Gabe says.

“I don’t want to know just as long as I don’t get any complaints and don’t have to call the cops in the morning.” Jared says holding his hands up towards Gabe, then handing the key over. “Make sure I get the information for payment.”

“It will be cash. I will give it to you when they get here.” Gabe walks away smiling at Jared before he turns around and head towards the door. 

Jared goes back to his game of solitaire and all is quiet for about an hour before two men walk into the hotel with Gabe trailing behind him. Gabe is pointing at them with a big smile on his face and both thumbs sticking up in the air.  
Jared shakes his head and goes back to his game he was playing. The rest of the night is boring and nothing happens. He really wants to just put his head down on the counter-top and take a nap because seriously if his all his night are going to be like this he might want to end this now. 

When Jared makes it home Jensen is just getting up to get the kids ready for preschool. 

Jensen takes one look at him and sees that he is ready to drop. “Jay, baby why don’t you just go to bed and I’ll do everything today.” Jensen looks at Jared with concerned eyes.

“No because the kids will want to know where I am and will throw a fit and give you shit until they come see me. I will be okay until they go to school.” Jared looks at him with tiredness rolling off him.

“Okay I just think you should go to bed and I will explain why you’re not up. But if you must stay up why don’t you go sit down somewhere before you fall over and I have to cover you up where you fall.” Jensen snickers as Jared turns to walk back downstairs and sit in the living room.

By the time Jensen makes it downstairs with the kids dressed and ready to eat their breakfast of cold cereal Jared is snoring sitting up in the corner of the couch. The twins walk over and take turns crawling up to give Jared a kiss before Jensen herds them into the kitchen to eat and then take them to school. Jensen walks back into the living room grabbing the blanket sitting on the back of the couch and covers Jared up and kissing him lightly on the mouth whispering that he loves him and will see him later.


	37. Chapter 37

“Jay, Jay come on wake up. Me and the kids are home and it’s time to get up.” Jensen kneels down in front of the couch.

“What? It can’t be that late yet.” Jared looks up at Jensen through sticky eyes.

“Yes it is. Bray and Anna are upstairs changing into different clothes and then I’m going to figure supper out. Why don’t you go take a shower so you can wake up a bit?” Jensen stands up and offers him a hand.

Jared stretches and yawns then grabs ahold of Jensen’s hand and pulls him down on top of him.

“Jay!” Jensen says startled.

“I am so fuckin’ tired.” Jared wraps his arms around Jensen.

“Yeah, I can understand why. You aren’t used to being up like that.” Jensen tells him.

“I could just go right back to sleep holding you. And then never make it back to work again.” Jared reaches up and kisses Jensen on the lips.

“That’s gross, Papa.” Bray says from the bottom of the couch.

“Well, I am just showing Daddy how much I love him.” Jared tells him.

“It’s still gross.” Bray wrinkles his nose.

“Hey, Bray what is your sister doing?” Jensen peers back at him.

“She’s playing in her room.” Bray tells him.

“Let me get Papa moving and we will go out to eat tonight because I don’t think he feels like cooking tonight.” Jensen looks back at Jared, then back over at Bray.

“Cool, I’ll go tell Anna.” Bray doesn’t wait for more to be said and bolts off to get his sister moving.

“You know that I need to take a shower to wake up because it sure isn’t happening by itself.” Jared turns his attention back to Jensen.

“Well get your ass off the couch and get moving.” Jensen looks down at Jared.

“That’s kind of hard with you lying out all over me.” Jared smirks up at his husband.

“You pulled me down here I was trying to help you up.” Jensen kisses Jared as he tries to get up, but Jared wraps his arms tighter around his waist.

“Jay, the kids will be back down here in a minute and they will be ready to go as soon as they hit the bottom step.” Jensen pushes himself farther away from Jared.

“Alright I’m going. Get up so I can make it upstairs and get ready to go out to eat.” Jared reluctantly releases his hold on him and follows Jensen off the couch.

Jensen watches as he walks away, stretching and showing a thin strip of skin as he heads off to take a shower.

A few hours later…

“I really wish I didn’t have to go back to that crazy house. Do you know that Gabe has connections to the BDSM clubs and sets them up in rooms in the hotel and has done it for a while and that the whole two west wing had to be shut down last night because the whole wing had a power outage. It was one thing after another and I just wanted to go to sleep. I can’t believe I slept all day.” Jared rolls over and looks at Jensen.

“Well at least you were able to sleep and not worry about the kids or anything else. You will get used to working on this shift and it will be second nature.” Jensen rolls closer to Jared.

“I so don’t want that to be second nature to what my life is Jen. I want to be able to spend time with my kids and you; to have a normal day job and not deal with the weird and insomniacs and the weird ones. Do you know that there is a big BDSM following in this area and they don’t do it behind their own closed doors? They do it at the clubs and hotels. I wonder if they are even doing it with the same people all the time. Gabe has clients that come to him and that’s just weird.” Jared looks intently at Jensen.

“Jay, you are kind of obsessing about this. It is almost scary. Please tell me you are not thinking of looking into this kind of thing. Kinky is one thing but beating your ass with whips and binding you to chairs and shit is kind of out there.” Jensen smiles at Jared.

“NO, no, no. I want nothing to do with any of that. I just don’t know if I can work with those people popping in and out all the time at Gabe’s revolving door. I don’t know what I would do if one of them wanted to get freaky with me.” Jared shutters at the thought of getting involved with those people.

“Jay I don’t think that those people openly go after people who are not into it.” Jensen smiles at Jared.

“But you know that there are those ones that try to pull other people into the life.” Jared looked across at Jensen.

“Jay I really don’t think it’s going to happen while you are at work. Speaking of work shouldn’t you be getting ready to go?” Jensen asks.

Jared huffs as he rolls his eyes at Jensen. “I guess I should be since the kids crashed on the way home and stayed asleep. Do you by chance want to join me in the shower?”

“I can get with that idea but you don’t think that would be too kinky for you would it?” Jensen teases him.

“You are so wrong. It’s just some lovin’ in the shower.” Jared stands up from the bed.

“You said it not me.” Jensen stands up and starts to strip as he walks to the bathroom.

“I wish you wouldn’t tease me about this it is freaking me out you know.” Jared says following Jensen into the bathroom.

“Jared I really do not think you have anything to be worried about with the BDSM crowd that visits your workplace, for one reason and one reason only, they want to still be able to go there to do there wicked little experiments on each other.” Jensen wiggles his eyebrows at Jared.

“You are just so wrong.” Jared smiles at Jensen.

“You still love me.” Jensen turns the water on and steps into the shower. “Come on Jay you are going to be late if you don’t get in here. So come on.”

“I’m coming. I just wish I could just stay home.” Jared groans.

“You will get used to working this shift and you might even get a little bit of an education from it.” Jensen cackles as he smacks Jared on the ass.

“Do you think this is some kind of joke at my expense?” Jared glares at him.

“Nope.” Jensen smiles at him. “Just that you shouldn’t knock it unless you try it at least once and really know that it’s not for you.” Jensen ducks his head under the spray of water.

“Jensen do you have something to tell me?” Jared asks as he steps up close to him.

“Nope.” Jensen says as he turns around in Jared’s arms.

They finish in the shower and Jared makes it to work with just a spare few minutes.

“Damn, you are cutting it close big boy.” Alona says as she looks up at Jared rushing in the front door.

“Yeah the first day was a little much. Did they figure out was wrong with two west?” Jared sets his coffee down on the counter and goes to hang his jacket in the office.

“Yes, there was a short in the box. The floor is still down though but lucky you it has been a very quiet day, so hopefully it carries over into the night shift for you.” Alona smiles sweetly at him.

“Oh I so hope so because I really need to be able to spend some time with my kids tomorrow and not have to eat out again. My husband would so rather do that then actually cook something.” Jared walks over to the computer and looks to see what the rooms looked like.

“It hasn’t been busy at all today. The only thing you might get tonight is some of Gabe’s clients.” Alona looks over at Jared and smiles.

“That never freaked you out at all?” Jared asks her.

“No it was always the same sex couples that most generally stay with each other and come about once a week to be happy with each other.” Alona winks at him.

“That is so wrong.” Jared shakes his head.

“They are not that bad. Just normal people who like it a little rough and then live normal everyday lives together.” Alona nods her head as if agreeing with her own statement.

“If you say so.” Jared looks up at her.

“Okay I am out of here. See you tomorrow night.” Alona picks up her stuff and waves goodbye.

Jared has a spectacularly boring night. Not even any of Gabe’s guests show up. When he gets home he’s not tired because of having a busy night but because he had an extremely boring one and that ends up being a running theme over the next two weeks. He doesn’t understand how Alona had worked at this night shift for so long. He’s almost ready to say fuck it and stay home and be Jensen’s kept bitch but then he thinks how it would be just as bad to be home all the time as it was to go to work every day and be bored out of his mind.

As the weeks pass by Jared wakes up one afternoon wishing that he was still asleep and have the ability to make it to the bathroom before last night’s supper repays him a visit. He had been hoping that against all hopes that the few unprotected instances of sex had just been that. Unprotected sex that didn’t lead to this, but he knew that he couldn’t get away without having this happen. So as he holds onto the side of the toilet and hoped to be done soon he knows that he would have to talk to Jensen and then make a doctor’s appointment to see how things are progressing. He had taken a pregnancy test at work last night because he felt off. And as soon as he saw the words pregnant flash on the screen he knew what was coming next. Month after month of hanging over the toilet, mood swings and cravings and let’s not forget getting as big as a house.

But this time he would have Jensen to take care of him. And hope and pray that he didn’t drive him away with his crazy.

“Jared where are you?” Jensen calls out into the house.

“I’M IN THE BATHROOM.” Jared hollers out then proceeds to finish emptying his stomach.

“Jay what’s wrong?” Jensen kneels down by him rubbing his back.

Jared groans as he pulls himself back from the toilet. “I have something important to tell you.” Jared swallows hard and holds up a finger, then continues to throw up.

Jensen sits and stares at Jared back. He has a suspicion as to what is wrong with Jared but he will wait for him to spill the news before he has his freak out. He assumed this would be happening soon.

Jared sits up and rubs his hand over his mouth. Jensen hands him a glass of water and waits for him to calm down some.

“Jay what’s wrong?” Jensen moves his head to look at him.

“I’m pregnant, Jen. I took a test at work last night and it said pregnant. And this morning I’m bring my guts back up. I wanted to avoid this part.” Jared lets out a deprecating laugh.

“Jay I am here this time. You don’t have to go it alone this time. I will help you. I will be here to hold your hand, take care of you and the kids. I am here.” Jensen pulls Jared to him and kisses him.

“Jen I just got done throwing up.” Jared pulls back from the chaste kiss.

“I know that’s why I didn’t go too far.” Jensen smiles at him.

“I have to make a doctor’s appointment. You will go with me won’t you?” Jared looks at him sheepishly.

“I would not miss it for anything in the world.” Jensen pulls him into his arms. “Let’s get off this floor, brush your teeth and I will get you some sprite and toast.”

“No toast.” Jared shakes his head.

“All right I will meet you downstairs.” Jensen retreats from the bathroom.

Jared looks at his haggard face in the mirror. He turns the water on and splashes his face, gets his tooth brush and brushes his teeth, then joins Jensen in the kitchen.

“Are you sure you will be able to work tonight?” Jensen looks at Jared with worry in his eyes.

“Yeah this only happened when I got up in the morning with the twins. It would have been nice to of skipped this part all together.” Jared looks at the cup clutched in his hand.

“You do know that you would never have to work again if you would just let me take care of you. I would be able to you know. I work enough to take care of ten of us Jared and you could just stay home and not deal with the stress of being up all night and being sick when you wake up. You wouldn’t have to worry about the kids missing you and you missing them. Jared if you could please just think about it for my own peace of mind.” Jensen pleads.

“Jen I am so used to taking care of things on my own, I don’t know if I would be able too, but I will think about it. No promises.” Jared smiles at him.

Two days later they are sitting in Dr. Mandez’s obstetrics and gynecological office waiting to see the doctor. Jared could not sit still in his seat, his leg was bouncing up and down and he kept shifting in his seat.

“Jay could you please stop fidgeting around you are making me nervous.” Jensen sets his hand on top of Jared’s knee to try to stop its mile a minute bounce.

“I can’t help it. Last time I did this I screwed it up.” Jared looks at Jensen under his bangs.

“You did not screw up you just had bad judgment.” Jensen rubs his hand up and down Jared’s thigh trying to get him to relax.

“Padalecki-Ackles.” The nurse stands holding the door open.

Jensen follows Jared into the room. The nurse takes his blood pressure, weight, and has him go pee in a cup. When he gets back into the room she has him change into the gown for his examination and tells him the doctor will be in shortly.

Jared sits and plays with the edge of the sheet covering his lap, swinging his feet back and forth.

“Jay could you relax you are driving me nuts.” Jensen pleads.

“I can’t help it. I am nervous.” Jared looks worried.

A knock at the door makes Jared jump and Jensen blow out a breath.

“Jared it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you. Jensen you look well.” Maria Mandez looks at the men sitting in the room. “Well I see you made it back to your husband and he actually knows about before?” She asks.

“Yes I know everything.” Jensen speaks up.

“So this time it was consensual on both ends and you both are looking forward to this?” Once again she looks at them.

“Yes we are on the same page.” Jared nods his head.

“Okay let’s see what’s going on in here.” Maria walks over and pulls the table out so Jared can lay back and put his legs out. “So what had been going on?”

“Well when Jensen and I got back together we had sex and it happened to be unprotected and it occurred a couple of other times. The heat of the moment.” Jared said looking down at his feet.

“Jared you’re a grown man now and this seems to be nothing like before.” Maria looks at him.

“I know it’s nothing like before. I just am scared. I had twins before and I know it’s likely that I can have multiples again. The twins are going to be almost five when this one’s born. And Jensen has been great but I am still worry I will mess this up again.” Jared looks close to tears.

“Jay.” Jensen grabs his hand and squeezes it. “I love you and I understand. But I am not going anywhere.”

“I know but I’m still scared.” Jared wipes his face.

“Okay I think that you both need to get on the same page and stop beating yourself up over old news Jared.” Maria tells him.

“I know but I’m still scared.” Jared looks over at Jensen.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Jensen tells him.

“Okay we will work on that right. Okay so how many times have you guys had unprotected sex?” Maria asks.

“Three. I can be anywhere to a month to two weeks pregnant.” Jared looks down at his belly. Jensen squeezes his hand.

“For the best results to see what is going on in there I have to do an internal scan. It isn’t invasive and it gives me a better idea of what’s going on in there.” Maria turns around to get the machine ready. Jared turns to Jensen with wide eyes.

“Well what will you be able to see?” Jensen asks.

“Well I will be able to see his uterus, the fetus and how much fluid is surrounding the fetus. Okay Jared you know the routine. Legs up in the stirrups.” Maria says as she pats his leg and pushes the table back in. Jared swallows hard and pulls his legs up into the stirrups.

“Okay this will be slightly cold and there will be some pressure. Sorry.” Maria replies as Jared flinches. She moves the wand around a little and smiles as what she is looking for comes into view. Her eyebrows go up a little as she pushes some buttons and spins the ball on the ultrasound machine. “Okay boys I can see the uterus and the fluid level looks good and the three fetuses appear to be about four weeks along. It’s triplets.”

“Three.” Jared squeaks out. “What am I going to do with three babies?” He looks over at Jensen who appears to have swallowed his tongue and looks like he is going to pass out. “Jen are you okay?”

“Yeah just a little astounded. Triplets. You are either really fertile or I have some strong sperm.” Jensen smiles as he leans down to kiss Jared’s forehead.

“Well I can explain that. Male fertile’s are more likely to carry multiples because they have stronger systems than females and can endure a lot more. But they also have to deal with increased side effects from caring multiples. Sorry Jared.” Maria turns back to the monitor to finish her measurement and print out some pictures for the dad’s to be. Jensen takes them from her and stares at them as Jared gets dresses.

“They look so weird; almost like you have beans sitting inside you. And these beans turn into kids and there are going to be three of them in nine months.” Jensen looks from the pictures to Jared.

“Yeah that’s how it usually works. Jensen we are going to have five kids. How are we going to manage this?” Jared asks.

“I guess we figure that out as we go. Jay you did twins by yourself for over four years, I think the two of us can do the twins and three babies just fine. Did you like have milk with the twins or did you bottle feed?” Jensen looks over at Jared.

Jared looks at him dumbfounded, “Jensen this is not the time to talk about breast feeding.”

“What it’s an honest question? I want to know if I will be able to help you with that aspect of having these kids. I told you I will be here to help you this time. I missed so much of the twins’ lives up until now and I don’t want to think about missing out on these three, too.” Jensen looks over at Jared.

“Okay. Let’s not keep Maria waiting.” Jared pulls his shirt from his pants where it was stuck. Jensen walks over to him, wrapping his arms around him and pulls him in closer to his own body, sealing their lips together.

“Jen we need to go talk to Maria and she’s waiting. The kids get out of school in like two hours and we can talk more before they get home.” Jared looks at him.

“Okay, okay let’s go.” Jensen grabs his hand and pulls him out of the room.

Maria is sitting behind her desk when they come into the room. “Okay boys, Jared I have received your records from your OB and it looks like you had a normal pregnancy with normal side effect. You will probably be looking at about the same things that you went through before. Once you get closer to your due date I more than likely will remove you from work and depending on how things are going and your body bed rest might be something that will be in your future: That all hinges on how well your body takes to this pregnancy. Any questions for me?” Maria asks.

Jensen looks at Jared and shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t think so. If my nausea gets worse I can get something to help with it like before?” Jared asks.

“Yes we can get you a prescription for Phenergan if need be.” Maria smiles at Jared. “Anything else?”

“Nope but I know how to get ahold of you if I have to.” Jared smiles at her.

“Well I have other patients waiting for me so I need to get going and I will see you in about a month. Take care of yourself and see you then.” Maria stands up and leads them back to the receptionist to make the next appointment.

The drive home was quiet. Jared is the first to break the silence once they enter the house. “Jen I’m sorry. I never wanted to make this hard for you to deal with.”

“Jay it’s not a hardship. I am actually really excited about this. I have you back and two wonderful kids with you and three more on the way. I want this.” Jensen wraps Jared in his arms and kisses him softly trying to reassure him about the events of the day.

“I just don’t want this to shatter what we are trying to build back up.” Jared sobs.

“Jay it’s not going to tear us apart. I want this with you. I will prove it. I love all of you and you will be so sick of me by the time you give birth that you will wish I go away just so you can have room to breathe.” Jensen holds Jared’s face between his palms as he looks into his eyes.

“I believe you Jen I just hope you can stand to be around me.” Jared turns his head to kiss the inside of Jensen’s palms.


	38. Chapter 38

“Jay, where are you?” Jensen asks.

“In my new home away from home.” Jared says as he leans back into the toilet.

“Didn’t I leave you there this morning?” Jensen says as he kneels down beside Jared.

“Yes you did and it sucks. I haven’t kept anything down today. I can’t even think about food right now.” Jared lays his head down on the toilet seat.

“Maybe we should see about getting you that prescription for that medicine.” Jensen rubs his back.

“I already called Maria, she called it into the pharmacy. It should be ready to pick up by the time the twins get out of school.” Jared raises his head to look at Jensen. “Unfortunately, this early on they are suppositories.” 

“Well at least they will be smaller than my dick.” Jensen smiles trying to make Jared feel a little better. 

“Not funny Jen.” Jared groans.

“Well just think you only have six more weeks of the first trimester. And with luck you will be done with this part.” Jensen kisses the back of his neck.

“I surely hope so.” Jared leans back against Jen’s chest. 

“We might as well go see if it’s ready then go get the kids.” Jensen reaches out his hand as he stands up.

Jared grunts as he gets up, stopping to brush his teeth, and wipe his face off. “I cannot believe that three little beans can be making me so sick.”

“Well your body has to be going through changes and the twins are almost four. That’s a long time in-between pregnancies. Right?” Jensen asks.

“It used to be recommended you wait seven years between. Now not so much. I just hope and pray it lets up soon because I will not be able to take this for nine months.” Jared slumps against the sink.

They go to the pharmacy and get his medicine, where Jared proceeds to then go straight to the bathroom to use one of the suppositories. Jared is really happy they left the house early so he could do this. The nausea tapers off after about half an hour and he was able to eat supper with the kids and Jensen. Maria had told him earlier that if the medicine didn’t work that she might have to admit him to the hospital for a few days. That was something he didn’t want to do this early in his pregnancy. He was really praying the Phenergan works. He had this weekend off so it made it easier for him to rest.

When they got home Jensen made him go lay down in bed. Jensen took care of baths and nightly routines while he slept. When Jensen went to bed Jared was curled up in the middle of the bed with the blankets pulled all the way up around his neck. Jensen stood at the end of the bed looking at him while he slept and hoped that this pregnancy wouldn’t take too much out of Jared. He also hoped that Jared wasn’t too hardheaded when it came time for him to leave work. Jensen crawls into bed with Jared, crawling as close to him as he can.

Sometime during the night Jared got up to make a run for the bathroom to heave up his supper. Jensen comes into rub his back and retrieves his prescription from the fridge. 

“How do you want to do this Jay?” Jensen asks.

“Wait until I get done bringing up my stomach.” Jared continues. 

“Oh, Jay I wish I could make this go away for you.” Jensen continues to rub his back, getting a wash cloth out and to rub across his neck after getting it wet. 

Once Jared is done they make their way back to bed and Jensen helps him with his medicine. Jared lies on his side breathing slowly.

“Do you want to try to drink some water?” Jen asks.

“Not right this minute.” Jared groans.

“You’re going to get dehydrated unless you drink something.” Jensen holds the cup of water to his lips and he takes a small drink. He feels his stomach wanting to repel the water back up his throat. 

“Take it away Jen I can’t do this.” Jared says weakly.

“Jay you can’t just lay here and suffer without drinking or eating anything. Maybe I should call Dr. Mandez’s office to see what they want us to do.” Jensen suggests.

“I already know what she wants me to do. She wants to admit me for a few days. I wanted to see if the anti-nausea was going to work first before I went that far. I really don’t want to spend any of my time this early in this pregnancy in the hospital, but if I have to I must.” Jared groans as it feels that little bit of water wanting to make a new appearance. 

“Let me call someone to sit with the twins. Is it okay if I have Chris come sit with them?” Jensen asks.

“That’s fine. If you think he will be able to do it?” Jared says breathlessly.

“Yeah he will be fine.” Jensen says picking up his phone to head out of the room. When he comes back in he is smiling slightly. “Chris said he will be here in about twenty minutes. Can you wait that long?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Jared replies.

Jensen sits on the bed rubbing Jared’s back while they wait for Chris to get there. When he does get there he creeps up the stairs and walks into the bedroom, Jared is sleeping lightly. “How is he doing?”

“Good after the Phenergan kicks in but it only lasts so long. He just now dozed off but not really relaxed yet.” Jensen looks up at him.

“Well you guys better get going. You’re going to end up being there all night as it is.” Chris stands looking at them.

“Yeah, I know but it sucks that he is this sick. Hey, Jay, Chris is here to watch the twins. Come on get up baby so we can get you to the hospital.” Jensen shakes his shoulder. 

“I’m up. Stop rocking me please.” Jared goes whiter than he already is.

“I’ll help you up.” Jensen grabs Jared’s hand. 

“Slow, Jen.” Jared sits up slowly from his position on the bed.

Jensen slowly helps Jared up to a sitting position. “Is that medicine not working at all?” 

“Just a little dizzy is all, haven’t kept much of anything in my stomach today.” Jared replies.

“Okay let’s get ready to go. We will be back later Chris. Call me if you need me.” Jensen says while he helps Jared up from the bed. 

“I can do this Jen. Just take care of your boy right now.” Chris waves them out of the room.

Once they make it to the hospital and to OB they end up seeing one of the other doctors that works with Dr. Mandez. Jared is hooked up on IV’s to help to restore what he has been losing for a while now. Jensen looks at him in disbelief when he comes clean with how long he’s been feeling this way. 

Jensen waits until the nurse leaves before he looks at Jared with horror on his face. “How come you didn’t tell me you have been throwing up this much? I would have never let you go to work if I knew you were this sick. It isn’t good for you or the babies.” 

“Jen I have been pregnant before, I thought it was going just about like it was when I was having the twins. It’s just been really bad the last week.” Jared whines.

“You need to take it easy; not only for the babies, but for Anna and Bray. If the doctor wants you to take off time from work because of this you need to listen to her.” Jensen tells him.

“I will do exactly what she wants me to do for us.” Jared rubs his hand over his stomach where his not there yet bump will be shortly.

There is a soft knock at the door and the doctor walks into the room. “Okay I just got off the phone with Dr. Mandez and she wants you admitted for now and she will check on you in the morning and see how you feel. We will be moving you into an OB room in about fifteen minutes and getting you settled.” Dr. Alverte says.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Jared looks at the doctor.

“Sorry not right now. I will have the nurse come get you on the bed pan or get you a urinal.” Dr. Alverte tells him.

Jared groans but doesn’t say anything. He guesses that’s better than having a catheter. Jensen looks at the doctor and smiles slightly. He knows what is running through Jared’s mind without even hearing him say anything.

“I will send her right in.” Dr. Alverte turns around and leaves.

“Jay it could be worse. You could be peeing into a bag right now.” Jensen rubs his upper arm.

“Yeah I know but it’s just embarrassing to go that way, but it’s better than the other way.” Jared closes his eyes and puts his head back on the pillow.

At that thought the nurse enters the room. “Okay Jared let’s see what you got hopefully you are producing enough urine to not warrant a catheter.” Jane the nurse that has been taking care of his says. “Can you do this part on your own?” she says holding up the urinal.

“Yes I can do that all on my own.” Jared says with red cheeks.

“Okay then I will leave you to it and just ring the buzzer when you get done.” Jane hands the urinal over and leaves them alone.

“I know I said I could do this by myself but could you give me a hand.” Jared looks up from under his bangs.

“Yes Jay you know I will.” Jensen says walking further down the bed. He pulls the blanket back and raises Jared’s gown up to help him line up. He looks and waits for Jared to start but nothing happens. “Jay?”

“Could you maybe look at me and not “the me” down there?” Jared says sheepishly.

“Oh shit Jay. I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about it.” Jensen blushes.

“Yeah it just makes it hard with you looking down there while I’m trying to do that.” Jared says.

Once Jensen is looking at his face it is easier for him to relax and let nature take its course. Once he is done they buzz the nurse and she comes in, puts on gloves and takes the urinal to measure the amount to see if it is enough to not warrant the catheter. “I think we are good for right now. It was about 300 cc so you are doing well. Keep that up and no catheter for you.” Jane says throwing her gloves away and leaving the room.

“You know you can go home to take care of the kids.” Jared tells Jensen as he slumps into the cheap chair in the room.

“No I’m not leaving you here all alone. The kids are fine with Chris. And I want to be here in the morning when Dr. Mandez gets here.” Jensen nods his head at Jared.

“Okay just saying no use of us both being uncomfortable.” Jared yawns.

“We can say this is a trial run for the real thing. Get me use to sitting in these shitty chairs for hours on end.” Jensen laughs.

“Well let’s hope we don’t have to do this again until I go into labor.” Jared says turning towards Jensen.

They transfer Jared to the OB ward.

“Why don’t you try and go to sleep. I’m not going anywhere.” Jensen tells him.

“Only if you come closer to the bed.” Jared suggests,

Jensen takes Jared’s advice and scoots closer towards the bed and grabs ahold of Jared’s outstretched hand. “Better?”

“Yes it is.” Jared closes his eyes.

They are both asleep within minutes.

Jensen is woken up the next morning to Jared absently carding his hand through his hair. He draws in a deep breath before turning his head over in Jared’s hand. “Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.” Jared runs his hand over the stubble on Jensen’s cheek.

“No it’s fine. I need to be up when the doctor shows up.” Jensen stares into Jared’s eyes. “You look like you feel a little better than last night.”

“Yeah the straight line of Phenergan is doing a lot better than the suppositories. I actually don’t feel nauseous anymore.” Jared smiles.

A knock comes from the door followed by a tired looking Jane. “Hey boys how are we doing this morning?” she says as she checks the IV bags and taking Jared’s vitals.

“Better no nausea what so ever.” Jared says happily.

“That is only because you are getting a continuous low flow dose. Sorry.” She says after seeing Jared’s face drop a little when he hears that.

“Just think we are getting closer to being out of the first trimester every day.” Jensen replies.

“I know but this just sucks. The twins made me sick but never this bad.” Jared says almost stricken.

“It will get better. Dr. Mandez will be in shortly, she’s on floor right now.” Jane says. “Oh and shift change is in about an hour and Christine will be taking over for me.” 

“Okay thank you Jane. It was nice meeting you.” Jensen says from his chair.

“Thank you Jane. I have appreciated your kindness.” Jared says to her.

“Get better Jared. And it was nice meeting you too Jensen.” Jane says as she waves on her way out.

“I really hope things do get better because I can’t be this sick this whole pregnancy Jen, I need to be able to do stuff like I always do and take care of the twins and work. I will go nuts if the only things I can do are throwing up and sleeping.” Jared rubs his hands over his face.

“No you will get past this and be able to do all that but you need to go about it easy and not push too hard. No use of making yourself sicker when it can be avoided. You know I can take care of Bray and Anna if you need a break. We have that appointment with Missouri this week; if you don’t feel up to going I can call and reschedule it.” Jensen holds onto Jared’s hand.

“I should be okay by then. We can still go.” Jared replies.

Just then a knock comes at the door followed by Dr. Mandez. “Well Jared I see that the suppositories didn’t work as well as I hoped. You where dehydrated and some of your levels are low. Once you get the next bag of fluids in I will have them re-run your blood work and see if they came up so we can get you home. And I know you won’t want to do this but I am taking you off work for the next week so you can get your body feeling better. The night shift is hard to do when you are so used to working during the day. Throw pregnant on top of that and it’s worse. Any questions, comments or thoughts you want to go over with me?” 

“A week is a long time for them to find someone to replace me with and I just started this job.” Jared says.

“Jay, remember no arguments on this. You and these five kids are more important than some job. Anna and Bray need you as much as the three unborn ones do.” Jensen reminds him.

“I know it’s just a long time.” Jared replies.

“I could just as easily put you on bed rest until you give birth. That’s an even longer time.” Dr. Mandez reiterates. 

“No I’m good with a week.” Jared speaks up.

“See I knew you would be okay with a week.” Maria smiles at him.

“Perfectly fine with one week.” Jared nods his head.

“We just need to keep a close watch on this. It was really starting to take a toll on you and that’s not good. Once or twice a day with the nausea and vomiting is okay more than that you need to take different measures to stop that. Don’t let it get this bad again or it will be limited activity until you pop them out.” Maria pats Jared’s foot then leaves them to maul over what she said.

“She’s right Jay. You don’t want to get so sick that you can’t do anything besides stay in bed. And if I’m guessing right you probably already have something like that in your near future anyhow.” Jensen caresses his cheek trying to lessen the blow of his words. 

“I know Jen but you know me half the time I can’t even be still in my sleep let alone have to stay in bed or at home for days on end not being allowed to do much besides shower and go to the bathroom.” Jared rattles out.

“You just have to stop and think five babies.” Jensen leans down to kiss him.

“I know that there’s going to be five in all but it’s going to be hard to do. I remember the end with the twins by then I was ready to be done and stay lazing around in bed. Hell I even hated getting up to go to the bathroom. But I do have two kids that are almost four and need me to take care of them now I just can’t sit in bed all day and get fat.” Jared rambles on. “And that’s exactly what’s going to happen I’m going to blow up like a hot air balloon, the twins aren’t even going to be able to hug me, you won’t want anything to do with me because one minute I’m going to be all over you and the next I’m going to be telling you to leave me the fuck alone.” Jared shutters.

Jensen can see the tears start to well up in Jared’s eyes as he continues to go on. “Jay stop you are getting yourself all worked up over things that aren’t even relevant right now.” 

“But they will be in a few months and I’m very emotional when I’m pregnant and hard to be around.” Jared says as the first tear rolls down his face, taking a quick swipe at it to knock it away.

“Jay come on.” Jensen reaches out to wrap him into his arms. Jared sobs into Jensen chest for a while until he can get himself under control.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.” Jared pulls away to wipe his face off.

Jensen puts his hands on each side of Jared face and pulls him into a kiss to stop him from going any farther. As Jensen pulls away from the kiss he tells Jared, “I would never not want you Jay no matter how you act or how you look.”

“Okay.” Jared says softly.

“Why don’t you get some more sleep and I’m going to the bathroom and make some phone calls to let everyone know you are okay.” Jensen tells him.

“Can you wait until I get back to sleep to make the phone calls?” Jared asks.

“I can do that.” Jensen smiles at him.

“You can go pee though.” Jared adds.

Jensen tries for his best Igor voice and tells him “Thank you Master.” As he rounds his back off into a hump and drags one foot behind him; causing Jared to give a full belly laugh at him. When he makes it back to Jared’s bed he is already asleep. And by the time breakfast arrives he has let everyone know that Jared is in the hospital and he will be okay after he is rehydrated and rests. And has the firm belief that Christine is just the biggest bitch he has ever met. She had startled Jared awake by just walking into the room grabbing the blood pressure cuff and putting it roughly on his arm. He woke up dazed and wondering what the hell was going on. Then when she came into check his bag of fluids she sneered at them for the next twenty minutes when she had to keep coming back into reset the machine because it kept going off. 

“She’s a bitch.” Jensen quips after she left the last time.

“Jen.” Jared reprimands.

“Well it’s not like it’s our fault the damn thing wouldn’t shut up. And when she came in earlier and woke you up. She could have gone about that a little nicer.” Jensen tells him.

“She’s probably busy and has a lot of stuff she has to do.” Jared reasons.

“Well her bedside manner sucks.” Jensen huffs.

A small knock comes from the door and a small girl walks in wearing a lab coat and carrying all kinds of torture devices in her little carry all. “I’m here to draw your blood for testing. Padalecki-Ackles, Jared?”

“Yeah, that’s me.” Jared looks at her.

“Date of birth please.” She asks.

“7-19-82” Jared replies.

“Well that seems to be you. I’m Kiley by the way. Where would you like for me to do this at?” Kiley asks.

“Where ever you want.” Jared holds out his arms.

Kiley walks over and sets her caddy down on the bedside table and looks at his arms and slaps his arm trying to see if she can get some veins to pop up. “This looks good. You know the routine for this right.” Jared nods his head. Kiley nods back at him, putting the thick rubber band around his arm. She concentrates on everything she is doing and is done in no time flat with little discomfort as can be had with something like that. “All done for now.” Kiley smiles at him.

“Well it wasn’t all that bad I have had worse.” Jared smiles back at her.

“I will get this to the lab and the doctor will get the report and let you know how things look.” Kiley waves a goodbye as she leaves the room.

“Well hopefully those turn out good and we can get you home. The twins are probably chomping at the bit to know how you are.” Jensen stands up and stretches his back.

“Me, too. I don’t like being in here,” Jared tells him.

Within a few hours Dr. Mandez comes sweeping into Jared’s room with a small smile on her lips. “Well everything is back up to normal and I think you can go home in the morning.”

“Why in the morning?” Jensen asks.

“So that I know you can keep down a regular meal; even though it will be hospital food.” Dr. Mandez replies. “And when you get out of here the name of the game will be bland.”

“I remember and hope and pray that by the end of the first trimester I will be able to eat real people food.” Jared nods his head.

“If everything goes the way it’s supposed to yes. But you will still have the Phenergan if need be. I want you to continue to take it regularly to keep the nausea down. I mean at the scheduled time, even if you have to get up at night to take it. It will be the only way to keep it at bay.” Dr. Mandez says. 

“That’s going to be just as bad as getting up for late night feedings.” Jared groans.

“Well it’s that or puking your guts up.” Jensen tells him.

“He’s right.” Dr. Mandez says.

“I know. I just don’t want to become a big fat cow that is totally unable to get around without a crane to get me up.” Jared says bowing his head.

“Jared that’s not going to happen you just need to get past this and you will be fine.” Dr. Mandez pats his foot.

“Yeah just think I will be able to skip the gym if that happens I can just use you as my weights.” Jensen smiles at him.

“Your jokes suck.” Jared glares at him.

“You know it would be funny as hell if you weren’t pregnant.” Jensen quips back.

“Yeah, I guess.” Jared gives him a small smile.

“Okay boys are we good here?” Dr. Mandez asks.

“Yes I understand my punishment.” Jared smiles at her.

“It could be worse feeding tube, catheter and bed rest until birth.” Dr. Mandez smiles.

“Yeah, Jay think positive here at least you get to go home in the morning and as long as you don’t push it and keep bland shit down you can stay out of bed and still do normal stuff.” Jensen says.

Jared looks at him like he’s stupid because he thinks the bland diet is going to be just as bad as puking every time he eats. Not only that but resting all the time is almost as bad as staying in bed all the time. Jared heaves a sigh and looks at Dr. Mandez and nods.

“Okay then I’ll see you in the morning.” Dr. Mandez says as she leaves them.

Jensen sits back down in the chair and grabs Jared hand. “You do know that I was only messing with you. I didn’t mean any of that in a bad way. I just want you to see it could be worse.”

“I know Jen but for me right now this is worse. I have two kids at home, you and a job I haven’t even been at for a two months. And not only that I haven’t even got out of the first trimester yet.” Jared looks at him with worry in his eyes.

“Jared I think you are worrying about this way too much because you did fine with the twins and you will be perfectly fine with these three too.” Jensen says with a squeeze to Jared’s hand.

A knock at the door and a dietary worker comes in with a tray of food. Once it is sat on the tray she leaves them and Jared picks up the covers from the tray. “Well talk about blah, blah, blah. Broth with crackers, jello, green mind you and tea, probably decaf.”

“Well it could be water, water and more water.” Jensen says.

Jared glares at him as he picks up his crackers to crush them into his broth. “You know I should make you eat my diet so you can suffer with me.”

“If you want me too I will.” Jensen agrees with Jared.

Jared eats his food and it stays down. Jensen runs to the cafeteria and eats a quick bite while Jared naps. Chris brings the kids in before supper so they can spend time with their dad’s and get the reassurance that they will be back home tomorrow morning as long as Papa keeps his food down and rests. While the kids are sitting with Jared, Chris pulls Jensen to the side to talk to him. 

“So what all is going on with him?” Chris asks.

“Well he been really sick this past week and kept it to himself. He was really dehydrated and some of his blood levels where down. She threatened him with bed rest until birth if he doesn’t watch it.” Jensen yawns.

“I bet that made him happy.” Chris laughs.

“Not really.” Jensen smiles at his old friend. “But if he wants to be able to live a regular life until the babies are born he has to do these things.”

“Yeah he’s getting out of here soon and we can watch him like a hawk.” Chris asks him.

“Yeah I’m going to talk to his boss and see if I can get to some of his co-workers to see if they will keep an eye on him, too. I want to have that cushion of people looking out for him and the babies.” Jensen tells Chris.

“You don’t want to be to all in his shit Jensen because you are going to drive him nuts. And then you are going to be dealing with not only a pregnant, hormonal man but a grumpy, hateful, bitchy pregnant hormonal man. Your balls will be blue and his.” Chris snickers at him.

“I guess he will have to put up with me being the bread to his peanut butter.” Jensen smiles as he looks over at Jared and the twins. He walks back over to them and sits down. Brayden crawls up into his lap and wraps his arms around his neck. Jared has Anna curled up around him in the bed.

At the end of visiting hours, the twins leave with great reluctance. Chris reassures them that their dad’s will be home tomorrow morning.


	39. Chapter 39

Jared does his intended week of bed rest with enough bitching that Jensen is ready for him to go back to work when it is over. He complained about everything from having to lie down and do nothing to actually being able to get up and go to the bathroom when he needed, too.

“Please tell me that I’m not going to have to listen to you bitch like this through this whole pregnancy.” Jensen rolls over and stares at Jared.

“No, not once I can get out of this damn bed.” Jared snarks back.

“Well this is your last day and we have the appointment with Maria at 1:30 and the morning sickness has lessened and you are still taking the medicine on a regular basis. So I see this as a good thing. Remember you could be doing this for the next forever if this didn’t work.” Jensen reasons.

“I know but I have been taking care of the twins and myself since I had them and now I can’t do any of it and its nerve wracking. It makes me feel like I am worthless to them and you. Fucking hormones.” Jared says close to tears.

Jensen rolls closer to him and wraps his arm around him. “Jay, you’re not worthless. Just have a lot on your plate being pregnant with triplets. The twins and I both understand why you have been laying up here instead of with us. You couldn’t help it.” Jensen drops a kiss on his forehead.

“I just hate this.” Jared sobs.

“Ok well the kids are at school and I think we need to get up and get motivated. Let’s go take a bath and relax with each other.” Jensen pulls back from his embrace.

Jared reaches up and wipes his hand across his face and looks at Jensen with love. Jared doesn’t understand how he could have thought Jensen would have ever rejected him and the twins. He wished just one time that he would have really just rethought how he acted all those years ago. “Yeah let’s do that.”

Later that night Jared makes the supper that he feels he neglected for the week he was on bed rest. He doesn’t understand how some people can just sit and not do the things he feels are his duty for his family. Dr. Mandez had said to cut back on the Phenergan and see how he feels with less of it in his system. He is hoping the morning sickness is coming to an end. Anna pulls him out of his thoughts.

“Papa can I’s have more, please.” Anna says.

“Yes baby give me just a second.” Jared stands up from the table. He fills her plate back up and returns it to her. “Here you go baby.”

“Papa is you better now?” Bray asks.

“Yeah I am better than I was last week. And hopefully it stays this way.” Jared tells his son.

Jared has one last night at home before he goes back to work. He was thankful that Alona and the other employees were able to cover him until he was able to come back.

“Jay did you get a hold of Loretta about that appointment we missed?” Jensen asks him.

“Yes, she said that we could come in next week at the normal time and go from there.” Jared takes a bite of his food.

“You did tell her why we missed right?” Jensen asks.

“Yes, Jensen she knows I was sick.” Jared replies.

“Okay just making sure.” Jensen smiles.

Jared rolls his eyes at his husband getting a little irritated at the inquisition. He knows he means well but damn it he’s pregnant and grumpy.

“I done.” Anna draws him back to the table.

“Okay you can go play after you put your plate in the sink.” Jared tells her.

“Me too.” Comes from Bray next.

“Yes you too.” Jared lets him leave. He looks across the table at Jensen who is smiling at him. “What?”

“Oh nothing just saw the flash of irritation come across your face when I was asking you about the appointment.” Jensen cocks his head to one side. “You know I was just making sure you remembered to do it.”

“I’m pregnant not feeble.” Jared snips.

“I know Jay but you have been here all week and never let me know that it was rescheduled. I just wanted to make sure you were able to do it and when it was for.” Jensen tells him.

Jared huffs then sighs, “You knew I rescheduled it didn’t you.”

“I saw it on the notepad on your side of the bed.” Jensen smiles.

Jared glares at him, “Then why did you ask.”

“I think we need to get something set up so all that information is in one general location so we both know what’s going on when. Like one of those big desk calendars put it up somewhere and write it all down. And do a countdown of how far along you are; Kind of the countdown to the big day.” Jensen gets up and puts his plate in the sink. “I wasn’t testing you just wanted to get the idea out there to see what you think about it.”

Jared takes the last bite of his supper and drops the fork to plate, ticking off all the reasons that Jensen has a good idea. “Okay it’s a good idea. We can go get one tomorrow.” Jared concedes.

Jensen walks over drops a kiss on his forehead and picks up his plate depositing it into the sink with the rest of them. He walks back over to Jared and takes his hand pulling him from his chair and says, “Come on let’s go see what the kids are doing.”

\--J2--

Jared has made it out of his first trimester is off the Phenergan and keeping real food down. It feels like a good time to officially let everyone meet the twins and let the other cat out of the bag. He knows that pretty much everyone already knows he’s pregnant but might as well make it an official thing. He will go over it tonight at supper with Jensen. He thinks that in less than a month the twins will be four and four months after the triplets are born, they will be five. His life is speeding away from him in a blink of an eye and he doesn’t know where it is going, he thinks before he knows it that he will be delivering these three and shipping the twins off to school. Vicki’s preschool had been a god sent miracle for those two; they have been so much easier to send there then to their previous daycare. Jensen has stood by them as he said he would even though at times Jared feels like he is going to lose his mind in between everything. He is supposed to be getting ready for their appointment with Loretta, but he’s sitting on the bed crying. His hormones are giving him a run for his money today. It seems as if the world is trying to close in on him. He blows out a heavy breath and stands up to go to the bathroom. He looks at himself in the mirror, “Okay Jared this is just another day in your life. You can do this it’s just some baby emotions kicking your ass and trying to drive you crazy. Pull it together.” Jared closes his eyes and turns on the faucet, splashing cool water on his face.

“Jared, are you up here?” Jensen calls from the hall.

“Yeah, I’m in the bathroom getting ready.” Jared hollers back as he comes out of the bathroom.

“Are you about ready?” Jensen asks as he pulls him into a hug.

Jared relaxes into Jensen’s arms, shuttering as he falls into his husband’s embrace. “Hey are you okay?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah just a little out of sorts today. Woke up emotional.” Jared shakes his head.

“You want to fore go this appointment and reschedule it?” Jensen asks.

“No I’ll be okay. Just need to get my head on straight.” Jared replies. After the last session with Loretta he couldn’t help but cry for hours afterwards. It’s not so much that Loretta was harsh just that she had opened up deep wounds and he is hormonal.

“Come on Jay we can get through this, it’s just a bad day.” Jensen hugs him tighter. “Let’s get ready to go.” Jensen pulls back to look him in the eye.

“Yeah let’s get this done.” Jared pulls himself together and takes a deep breath. “Alright let’s go.”

The drive to Loretta’s is quiet and slightly tense with the way Jared is feeling. Loretta is waiting for them when they arrive.

“Come on boys.” Loretta says as they walk in the door. Settling into their chairs and looking at Loretta Jared huffs out a sigh.

“So I see that you have something’s going on in your head today Jared.” Loretta says.

“I woke up feeling off; All kinds of stuff running around my head. The twins are going to be four in less than a month and the triplets are going to born sometime in June then the twins are going to kindergarten and then five years old. It’s all jumbled up in my head. The day has been hard.” Jared frowns.

“What made this come on?” Loretta asks.

“I just woke up and it was there.” Jared tells her.

“Nothing has been going on that could of triggered this?” She asks.

“Just a lot of time on my hands at work and more time to think about everything, home is fine, Jensen and the kids have been doing well. It’s just me. My head just keeps running and it doesn’t want to stop.” Jared looks down at his hands.

“Well it sounds like you are dwelling on things you can’t change and your head is just running with it. Then couple that with all these hormones on top of that and it’s driving you crazy. I think what you need to do when this starts to happen is write your thoughts down in a journal. Vent them out and get them off your mind; so other than the emotions being on high how have the other aspects of life been going?” Loretta asks.

 

"It's been good for me I have been helping Jared with the kids and everything. Work has been normal and Jared isn't sick anymore so that is less of a worry." Jensen tells Loretta.

"Well that is a good thing. I do remember that last session was very emotional for both of you. How did it go when you got home?" Loretta asks.

"Well I was weepy for the rest of the day." Jared tells her.

"I was a little on edge because everything was raw. It was more real after we talked about it." Jensen says looking down at his hands in his lap.

"Those are normal reactions to have after the hard core session we had last time. Let's pick up from last time. Jensen when I asked why you felt it wasn't safe for Jared to get pregnant you said the one thing that ran on a loop was his death. Why is that a thought you home in on?" Loretta asks.

Jensen rubs his eyes as he looks down at his lap, "Because after our marriage, my mother had droned it into my head that if Jared got pregnant, he would die and either leave me all alone by myself or with a child to care for forever to remind me that he wasn't there anymore." Jensen clears his throat as he looks at Loretta.

"And how did that make you feel when you went home to Jared?" Loretta asks.

"Like that my whole world would die and if he got pregnant something bad would happen to him." Jensen says on a rush of air.

"And now that you know he can carry and survive?" Loretta asks.

Jensen holds a hand to his mouth for a second and tries to not break down, with his eyes closed he blows out a breath and sucks back in, " That I was stupid to let what my mother said rule mine and Jared's life then and I need to not let it hold me back now."

"No, not stupid honey, just so caught up in how you lived with the abuse you couldn't see beyond it." Loretta says, "I'll give you a breather. Okay Jared, when you think about what Jensen said about loosing you and any children you might have what goes through your mind?" Loretta asks.

"That I'm an idiot because I couldn't get past not having that or this," he rubs his hand over his stomach, "Not seeing past my own hurt to see what kind of pain Jensen was in when he denied even wanting kids. Upset because he could never tell me about the shit he went through with his family and he relied on Chris way more than he did me. I understand that Chris has always been there, but I'm his husband." Jared sighs.

"Just like I told Jensen, not an idiot honey, just caught up in your own feelings. Knowing what you really wanted but unable to have it. So Jensen how does that make you feel?" Loretta looks back at him.

"I know I was wrong going to Chris with everything but he knows damn near everything that ever happened to me with my family. He was the one who got me out of that shit and made me see I didn't have to keep living with it. He made me feel like I could have a real life without making me feel like I was destroying someone else's. He made me feel not worthless and gave me someone to love and he loved me back. He's the only family I have." Jensen looks over to the side as his tears roll down his face.

"I understand that now, but you never told me how bad it was for you growing up. I knew there was something off with your family, but I didn't know what. I thought it was the gay thing. And I only thought that because how your mom looked down her nose at me." Jared shakes his head.

"She's not my mom. Mom's don't treat their kids that way." Jensen says in a rush.

"I know Jen and I'm sorry." Jared says heart stricken.

"I don't need your damn pity." Jensen snaps back.

Loretta snaps to attention, "Ah, aha, ah, it's not pity Jensen it's his feeling for you. About the things that happened to you not you."

Jensen bows his head. He hates this shit and wishes they could just drop it all together.

"What's going through that head of yours Jensen?" Loretta says as she sees the play of emotion on Jensen's face.

"That I hate this shit and wish it was over and done with." Jensen glares at her.

"Well it's about over for today, but we aren't done." Loretta says, but thinks to herself 'not by a long shot.'

"Okay, let's change this up a little bit. Relax before we head out. So the twins are going to be turning four shortly. What are your plans for celebrating that milestone in life?" Loretta asks.

"Well they have been able to make friends in preschool, so we will probably do something with those kids and then have a family party, too." Jared replies.

Jensen slowly draws air in trying to calm down. "I have been trying to see about getting my dad out of the nursing home for the day so he can see his grandchildren. And I've been talking to a lawyer about getting him turned over to my, I guess for all purposes into my custody. It's going pretty well so far. My mother doesn't love him and he does so much better when he gets to see me." Jensen says with a smile.

"Well that seems like something that makes you happy." Loretta comments.

"I love my dad he tried before he got sick and couldn't anymore. He kept her from hitting me." Jensen looks away from Jared and Loretta.

Jared gets up and kneels in front of Jensen taking his hands into his, "Hey happy notes, it's getting better Jen, we are getting better. She is not allowed to keep this from you. It's for us and the kids." Jared kisses Jensen knuckles.

"I know Jay, its just a lot to deal with." Jensen smiles at him.

"Okay our day is done. Let's say we will wait until after the twins' birthday so you can focus on family and relax without adding this on top of it. Let's say October 12th as your next appointment, same time unless something comes up before then." Loretta says standing up.

"Okay sounds good. Thank you Loretta." Jared says using Jensen to help push up from his position.

"I know I don't show it but I appreciate what you are doing for us Loretta." Jensen blushes.

"It's okay, baby everybody needs someone to vent to. I just get paid to listen and give my two cents." Loretta says as she wraps her hand around his shoulder leading them out of the office. After they leave she locks the door up and walks back into her office wondering if Jensen would ever get to a point where he didn't feel so alone even though he is standing in a room full of people that love and care for him. Just sitting in the room with him makes her heart and soul hurt.


	40. Chapter 40

The twins had their party with school friends the weekend before; now Jared and Jensen are getting things ready for the family party. Jensen will be leaving in about twenty minutes to pick his dad up from his new home. His mother didn't fight him one bit over getting rights to take over his dad's care. She had basically handed everything over on a silver platter and Jensen graciously accepted all responsibility. It was a new feeling of peace to be able to have his dad when ever he wanted to see him or bring him home to the house.

"Hey I'm going to be leaving soon to go get Dad. Do you need me to pick anything up?" Jensen asks as he walks into the kitchen.

"No. Everything is about ready to go. Nobody is supposed to show up until around 4 o'clock. Megan is bringing the kids back with her around then. Are we keeping your Dad overnight?" Jared asks.

"Yes that way he can spend some time with the kids by himself." Jensen replies.

"He is doing so much better now than when you first brought him home with you." Jared remarks.

Jensen thinks back on that first time, "Yeah the only thing he did that first day was shake. I think it's easier on him to be able to spend time with us here and not always locked away in that old home he was in." Jensen looks fondly at Jared.

"I know it does you good to have him here. And I can tell he loves being around the kids." Jared smiles at Jensen.

Jensen walks over to Jared and gives him a kiss and pulls back from him, "I will be back in about an hour."

"I'll see you when you get back." Jared bends back in for another kiss before turning back to his potato salad.

Jensen thinks about his life now compared to what it was over a year ago, he has Jared back with two beautiful kids, triplets on the way, and his dad. These are all things that he never thought he would have now or ever again. He is grateful for all of these things. Having these people in his life has made everything seem so much brighter than they used to be.

Jensen walks into the facility to pick up his dad, "Hey Carrie how's he doing today?"

"He is actually really well. He was able to feed himself this morning and get almost all the way dressed before he got to tired. He is waiting for you out on the patio. He has his bag with him." Carrie smiles at Jensen.

Jensen looks up from the sign out book, "That makes me feel so much better about him being here then where he used to be. He is doing so much better." He waves bye to Carrie as he leaves to go get his dad. Jensen walks out and finds him sitting in the sun with his eyes closed. "Hey Dad."

Alan raises his eyes to his son and gives him a lope-sided grin. He might not have gotten a lot of his mobility back but he looks so much healthier from two months ago when he was transferred here. "Hi Jensen." He says slowly, with a slight slur.

"Are you ready to go?" Jensen asks.

"Waiting on you." Alan replies.

Jensen smiles at his Dad."Smart ass."

Alan snickers at his son. "Kids and Jared doing okay?"

"Yeah kids are great. Jared is getting big, but don't tell him I said that though he'd kill me." Jensen replies.

"You said big not fat. There is a difference between the two." Alan replies.

"Not when your pregnant. He can be really touchy about that sometimes." Jensen laughs as his dad looks back at him. After he calms back down he asks, "You do have everything you will need right?"

"Yes it's all in the bag." Alan reassures him.

"Okay let's go then." Jensen pushes his dad out of the home without another thought.

Jensen helps his dad into the car and puts his chair in the trunk. He wonders how his mother so easily left his dad go like she had never cared for him at all. He understands that she is a heartless bitch from personal experience. He decides not to dwell on it and just take his dad back to the house.

 

J2J2J2J2J2J2J2J2J2

Donna stands by the bushes watching Jensen drive away with her nearly useless husband. She left Jensen take him because he was of no use to her. He was just a thing that was draining off money that could be used for better endeavors. Like being a new thorn in her son's side. Donna has been keeping tabs on her extended family and those new babies seem to be cooking up very well. She wishes Jensen had turned out to be different; more like her, his sister and brother, normal.

She sighs as she walks over to the waiting car. "Follow them."

"Yes, ma'am." The driver replies.

When they arrive at her son's home they park down the street from the house. She observes Jensen helping Alan out of the car and into the house. Waiting well over an hour for everyone else to show up. Even that dog that always stood up for her pathetic son with his bastard. The house is full of people and she thinks the time is right for her entrance.

"Take me up there." Donna says. "Wait for me here." Donna walks up to the door and knocks.

J2J2J2J2J2J2J2J2

At the knock at the door Jared looks at Jensen wondering who else could be showing up.

"I'll get it. You two keep doing your thing." Chris says as he walks to the door.

Chris opens the door and is surprised to see the wicked witch of Texas standing there. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Why my husband is here for our grandchildren's birthday. Thought I would kill two birds with one stone and visit all three at once." Donna says smirking at Chris.

Chris shuts the door, walking Donna away from said door. "I don't fucking think so. They are doing just fine without your ass sticking your nose into it."

"My family to see." Donna retorts.

"Not after what you have put Jensen or his dad through. I won't let you near them." Chris stands steadfast in front of her.

"Always the guard dog. Please tell my son and husband that I said hello will you." Donna turns from Chris and walks away.

"Bitch I wouldn't tell them if it was your dying wish." Chris gives her a flying bird as a good bye.

Chris takes a breath and closes his eyes. He startles when he hears the door to the house open.

"Who was it Chris ?" Jensen asks.

Chris turns to Jensen and smiles, " Let's talk about it later. Nothing to worry about right now."

Jensen looks at Chris like he's crazy. "If you say so."

"Come on, Jen. Your kids are having a birthday party and your dad is here." Chris walks over and throws his arm over Jensen's shoulder moving them both back into the house.

After the party and everything was settling down Jensen pulls Chris away from Steve into the study. "So do you want to tell me what was going on earlier?"

"Well our least favorite mother was at the door." Chris tells him.

"What the fuck did she want?" Jensen asks.

"I don't know but I think she's up to something. I don't know what but we know she doesn't do anything out of the kindness of her black heart." Chris says as he leans back against the desk.

Jensen closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, "Damn it, why can't she just leave me alone."

"No clue but I think we need to keep our guards up because you know her when we least expect it she'll strike." Chris walks over to Jensen and squeezes his shoulder. "But this time we are ready for her shit and we will beat her at her shitty games."

"Shit, shit, shit. Chris I can't keep doing this shit with her. It slowly kills me." Jensen looks sidelong at Chris.

"You have all of us Jen. We will help." Chris says.

"I just don't want to do it is all. Things have been going so well for us and I don't want her to ruin it all." Jensen pulls at his hair as a paces back and forth.

"I promise Jen I will be here to help like I have always been." Chris stops Jensen frantic roaming.

"I have to talk to Jared about this." Jensen walks out the door. Jensen comes back dragging Jared with him.

"Jen what's going on? Your kind of freaking me out." Jared looks confused.

"The knock on the door earlier was Donna and she is up to no good. I don't know what but it's not something good." Jensen rubs his temples.

"Well she just gave us a heads up and we will be waiting for whatever kind of shit she throws at us. We have a great support system and we can do this." Jared pulls Jensen into his arms.

"I fucking hope so." Jensen exhales.

"Jared is right we can do this. No holds barred. Fight dirty like she does." Chris pats him on the back.

"I hate this." Jensen whines.

"We can work with this because we know she's lurking waiting to jump out of the dark corner and attack." Jared says.

"He's right, Jen. We can beat her to the pass and stop it before she gets started." Jared hugs him tighter.

"Okay." Jensen draws in a deep breath. "I can work with this and it will be fine. Let's get back to our family and enjoy them."

"Sounds good to me." Jared kisses his temple as he pulls him back to the family.


	41. Chapter 41

"Jay, what are you doing?" Jensen says as he walks into the house and hears loud banging from the kitchen.

"You don't want to know." Jared grunts out.

Jensen stands at the doorway as Jared tries to get a rack for coffee cups to stay attached to the underside of the cabinet and watching it fall back down to the counter. "Do you need some help?" Jensen asks.

"I really just wish I could get close enough to be able to see what I'm doing and be able to get this to stay up here." Jared huffs as he bends forward to see if he can see the screws.

"And might I ask why you must put this up right now?" Jensen walks over to where he is standing.

"Because I want the most used cups right here so I can reach them." Jared slumps against the counter. "Do you even realize that I am as big as I was when I was nine months along with the twins and I am only seven months right now. And there is only one more in here." Jared points to his bulging middle.

"Jay, it's only coffee cups." Jensen tries to reason.

"It's only coffee cups but I can't reach them. The only way I can get any thing out of these cupboards is if I turn sideways. My stomach is in the way. Not even with my arm reach can I reach." Jared whines.

"Honey, it's only two months." Jensen inhales and his eyes get big and he tries to backpedal. " And I know that seems like a really long time with carrying triplets but when your done we will have three new babies to love." Jensen says as he holds up three fingers smiling sheepishly.

Jared laughs as he looks at Jensen's face. "You know I can't help loving you when you try and cover up for something you say." Jared reaches for Jensen's hand. Jensen steps between Jared's legs as he gets pulled to him. 

"I don't know how to make this any easier for you. And sometimes my mouth gets ahead of my head." Jensen looks at Jared.

"Yes sometimes that happens. It's just frustrating that I can't do things that I could do last month. I have some long ass arms Jen and I can't even get into these with out turning sideways. And don't even expect me to get the stuff under the counter. The twins are becoming use to having me calling for them to get the pots." Jared shakes his head.

Jensen kisses Jared on the mouth. "I know that this doesn't help but we could get new cabinets. Those ones that pull out." Jensen smiles.

"No because by the time they get installed I won't need them. And why spend the extra money." Jared shakes his head.

"It was just a thought." Jensen swipes Jared's bangs off his forehead.

"Yeah but I'm going to go on leave soon and there goes my income." Jared looks down.

"Hey we have already had this discussion. You know I can support us. You don't even have to go back to work after you have these three." Jensen tells Jared as he reaches down and caresses his belly.

"I know but I need to work. It gives me some other purpose besides being a... mommy." Jared says perplexed.

"Your not a 'mommy'. Your a daddy. With some 'mommy' extras." Jensen says.

"Yeah a uterus and lactating nipples." Jared rolls his eyes.

"Well it could be worse you could actually be a woman and never had found this gay man to love you." Jensen says.

"Well that makes it all better than. Okay can you please put this up so I can put the cups there." Jared points over his shoulder.

"Yes my love." Jensen says as he steps out of the way so Jared can move over.

Later that night after the kids are home, fed, bathed and in their beds Jensen walks into the bedroom to find Jared sitting against the headboard crying quietly.

"Jay, what's wrong baby?" Jensen asks.

"This day sucks." Jared responds.

"Why does it suck?" Jensen sits down beside him.

"It's just that every time I think I'm getting a grip on this whole thing something else happens and I realize that it's not the same as it used to be. Like I'm not alone with the twins by myself anymore and that I'm pregnant and we are together and I am doing this with you this time." Jared wipes the tears off his face.

"Well we are doing this together this time and the twins are doing just fine. You only have two months left on this round even though that does feel like forever for you at this point it's not really all that long." Jensen looks over at his husband.

"Yeah but I'm fat and I have problems already. It's just going to get worse, next I'm going to need a crane to get out of bed. God forbid one of the kids would want me to play with them. We need to talk about something else too. I think this is going to be my last pregnancy because I can't do this again. This is five kids in two pregnancy and the next one might be even bigger and I would be on bed rest as soon as your dick leaves me and I couldn't do that. Please be okay with that Jen, please." Jared cries.

"Oh, Jay if that's what will make you feel better that's what you will do no questions asked." Jensen pulls him into his arms hugging him tight.

"I just know that I always wanted kids but now that I'm going to have five in two pregnancies I don't want anymore. Five is enough." Jared says wide eyed.

"Your scared aren't you?" Jensen asked.

"Yes I am. I'm having triplets, Jen. I'm scared shitless. It was hard with the twins; giving birth was a bitch. By the time I got Bray out I didn't care if I was done because I wanted to die. I felt like I was dying. But then they gave me my babies and it wasn't as monumental of a pain. Until they took them to the nursery and it all came back. But then I was slipping into oblivion, I was hemorrhaging. One of the placentas had ripped my uterus when it came out. It happens sometimes." Jared shakes his head, scooting closer to Jensen.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this ?" Jensen pulls his head back to look at Jared.

"It wasn't in the front of my head. It's just the closer it gets to being time the more I think about everything. The more real it gets. This is the easy part." Jared says rubbing his baby bulge.

Jensen lays his hand on Jared's belly rubbing over it as he gathers his thoughts, thinking about how Jared could of just had his help if he would of stayed the last time, could of died if it had of been a worse tear or never been able to have another child or that he would of never known about Anna and Bray, but is very thankful that the conference was in a hotel that Jared was a manager. "Jay it all happens for reason's we don't know about and this will be just fine." Jensen kisses the top of Jared's head. "Let's get some sleep."

"Yeah let's do that" Jared wraps as much of himself around Jensen as he can dropping a kiss to his T-shirt cover chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning after Jensen gets the kids to school and goes to talk to Jeff about working from home for awhile he walks into the bedroom where Jared is still sleeping. He stands, staring at his sleeping, pregnant husband wondering how he was so lucky to have all of them now after being so unlucky to lose them. He strips down to his boxers and crawls into bed kissing Jared awake. Jared gasps as Jensen rubs up against him. 

"Jen." Jared gasps. " Do you even know how horny and uncomfortable I am ?"

"I can help with the horny part." Jensen says kissing Jared across his collarbone. "We will just have to work with the uncomfortable part but I think that the horny part will help."

Jared surges up, "Oh, let me pee first." 

Jensen watches Jared waddle to the in suite bathroom and snickers as Jared says how good it feels to pee. He lays back against the pillows and pulls off his boxers flinging them in the direction of the hamper, then lazily strokes himself waiting for Jared to get done in the bathroom. He watches the lust cross Jared's face as he reappears in the door.

"You don't even know how sinful you look sitting there." Jared says as he stands by the bed. He had taken the time to get undressed.

"Jay, you are so beautiful. I don't know how I couldn't of seen this." Jensen says stretching his hand out toward him.

Jared takes his hand and maneuvers his way back into the bed. Jensen turns onto his side and wraps his arms around Jared, devouring his husbands mouth, reaching down to grasp his cock and moving down to suck on his newly forming breasts.

Jared shutters as Jensen latches on to his sensitive nipple and rubs across the other one. He had to grab onto Jensen's shoulders when it shot sparks straight to his dick. "Jen, if you want me to last for any amount of time don't do that for too long." 

"It's okay, Jay. If this is what makes it good for you, I'm fine with it." Jen says looking at him through his lashes. 

"I don't want it to end like that." Jared says.

"Who said I was stopping there." Jensen says as he goes back to what he was doing.

Jared moans as Jensen laves his tongue over his other nipple then kisses his way down over his babies under the tight skin. He wraps his hand around Jared cock as he reaches for the lube that appears beside his head. Setting it down by Jared's hip he takes the head of the leaking cock into his mouth, Jared bucks up into the moist heat that is now surrounding him. "OhHHH, Jeenn." 

Jensen bobs up and down the stiffness. Then he pulls up to tongue at the slit, dropping back down to suck at the head before sucking him back down his throat while Jared says his name over and over. He finally stops after a painful pulling at his hair starts. "Are you okay, Jay ?"

"It's all good but if you don't fucking prep me and fuck me soon it's all gonna be over and I'mma gonna go to sleep." Jared says as he caresses his cheek.

"Ok, I got you." Jensen picks up the lube and coats his fingers as he scoots between Jared's spread legs; grabbing his own prick as it jumps. He bends forward and kisses Jared as he rubs his middle finger around the tight muscle. Jared gasps as Jensen plunges into him, slowly working him open. Soon three fingers are working back and forth in him and spreading him open. 

"Enough. I can't take anymore. Now Jen." Jensen looks down at the wide blown pupils of Jared's eyes and contemplates how they should do this.

"Do you think you could do it like this ?" Jensen asks.

Jared shakes his head, "No on our sides."

Jensen moves out from between his legs and allows Jared to get comfortable before he lays down behind him. Jared raises his leg to allow Jensen more room, Jensen takes a pillow and rests it between Jared's legs, then presses closer to him, taking his dick and pressing it to Jared's hole. "Ready, Jay."

"That's a stupid fucking question." Jared says as he pushes back onto Jensen's cock, making them both gasp.

Jensen takes that as his cue to get this two man show on the road. He starts to press into the warm heat that surrounds him with more purpose. Pushing grunts and moans out of his husband. "Jen faster please." Jared moans.

"Kind of hard to this way. Hold on." Jensen nudges Jared's hip over some and moves the pillow, planting his knee between Jared's legs, supporting his weight on the one hand. "You have to tell me if I'm hurting you." The new position gives him more leverage to piston into Jared. 

"Okay, Jen." Jared moans as the new feelings course through him from the change in angle.

Jensen starts to move with renewed vigor since he has more room to do so. 

Jared wasn't sure if the position would work until his dick started to drag across the sheets as Jensen plowed into him and hit his prostate. It didn't take long before he was seeing stars and groaning out his release. Jensen had had him going for to long for it to last. 

As Jared tighten around him Jensen continued to move with purpose to chase his release right along behind his husband. Jared whines as he becomes sensitive causing him to flex around Jensen and pulls him into bliss. Jensen stops himself before collapsing on top of Jared, moving off to the side and pulling Jared out of his own wet spot. 

"How was that ?" Jensen asks.

"Im'ma gonna sleep now." Jared yawns.

"You do that. I'll be here when you wake up." Jensen kisses Jared's cheek as he gets up to get a washcloth to clean Jared up. By the time he gets back Jared is out and doesn't even feel Jensen clean him up. Crawling into bed he pulls the blanket over them both and burrows into Jared's side drifting off himself.


	42. Chapter 42

Donna looks up from the papers she got from the private investigator that she hired to try and get dirt on Jensen and Jared , " Yes, what do you want ?"

"Ma'am, Mr. James is here." Her housekeeper says.

"Show him in." Donna says.

A tall well dressed man walks in to the office. "Mrs. Ackles I hope you were able to find what you were looking for ?" 

"I want you to look a little deeper into both of them, because I really need extreme information. I need dirt on them. It will be the only way I will be able to take over everything they have. I want my grandchildren. I refuse to let them poison them all." Donna says disdainfully.

"I have went back years on both of them and I haven't found anything except what you have." Mr. James says.

"With every dime I have given you; you have given me shit to do what I need to do. I need you to do what I am paying you for. Get dirty, Mr. James because this is dirty. I don't care how you do it but I need you to find that dirt." Donna looks hatefully at him.

"Mrs. Ackles, I don't think I am going to find anything on them. I followed the path that Jared took when he left. And Jensen, the only thing he did was drink like he owned the distillery. I have looked and dug." Mr. James shakes his head.

"Mr. James, do you understand that those two men will have five children in their hands and their influence could affect how they turn out. Five more of them in this world." Donna sneers.

"Mrs. Ackles, I will look but I highly doubt I will find anything." Mr. James says.

"Work hard Mr. James, if you want to earn your keep." Donna snickers.

Mr. James leaves. Donna sits and stares out the window, wishing she had more influence over Jensen. She had tried to get him to change, almost everything she had done just made it worse. Maybe she should of got rid of him a long time ago. Maybe that's what she should do now.

_------------------------_--------------------_-----------------------_------------

Jared rolls over and grabs his phone off the nightstand, "Hello."

"Hey, Jared. It's Robin." She says.

"Hi, Robin. What's up?" Jared asks.

"This might sound weird but there has been some guy hanging around asking questions about you and the kids. I didn't tell him anything. I just thought you should know." Robin tells him.

"What do you mean asking questions about us ?" Jared asks.

"Just questions. I told him I couldn't talk about my customers, that it was against policy to discuss those things without police paperwork. He wouldn't give me his name." Robin says.

"Have you ever seen this person before ?" Jared asks perplexed.

"No never. And I refused to tell him anything. You guys have been gone for a while. That's why I decided to call and make sure you are all okay." Robin says worried.

"Yeah we are all fine. I'm huge. Jensen and I have worked out our differences. The twins have adjusted extremely well. I have less than seven weeks to go with these three." Jared tells her.

"That's cool. Did you find out their sexes?" Robin asks.

"No they are packed in there too tight. I really don't care as long as they are healthy." Jared replies.

"That's cool. I can understand how that would be a problem. Anna and Bray have adjusted well to the move?" Robin inquires.

"Yeah they are doing great. I am so glad I have them to help me right now. They are so excited about the babies. Jensen has adjusted well with all of this. I am glad I'm here." Jared wistfully replies.

"That's really good Jared. I'm really happy for you. I'm glad you have that back." Robin says. "Well I have kids to take care of. Let me know about those three you have cooking."

"I will Robin. Thank you for letting me know about this. I really appreciate it." Jared says.

"Your welcome. I just wanted to make sure all of you are okay." Robin reiterates. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Robin. Thanks." Jared says.

"Your welcome. Bye." Robin hangs up the phone.

Jared sits back and wonders why someone would be digging around about him and the kids. He will tell Jensen about it later. He crawls out of bed and waddles to the bathroom. 

He thinks about what this means. It's a puzzle that he can't figure out. Jensen and he have been back together for almost eight months. Now someone is digging around, wanting to know about him and the kids. 

He waddles back to the bed, picking up his phone and calls Jensen. 

"Hey, Jay. Something wrong ?" Jensen asks.

"No, maybe. I just got a very weird call from Robin. She said some guy was asking her questions about me and the kids." Jared informs his husband.

"What do you mean ?" Jensen asks confused.

"Just some guy. He didn't give her a name just asked questions. She told him that it was against policy to give out any info on customers. After that he left." Jared tells him.

"What? That doesn't make any sense? Why would someone be asking about you and the kids at your old daycare? " Jensen asks.

" I don't have a clue. Just thought I should let you know because it is weird and confusing." Jared says rubbing across his stomach as the babies fight for room.

He must of made a noise because Jensen asks "Are you all right?"

"Yeah these kids are just fighting over declining space. They don't have much left in there." Jared moans. 

"I know but it isn't much longer. Okay, I don't mean to cut this short but I'm going to see if I can get ahold of Robin and see if I can get some kind of description of that guy. Don't need anyone snooping around you three. Our lives are no one else's business." Jensen says.

"Okay. I love you. And I will see you tonight." Jared says.

"I love you, too. Don't worry about this. I will take care of it. Bye."

"Bye. " Jared says hanging up the phone.

\----------------*---------------------*--------------------*-----------------*--------

Jensen sits back in his chair wondering who would be trying to ask questions about his family and the only person that would come to mind would be his mother. She would be the only person that would be trying to mess in their lives. He picks his phone back up and dreads making the call but knows it's the only way to find out.

"Hello Jensen. What would be the pleasure of you calling me?" Donna asks.

"Well I just got a call from Jared and it was kind of weird. He got a call from someone and it seems that someone has someone asking questions about him and my kids. Would you know anything about that? " Jensen asks. 

"Why on earth would I want to know anything about him for? Is this the only reason you called me? To harass me about that fag? " Donna slurs. 

"Jared is my husband. I would advise you to watch how you talk about him to me. I wouldn't put it past you to interfere in things that have nothing to do with you. Like my husband and kids. So I would advise you to leave us alone. We want nothing to do with you and I want you to stop this nonsense. Leave well enough alone. " Jensen says hotly.

"But Jensen dear, you are my son. Do I not have the right to worry? You being in that scandalous relationship. What about those poor children? How messed up they are going to be when they grow up? " Donna jabs at the open wound she caused. 

"You need to not worry about my family; there is nothing wrong with us. My children will turn out better than any children you ever had influence over. Including myself. Jared and I will not let you taint them with your hate." Jensen tells her. "Goodbye." Jensen wishes he could slam the phone down but he can't. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Donna sits back and laughs about the exchange she had with her son. It tickles her that she can get such a rise out of him by just saying a few words. She walks through her house to the adjoining rooms she had made for the children she hopes to rip away from them. 

Three oak cribs sit in a half arch with everything that would be needed for them. She walks over to one of the dresser and pulls out a onesies and rubs it against her face. She puts it back down and walks to the cribs running her hand across each one, walking into the next room, she sits down on the bed made up for a little princess and stares across to the little bed made up for a little prince and thinks how well she will do with her new children. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen is furious when he hangs up from his mother. How could this bitch have the gall to do this. This is his life and she needs to keep her bigoted nose out of it. Even now as a grown man she still caused him so much grief. He wishes she would just leave them alone. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, Mr. James have you brought me good news." Donna says.

"I am sorry, Mrs. Ackles but I can not continue with this venture any longer. Your reasons for doing this are unethical and deceitful. It goes against my honor to continue in this matter." Mr. James tells her grimly.

"Well that's too bad as I have already paid you for your services. You will continue with this venture until I see fit for you to stop." Donna replies.

"On that matter ma'am I have all of your money ready to return to you. All 50,000 dollars." Mr. James reaches into his pocket and removes a thick envelope and extends his arm out to her. 

"I do not want that. I want you to do your job. Now I want you to go find me something about my children. I need this matter resolved. " Donna stands from her place by the pool, holding her arm in front of her, gun in hand.

"I am sorry but I will not be able to do that ma'am. I do wish to let you know I am not scared of your gun. I was a military man and have been trained to deal with this situation." Mr. James informs her. 

"Well I guess you can deal with this then." Donna says as she fires on him.

Mr. James is forced to protect himself from this crazy woman. He hasn't been able to figure out what exactly is wrong with her but he will not allow her to kill him for this pettiness. Her shot hits him in the shoulder. He fires once hitting her in the chest. Donna falls in to the pool. He walks over to see if she is still alive as the maid runs out shouting about calling the police.


	43. Chapter 43

 

When the police and paramedics show up at the Ackles estate, they find Donna on the side of the pool, bleeding profusely. Mr. James is sitting back in the lounger pressing a towel to his shoulder. As the paramedics work on Donna the police talk to him.

"What happened here?" The officer asks him.

"She had me looking into her son and his husband. I came by earlier today and she demanded I find more "dirt" on them. I left and thought about it. I came back and told her I could not do this any longer. I tried to return her fee she paid me, she refused to take it back. She stood up, pointed a gun at me and fired; I returned fire, hitting her in the chest, then she fell into the pool. The maid called the police and I helped pull Mrs. Ackles out of the pool. The maid started CPR and I retreated to this spot." Mr. James explains. 

"Why was she wanting dirt on her kid?" The officer inquires.

"Her son and partner are expecting triplets. She wanted to try and take the babies and the other two children from them." Mr. James tells him. 

At that moment the other ambulance arrives and comes to check on Mr. James. 

"I will check back with you at the hospital. I am Detective McCain." He walks away as they rush Donna away.

Det. McCain walks over to the maid who seems to be holding her own very well. " Ma'am, if I could ask you a few questions?" 

"Yes, sir." she says.

"What happened here?" he asks.

"I was in the house and I heard shots, I came out and saw Mr. James standing by the pool with his gun and Mrs. Ackles in the pool, he helped me pull her out of the water. She was bleeding pretty bad, but still breathing. When she stopped I started CPR. And then you all showed up. I don't know who shot first." the maid says.

"You seems very calm." Det. McCain says.

"I have seen many things while working here." the maid says.

"We can talk about those things later. Stay close, Miss. Can I get your name? " Det. McCain asks as he takes out his notebook.

"Yes, it's Mary Cameron." Mary says. 

"Miss. Cameron, is there anyone else in the house?" Det. McCain asks.

"Not right now. Just me and Mrs. Ackles." Mary replies. 

McCain walks over to the CSI tech and asks if they would be able to get what they need. He walks back to his car and heads to the hospital. He does not understand why Ackles would be so interested in taking her son's kids. It would be something he would have to find out. 

"Dispatch, this is Det. McCain badge number AT 34877. I am headed to the hospital to follow up on the shooting at the Ackles resident." McCain radios in.

"Copy that Det. McCain. Just let us know when you are free again." Dispatch replies. 

McCain drives to the hospital wondering what all is happening with this case. The Ackles are high society and there was never a problem as far as he knew. But who actually knew what could of happened behind those closed doors. 

When he gets to the hospital he checks on Ackles, who seems to be in surgery. James is also in surgery getting the bullet removed from his shoulder. He hangs around waiting for information on them. He wonders back to his car and looks into James and Ackles. James is a veteran and has been a Private Investigator since shortly after his discharge. He finds that everything in his record is spotless. Ackles doesn't have much in her file either. He will most definitely have to talk to them. If Ackles makes it. 

 

______________________________________________________________________________

"Anna and Bray, supper is done." Jared says from the kitchen. The kids come running from the living room. " Slow down."

"Daddy what is it? It smells reawly good." Bray says.

"Spaghetti and garlic bread." Jared replies.

"Oh my God, that smells so good." Jensen walks up to Jared and kisses him. 

"Papa that's gross. Stop it." Anna squeals.

"I am just showing Daddy how much I love him." Jensen says as he walks over to kiss the kids on the head. 

As they set down and dig into their meal, there is a heavy knock at the door. 

"I'll get it. Just eat." Jensen says as he gets up.

Opening the door to a man with a police officer behind him catches Jensen off guard. 

"Mr. Ackles ?" Det. McCain asks.

"Yes." Jensen says nervously.

"Mr. Ackles, I am Det. McCain. There was an incident earlier today at your mother's estate. She was shot and is in the I.C.U. unit at Austin General. She is in Critical condition. It is touch and go right now." McCain says.

"What are you saying?" Jensen asks dumbfounded.

"If I could can I ask you a few questions?" McCain asks.

"Yes come in. We can go into my office." Jensen opens the door wider. "Let me go say something to my husband."

Jensen walks back into the kitchen dazed. "Jared can I talk to you for a moment?" 

"Jensen what is it?" Jared asks slightly scared.

Jensen walks into the hallway. Jared follows behind Jensen. "There was a shooting at my mother's today. She was shot and is in the hospital. The police are here to ask me some questions." 

"Do they think you did it?" Jared asks.

"I hope not. I hate her but not bad enough to hurt my own family." Jensen says.

"You better go talk to them. I love you." Jared kisses him.

"I love you, too." Jensen says as he releases Jared.

Jensen walks to the living room and has the detective and officer follow him to his office. They settle into the office.

"How did this happen?" Jensen asks.

"Well from what we are getting Mrs. Ackles had a private eye trying to find information about you and your husband. He had a change of heart and tried to give her back the fee she paid him. At this point, she refused the money and told him, 'he would continue with his investigation' and he refused again. She proceeded to pull a gun and shot him. He then pulled his gun and returned fire, hitting her in the chest." McCain tells Jensen. 

"Well, she gets what she deserves." Jensen says.

"Mr. Ackles, why would you say something like that?" McCain asks.

"She was never a woman who treated her homosexual son and his husband with much respect. Let alone what I dealt with when I was a teenage. Do you have a clue as to why she was nosing into our lives?" Jensen asks as he rubs the back of his neck. 

"She was trying to get enough dirt on you to take your kids away." McCain says. "Would you have an idea why she would want to do that?"

"Because I am homosexual and my husband is a carrier. She doesn't want us to "influence" our children with our "disease". That is her problem with us." Jensen drops his head into his hands.

Jared walks into Jensen's office as he finishes his sentence. "The kids are playing. I wanted to know what is going on." 

Jensen holds his hand out to Jared. Jared walks over to the couch and sits down beside him. " So what is going on?" 

"My mother being a stupid bitch like normal." Jensen replies.

"Mrs. Ackles has been investigating both of you to try and remove your children from your custody." McCain tells Jared.

"What?!" Jared exclaims.

"Jared don't get upset, please. She is in the hospital and if we are lucky, she won't make it." Jensen says coldly.

"Mr. Ackles, I take it your relationship with your mother is unstable?" McCain asks.

"It was never good. She has been a bitch since birth. I have always been her punching bag. Literally and figuratively." Jensen replies.

"And this was never reported ? Why was that ? " McCain asks.

"My dad would always take care of me as much as he could until he got sick. And I left right after I graduated high school. She disowned me a long time ago. I had to fight her for everything. She sees me as diseased for my relationship with Jared. Wants my kids because we are openly gay and she doesn't want that to be an influence on our children. There will be no love loss if she doesn't make it." Jensen squeezes Jared's hand.

"It seems to be self-defense on Mr. James's part. Everything will be investigated. I will be in touch. Thank you, Mr. Ackles." McCain says as he stands.

Jensen stands and shakes the offered hand and walks the detective to the door. He slowly walks back to his office. He looks at Jared standing by the window. He walks up to him and wraps his arms around him.

"What the fuck, Jensen? That crazy bitch was trying to take our kids. I wouldn't put it passed her to try kidnapping." Jared turns to look at Jensen.

"I know Jared." Jensen closes his eyes. " But she is taken care of hopefully and we will never have to worry again." 

"What about your brother and sister? Do you think they will carry out her plans for her? " Jared asks.

"No they are to caught up in their own shit. I, no we are just a thorn in their side when they run into us on the street. We probably don't even register in their daily lives. And we don't need them, our lives are fine without their interference." Jensen hugs Jared to him.

"I know Jensen but it just doesn't seem fair that all of this happens and we can't get away from it." Jared steps back from Jensen.

"I know it is frustrating, but we'll get past this and she won't bother us again." Jensen steps back up to Jared .

"How can you be so sure about that? She has always found a way to make your life hell and the only way that you got around it was to leave. Hopefully you are right and we don't have to deal with this anymore." Jared says. " I am going to go check on the kids." 

~~~~~~~~~~~`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Det. McCain walks into the hospital and goes straight up to I.C.U. to talk to Ackles doctor. 

"I am here to talk to Mrs. Ackles doctor." He says as he flashes his badge.

"One moment please. I will get Dr. Tesin." She picks up the phone and pages the doctor.

McCain waits for around ten minutes before a middle aged man in scrubs walks up to him and extends his hand. "I am Dr. Tesin. How can I help you today?"

"I am wondering about the condition of Mrs. Ackles." McCain says.

"Still touch and go right now. She has extensive damage to her chest. Right now we have her in a medically induce a coma. Hopefully it will give her body time to heal. I am not all that sure if it will do any good though. She coded three times during surgery." Tenis says.

"Okay. How about James?" McCain asks.

"He on the other hand is doing extremely well. He didn't have as bad of a wound. You would be able to talk to him within the hour." Tenis replies.

"If you would like to wait I will have a nurse come and get you when he is set up in his room." Tenis says.

"I will just wait here." McCain replies.

McCain sits in waiting room until one of the nurses escorts him to James's room.

"Hello, Mr. James how are you feeling? " McCain asks as he enters the room.

"I have had better days." James replies.

"So what kinds of things has Ackles been having you do?" McCain asks.

"I followed them a few times, talked to old neighbors, friends, places of employment. Normal stuff. She got extremely mad when I couldn't find anything on them. She told me dig deeper. There isn't anything on these guys. They had a separation for awhile but they have seemed to have figured their stuff out. Hell, they are going to be having triplets soon. She just wanted to hurt them. I couldn't be apart of that. So I decided for my own well being I was going to step away and return her money. She refused and she shot me. And I shot back. She didn't get her way and she didn't like it." James looks up from his lap.

"So she was unstable when you went to talk to her?" McCain asks.

"Unstable is an understatement. Down right crazy is more like it. Do you know Jensen Ackles had to fight a custody battle to get control of his father's well being. She finally just left Jensen have him. The man has been able to leave the nursing facilities and spend time with his son. Jensen wasn't even allowed to visit him before he did that. From what I understand she basically tortured him ever since he was little and it got worse when his dad had the stroke." James lays his head back on the pillow. 

"So your telling me that she is the bad one in this situation." McCain asks.

"I found more shit on her then those two kids. The older brother and the younger sister have nothing to do with their brother because he's gay and mother doesn't want that affecting them. She is one fine character." James says with sarcasm rolling off him.

"How long have you been working for Mrs. Ackles?" McCain asks.

"Long enough to know she's evil, twisted and will do almost anything to get what she wants. About two months." James replies.

"Why the change in heart now?" McCain looks at James.

"Just the way she looked earlier. If the devil had minions here she would be one of them. I told her I was at a dead end, couldn't find anything. Jared took care of the twins and Jensen drank and fucked what he could when Jared left. Neither have done much over the last couple of years. Jensen got whatever was in his system out and Jared worked like a dog. Then a conference at Jared's work brought Jensen back into his life and they got back together." James straightens out the blanket covering him.

"So she was pushing for anything she could use against them, even if it wasn't true. You didn't find anything on them?" McCain says.

"Not a damn thing." James replies.

"Okay thank you for your time. I will be in touch." McCain says as he leaves. 

"I will do what I need to if it comes to a trial. That woman doesn't need any children in her life. The oldest doesn't bring his around. " James says as McCain leaves. 

McCain stands in the hall rubbing his eyes. The days just seems to drag on even as he wants to go home. The woman is clearly crazy but nothing was ever brought into the light of day, so nothing could of ever been done about the abuse. Then shooting a man because he wouldn't give her information he didn't have was another check against her. So crazy is as crazy does. Some people just don't live well in a normal world and make life hell for others. Maybe this one would be better if she just died and no one had to go through the hell anymore. Life is a tricky thing when it comes to things like this. It sure would be nice to retire, McCain thinks as he leaves the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jared are you doing okay?" Jensen asks as he crawls into bed.

"Yeah just a messed up day. What are you going to do?" Jared rolls slowly over shoving his pillow under his stomach.

"I don't know yet. I really don't have much to do. I would be the last person that would be contacted except for this being a police investigation. She was in the wrong. She shot a man because she couldn't find any dirt on us. Hell I don't think I have done anything in years." Jensen snuggles up as close to Jared as he can.

"Yeah this is really messed up. This is going to sound bad but if she dies I wont be hurt." Jared says.

"I don't see how you would she isn't a great person. She has messed up your life as well as mine. I am just glad she hasn't been able to do what she was trying to do. She would of ruined Anna and Bray. I probably would of killed her myself. Prison would of been better than letting her have my kids." Jensen kisses Jared.

"She would of never of gotten her hands on them." Jared scoots closer to Jensen.


End file.
